Midsummer in Finland

"So, Sir McDonkeydick," Katja said and tipped her water bottle towards him. "Is there a missus McDonkeydick? Or are you free to follow distressed damsels into their lair?"

There was no mistaking the glint in her eye.

"Or, wait, do damsels have lairs?" She continued, biting her lip thoughtfully. "It sounds like an evil thing."

There were those dimples again. She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"There was a missus"--he glanced up as a few runners walked close beside him--"McDonagh, but we are separated. So I am currently a free agent."

"Uh huh," Katja said and emptied her water bottle. "So, mister knight? You coming or what?"

She got up and gathered her belongings. Magnus followed suit and stepped behind her when she headed to the field which acted as a make-shift parking place. He was elated, but felt a little like he was a bull being led to slaughter. He had some experience of picking up women from the time before his marriage, but he didn't remember ever having been picked up himself, at least not so matter-of-factly.

"Wait, I should tell my ride I'm not coming," he said. "I was going to this place where the sauna is hosted afterwards."

"Oh, the farm?" She also looked around. "There! Hei, Sami!"

She waved at the man and they had a conversation, half shouted over the gathering masses of runners, that made Magnus blush. He didn't think anyone could miss the innuendo, even when he himself didn't understand all of it. Grandma Helena had always been insistent on talking only Finnish, and he had prided himself on his skills, being far more fluent than many of other "Canadian Finnish" he had met over the years. It wasn't until he had come to Finland that he had realized the restrictions of his practical Finnish.

Her car was small. Magnus folded himself to the passenger side, and Katja laughed at his troubles. Katja pointed up different sights and told little stories of places they passed. They flirted, and Magnus felt the anticipation growing. He felt giddy, the antsy waiting piling up in his gut reminded him of when he first started dating his wife, Millie. It was such a long time ago, but it all came back so easily. He felt alive, life prickling his skin, and flowing in his veins. After a short ride on winding dirt roads she parked on a bumpy clearing under tall fir trees.

"Welcome to my evil lair, sir knight," she said, her eyes twinkling.

"Thank you, kind princess," he responded, and started to twist his longer body out of the vehicle.

Katja slammed the door on her side, then stood listening. A distinctive sound of wood being chopped carried from somewhere close.

"Hm, okay," she said.

"Hmm?" Magnus asked.

"I thought he might've left already. No matter. Come, sir knight, and meet my husband."

"Your... what?"

Magnus had never felt his dick deflate so quickly. He tried to wrap his mind around what she had just said, to give meaning to this new tidbit of information. She had asked him if he was spoken for, and he had taken it to mean she wasn't. Now he didn't know what to think, and suddenly he realized he was in some distant corner of unknown countryside, with no easy means to leave. He stood rooted by the car, leaning against it to support his whirling thoughts.

"My husband," Katja repeated and turned towards him. She was smiling, a web of wrinkles spreading from the corners of her eyes. "Oh come on, how are you so horrified? You said you are married yourself."

"Yes... but... we are separated, to be divorced, and... did I misunderstand you somehow?"

"Misunderstand me how?" Katja asked. Magnus didn't know how to answer. Katja stepped closer and took his hand, tugging him along. "Okay, mister knight," she said as they started towards a small rise to the cabin's yard. "I have the most dishonorable intentions for you. I intend to examine that donkey dick of yours, and compare its practical qualities to a non-cut one. Is that unambiguous enough for you? Now, if you don't want to, I'm sure my husband will give you a lift to that farm where the Nakukymppi sauna is held. He's heading over there anyway. I thought he had already left, but it sounds like he's late."

"But you didn't say you were married," Magnus pointed out. He felt defensive and deceived.

"No, I didn't," she agreed. "Would you have come if I did?"

"I don't understand," Magnus said. "Do you have an open marriage?"

"Something like that, yeah. Oh hei, Janne!"

She raised her voice and a tall man stopped chopping firewood and raised his hand in a greeting. Magnus let go of Katja's hand and fought the strong urge to flee. The man stretched, slammed the axe fast to the chopping block, and started towards them. He was dark haired, about as tall as Magnus, and was smiling amusedly.

"So did you finish the run?" he said to Katja. "Or were you too busy picking up souvenirs?"

"Oh ha ha," said Katja. "It turns out, you were right, I couldn't run the distance. I had a cramp midway through. Magnus here helped me back."

