Mine & Yours Pt. 01

'It's a good thing it's illegal here.' Angela says. 'People should definitely go to jail for that.'

'Yeah,' I agree, not wanting to look like I condone it, 'it's really gross.'

'Sooo, any-whore, why don't you ask your brother to help you on your mission to ride the Shane train to orgasm city, now welcoming first-time visitors.'

'I will. I'm... just shy about it, and really scared just because I like him so much.' That may be too much of a lie, but I hope it's enough that they won't ask me about it again.

'Aww that's so cute,' Angela says, 'well for what it's worth, the two of you would make the for the most perfect couple in the whole school.'

'Yeah,' Tabitha agrees, 'it's too bad.'

The bell rings cutting her off and everyone in the cafeteria gets up to go back to their classes.

* * *

Wednesday is the best day of the week. After careful scheduling, Dante and I get the entire house to ourselves every after school. Mother goes to volunteer at a shelter or at least that's what she tells us, and Dante has a day off work. We go about cleaning the house and doing all our chores at lightning speed, even cooking supper ahead of time so we can spend the remainder of the day together before mother comes home.

After everything is done I take a shower after Dante has had his, grateful that he felt me plenty of hot water. I get dressed in a light tee and pajama bottoms.

He's on the couch having pulled the coffee table close enough to only have space for his legs. We don't have a TV in the house but Dante and I insisted mother that we'd need a laptop for school work. She coughed up enough money to get a second hand barely working machine that can't go on unless it's plugged in. Tonight we're watching a movie.

Dante spots me coming down the stairs and his face lights up. Hurrying down, I leap onto the couch and Dante leans back and raises his arm so I can lay against his chest. I wrap my arms around him and he rests his arm over me.

'I'm not watching terminator again.'

'What, did my little sister just disrespect The terminator,' Dante replies light heartedly and I laugh at his intentionally bad impression, 'okay, what do you want to watch instead?'

Truthfully, I don't care what movie we watch, I never do. I just want to be here, cuddled with Dante, close and by his side. Whatever he chooses to put on I probably won't even pay attention to. I just act like it matters.

'I don't know, something we haven't seen.'

'Okay, sounds good.'

Dante puts on something and lies down further back, I lay with my back against his chest while he wraps me in his arms and I absent-mindedly watch whatever is playing.

By the time the movie ends the sun is low and the room is dim and with barely any light. Neither I nor Dante moves and we stayed cuddled together for while, not needing to say anything. I roll into him and close my eyes against his chest, breathing him in, feeling warm and safe, but still, I sense that thing that reminds me we're not as close as we could be.

I'm shimming and nuzzling up into the side of his neck to get closer to him when abruptly he sits up, leaving me in the space he has vacated.

'Too bad we can't watch another one before the old lady gets back huh?' Dante asks, switching off the computer.

I can't help but feel I little hurt that he didn't just want to stay the way we were until she got back but I can't mention it. I don't know why but I want to be near him all the time, as close as I can get.

I stare at him, and for some reason, I can tell he's trying not to look my way.

'What's wrong?'

'What?' Dante asks.

'You're not telling me something,' and I can feel it whenever he's being distant,'tell me what it is, please?'

I'm afraid when he doesn't say anything right away, we tell each other everything, we always have, but then he sighs.

'I asked Tori out.'

I sit up. 'What?'

He is silent and avoiding looking at me. I can't believe what I'm hearing. Why her? Why the person who is guaranteed to hurt him.

Everyone in school knows about Tori's reputation. She's a status seeker and man-eater (literally). She dates guys for a couple of months then fuc—sleeps with them, and moves on or cheats without ever looking back.

She's stolen boyfriends and gone after guys that she knew her friends were in to. All the girls basically hate her, though never to her face. Now she was after my big brother.

'Dante you can't, please. She's awful and she's just going to use you and—'

'She's isn't as bad as people say.'

'You're defending her?' She literally just cheated on one of his closest friends.

'Cara, you don't even know her.'

I can sense that thing again. 'What's going on?'

'What are you talking about?'

'It just feels like you're not telling me something.'

Dante doesn't reply and he looks uncomfortable for a second, something he isn't ever with me.

