Mike & Karen Ch. 29

She looked at the papers that were strewn everywhere, as well as the endless ceramic caltrops that had recently been a coffee mug. "I assume this will be seen to?"

"Uh-huh," he replied, nodding, but clearly not paying any attention to her or what she was saying.

"Don't mind if I do, then," she muttered, putting down her purse and her books and bending over to begin picking up the scattered papers and the shrapnel of the coffee mug. She tried not to mutter as she cleaned up, occasionally looking over and narrowing her eyes at the student who was still sitting and favouring his knee. Professors and students occasionally walked by, wondering what was happening, but knew better than to stop and ask.

Some minutes later, Karen had deposited all the papers back on the desk, and shoveled the mug shards into a waste basket nearby. While she wasn't late, she had put herself behind, and she hated being merely on time. She hated it almost as much as Michael did. She pushed the papers in front of the young man and nodded.

"And here's your first assignment, good sir," she announced, her hands on her hips. "You may get all these back in order. Do you understand me?"

"Yuh..." was his response, nodding as he finally let go of his knee and rolled back in to the desk, beginning to try and sort the endless papers and surrendering to his titubation.

Karen nodded and began to head to the elevator and down to her first class. Today she'd be talking about flaws inherent in the Euler Method with her students, and-

Damn, I need someone to call and schedule a conference with the Ontario Science Council!

She turned around. "Robert, I-"

The boy yelped in fright and tumbled out of his seat, but not before flinging even more pages than before everywhere and shattering yet another mug. He'd bashed his other knee this time, collapsing to the floor and howling in agony.

"OWWWWWW!!!" he wailed. "OWWWWWW!!!"

Karen just looked on in despondent silence as papers fluttered down around her.

***

Elsewhere on campus...

The students always enjoyed this class, because no matter how difficult or esoteric the subject matter was, their professor had a way of getting through to them and making them understand it. It wasn't uncommon for large amounts of humour to be involved.

"So as you can see, thermometers are no more than speedometers for atoms," he explained, making them laugh. "And as a result, Perpetual Motion remains one of the most important theories in all of Physics."

"I swear, sir, you seem to know everything," one girl said as everyone was getting hold of themselves again. Today had been particularly funny. "I mean, c'mon, have you ever been wrong about science in your life?"

Mike considered for a moment. "Well, when I was much younger, I sometimes mistakenly believed things that I'd heard from less than reputable sources."

"Like what, sir?" she asked, still fascinated. It didn't hurt that Kelly had a huge crush on this man. Every girl in the class did, she knew that much.

Mike smiled. "When I was a young boy in the early Seventies, I believed that stellar debris like small rocks and meteorites had enough atmosphere and oxygen that if you were clinging to one, you'd be able to breathe and survive until you floated close to a real planet."

"What?" Kelly asked, her eyes wide. Everyone else seemed stunned too. "Who told you that?"

"Rocket Robin Hood," Mike said with a shrug. "A cartoon I grew up with. I was four, cut me some slack, okay?"

Yet more laughter. Half the students was already Googling the cartoon and considered watching it an assignment.

***

Outside, not long after...

Alexa was walking across the campus green, smiling and singing a tune she was rehearsing to herself, enjoying the mild spring day. She'd had fun running pink and blue threads of colour through the ends of her voluminous golden hair that tumbled almost to her knees, and lots of people had been complimenting her on the look. She was wearing form-fitting pants that flared out into bell-bottoms, with peace and flower power patches sewn onto it. Her shirt was light and breezy, with a string tie, and fringes with beads.

She had an hour before her next class, so she thought she might try to find Alex, or maybe Heather was around to-

Three young men stopped in front of her, the one in the middle scowling. She came to a stop as well and simply stared at them.

"You really think you're all that, don't you?" the student in the middle of the small gang said, still giving her a look. "Hot girl on campus, big tits, long legs, and long blonde hair. I'll bet guys are swooning all over you, right?"

"Well, one doesn't like to brag," Alexa said simply, shrugging.

"And worse than being a tease, you're marrying your own nephew?" he scoffed. "Gotta wonder how that's legal."

"It's not," she replied. "Yet."

