Mine

My fingers slide effortlessly into her pussy and I rub her warm juices around her wanting clit. She jumps up at the contact but continues to move her hips against me. I rub at a quick pace feeling her legs tighten around me. Her breathing stops and I bring up a hand to cover her mouth as her orgasmic screams take a hold of her. She traps my hand between her legs and I watch her face as it contorts from furrowed eyebrows and tight lips to a slack mouth and serene look. I kiss her lips when she releases my hand and she smiles.

"Thank you, I needed that." She's breathless.

She jumps off my lap and runs out of the room before I can say anything in return.

Instead of feeling the same adrenaline I felt when I first saw her, something else settles on my chest.

******

My hair is no longer in a bun. I took it down and used my sunglasses to hold it back. The dark maroon lipstick is no longer smeared all over my lips, I managed to rush to the restroom and fix my look before meeting with James.

We both agreed that this would be the last interview since it is going to be an hour long and by then I'll have pretty much all I needed to finish my piece. I get to ask all of the questions I prepared and he does a better job of keeping his answers short. He's looking down at his hands, deep in thought as I am putting my notepad and recorder away. He pulls out the cups and the liquor again and sets one down in front of me.

"I have a proposition."

This can't be good.

I don't like being around James when I have to tell white lies. He's not a bad person. He actually seems like a caring human being. It doesn't sit well with me that I can't be completely honest with him. I thought with this last interview we would both part ways, he would call when the article came out, and then we would never speak again. I also don't want any reason for my path to cross with his or Henry's again.

The liquor burns down my throat and settles in my stomach. I should have eaten before coming.

"I've read some of your work."

That is surprising. Or maybe it shouldn't be. Even though we were not the trendiest magazine out there we do keep up with a lot of up and coming individuals.

"I'm impressed."

I don't know why but that makes me feel validated. I haven't been proud of my work lately. It feels almost repetitive at this point. "Thank you."

I take another sip of my drink.

"I have connections you know. To other places where you voice can be heard by a bigger audience."

The drink is really burning on its journey down. I clear my throat. "Thank you, James. But I am actually already looking into another company at the moment." This is half true. I did find another magazine that focuses more on those giving back to their local communities than those hoarding their money for themselves.

"Have I heard of them?" He leans back against his chair and his eyebrows pull in together. If he really thought I would jump up at the opportunity to have him boost me into the next level of my career he doesn't really know me at all. I don't want anything from James. That's also not completely true. He does have one thing I want.

"I don't want to jinx it," I don't want his influence to tip the scale this way or that. He may like me now but if he ever found out what I was doing to his daughter he could ruin my life in a heartbeat. He has that kind of money.

He sucks his teeth and raises his eyebrows. His cup comes up to his lips but he doesn't drink.

"Well, if it doesn't go well just know I've talked to some people. Henry's aunt, Kathleen- you remember her from the party- has also read some of your writing."

That's too much of a coincidence. I understand why James would want to read some of my previous articles since I am writing one about him but why would it get to Kathleen? I don't like this.

"Paige has talked to her about how talented you are."

There it is. I sigh, internally. Paige needs to stop. "I'm really okay James. It wouldn't feel right to take advantage of our relationship." It wouldn't feel right to have Kathleen give me a hand while I'm possibly ruining her nephew's marriage. In an alternate universe I would reach out to Kathleen and see if she could be a mentor to me. There is no possibility that it can happen now.

I look down at my watch and finish my drink. I made plans to meet up with Renee. After Paige basically used me to get off, I asked Renee to lend a listening ear. She was probably heading to the bar now.

"I want you to write a spread for my daughter and her fiancé."

My nails dig into my palm. My eyes widen. Not what I was expecting his next words to be. "I would be honored. But you know our magazine doesn't really do the whole proposal announcements. Now if your future son in law cured cancer, then I would be more than happy to interview him." I start rambling. I can't stop talking. I go on to give other examples of the type of work we would feature and he finally puts his hand up to stop me.

