All Comments on 'Miami Vice'

I enjoyed the entrée, but I'd like to see how you turn it into a main course.

Nevertheless, I gave it 4.

Cheers,

MC

Predictable but interesting. Three stars for trying.

Wham! Bam! No thank you ma'am!

5

Agree with EmmSea

It was a good entree and there was no meal after that.

Write a stretched out version.

4/5 for this.

Straight to the point! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Doesn't seem like 750 words.

750 words. A good treatment for a longer story. 5★

Good story. Could have been longer with more details - i.e. was there a pre-nuptial agreement? Was there an infidelity clause. Are they in a no fault state? Will he get hit with alimony considering she may have just lost her job? And of course what happened in both the near future, and a few years down the road.

Almost satisfying. A little light on the meat though. If he knew the guy was a pussy hound and she knew he knew then she's another waste of DNA. And said DNA shouldn't be passed down to future generations. 4 star story but that's because he isn't a willing cuck. So far. The stories about work teams going to resorts like that on work outings is not something that I would be comfortable with in my marriage. I am a jealous and sometimes violent man and maybe that team leader would benefit from knowing something like that about his prey's husband.

Excellent 750 word story! *****

Always make sure that people know that the slut ended the marriage. Don’t ever let anyone blame you!

5 Stars!!!

ZK

750 words is 750 words. The text fit the format.

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OTOH, there is a great opportunity to write a fukler version in extended format. I'd love to see 3500 - 7900 words, or even more. Some of us want to see everything, and you're a good writer!

If you feel strongly about needing more words

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Its not that we feel strongly about need more words, just enough to actually tell a story, as opposed to an excerpt

You idiots! It’s a 750 word story! 5*. Thanks for taking the 750 challenge

Great for an opening, would love to read the fallout.

For what it is, it's very good. That's the problem with social media. If the wrong photo is posted, you’re in trouble. It seems to me that the marriage was already in trouble before. This was just the killer blow. Good job they had no kids.

That worked well. Short and to the point.

Great story, and I don't care about the 750 words. It's still a great story.

Great expected outcome 5*

One of the better 750-word stories I've read...

...the story was told, the news was spread, and the bitch was burned.

A beginning. A middle. An ending.

Nicely done...

...5 ***** !

People, people, people! How many times does it have to be said, that divorce and financial settlement are first, the burning and retribution are second! If she is fired first it very negatively affects the financial settlement.

Order of operations is always important!

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, but sometimes worse! Good one, 5 stars

For the people complaining about 750 word stories, the point is that sometimes we want to write them. Hell, I write 100 word stories as a writing exercise. I have 150+ story seeds in my spreadsheet that are probably never going to all get written—at least not as full-length stories—but that are worth dropping a few hundred words on.

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“Write a really short short story” is something that has gone on for way longer than this site. Other sites even play into it with microfiction (100 word story) sections. Instead of complaining you’re not getting more, why not just be thankful that you are getting something fun? It’s not like you’re paying for it.

Not sure I agree that the "rest of the story" is completely known, but pretty good for a 750-word effort. 4.5*

Page two of a four-page story. I like a good 750-word story, but this was more of an excerpt.

This would have been soooo much better if you expanded the ending. BTB stories are really about the ending.

The biggest piece of fiction in all of these stories is how to spouse that was cheated on always has the phone numbers and emails of all of the other spouses.

Sending the private investigator report to both sets of parents is believable and possibly legal. Sending the full report to all of the family and friends is revenge porn and illegal. Yes everyone knows she is at fault for ruining the marriage but he is looking at criminal charges. Including that in the divorce process and aftermath would be a creative twist on the story.

Bullseye!

JR

Way to abrupt of an ending.

How about a little follow up with her getting home and facing the music?

Boring and predictable

A sequel would be great

good short story , could be a follow up ?

Great story,I like more details about how their lives are affected.

May not be unique, but certainly an uncommon “how they found out” as far as the stories I’ve read go. Well and succinctly done!

Pretty lazy. Makings for a really good story but because of the length it is only fair.

750 is all you need if you know what you’re doing. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The interesting part of the story is the method of discovery -- a photo posted on Fakebook. The rest of the story is standard fare.

What intrigues me is the thought process of the cheaters. Why post the photo? Why even pose for a photo and ask someone not part of the group to take it? Why a particular pose with such familiarity among the group of cheaters that raises questions?

Of course, as in all such cases of cheating, how do a group of work colleagues get to the point of having an orgy? Not likely to be their first instance of cheating. So that leads to all kinds of questions which now haunt their spouses.

short but packed with story, Well done

I agree with other posts in that this needs a follow on story.

