All Comments on 'Millie Ch. 01'

You have your characters established but this piece of fiction will require a more delicate hand than you have shown so far. A slow and steady seduction is a balance of conversations and actions with in your story. That paragraph in which the son tells his mother he needs for her to be a slut in his bed and maintain a calm librarian appearance in public is simply not a believable conversation at that point in there combined love life.

So far i think you have done a fine job , although you seem to be stretching it out to far for my liking ( but that,s my personal choice ) , hopefully in the next chapter you will move it on at a faster pace , many thanks for you efforts i am looking forward to the next installment ,

You are taking too long to build a story. After 3 pages, not even enough to get a hard on.

I like the setting created and most of the build-up, but I agree with an earlier comment about the dialogue. The comments the son makes about what he wants in a woman don't strike me as those of a magazine-sex-educated 18 year old. They seem a bit jaded and precocious, especially given how well you lay out his awkwardness and embarrassment in other areas. Was it your intent to have the conversation and then hold off on the consummation to create a little tension in the plot? For me, it was jarring and didn't quite fit with the atmosphere and mood which you had established so well up to that point. Still, it's a promising start. Looking forward to how you handle the rest going forward. Please don't pay too much attention to those who failed to splooge their keyboards within the first 2 pages.

I like a slow build-up to a storyline and enough information to build the characters on, and I think that has been accomplished.

I'll be watching for the continuation of this story

Thanks for the read...

needed too start fucking

I only read the first paragraph, that was torturous enough. The few words I read were confusing, disjointed [trippy]. Only the second line reads,...'and as were most sailors her was thirsty for life' - WTF is that supposed to mean. If the story continued in the vein of the first hundred words, then its cack. Life's too short, I'm moving on.

Really love your skilled story telling .. makes me feel like I’m right there with you. The used car really added realism for me as well .. I can tell you are not making this up .. and glad you are sharing the process which really brings life to your whole tale. My 1st car was a Fairlane 500 XL. Not many of them around anymore or I would by one. It was a light metallic blue with black interior that I purchased for $850. My dad loaned me the cash and I paid him back in $50 a week installments from my job. The car had 8bucket seat and a chrome shifter but was an automatic. It had a 390 cuin displacement. I always got a lot of looks when I drove. I definitely would have loved to give your mom a ride too. Looking forward to enjoying the rest of your story!

Talk about beating a dead horse... What the mother, DOESN'T WANT, is a wishy washy lover.

How many signals does she need to give???

Get on with it... The wet spot in the new car should have been enough....

I skipped over paragraphs. and wishy washy paragraphs.

I like the author's style of writing style and his character development. The mental development and thought process of the son toward his mother is psychologically correct and logically processed. The son's self-awareness and self-confidence is accurately reflected for a 18 year old male during the respective time period. The mother actually sees her son as a young man and wants him to start making some of the decisions affecting their lives. I find it refreshing that the son acknoweldges that he recognizes what knows and does not know, e.g. his current limitations in the ways of life, to include sex. 5 star story,