"I know. This is mostly so for me. Like I said. I like your style of writing. I want you to interview them both. Ask them how they met, how their love has blossomed, how their wedding planning is going, all of that and then write as much as you want about it. I want to give it to Paigey on her wedding day as a gift."

I can only hear my heartbeat, pulsating weakly in the distance. Be with them. During their whole journey? Watch as they pull this wedding together and count down to the dreadful day where she becomes someone else's? I would rather die the slowest painful death that has ever been known to man than to subject myself to that kind of torture.

"I don't think I'm the right person for the job. And what kind of surprise would it be if I'm there the whole time snooping around interviewing them?"

His hands shove my excuses aside. "They know what you're doing, the finished product will be the surprise. Of course, I can get that nice young lady to take pictures of them like she did with me." Renee would shit herself if she was brought into this. She lives for this type of drama. "And then I would make sure you were paid very well for your services. I can even reach out to your boss and ask him to give you a couple days off a month so you can focus on this. I'm sure a nice donation for new office supplies or, Hell, even a new office will make him reconsider."

The walls are closing in on me. His words are a train full of expensive cargo heading towards me and I can't move an inch of my body. How can I refuse without sounding like it is for my personal sanity that I cannot take the job?

"I'll let you think about it." He stands and I do as well. "But just to let you know, Paige loved the idea."

My handshake is limp compared to his.

******

My computer screen is the only light in my room. That and the moonlight coming in from the shutters. It's been a week since I've talked to James. His email is open on my screen and I can't stop staring at it. I'm in bed, wearing some old sweats and a t-shirt, tapping my finger against the space key. The figures on my screen are not made up. He is willing to pay a very generous amount for my service. Enough to allow me to stop working for a couple of months if I wanted to.

My hand reaches for the phone next to me.

I ignore Paige's texts. The first couple of days she texted a couple of times a day but I always made some excuse about work and not being able to talk. She's less insistent now but still there nonetheless. She really thinks it is a good idea that I interview her and her future husband about their wedding, and the cake, and their first date, and their undying love? What kind of a psychopath would wish that on anyone? Or does she really have no idea that I want her for more than just sex?

I've never said it to her, how much I really want her. I've only just admitted it to myself but that is because I was forced to. But what did I really think was going to happen between us? I made fun of Paige for being so naive about starting an affair with me when nothing could come of it and yet I bought into it. I got front row seats to the biggest mistake of my life.

My finger double taps my phone screen and I search for Lana's number.

It's almost ten PM. Maybe she's sleeping. Well if she is, then I can leave a voice message. I just want to hear her voice. Lana is a sweetheart. I don't know why she would ever want to be friends with someone as crude as me in high school but I'm glad we were close. Unlike Renee, Lana doesn't find every fucked-up situation I put myself in as a story just for her entertainment. That's not fair to Renee. She would probably take it more seriously if I let her know how much it is really affecting me. Last time we met I brushed it all off and even joked about being a masochist and wanting to take the deal James gave me just to have some money to blow. I didn't let on that it would ruin my spirit irrevocably.

She picks up on the second ring. "Hey, you. Long time not talk." Her accent is thick, her tone soothing.

"Hi." I remove the laptop from my thighs and walk to the foot of my bed. "Are you getting ready for bed?" I can imagine Lana lying in bed, in her nightgown with her brown hair up in pins. Her husband is probably rubbing her feet after a long day. That doesn't sound so silly on nights like this.

She snorts. "With three boys? I'll be lucky if I'm in bed by midnight."

"How are the boys?"

"Raising Hell, you know, doing boy things."

The line is silent. My eyes keep going to the computer screen.

"Your aunt Sally was asking about you last week. She says you don't call her that often."

I stomp down on my guilt. By the end of this conversation I'll be drowning in it. "I'll have to give her a call tomorrow."

"What is it, honey?"

My hands are trembling. "I just wanted to hear your voice, is all. Any time I do I feel grounded in a weird sense."

"Well you know I'm always here if you want to talk."

My foot taps against my plush carpet. "I do have a situation." I feel like I'm in confession. Lana is fiercely loyal to me but she'll let me have it if she doesn't agree with what I do.