"So y'just wander around campus, showing off how you look, and meanwhile, everyone knows you're not available because of your precious nephew. If it weren't for him, you'd be sleeping with whoever you wanted, right?"

"I suppose that's possible," she answered. "It's a free country, after all."

"Well I sure as Hell wouldn't want to sleep with a girl like you," he sneered.

"Oh, don't worry, big man," Alexa cooed, her sapphire eyes glinting, a smirk on her lovely face. "You never will."

The student's eyes snapped wide before his face contorted in fury.

The campus security office, not long after...

It had been quite a sudden kerfuffle, but it was over by the time campus security arrived, also. When they rushed up, Alexa was standing over the three male students, her blue eyes blazing angrily. They were lying on the grass, one of them holding his crotch from Alexa's wicked kick, another nursing a black and swollen eye, while the one who had started the confrontation had two black eyes, caused by a very broken nose.

Aside from some mud on her pants, Alexa was otherwise fine, if hot under the collar.

In the security room was not only the pair of officers who had arrived on the scene, but the supervisor, and the president of the university, who had been called in to help deal with this. Alexa sat on one side of the room, while the three boys sat on the other, flanked by the two officers, just in case they tried to rush Alexa.

"So," the president said finally, having reviewed the available security camera footage, although it wasn't much help, admittedly, due to only having a partial angle. "Would anyone care to start things off?"

She looked at Alexa now. "Do you want Alex or either of the professors here?"

"I see no need to bother them," Alexa said, shrugging. "I was assaulted, I dealt with it."

"You assaulted us!" the boy with the broken nose said harshly, almost standing up, but kept in place by one of the guards. "You busted my goddamn nose!"

"It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't tried to take a swing at me," Alexa replied calmly. "If the definition of 'assault' is success, then maybe I did assault you first, seeing as how you failed so miserably at it."

The boy bristled, but the guard still held him in place.

"So it is your contention, Miss Blackwell, that he tried to hit you first, but you just happened to connect with your retaliation," the president reasoned, folding her arms while she leaned back against the office desk. "They absolutely tried to strike you first."

Alexa nodded.

"You can't prove that!" snarled the student with the broken nose.

"And you're saying that a girl randomly assaulted all three of you in the middle of campus, unprovoked," the president said flatly, looking directly at the boy. He stopped talking and just scowled at the floor. The president turned back toward Alexa. "It'd help if you told me what led to the exchange of blows."

Alexa nodded, looking directly at the three boys. "I was walking across the green, rehearsing a song, when they stopped in front of me. Athos here decided that I was entitled to his opinion about my character in light of my engagement to Alex. He said that he would never sleep with a girl like me, and I told him he never would. That revelation made him angry and he threw a punch that a third-grader would be ashamed of. I decked him, as you can see, and then Porthos and Aramis got in on it. They paid the price."

She now looked at the president. "I assume that a girl has the right to defend herself on campus, yes?"

The president nodded. "Of course, Miss Blackwell. You understand that I need to find a way to verify everything you've said about the incident. That is imperative."

Alexa nodded again. "Does it help that I recorded the entire thing?"

The president raised an eyebrow while the boys all looked suddenly uncertain. "How?"

"Remember I said I was rehearsing a song as I walked?" Alexa explained. "I was recording myself singing when the three stooges here stopped me. I'm pretty sure I captured everything that was said. Coincidence, really."

"I didn't consent to being recorded!" the student with the broken nose almost shouted, desperate for an out.

"And I didn't consent to being verbally accosted and then assaulted," Alexa said coolly. And with that, she pulled out her smartphone and found the recording. It was only audio, since she'd been recording to listen to herself, but once she had it, she pressed 'Play' and then turned on the speaker function.

The entire fiasco took less than two minutes of recording to encapsulate. Alexa just held the phone up for all to hear, the president and security officers listened impassively. The boys were all silent, turning shades of white and red with humiliation, anger, and fear.

"I will, of course, give you a copy immediately for the school records on the incident," Alexa offered, looking at the security supervisor. "I am sorry I was involved, although I don't know what else I could have done, aside from scream, and I shouldn't have to do that. Nobody would expect a male student to scream, after all."

