Mike and Sarah Pt. 03

"I guess that's sweet and important. Have you ever done that?"

"Multiple times, most recently last year when my aunt died. It's not nice but it does feel good to be part of this big family machine saying goodbye. The only funeral I've ever missed is my Grandma's on that side of the family, it was my first year at University, and it was in the middle of exams. There just wasn't enough time to get everything sorted with extensions and things as well as making flight arrangements to make it back in time" I replied with a tinge of regret in my voice.

"That's sad. I hope you take me to visit when you next go back." She said in a brighter tone.

"That's complicated and there's a lot to talk about before that can happen," I replied.

"Mike, I love you and it's clearly a huge part of you so what could complicate it?"

"Sarah, if I took you, my mother's family would treat it as me declaring our engagement and that comes with its own expectations."

Sarah burst out laughing, "It's so cute how you think that would slow me down. I'd go with you next week if possible. What expectations?"

"Why don't you wait till we're at dinner with Dad? You can ask him about them, it'll give him a kick to see you make me nervous," I replied laughing as well

"Aww my love, does the idea of us getting engaged make you nervous?" She asked me with a cheeky grin on her face.

"Not until I saw the spark in your eyes at the idea."

Her face softened, "Mike, I know you aren't ready to propose and I can't honestly say I am ready for you to, even if I think about it. The spark is because I know we're both working towards it. I love you. Now get the bags we should be arriving in the next 5 minutes."

Arriving at Marylebone Station, Sarah was a hive of activity, researching all the possible routes on the Tube to the hotel. When I suggested we just get an Uber since my dad was going to reimburse me for our travel she was adamant.

"No Mike, I've never done London properly, every time I've been here has been with a purpose or for school. Let's do London like Londoners. You spend enough time here, I trust you."

Just before getting on the Tube, I sent Dad a text to let him know we'd arrived in London and would be checking into the hotel in about 30 minutes. He simply replied to say he was tired from his overnight flight and would meet us in the pub around the corner in two and a half hours and we could think about dinner from there. I innocently relayed the message and we made our way to the hotel.

At the hotel, Sarah was silent while I checked us in. In our room, after I've tipped the bellboy, and put our bags in the wardrobe I saw her looking around, curious I looked at her, "Babe what's up?"

"Mike it's too much. When you said your dad was paying through work I thought we'd be in a Premier Inn or something now we've got this massive room with a king bed. I feel guilty not paying," she answered honestly.

"Sarah, Dad is the director of his department, and that comes with perks. He's not wealthy by any means once you work out the exchange rate, but it comes with perks. As one of the few foreigners still employed by the Botswana Government, he's allowed to book a room for family in his home country at their business rate if he pays for it. This hotel is the preferred hotel for government employees while in London and because it's a government rate, I doubt he's paying any more for this than if we booked a Premier Inn."

"Mike, are you sure you're not lying just to make me feel better?"

"Sarah, if I'm lying then Dad has been lying to me for years, which given our past I can't rule out, but I've never thought about it. I'm not worried about it," I replied as I made my way across the room to take her into my arms.

Feeling her relax and soften into me I kiss her passionately and she responds instantly. My hands are making my way down her back as I pull her into me. I've just made contact with her arse and moved to lift her into me when she pushes me away.

"No Mike. I want you too and hotel sex is hot, but I'm not fucking you before I meet your Dad for the first time. I need to get ready. Plus we have later, tomorrow morning, tomorrow night, and Sunday morning."

"Sunday morning? You want to be intimate before we check out and head to Mum's but we can't now because you're about to meet my Dad," I asked her with a smile.

"Now you mention it Arsehole, Sunday morning is off, you better make sure you use tonight, and tomorrow to make sure I get my fill till we get back to Oxford," she replied with an equal smile.

"I'll do my best. What do you need to get ready for? We're just meeting Dad at the pub before getting a pizza or something. Just be you, nice and casual."

"I love that you don't even remember the effort I put into looking hot casual when we first met just for you. I'm not going for hot, but I'm still going to put in the effort to look good and make a good impression. Give me an hour and we might get a drink in before he joins us."