"I thought you might." She whispers to her husband and I hear her move. "Spit it out, Taylor Lee. Jamie will only give me a few minutes alone before he gets grumpy and takes me to bed."

"I met this girl. We've been seeing each other, but she's engaged."

"My Lord, you sure know how to keep me on my toes."

I tell her everything from beginning to end. I've walked so much and walked around the studio so much I'm sure I'm digging into the apartment below me. I wouldn't be surprised if I fell through right now.

"Please say something." I'm resting my head against the cool wall.

"Well you know I don't approve of your player ways. And I definitely do not approve of you sleeping with a taken woman."

"I know." I lift my head.

"And have you really been having nightmares about your parents again?"

"Just of that specific night now." I sit on my bed.

She sighs into the phone. "Well, you know you can call me when you wake up from that. I know how hard it was for you to get over that." She sounds tired. "I don't care what time of the night it is. I'll answer."

The fact that she is not mentioning Paige is making my nerves go haywire. "So, what should I do?"

"Seems like she is different from the rest. No one has made you think about your parents."

"Yeah." I'm not happy about it.

"You do know if you take the assignment, you're only going to feel more hurt after."

"I know."

"And the more time you spend with her the more attached you will get. It's almost like Draya all over again." Draya who took my virginity and ran off to college with it. I wonder what became of her. All I know if she was the first girl to hurt me and the last.

"But," My heart stops beating when she continues. "She doesn't seem to want to marry the rich fella. And if she likes you enough you might have enough reason to ask her to pick you."

Pick me? Is that even an option? "I'm not rich, I don't have any connections. And she has never said anything about calling off the engagement."

"Well have you asked her to?" She laughs at my silence. "Now why would that little girl jump off the ledge if she doesn't know you'll be there to catch her? And who cares about all the money if you're dead inside?"

This is not how I expected this conversation to go. I expected Lana to walk me through how I could reject James' offer. How I could get over Paige and move on with my life. Why is she encouraging this?

"But what if she doesn't choose me?"

"What if she does? You have to let her know you are an option. The harder you fight the more you'll gain at the end." She yawns, "Now I do have to get ready for bed. Long day tomorrow. Call me if you want to talk again. I miss you, Lee."

"I miss you too, Lana."

******

We're in the breakroom about to finish lunch.

Renee and the intern are arguing about some T.V. show they both saw last night and I don't care enough to keep up. Renee is doing another amazing job of taking the new girl under her wing. She seems to like the attention she gets from Renee too. My phone vibrates and I see Paige's name. She's texting me again.

'Can I please see you tonight?'

This is the first time she is straight forward with what she wants. All of these 'hello stranger' and 'what are you up to' texts are becoming repetitive but it isn't her fault. It's been almost two weeks now since I have seen her. I already emailed James and told him I would take on the assignment. True to his word he reached out to Tommie, donated some dough, and now I get off once or twice a month to solely focus on this project. With this time, I intend to make Paige fall for me and eventually choose me.

All the nagging thoughts and doubts always course through my veins when I imagine all the wrong ways this can go but Lana is right. If I do get her, the payoff will be the best reward. If it was too easy, I wouldn't appreciate it as much. So now I had to plot. Should I make Paige wait until our first meeting to see her or give her a taste of what she can have now?

'Your place or mine?' I give in. She asked so directly, she should get rewarded.

'Yours.' The response is immediate.

"That is your shit eating grin. What did you just do?" Renee points a finger at me.

The intern laughs but starts to clean up around her area. I pick up my trash and zip my lips. I won't come clean to Renee until the plan has been put into motion.

******

My studio is clean.

She asks to meet earlier than I expect so I wasted no time. As soon as I got home, I scrubbed everything down from top to bottom. I set out some candles to help the place smell as well as it looked. The lights are low and the mood is set. I hop out of the shower and throw on some skimpy black lingerie. My silky, red, wine colored robe drapes my body the way I want it to. I touch up my make up in the bathroom, matching my lips to the color of the robe. Light blush, smoky eyeshadow. My hair is up in a messy bun. I spray some perfume on my neck. I clean the bathroom sink of any makeup powder and turn off the lights as I step out. One last scan around my place and I sigh in relief. Everything is as it should be.