I can feel it in my heart, I can sense it, like an ache. I've tried to ignore it for some time but it's been growing for almost a year now. It's the feeling that Dante is pulling away from me, from us.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it just doesn't feel like we're as close. Like there's a divide, it started as a crack and it's been swelling and tonight it feels as deep and wide as a canyon.

He isn't looking at me anymore. 'Dante?' My voice is weak and pathetic but I can't hide how hurt I feel.

When he does look at me, his face drops a little.

'Cara, I... I want... If you wanted something that you couldn't...' He struggles with his words, before taking a deep breath. 'I want to have a girlfriend, Cara. And I'm going on a date with Tori, that's all.'

Suddenly it hits me a lot harder and I feel selfish, never having realized that maybe my brother is lonely for something I can't give him.

It's something we don't often talk about but I know Dante deserves to be with someone in that way, to have some he can love in that way. Someone who he can have... but still, Dante is strong and kind and smart and gorgeous, and every single girl practically drools over him. He could have anyone he wanted, so then...

'Why does it have to be Tori?'

'I'm not saying it does, it's just one date.'

There it is again, pulling wider. Maybe I can learn to live with it, but I don't want Dante to be with someone like Tori Andrews.

'Tabitha wanted you to know she'd let you finish in her mouth.'

'What?' Dante yells in shock at the abruptness of my words and bursts out into unrestrained laughter. 'Is that your way of setting me up with your friend?'

His laugh is completely unrestrained, it's warm and fills the room, and I cannot stay upset if would save me.

'Okay, I guess I could have done that better.' I admit.

Dante keeps laughing and before I know it I'm laughing too, almost as hard. Dante's face is alive and free, more beautiful than I've ever seen it. Like this, right now, in these little moments, there's nothing between us and he is as close to me ever.

'You can stop laughing now.' I tell him while hoping he never does. 'I mean, I think you two would be great together. Plus she is really really horny, Dante. You would never get a day's rest.'

'That's most girls in school Cara, you might be the only sane one of the bunch.'

If only. 'I'm serious though. Tabitha is really pretty, and she is basically in love with you.'

'As much as I just love my little sister playing match maker for me, I think I'll pass, thanks though.' I am slightly hurt that he would dismiss my friend so casually like that.

'She's a good person Dante, and she's the hottest person at my table.' Hot isn't vulgar, is it?

'Okay, first of all, that's not the only thing I care about Cara, and second, she is not the hottest one in your group.'

'Okay? Then who, Angie?'

'No. You, obviously.'

'What? That's so not true. No guy even talks to me.'

'That's just because I punched that Nicola kid,' Dante laughs like it it's completely obvious, 'he wanted you and said something disgusting about it. I might have ruined your chances, so yeah, sorry about that.'

'Wait, who did you punch?' I'm sure I don't know anyone in our class named Nicola.

'You know, tall guy, blond,' it's not ringing any bells, 'he wasn't in our grade.'

Oh!

I remember. Maxim Nicola, as in Max 'The Nose' Nicola? He was a senior when we were sophomores. That guy wanted to be with me? And Dante punched him?

Actually, now that I think about it, he didn't always have a crooked nose.

'Dante, do you really think I'm pretty?'

'Cara,' he brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, 'you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.'

The nights are getting colder.

I've taken all my clothes off and am writhing above the sheets of the bed, there is a wet spot that has formed. My head in the pillow, a piece of it in my mouth as I bite down to not make a sound. I raise and drop my hip on to my fingers, slick with desire. The guy in my dream is beneath me, I can feel his love for me, I can tell he needs me, as much as I need him. He whispers into my ear that I am the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. I knead my own breast with my free hand and finally, I can feel my frustration about to escape my body and my hips begin to move faster, of their own will, my as—butt is rolling in circles, making me feel dirty and real and then... and then...

A sigh escapes my lips. '...dante...'

Oh my god!

* * * *

The bowling ball goes straight into the gutter, again. 'I suck at this.' Tori says pouting her lips where she's standing in front of the lane.

It's a Friday evening and the place is semi packed, the sound of bowling balls crashing into pins fill the room every few seconds.

'Yeah, you do.' I reply to Tori.

She looks pretty incredible in her tight jeans and a low cut top. Her long dark expensive hair falls perfectly over one side of her face like someone placed it there on purpose. Her skin is light and vibrant, the color of autumn, and she has curves that you could fall out of your chair looking at if you tried to follow.