"Magnus, is it?" Janne said and extended his hand towards him. "I'm Janne. Welcome to our place."

They shook hands. Janne's grip was firm and friendly. The feeling of surreal washed over Magnus again. "I... thank you," he said meekly.

"Sauna is warming up, and there's beer in the cellar," Janne said to both of them. "I'll head along shortly, but I thought I'd top up the logs first. We made them a bit on the long side."

"I told you they were too long for the sauna," Katja said with a smirk.

"You did indeed," Janne agreed easily. "Anyway, I think that's enough. Oh, and salad is ready, it's in the fridge."

"Thanks, honey," Katja said and reached up to kiss him. "I'll be just a minute."

She started towards the cabin and left the men standing in the yard. Magnus's panic swelled with every step of her departure. He didn't know which way to look.

"Want a beer?" Janne asked in a friendly manner. Magnus nodded and followed him to a smaller building, closer to the shore. A lake stretched beyond a few tall birch trees, blue and glimmering in the sunlight, it's surface rippled with the summer breeze which swayed reeds lining the shore.

Janne disappeared into what Magnus assumed to be a cellar dug into the ground, then appeared again with a beer can in each hand. He gestured towards the pier, and they walked to it. There were rails and wooden benches on each side, and they sat, facing each other.

"I didn't know she was married," Magnus blurted out. Janne seemed totally nonchalant by having his wife bring a man home, and Magnus couldn't really understand it.

Janne laughed, then shrugged. "Well, I'm sure she didn't mean to mislead you. Guess it just didn't come up."

The beer was cold and soothing. "So... you're alright with her bringing men home? You guys have some sort of an open marriage?"

"Something like that, yeah," Janne said and took a long swig of his beer. "It's not like we do it a lot. But we do have this understanding."

Katja walked across the yard towards the pier, remarked on how gentlemanly it was to not get a beer for her, and turned towards the cellar again. The men watched her go.

"So we have this deal that if we really really want something on the side, it's okay," Janne said. "There's no point in pushing each other to cheat, is there? We've been together for twenty years, that's plenty long to be just with each other."

Janne looked at Magnus. He had the same average Finnish blue eyes that Katja had.

"The thing is, you can't own a woman like that," he said. "Maybe not any kind of a woman. But definitely not her. Simple as that, really."

"Oh, okay," Magnus said feebly.

They sat in silence and watched as Katja approached with beer in hand. She still had a slight limp, but it didn't stop her hips swinging in the most enticing way. She smiled at them, her steps making the pier bob under her feet, and sat down beside Magnus. She toasted both of them and sipped her beer.

"So, sir Magnus," she said. "You want to stay here with me, or leave with Janne? The farm with the sauna and accommodation is on that side of the lake"--she gestured with her beer--"and Janne will row over shortly. He can take you along if you'd prefer that."

Magnus looked from one to the other. He was still taken aback by this turn of events, but a sense of daring was building inside him. Hell, this was definitely something to boast about back home.

"He'll stay, of course he'll stay," Janne said and gulped down the rest of his beer. "I better get going before the boys drink all the moonshine."

Janne handed his empty can to Katja and got up to untie the rowing boat from the nearby birch tree. He stepped aboard, pushing the boat swiftly away from the shore, and took his place in the middle seat. With even pulls he started to row across the lake, oars making small swirls in the almost-still water.

Magnus felt his spirit sink again. He didn't appreciate the way these Finns made decisions for him.

"No motors allowed on this lake," said Katja and gestured to where Janne's boat got steadily smaller. "Come on, we better eat now, I'm starving."

She walked off, and after spending a confused moment watching from where Janne was disappearing to where Katja was walking away, Magnus followed her.

The salad was delicious. They ate on the cabin's veranda, watching over the sunshine washed yard and glancing at each other, downing another beer. Katja sighed and leaned back in her chair, apparently sated after wolfing down her food.

"So, Sir McDonkeydick," she said. "Before I have another beer. Do you want to stay or do you want to leave? I can drive you over to the farm, if you like, but not if I have a few more."

"Do you think that's for the best?"

"No, of course not. I would like you to stay. But I can see you're not as thrilled as before."

"Well it was a surprise you are married," Magnus admitted and slumped back in his own chair. "I didn't anticipate it."