If I was Hubby, and still loved my wife, like this one sounded like, I would have tossed EVERYTHING she owned out into the front yard and turned the sprinklers on. She Destroys his trust, heart, and love, the least he can do in return is to destroy EVERYTHING else that she owns. She trusted him to take care of her belongings while she gave her precious body away. He destroyed the home she thought she was going to return to, her job, and her relationship with her family and friends. LOL The wife having an affair with one man is bad enough. But to engage in a sexual orgy with a bunch of your co-workers is totally beyond the pale. The Wife is lucky that he just didn't "burn" it down! 10 stars, and stop whining people, you get what you pay for here. Buster2U

That worked. To a growing degree, technology has eliminated the opportunity to lie and that's a good thing.

1. "... I knew the people she went with, three guys and another woman, all married. Safe, except the leader of the group ..." The story would have been more consistent if the cheating didn't include all those said to be safe.

2. It would make more sense if something was changed or added to make sense of the married Horny Hal posting such a racy picture that suggests he and Brenda were acting in a way that fails the spouse test.

It would have been easy to change the facts slightly to clean those little details up while leaving the important parts in place.

I entirely enjoy your stories in the 750-word format, but I would like to see how you handle something a little longer. FIve stars

It absolutely astounds me what people post on social media. Things that used to be kept on the QT are now posted on the internet like people used to write about in their diaries or journals. When everything is out there for the world to see, they can't really get pissed when it blows up in their faces. Now days everyone has at their fingertips a phone that in quality, rivals the very expensive digital camaras of just ten or fifteen years ago with zoom features that even in low light work like magic. And because everyone has a phone in their hands, no one pays any attention to them to see if they are doing facetime, reading a text or taking a video or picture of someone else. So be warned, if you are doing something you don't want everyone to know about, look around, does someone have a phone pointed your way, don't do anything you aren't willing to see plastered all over the internet. 4-stars.

A decent effort, but too short.

750 word stories are basically this: "I thought of an interesting/unique scene, but I'm too lazy to write a full story."

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Yes, that was a clever way of discovering her infidelity. If you'd fleshed this out properly, you could have had a really high score.

Quick draw fun.

Over 40 years in the work force every friend that’s worked for competent have to travel are all fucking others. They all say the same thing the married ones are the worst. They feel they can’t get caught. A fried worked for a major production company. She traveled a lot but once a year for 3-4 weeks. She did something to a friend she worked with for decades to give her the promotion. She got in touch with the husband and filled him in on her cheating from day 1 which at that point meant over 20 years. The guy was her boss and he waited until they got back from Europe and beat the shit out of him . The guy caved and said it was only when away he was sorry . The wife was in shock . He started divorce which she tried to stop. Hubby went all out against the company, outed everyone cheating. They gave him a settlement he told his wife to bring suit also because she was getting shit from divorce

This was barely a whiff of the food being cooked, let alone a meal.

Unfinished and unsatisfying....like all 750 word efforts....could have been a good story.

Half a story , needs a full story line. To simple and too short.

I would have liked a full story of 3 pages or more. What makes Hal so good at seducing 5 women . Married? And what is Brenda’s story to succumb to such a creep. If you can write that it could be a good read.

My problem with 750s is not that many are lame…it is that some are great … like this one … and it makes me mad that there isn’t any more!

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5 *****

sorry for the lower rating. This had the makings of a pretty good story, fell short. Still not bad for a 750 word synopsis.

Great story. Short and sweet I would like to see a 2nd part from Brenda's view if it was planned the whole time or did happen after arriving. Also, could it be she had already been fooling around with Hal even before this trip. A lot of ways to write a 2nd part to this story.

Sorry for all the haters of these short stories that don’t read them. It was a great few minute read, had everything in 785 words. Plus truly a BTB ending for the cheaters.

Thanks for writing…..

I’m not gonna lie - I’d like to read about the aftermath.

It seems there are no authors on here anymore the can ftds.

Short but sweet! Thank you, easy 5 stars

Only 3 stars because no follow up to the ending.

Far to short for a tale that good

funperson969 tells wonderful BTB stories. But...never finishes them. You can't tell a good BTB story and leave out the Burn. And just calling the family, friends, coworkers, etc isn't enough. 3*

Nice set up, but so much more to unpack.

I can see how it’s a challenge for an author to make a 750 word story, basically you take a complete story, remove all the juicy emotions people come here for., then troll the people looking for a real story.