I gave her a big laugh as she got into the shower. I didn't tell her but I knew Dad would be in the pub before us so he could feel an element of control. I did the same thing.

After I finished my shower, I was just getting dressed when my phone went off. It was Dad,

Dad: In the 'Friend at Hand', tab number 6. See you soon.

Sarah gave me a quizzical look as I laughed at the message.

"What's up, Babe?"

"Nothing, just an update from Dad."

Walking into the pub 20 minutes later, I instantly clock my father sitting in the corner reading a magazine. Instead of leading Sarah straight over to introduce them, I took her to the bar. After ordering our drinks, I gave the bartender the tab number and my Dad's name. Sarah gave me another look.

"Babe what was that, your Dad isn't here you can't just start a tab in his name."

Laughing at her again I pointed Dad out in the corner. Before she could complain I explained that Dad would want to feel in control and had only asked for extra time so he could get here first.

After briefly looking over at him, she looked at me again and then laughed at me. "You really are his son."

Ignoring her comment I led her over, and without greeting him I went straight to introductions, "Sarah, this is my Dad, William. Dad, this is Sarah, my girlfriend."

Sarah gave me a shocked look before turning to Dad, "It's nice to meet you, Mr Smith. Mike has told me so much about you."

Dad gave Sarah a gracious smile, "It's lovely to meet you too Sarah, though no Mr Smith nonsense, Mike introduced me as William so let's stick to that. It's great Mike has told you about me though I know nothing about you," He replied charismatically before turning to me.

We had our usual awkward greeting somewhere between a bro-hug and a father-son hug. He gave me a brief examination before turning his attention back to Sarah.

"So Sarah, we have about an hour before our reservation at the Italian around the corner. Tell me about the woman that my son would rather be with over a free weekend in London?"

My temper flared and Sarah instantly got uncomfortable "Mr... William that reminds me I need to thank you for paying for our travel and accommodation. It's very kind of you."

Dad gave me a brief look and recognised that his weekend was about to fall apart and was quickly apologetic. "Sarah my dear, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just have an awkward humour in new situations. It's just normally when I pass through the country Mike is happy to spend a weekend here in London with me or when possible I come to Oxford. I'm sure he told you that he refused to come without you. My brother and sister-in-law have only met you once but hold you in high regard. I just want to know a bit more about you."

Sarah gave me a look and I nodded, "I'm sorry William, I'm just nervous and with what Mike has told me about your relationship I didn't see the joke."

"That's alright Sarah, and if I knew Mike had spoken to you about our relationship I would never have made the joke. But now I'm even more curious about you if Mike is willing to talk to you about our relationship," Dad replied kindly.

"William, unless Mike agrees I won't talk about what he's said in private. But know this I love him, he makes me feel happy, safe and wanted. All I want is to be able to do the same for him."

Dad smiled at me before responding, "Young lady you and I are going to get on just fine. My son won't say it, he has too much of me in him to admit it, but the sheer fact you're here is enough for me to tell you that you do exactly that for him. I guess you know we have a difficult relationship, the majority of that is my fault. The rest is the fact we're so similar, you've met Karen so I'm sure she explained that part to you. It's one of her favourite topics."

Sarah laughed, "Karen and I have had multiple conversations on the failures of the Smith men. Mike doesn't know this but we text at least twice a week."

Dad laughed again, "When you meet her don't tell my wife that, she's only on one text a month terms and we've been married 13 years."

Sarah got a serious look, "William I don't mean to be rude, but apart from maintaining a respectful relationship at Mike's request, I don't care what your wife thinks."

Surprise flashed over Dad's face, he gave me a look and seeing no support, his voice lost some strength, "You do love my son, don't you? I won't ask you to give her a chance because I know Mike's feelings there and I respect them even if I wish differently. I do appreciate that you're prepared to be respectful." Dad gave his watch a quick look before excusing himself to get us another round.

Sarah looked at me sadly, "Mike I'm sorry."

Looking at her kindly I smiled back, "Shh let Dad get back with the drinks, we'll go for a cigarette and you can tell me about it."