"Okay," Katja said. "I'm sorry if I misled you. What did you expect, then? Someone free and willing? I suppose you're not looking for a wife, while you're just getting rid of the last one?"

She had a smirk on her face, and it annoyed Magnus.

"Fine," he said. "Okay. I was expecting you to be free. I don't think it's right to fool around if you're married."

"But you are married," she pointed out.

"That's different! We're getting divorced."

"Okay then, fair point," she said. "It's your choice, of course. My point is, you were planning on having casual sex with me, and I don't see how that's changed. You couldn't possibly expect me to be a virgin. I'm 44, and by the looks of you, you weren't born yesterday, either. If you're looking for 40-year-old virgins, you've come to the wrong country."

"Not virgins, no," he said. "But this just feels weird."

"You're not doing it behind my husband's back," she pointed out.

"I know. But, hell, I wouldn't want to do it in front of him, either."

"No? We could've asked him to join us," Katja said and now her smirk was so wide the dimples came out.

"Have you done that?"

"No, I don't think we have, actually."

Magnus emptied the rest of his beer. He didn't want to leave, but he wasn't sure he wanted to stay.

"Hey, listen," Katja said in a more serious tone. "How about you stay for a bit? We'll go to sauna and get to know each other, okay? You don't need to commit. I won't force you."

"Well, okay."

Katja took the plates inside and returned with two more beers.

"I'll check the sauna," she said, handing Magnus a beer and walking across the lawn, opening her own. She cussed and held the can a little to the side, when it foamed over, then took a swig. Her hair had a golden tint in the sun, and Magnus let his gaze drift downward. She had on a pair of shorts which did little to hide the curve of her ass and the shape of her legs. She was barefoot, and that gave her a cute, hippie-ish aura, along with her hair which flowed down her back when she tilted her head to drink.

She disappeared into the sauna and Magnus leaned back, letting his gaze sweep the yard. His mind kept returning to Katja's curves, how exactly her body had looked on their nude run, and he weighed his indignation over her marital status against it. True, he wasn't looking for anything serious, not on this continent, anyway; and true, he wasn't looking for virgins, hadn't been for decades. So why was he so upset? Janne didn't seem half as upset as he was, and all things considered, he was the one who would've had the right to be upset.

The summer evening was calming down. Even the slight breeze had quieted, and only a few small tufts of cotton-like clouds floated over the still lake. Bees and butterflies had settled for the night, but the whine of the first mosquito of the night hovered at the edge of his hearing. Sun was nearing the edge of the forest across the lake, but Magnus knew it would hardly drop under before it emerged again. He had spent a week in the far north, marveling at the midnight sun. This southern part of Finland wasn't much different, even when the sun did officially set for a moment or two.

Katja went to the cellar, came back again, put a selection of beer and cider cans in a bucket of water on the table on the sauna's porch. She went inside the cabin, smiling at Magnus when passing by, then returned with two towels, a sharp knife, and a moomin-themed ceramic bowl she set on the table in front of Magnus.

"Snacks for sauna," she said. "Those are reindeer meat"--she pointed to the reddish dried meat slabs--"and those are salmiakki"--she pointed to the black candy--"and the rest is just normal sugar and additives."

"I know about salted licorice, I like it," Magnus said and reached for a piece of meat. "But reindeer? As a snack?"

He had tried reindeer steaks and stew up north, but hadn't tried dried meat. The taste was gamelike, reminding him of moose he had eaten as a kid when his grandfather was a member of a local hunting club.

"We're on a low-carb diet," Katja said, explanatory, and picked up a piece of candy. "I know, I know, candy's not low-carb, nor is beer. But I feel it's good to have principles. And then do what you want, regardless."

She winked at Magnus. There was a row of shoes on the cabin's veranda, and Katja slipped her bare feet into a pair of way too big black rubber boots that came almost to her knees. She swaggered over to the woods beside the sauna, and proceeded to cut a bunch of leafy birch branches with her knife. She walked back to the porch, tying a length of twine around the handle side with a practiced ease, forming a leafy whisk.

"You know about this?" She asked and flogged Magnus's arm lightly. "Now, the important question: vasta or vihta?"

"Vasta," Magnus said. "Grandma Helena used to make them every summer."

"Ah, a good answer," Katja said with a smile so wide it displayed the dimples. "I approve of grandma Helena. Come, sauna is ready."