'If only there was someone big and strong around here who could show me how it's done.' Tori says, very subtly wagging her ass at me.

Oh, she's good.

I am sure that now I am supposed to come up behind her and show her proper form, and then, accidentally I'm sure, she will rub her ass into my crotch. This is only our third date but she has been trying really hard for some reason. Giving me plenty of excuses to practically grope her very curvy body, it was fun at first but now it's starting to get tired.

That and I know this isn't her, I know there's more to her than just this persona she's always pushing.

'How about we go get food, instead.' I get up from my chair and put on my jacket. Offering Tori her own. 'I know a place not far from here.'

We walk out of the rec-center and into the street. The sun has just set and the street lamps are on, lighting the sidewalk.

I walk her down the road to a small restaurant that Cara and I found one Wednesday afternoon. I'm sure Tori isn't used to it, she comes from money and lots of it. And she just came from dating Bradly James, who gets beamers for his birthdays.

Tori has a reputation.

I don't care about reputations though, I had one. People called both me and Cara psychos and weirdos and even suggested the worst possible things about our relationship. It took years for those stupid rumors to die out.

We are given a table and I order for both of us. 'This is such a guy place to bring me.'

'Do you like these kinds of places?'

'I like whatever you like hot stuff.' Tori replies with a wink.

This is getting tired. 'Do you always like everything the guy you're with says.'

Tori gasps dramatically. 'Donald, what do you take me for. What I care about... ' Tori trails off leaning forward and I feel her foot beneath the table rubbing against my crotch, 'is what's on the inside.'

'Tori,' I look deep into her eyes to let her know I want to be serious. 'You know you don't have to do all this.'

'Do what?' She asks the question while leaning forward, and clearly bunching her tits together. 'Don't you think I'm pretty?'

'I'm serious, you don't have to flirt like I'm the last guy on earth. Be a real human being for one night.'

I'm a little ticked when the words come out and I might sound angrier than I am.

Tori's false smile drops at my tone and pushes her chair away from the table.

'Psh, okay fine. You want to be real, let's be real. I'm a slut and you're hot. There, is that real enough for you?'

I sigh, actually disappointed. 'Is that it?'

'So fucking what if it is Dante? I mean it's not like you actually give a shit. Plus don't pretend like you don't like it, it's not like I can't feel your boners. Every guy always wants the same thing from me. Plus everyone is going to assume I was the one who came on to anyway, I don't care. You're hot and I'm game, so you're right, why bother hiding it.

That's not even what I meant, 'Tori, I wanted to—'

'Play relationship just long enough for me to let you in my pants without me looking like a complete whore but not too long that you get impatient, dump me, and call me a cock tease.'

'You don't know me, Tori.'

'Oh, but you know me right?' Tori's laugh is hollow and cutting. 'You're a guy Dante—I'm thinking a slightly above average one—but still just a guy. So how bout you be a good boy and spare me the foreplay of a relationship that neither of us wants, because I know you just want to fuck me.'

I want to tell her she's wrong but she isn't. I do want to fuck Tori, every guy who lays eyes on her does. I can't deny it and even if I did she would see past it. There is more to her though, I know that because I do know some things about her, and I want to see... maybe if...

'Before my sister and I were adopted, we lived in a run-down house with my heroin-addicted mother.'

Tori's face flinches with I don't know what emotion.

I don't know Tori, but she's dated my friends and I know she has been around, but she's never the one who cheats. I know she's heard how guys brag about her like an easily scalable mountain they've planted their flag on, how they exaggerate the things they've done.

'Our mother had some real problems, and she took it out on herself and a lot of times on me. Never my sister, ever. Someone would have to die before I let that happen.'

I know Tori knows how to drive stick.

'My mom was never fit to be a parent, and my dad... well...'

I know Tori's parents are loaded and that her dad travels a lot. I know he bought her a sky blue Porsche 911 and I know it was the same Porsche 911 that was towed into my garage around midnight after it rear-ended someone coming from a motel driveway.

'When we younger, something happ- something almost happened, and I knew the only family I'd ever have is my sister.'

I know Tori's mother is a drunk. A drunk who can't drive stick.