There is a knock on my door. My breathing ceases when I open it.

Paige is standing there, looking adorable in a flowy, baby blue skirt, white flats, and a white blouse. Her hair is parted down the middle. There is a blue pin on each side of her hair, pushing it out of her face. Her hands are hanging on to the thin strap of her nude purse. Her knuckles tighten when my eyes land on her face. Her eyes are glued to mine and I try not to look as affected as I feel. Moving aside I motion for her to come in.

Once inside, she removes her shoes and tosses her purse on the ground. The room is dark, the lights from the candles doing wonders to the ambiance. She turns to me, her intentions clear. She wants to pounce.

I hold up a finger and raise an eyebrow. "You will do as I say."

She stops herself from coming towards me and I notice her fingers reaching for me. "I just want to-"

"Shh." I move closer to her and pull the pins out of her hair. She looks too put together. Robotic almost. Like she's not really human. There isn't one hair out of place. "No talking unless I tell you to."

She licks her pouty lips, I see her hunger. I can feel it oozing from her pores. Has our time apart felt as long to her as it did to me? Maybe her reasons for missing me are different. I don't let that depressing thought bother me for too long. Tonight is about making her feel good.

"Lay on my bed." I motion with my head. I give her one of my charming smiles and she sucks in a breath.

I can see the hesitation in her eyes. Normally I would find this tedious, having to repeat myself, showing her what I want, but not tonight. I am also learning to have patience with Paige. With enough trust we can have what we both want.

She finally walks across the room and lays on my bed. The purple sheets on them sink down as she scoots to the middle of it. She looks really small on her own. My first instinct is to cover her body with mine but I hold off. I need to be patient with myself as well. I have a plan.

I sit on the black chair that came with my study desk. Positioning it right across from the bed, she watches as I make myself comfortable. I normally use this chair to do some work from home and agonize over unfinished assignments but tonight it will be used for more interesting things. We both sit across from one another tasting the sexual tension in the air.

"Take your shirt off." I cross my legs and watch her dainty fingers fumble with the buttons. Her bare breasts don't catch me off guard this time. By now I've learned Paige does not like to wear underwear. I expect to see her puffy caramel nipples. Except they're slowly becoming erect with the cool air from my open windows. "Push your hair back, away from your chest."

She gracefully brings both hands up on each side of her neck and pushes her glossy hair back. The movement causes her breasts to move in a hypnotizing way. They continue to rise and fall with her short breaths. My mouth waters. She brings her hands down to her lap and waits for my instructions.

I gaze at her through hooded lids. She is breathtaking. Her ribs are visible, her breasts sit proudly on her unblemished chest. Her tummy sinks in and my eyes trail down her legs. Her skirt is bunched around her hips. One wrong, or right move, and I'll be greeted with a lovely sight. She shifts and fidgets and I have to look up at her face. She wants to say something.

"Yes?"

Her normally defiant, blue eyes are docile but I'm not fooled. One slip on my end and she'll be in control. It is cute to see her hesitation though. She looks shy.

"I want to be close to you."

I suck in a breath and sit up straight. I uncross my legs and chew on the inside of my cheek. The words unguard me. She doesn't mean them the way I want her to and it sets me back. This is a bad idea. Fuck. My fingers lightly drum against my thigh.

Against my better judgement, I hold out my hand once I'm over my shock. She stands and places her hand in mine. I sit her down on my lap so that she can't look at me. Her back is against my chest, the same way we sat after I gave her, her first orgasm and before giving her the next one. That same night that I found out she was already spoken for.

I'm losing control and this is not how tonight is supposed to go but I can't deny her what she wants. Her thighs are right on top of mine. I smell the intoxicating scent of her strawberry shampoo and inhale. Her hair is inches from my face. I move my head to her shoulder and she leans back against me.

My lips nibble at her neck and she trembles. I let my tongue lick her smooth, tan skin. She withers.