A few minutes later Sarah had smoked most of a cigarette before she spoke, "Mike, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say it, I just know you don't like her, and when your dad made that joke I just had a flash of the stories of your Dad making you accommodate her and before I could stop myself I said it."

I gave Sarah a sympathetic look, "Babe, believe it or not, I think you impressed him. I'm not fussed about it, it won't bother me and he knows that. If you want to say sorry tell him but I'm sure he won't care."

Sarah looks at me again before putting the cigarette out and leading us back in. In our corner, she began her apology, "William I'm sorry for what I said about your wife, I haven't met her and shouldn't have said it."

"Sarah dear, all I heard was the voice of someone who loves my son enough to protect him from anything including me. You have nothing to apologise for, in fact, I'm happy he has you, you never have to apologise to me for prioritising my son. I don't know how much he's told you, but you remind me of another person he loved as a teenager but I think you might be a little scarier."

Sarah got a bright smile, "Oh you mean Helen, I never want to meet her, but I'm glad Mike had someone to love and look after him until I could find him."

Dad looked at me in surprise, and I just shrugged my shoulders. Trying to change the subject Dad turned his attention to me, "Mike you're being particularly quiet, come on and join the conversation."

"Why Dad? This whole evening is for you 2 to get to know each other. If it was just me we would have caught up in 20 minutes and you'd already be back in your magazines. I don't mind because that's our relationship, but Sarah wants to know more about me, so this is her chance to learn from you and ask whatever she wants. I'll intervene when necessary."

Dad gave Sarah a conspiratorial look, "Well that's us told, come on drink up, we'll grab a pizza and you can ask whatever you like, if you aren't done we can continue in the hotel bar."

On the walk over to the restaurant, Sarah fell back slightly and grabbed my hand, "Mike, are you sure?"

"Love, ask him whatever you want. As I told Dad, I'll intervene as needed but I don't want you to leave this weekend with more questions about us except those that are only for me to answer."

It turned out that Sarah only had two big questions and many smaller questions. The first bottle of wine arrived when she started, "William, since you have married two women from Botswana can you tell me a little bit about how difficult it is to be in a mixed-race relationship?"

Dad was surprised but I refused to catch his eye when he looked at me for support.

"Sarah, why do you ask?" he said kindly.

"A few weeks ago Mike met my Mum for the first time. She suggested that because Mike is mixed not everyone will accept our relationship and to prepare myself. I was going to rely on Mike for advice but then he invited me on this weekend so I decided to ask you too. Just so you know, I got really angry at my Mum and moved in with Mike for a week until she realised that I didn't care and I'd pick him. I just want to know the experience of someone who's lived it."

"Sarah, our experiences won't be comparable but I'll do my best. The first big difference you have to understand is that you're a woman and I'm a man and the expectations are very different. I'm just going to guess that one of the things your mum told you is that my son is what they expected for you?"

Surprised Sarah nodded, before Dad continued.

"Yeah, it's sexist. There are thousands of years of history of men travelling the world and diluting their 'bloodline' with no consequence but the second women try the same thing it's wrong. But as far as my family was concerned, I was 24 when I left for Botswana and I came back when I was 26 with a Wife and a 5-year-old step-daughter. I didn't tell my parents until 8 weeks before I got married, that was only to give Edward enough time to fly out and be my best man. Thankfully my favourite cousin and 2 best friends from University came as well. We were the first generation that didn't care about it. But it was a difficult time in Botswana. Next door is South Africa and at the time Apartheid was still ongoing. Had I met Mike's Mum 40 miles East our relationship and marriage would have been illegal. I was part of the generation that grew up protesting Apartheid. Did my parents understand? No, did I give them a choice, also no. My mum was too kind a person to not show a 5-year-old love, and by the time Mike came around, we were all one big family."

"Okay but why does it still exist now?" Sarah asked.

