Messy Ch. 07

The fun couldn't last forever though, and after cuddling and talking long into the afternoon, Sienna gathered up her clothing and dressed in the bathroom while I found a pair of jeans. When we next faced each other, she was again the hot librarian who'd stood on my doorstep last night.

"Take this off for me?" She shrugged into her coat at the door and motioned at the collar and I undid the buckle. We looked at each other, the sexual longing and tension transmuted into...something else...with the slip of nylon straps against metal clasp.

"Will I see you again?" He voice was weird, an attempt at normal bordering on concern.

"Yeah, I think we can do this again sometime."

"Good. I had fun. I...I needed this. More than you can imagine."

Good. I - " Sienna cut off my sentence by stepping up to me and kissing me. Hard. Desperately.

Longingly.

The same way I'd kissed her in my dream. It was disconcerting to feel it back.

"I'll see you around, Gary."

Then she was out the door, a blast of cold air and the slam of wood on wood marking her departure before I could even say goodbye.

I cleaned the house, putting things away, making the living space look pristine and new. Somehow I didn't want to see evidence of her stay. I stood at the doorway of my bedroom and stared at the rumpled sheets and blankets, heard her cries and shrieks and moans in my head.

Dammit.

Why was this girl haunting me so? I had slept with dozens of women without getting emotionally interested. Tori was really the only exception, disinterest and disconnect ruling my sex life. Why Sienna?

With the house clean, I pulled out the bottle of Chopin to make myself a drink. I needed the numbness a buzz would give me, one that could fill the distressing emptiness I felt. I looked at the bottle in my hand.

If I was going to hide from myself in a bottle, I needed to earn it.

I put in a thundering kickboxing workout on the heavybag downstairs before detaching it and working it over with a ground-and-pound routine that Tori had taught me, throwing violent punches, elbows, knees, headbutts into the canvas. When I was soaked in sweat and bent double, then I picked up the fifty pounds dumbbells and started a circuit training routine.

It felt good to punish myself. I couldn't accept punishment or damage willingly from any hand but my own, so the times when I put the hurt down on my body felt GOOD.

I followed up the workout with a scalding hot shower, dressed, and made dinner.

I DIDN'T pour myself a drink.

I was shoveling mushrooms and pasta into my mouth when Tori let herself in the back door, shivering in the cold.

"Hey you. How was your weekend?"

I had to feel her in my arms. The sense of need bordered on grief it was so strong.

I rose and wrapped my arms around her, burying my head in the shoulder of her puffy gray jacket as I squeezed and lifted her.

Tori wrapped her arms and legs around me, tried to go for a kiss and realized I was more interested in holding her. "You alright?" she asked, somewhat muffled.

I let her down. "Yeah. I just...I missed you is all."

We ate and talked about our weekends - her's spent holed up in a small town hotel with a guy who was an artist with a cane and hemp ties, mine with Sienna and dealing with my SUV. Tori pressed for details on the sexual aspect of my weekend and I just grinned at her over the rim of my hot chocolate mug. "I never kiss and tell."

"Could I have her number? She seemed pretty cool at the Halloween Bash, I'd like to meet her."

"I'll text her and ask. I think you might like her."

A mischievous gleam crept into Tori's eyes."Think she'd like to go Christmas shopping with us?"

I considered that. "Could be fun. But let's see if you guys actually LIKE each other first."

"I can just imagine all the fun we could have..." Tori mused, her voice sounding dreamy.

I went to bed early that night, leaving the light on for Tori. Eventually she entered the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, idly running a brush through her hair. Normally her night time attire ran to flannel shirts and nothing underneath, but tonight she was wearing a very lacy set of lingerie, the barely-there cups of her bra lifting her already high breasts, her barely-there panties disappearing between her buttcheeks, just a few pieces of string and a wedge shaped piece of fabric.

She sat there, brushing, watching me read.

I looked over. "Everything alright? You don't usually wait this long to get into bed. Did you want to talk about something?"

"I think I'm gonna move my stuff back to my house this week. Nothing has happened since the paint incident, so I'm feeling better about being alone."

"Ok. I reached out and have her bare knee a squeeze. "I'm glad you're feeling safer."

"Me too."

There was silence for a few minutes before Tori spoke again. "Did you notice what I'm wearing?"

I looked her up and down. "Very nice."

"It's 'going to bed wear' not 'going to to bed wear.'"

"Ah. Important difference."

She set the brush on the nightstand and slipped under the covers, pulled my book away and tossed it on the floor before crawling over my body. She straddled me, gently bucking and rubbing her panty-covered groin against boxers. "I need something from you, and you can ask whatever price you want for it. However you want me to please you, however you want me to fuck you, it's yours..."

"Hmmm?"

Tori lowered her head, kissed and licked at my neck. "I need you to do for me all those things that I didn't let Michael do to me all weekend. All the things that I only let YOU do to me."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I need you to spank me. And then fuck me. Cum inside of me. And then once I've sucked you hard again, push that thick, long dick up my ass." Her kisses trailed down my bare chest, and I felt myself getting hard at her words. I could picture each individual act, and I knew how much we'd both enjoy them.

"Hey." I gently pulled at her, brought her back to eye level. I started at her beautiful face, one that I knew so well. I'd seen every emotion cross it - joy, laughter, anger, fear, pain, sadness, ecstasy, and all the shades in between.

I felt guilty.

I felt empty.

"Soon. Tonight I just need to hold you, ok? That's my price. Put it off till tomorrow or the next day."

She looked disappointed. "Sure, but...you ok?"

I reached over, turned off the light.

"I'm fine."

Tori snuggled down into my arms, small enough that I could rest my chin on top of her head. I could feel her body against mine, but I had no idea what I was feeling mentally.

Dammit.