They undressed and stepped into humid heat. Magnus climbed to the top bench, while Katja stayed on the floor, scooping water from the big tub in the corner. She poured it over her head, hissing where cool water hit her skin. Magnus followed the cascading water down her body, then averted his eyes with difficulty.

"You want to wet your hair?" she asked. "Well you don't have that much."

Magnus smiled. Katja's long hair curled a little when wet and clung to her skin. She climbed up next to him and gestured for him to throw water onto the stove. Magnus did, and for a while they sat and relaxed, letting the heat caress their bodies. Magnus let his mind empty, leaning back against the hot wall, letting his muscles relax. He had always loved sauna.

"Löylyä lissää", Katja said after a long while. "You know that song? 'Sauna on elämän onnea varten, sauna on lahjana jumalatarten'"--Magnus joined in, and they finished together--"'löylyä lissää, löylyä lissää, löylyä lissää kiukaalle!'"

Katja laughed. "I do approve of grandma Helena! I thought it was silly to think you're Finnish if you're Canadian, but maybe there's something to it."

She stretched, providing Magnus a delightful view of her sweaty body, and said, "Ready to be spanked now?"

"Uh huh," Magnus agreed and bent over his knees.

The first slap was so sharp he flinched. He clenched his jaw, willing himself to relax into it, and soon the steady, firm swatting made the skin on his back prickle with life. It felt exquisite, and he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Grandma Helena had always been careful and gentle, hitting him nowhere near this hard, but then he had been a small child back then. He loved how the hot air hit his skin a fraction of the second before the branches, how it gave him the smallest heads-up before the impact. It didn't hurt, but it did engage his skin.

Katja finished by stroking his back with the vasta, soothing his skin. It tickled and felt fantastic at the same time.

"How's that?" She asked. "Will you do me?"

Magnus sighed and straightened his back, stretching. "Awesome."

He took the vasta and turned to Katja. She was hunched forward, much as he had been, and he regarded her back. He took a contemplative swing, and Katja let out an encouraging sound. He swatted a little harder, filling the air with the green scent of summer, and Katja sounded pleased. He patted her back thoroughly, taking care to hit every spot. A few stray leaves stuck to her skin, and when he was done, he tentatively peeled them off, stroking her slick skin with his hand rather than the vasta.

"Awesome," Katja said, sitting up and flashing him a dimpled grin. "I guess you are Finnish, eh? Want to go swimming now?"

She gestured for him to put the vasta back in the bucket of water and follow her outside. It wasn't cold, but the air felt luxuriously smooth and cool on Magnus's sweaty skin. Katja turned towards the pier, and Magnus followed, realizing only after a few steps that she was going skinny-dipping. He hadn't thought of this, and had his swimming trunks packed in his bag. He considered getting them, but it felt ridiculous and prissy. He watched how Katja's hips swung, when she carefully treaded the narrow path, taking care not to step on pine cones and branches, and the sight made him swallow.

Katja dived in head first, disappearing in one fluid movement and appearing again a few meters outwards. Magnus admired her easy strokes, and when she turned to see if he'd follow, he dived in after her.

The water felt cold, enveloping him in a smooth, shocking coolness, and he forced himself not to hurry but take a few swift strokes under the surface, coming up at the same general place she had. She smiled at him, and together they swam. A loon cried out somewhere over the lake, its haunting cry echoing in the still of the night. Magnus thought there couldn't be a more perfect sound for a summer night, and that the hair on his arms would've stood up by the enchanted beauty of it all, if he wasn't underwater.

The wind had calmed completely, and the surface of the lake was smooth as ice, except for the ripples the two of them made. Mist rose from the warm water into cooling air, hovering over the surface in white wisps. After a while, Katja turned onto her back, floating, and Magnus followed suit.

The sky was deep blue, only a few small clouds disturbing the wide, empty canvas above. The water around them settled, and Magnus was enveloped in endless blue, the lake mirroring the sky and him in between. He calmed down at first, then felt his soul swell with gratitude. That he was allowed this moment, this experience, this connection to the land of his ancestors. He often thought of his adventures as stories to tell his friends later, or his kids, but for this he had no words. This was only his.

No--he felt water moving to his right. This wasn't only his, this was his and Katja's. She was here with him. They shared this moment in space and time.