"You're right, of course, Miss Blackwell," the president said, nodding. She was eager to wrap this up, since the university needed to be seen taking swift and decisive steps on matters of security on campus, and the safety of the students. She also didn't want Michael and Karen DeBourne, the two most influential professors and the dominant political force on campus, asking questions. "Do you intend to press charges?"

"What about us?!" protested the boy she'd kicked in the nuts. "We're the ones who got injured!"

"You don't poke a bear and then cry when it bites your face off, Mister Gartner," the president replied, scowling at him. "You three broke several rules and codes of the institution you attend, only one of which is assault. Simple verbal harassment, which we all heard clearly, is a serious matter."

She looked at Alexa again. "So, will you be pressing charges?"

Alexa considered, letting the boys sweat it out. "Could they be given the choice of formal, public charges, or leaving the university with a no-trespass order, effective immediately? They didn't manage to lay a finger on me, so I want them to feel like they contributed something to this sorry affair."

The president considered, looking at the boy with the black eye. "Mister Gorman's family is very litigious, always looking for someone to sue about something. If you indeed consent to allowing us to retain a copy of your recording of the incident for legal purposes, I'm sure they can be shut down."

"Oh, and they all have to make the same choice," Alexa added. "I'm not terribly interested in seeing any of them on campus."

"They're going to be expelled either way, once the governing body hears about this in an hour," the president said. "So they can either leave quietly, never to return, or they get expelled publicly and also go up on formal charges of harassment and assault. What's it going to be, boys?"

Fifteen minutes later, Alexa was walking down the corridor of the Sciences faculty, accompanied by a squad of friends as she headed for a certain office. They were thronged around her protectively, and she assured them she was all right, no harm done. Some of them had seen part of the incident, while others had only heard after the fact. No matter what, she was not getting away from her bodyguards.

She managed to dismiss them all once she had arrived at Karen's office, and gave a brief knock before stepping inside. The knock was a courtesy more than anything, since she, like Alex, had permission to come in. She walked through the door and was not at all surprised to see Mike sitting in the chair behind the huge, old wooden desk with her sister perched sideways in his lap. They both smiled at her.

"I hear you caused something of a ruckus earlier, Alli," Karen said with a smirk. "All is well, I assume?"

Alexa nodded as she came into the office and flumped down lazily into a chair nearby. "Yep, nothing I couldn't handle. Three more douchebags leaving this hallowed institution as of today."

"I'm sorry it happened, Alli, but you also handled it correctly," Mike said in his warm, assuring baritone voice everyone loved. "Good job."

Another knock and the door opened, admitting Alex into the office. He grinned at his aunt-wife. "There she is. I heard you were causing trouble."

"Oh you know me, always looking for drama instead of fun," Alexa replied, standing up and giving Alex a hug. She giggled as he picked her up off the floor and spun her around. "Kinda glad none of you were there for it, in fact."

"I must go and drop off some notes for Dr. Tharpe," Karen said, rising from her husband's lap. "He'll be covering for me for a day or two before the housewarming, so I want to make sure he's ready."

"I'll come with you," Mike said, rising to tower over everyone else in the office. "Heaven only knows where the countess got off to by now."

"Either the cafeteria, or a nearby campus bar," Karen quipped, making her husband chuckle before she looked at her son and younger sister. "Just make sure the door is locked when you leave."

And then the older pair were gone. Alex led Alexa over to a small chesterfield on the other side of the room and sat her down, taking her hands in his and smiling. "So how're you really doing?"

She looked up at him and spoke quietly. "May I be honest?"

He nodded.

"I'm really done with this bullshit, Alex," she almost whispered, but there was a blazing fury deep in her sapphire eyes that was very unsettling if one didn't know her. "If I could, I would rout every one of these people out of the university and have them live in misery forever."

He nodded. "I get it. And we're working on it. It won't be overnight, but it will happen, Alexa. In the meantime, I won't blink if you find ways to vent your anger about it on them. We can make it look like they're somehow on the offensive and going overboard, and then you get to defend yourself. If that helps, I'm all for it."

She smiled. "I don't think Kar and Mike'd quite approve, but I doubt they'd stop me, either."