This post is the framework of what you would pitch to a publisher, to get them to fund you writing the story

Pretty good for 750. Four stars.

JPB

By the way, I see four stars as just about max fou a 750 I did give one a five once, but it was really special. This was a four.

JPB

For what it was, it was very good/excellent, but it cries out for more.

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@deadone, I fortunately know nothing about divorce laws, but just like cheating apparently doesn't affect divorce settlements, her loss of income due to her cheating shouldn't affect it either.

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@Anonymous Re: Revenge porn - There are many things in these stories that can't be done in real-life, yet most of us accept them, if at times grudgingly, like suing the cheating spouse's employer, not to mention all the husbands who are ex-Special Forces, or who have "friends in low places."

It does beg a follow up. Just to see if the story matches our imagination.

Yep, screw them all!

Gave it a 2. Not because it is a LW trope pee se, but being a 750 word story meant the part that could be different , the consequences, was so trite it meant the whole story was fluff.

Some 750 word stories work, but this one didn’t. Too much started and left open.

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For example, the micro bikini. If he’d never seen it, then she bought and hid it deliberately, which tells us that she’d been planning this in all along, and had cheated before.

Abrupt, but reasonably so. Excellent work!

Attaboy

Too Short. This could have had 3 or 4 chapters, side character development for the other people. For a 750, this should only have had the ex-wife and her boss. 3 but it bordered on a 4.

Fantastic short, but begs for a followup and some insight into the wife's thinking.

The difficulty of writing a 750-word story is developing the characters enough that we care about what happens to them. Sorry, this doesn't make it.

Short and to the point. I wish all cheaters ended so sweet.

Yeah, still too short, no aftermath shown, so it leaves a lot to be desired

I love that the writer said everything and finished the story. The writer is correct in his intro that plenty of other stories on this site repeat the same details over and over about the very predictable conclusion. 5 stars.

I love commenters, who despite being warned -read and are disappointed what they read is what was described.

Five from me.

750 word stories are for readers with imagination who do not need to be spoon fed the answers. A light set up and a conclusion is all that is needed. The rest is window dressing. As for tension, again imagine yourself setting at home when your wife does not call to say how things are going? All the tension you need. *****

I don't see my original comment, so.... First, I rated this 4 stars but upping it to 5. For a word limited story, this was written well & did it's job.

However! In writing that, the story's too short, no depth (can't have that in 750 words I suppose), & no initial causing what wife did or what happened after the husband left. Including any discussion that might've been along the way. (Again... the 750 word thing. Maybe they should have a 1200 word contest!)

My rating, which generally would've been that 4, maybe reduced to 3 because of the above, was skewed because of the attempt to fit this story in the word parameters. (Such big words/ concepts I used! I amazed myself.) So it's a 5. Bob

FTDS

As with all 750 word paragraphs......who? And who cares.

If predictability is the problem, then the part we see is just as predictable. A hubby wondering if his obviously slut wife is really a slut...nothing new here. I'd wager more people find the aftermath enjoyable, as predictable as it may be.

Short and to the point. But, needs more crying, wailing, smoking craters, and blood running in the street.

There are no secrets in today’s high tech world. Great story.

Short 'stories' have to have NECESSARY information to be 'good', 99% of this was unnecessary FILLER.

I liked it and gave it 5 stars. I'd like to see what the aftermath held, but with a 750 word story that doesn't happen, which is why I dislike them.

785 is not 750. The official count of the site is final. Due to that simple fact, thank you for you effort it was a fun sort of story. No vote registered BTW.

Simple and direct enough. No really need to add anything else...

But it sure made this story boring, didn't it?

To manage an entire straight to the point revenge for cheating story in 750 words or less is very impressive. Yeah it lacked all the thoughts of revenge, the planning and discarding of the usual blowing up their cars with them or shooting them in bed but it still managed to get the gist of the situation and showed the immediate and simple revenge of letting everyone know she is a slut in his eyes. Givin it a fiver.

You play, you pay!

Ehh, too short.. felt extremely rushed...

Powerful, short, and to the point. A lot of hell is raised in "five" families.

Nice writing you were right though, tons of these in LW. Who knew he would catch her?????

Oh yeh forgot to mention. You forgot the Earth Shattering Kaboom! There is always an Earth Shattering Kaboom

This deserves a 2nd page at least

🙊🙈🙉💨🤔

... and they all lived happily ever after ....

HAHAHAHAHA

Very short and to the point. Now this is how to write a story but it would be nice IF another chapter is added. The results of 5 destroyed families and the repercussions of such. 4/5 stars. Keep the stories coming.