'We were put up for adoption and made it completely clear we weren't going anywhere unless it was together. Caroline, Cara, my sister, she was gorgeous- she still is, honestly the most beautiful girl that...'

I know her and Cara both have hazel eyes. Not brown, like mine, hazel.

'Parents loved Cara. Polite, kind, well mannered, lord knows where she got it from. She could have gotten adopted a dozen times over by rich families that vacation in the Bahamas, but then there was me.'

I know Tori works hard on her body, more than any girl that wishes they had her looks. I know she's heard the rumors about her and any male teacher that gives her passing grade.

'I must have looked rabid. Skinny, scars all over my body. Nobody wanted me, and I knew it. None of them could hide it, even when they tried to.'

I know she's smarter than people think.

'It was an easy decision if Cara was going to go to a good home, if she was going to be safe and happy it wasn't going to be with me.'

I know Tori's parents are going through a divorce, the ugly kind.

'I knew my sister was going to hate me, or miss me, or forget about me and I wanted to believe that I was okay with it.'

I know Tori acts like she doesn't give a shit about anything, like none of all the piles and piles of bullshit ever gets to an eighteen-year-old girl in high school with shit parents and no real friends.

'I don't know how she found out, Cara has always been able to read me I guess. She said if they could see me the way she did, I'd never be alone, but even if they couldn't I'd always have her.'

I know that one of the days I stayed behind at the gym, I heard Tori crying in the girls' locker room, and it reminded me of my sister. My sister, the most beautiful girl in the world.

'You're right Tori, I don't know you, but I want to.' Because you're not her, but you remind me.

* * * * *

School ticks into routine and Dante quit his job, he doesn't tell mother so he can still spend time away from the house without her asking where he is, and since the garage he used to work at is 24/7 he can pretty much be out whenever and for however long he wants now. Within some reason I suppose, not that mother cares all that much.

This weekend there's a fair in town and I've already found tickets in Dante's clothes while doing laundry. Two tickets. Not for me and him, mother would never let me go even if asked, maybe especially. For him and Tori, they've been dating for almost three weeks. He never even told me he was going.

There it is again, pulling us further and further away. My heart hurts so much just thinking about it, I felt like I couldn't breathe when I found out and I told Dante not to come to see me in my room that night so I could let myself cry, and now he's not here. He's out doing whatever else he doesn't want to tell me about.

After school, mother sends me to buy groceries. I take my time, not wanting to be anywhere. When I return I notice Uncle Aaron's civilian car is parked in our drive, a green and gold mustang. He visits often enough but lately, he's been away for a while.

It'll be good to see him again, mother is a tyrant but Uncle Aaron somehow always manages to talk her down when she gets too out of hand, and he's always been on our side.

I walk through the door, and to my surprise, sitting in the kitchen is Shane. Mother notices me enter.

'How slow you truly are, must you take forever to do anything, Caroline.' Mother says, in her long dress that ends below her knees, grey against her deep brown skin.

'I'm sorry mother.' I reply.

'Of course, you are, tiresome child.' Mother sighs. 'As you can see Officer Aaron's eldest is here.'

'Hi, Cara.' Shane says timidly from his chair giving me a smile and small wave.

'Hi Shane,' I reply, 'Dante isn't here right now.'

'No, I know. I came to return your book,' Shane says, raising a notebook that most definitely isn't mine, 'you forgot it in school. Thought I'd bring it back.' Shane's eyes dart to the side of the room mother is on.

'Oh right,' I reply, 'I did forget.'

'Typical, why must you be so careless as well?' Mother says taking the groceries out of my hands. 'Show whatever manners I thought I taught you, and take your belonging.'

'Yes, mother. Thank you, Shane, this way.' I direct Shane upstairs into my room to return what's not my book.

'Hey,' Shane says, his tall toned body looking out of place in my room, 'sorry about the book thing. I just know how your mom can be. Didn't think she'd be cool with me coming over otherwise.'

He's not wrong. 'That's okay. So what's up?' I ask, still not even sure why he's here while Dante isn't.

'Nothing much.' Shane takes a seat on my bed, his eyes not settling anywhere, the birthmark beneath his left eye changing shape with the different angles he looks in. 'We just never hang out anymore, you know. Thought I'd come to see how you were doing.'