"It's our fight, not theirs," Alex said, squeezing her hands. "And the bad guys are no match for us. I'm glad mom and dad are on our side, but they're moral support and a resource, that's all. This is on us."

"You had this all thought through and knew what to do from the get-go, didn't you?" Alexa sighed, looking at him dreamily, her eyes having lost their anger.

He shrugged. "Well, at least since the Christmas concert when I outed us, I guess. That's when I knew for sure I was starting a war."

Alexa nodded. "I promise to not lose my temper and mess things up."

He reached up and stroked her hair before caressing her cheek. She closed her eyes and kissed his hand lovingly. "Always defend yourself, Alexa. Drive them crazy, just never give them ammo. We've got this."

They put their arms around one another and began kissing deeply, the world around them forgotten.

***

Somewhere on campus, Monday, April, 1987...

"I still don't get how you fell for that, Heyman," Janet laughed as they all walked across the green. "I mean, you're Jewish, shouldn't you know these things?"

"Gimme a break, willya?" Lisa complained, blushing nearly the colour of her hair. Her so-called friends were not letting this one go, apparently. "I'm an agnostic Jew, borderline atheist, I can't know everything about my people's faith."

"C'mon, Li, you got totally had," Mona needled, snickering as she nudged the redhead with her shoulder. "I mean, if you wanna blame DeBourne because you believe everything he says, that's one thing, because we'd get that. But twice, in two days?"

"So what if I don't know all the holidays of Judaism?" Lisa snapped, trying to not sound defensive and failing. "I'm not a freaking rabbi."

"Lisa, darling, you went into a panic when he asked if you'd remembered to call your mother on the holiday of High Colonic," Karen pointed out. "And I have never seen you run so fast in my life as when you sped out of our room to go and use the dorm phone and call her."

Lisa scowled at the pavment under their feet as she trumped along with them. Janet and Mona were still giggling as they walked beside her.

"So what did mommy dearest say when you called her and wished her a happy High Colonic?" Janet asked, her voice almost trembling with mirth in anticipation of the answer.

It was several seconds before Lisa answered, her voice very sullen. "She said this friend of mine who tricked me made a better Jew than I did..."

She stopped walking and folded her arms, scowling petulantly at the ground while her friends all burst into laughter. Janet flopped down onto a bench, trying to control her diaphragm, while Mona leaned against it, wheezing and holding her throat. Even Karen was covering her mouth with her fingers, tittering behind them prettily, her golden eyes glittering with humour. People walking by looked at them, but knew better than to ask.

"You guys're such jerks," she groused, kicking a pebble with her toe. "No more homemade blintzes for you." Lisa couldn't make a blintz to save her life; if she was sharing them with her friends, she probably got them at a deli down the road from campus. And they were probably dairy-free, so not a big hit in any event.

"Don't feel so bad, Li," Janet gasped, tears on her cheeks now as she fanned her face. "If DeBourne'd mentioned High Colonic to me, I would've thought it was a type of Greek architecture."

The three women dissolved into peals of laughter again, and Lisa stood there with her arms folded, hoping she looked thoroughly beshat upon. She had the patience of Lot's wife, she was sure of it.

Lot's wife? Wait, no, that didn't sound right. Whatever.

"I dunno what the big deal is," she grumped. "I mean, he always sounds so genuine when he says anything. Y'mean to tell me you guys've never fallen for one of his pranks?"

"Not twice in two days," Mona replied, wiping a tear from her eye. "I'm more of a once-a-month kinda girl."

"'bout the same here," Janet agreed. "And now I've trained myself to always consider what he's saying first, before acting on it. It's actually pretty good training for not getting led around by the nose in the courtroom."

"And I think I've finally got a better grasp on animation than him," Mona added. "I'm at the place where I can school him about a few things. And now-"

"Not interrupting, am I?" someone asked. They all turned and looked at the newcomer. She was a thin girl, about their age, with frizzy platinum hair and rather angular features. She was wearing jeans and a simple black leather jacket over a shirt. A clipboard was clasped in her hands.

"Karen Gordon," the tall beauty said, nodding to the newcomer. "And what might your name be?"