"I'm getting there. It doesn't really exist now except in small minorities. Especially in places like London or Oxford which are fairly educated and integrated. But you need to know your Mike-specific problem. Mike won't admit but he's experienced more racism in Botswana than he has in England and Botswana is over 75% Black. Mixed-race people have always got it the worst. Look at Barack Obama, he's mixed-race, met his Kenyan dad maybe once in his life, raised by his White family his entire life, but the second he rose to prominence he became Black because in America you can't be both. Historically that's to do with slavery and the fact that the White father would refuse to acknowledge his children so by default they were Black and slaves. South Africa under Apartheid was worse. Black women with mixed-race children were imprisoned because their children were proof of the crime. So the Mixed community in South Africa became their own race, Coloureds. So you have someone like my son who refuses to be anything but Mixed and therefore is considered ungrateful by the Black and Coloured communities because he won't identify as either, but he's not white enough to find refuge. He's not Coloured because by now that race is multiple generations old and he's first generation so he doesn't feel like he fits there. He's always been good at drifting and finding friends everywhere but he's never found his place. You're going to get it the worst, because in England historically we've had the same view as the Americans, if you're half Black then you are Black, not Mixed. So you're going to have to deal with the history of being expected to marry the person who looks like what your family expected for you. Then you're going to have to protect Mike against his feelings of rejection because he won't accept anything less than the fact he deserves a seat in both rooms."

Sarah gave my Dad a look of understanding, "William, can we get another bottle of wine? I have one more question before we head back to the hotel bar."

"Sarah, if this is the topic of conversation we're going to have another bottle at the hotel as well and an Irish coffee go ahead."

Sarah waved down the server to order more wine, before continuing, "William, earlier I joked with Mike about him taking me to Botswana but he closed down and said it was complicated. He said if he took me to visit his family over there it would be effectively announcing our engagement and the expectations that follow without mentioning them. It's more than that isn't it."

Dad didn't even bother to look at me this time before answering, "There is more to it and a lot of it has to do with Mike being Mixed. Mike has a difficult relationship with his Mum's family. His family are in a weird place of being important to the community but has no real power. As such as one of the sons in the family Mike is expected to always be present and live according to their rules. He's his mother's only son so publicly he is expected to be visible at major family events but because he is mixed he is never included in the business of the family, it's especially hard because he has been excluded from things that directly affect him and the result has always gone in favour of his sister or cousins. They make no excuses about the fact it is because he's mixed and what I have provided for him that makes him a lesser priority. He's never asked them for anything he just wants to be in the room."

Before he could continue I interrupted angrily, "Dad how do you know all this? I never talk to you about our business."

Giving me a sympathetic look, "You may never talk to me, but your uncle does. He wants to be on your side but tradition comes first. Plus when you disagree, your hothead comes out and you know your elders won't back down to a temper. To them, obedience and respect come before everything else you know that. Anyway, the complications are that Mike has cultural obligations which I can't tell you about because they aren't my place until Mike says otherwise. Then there's the fact that Mike doesn't feel fully respected by his family, but he loves Botswana and the culture too much to let go of it. If you want to visit you need to understand this. Botswana isn't just half of Mike's heritage, it's half of his identity. In the 10 years since he moved, he hasn't spent more than 18 months without coming back. In our emails he still calls it home, there was a time when he'd come back 3 times a year. He once did an 8-week charity trip that I didn't even know about until he'd finished and was back in England. Normally he comes for 2 weeks, and if I see him for more than 5 days during that time I consider it a win. He goes off on road trips, exploring the country, camping, and visiting remote rural villages. Botswana is essential to his being. That's the complication of Botswana."

Sarah gave me an invasive look, before looking back at Dad, "William, thank you. Having heard your detailed description I feel much better. Aside from a few cultural things to marry the man I love, the biggest thing I have to worry about is Mike's self-sabotaging, I'll never let him do that again and he loves me too much to try. I can't wait for our first trip. " Leaving us both speechless she gave me a deep passionate kiss.

When she broke the kiss both Dad and I were blushing at her public display of affection, looking at the table and realised our food was gone and the wine was finished, she looked at me, "Come on Mike, pay the bill, Dad said something about more wine at the hotel and Irish coffee."