Mirror Images Ch. 02

"I was just so stupid," she told Aubrey as they sat on the floor of Summer's room that evening. "The last two weeks have been a nightmare. And I don't know when it will end. This is the most difficult thing I've ever had to endure."

"I'm sorry Sum. This never should have happened." Aubrey glanced over at the full-length mirror -- the mirror with which she was now so familiar from her own viewing and memory of her friend's pictures.

"It's just so demeaning. As though I'm just an object. But I'm a person. I have dreams. I've always tried to help other people. I know there are bad people in the world. But the fact that someone I loved and trusted would do this to me...I'm still grappling with it and trying to understand."

"Yes, all of us have people we rely on and trust. Most of them are always there for us -- but I think even the best of us sometimes slip up."

"I used to feel that way, too. I hope I still do feel that way somewhere inside. What's so strange is that over this past week is that I have this strong desire to...I'm not sure what."

"Summer, please, please don't tell me you've considered hurting yourself."

"No. Don't worry. Nothing like that. What I have is this strong desire... for revenge. It's not like me. And I don't enjoy feeling this way. Like you, I prefer to think -- to know -- that people are mostly good, and that we all have flaws that arise from our emotions and desires. I want to be able to forgive. But I'm starting to think some things may be unforgivable.

"It's understandable you feel that way. Maybe the feeling will pass."

"I hope so. I just feel..so...violated. Yes, that's it. Each time I think about someone new seeing me it makes me feel as though..kind like I'm being raped. No that's not fair. This isn't as bad as that, I know. But it's bad.

"I've been thinking of ways that I can hurt Ethan to let him know how much he's hurt me. There, I've said it out loud."

Aubrey looked intently at her friend. Her expression belied strong unease; lines of worry creased her forehead. She was alarmed. "Summer, please don't do that."

"I think I might have to."

Aubrey looked down at the floor thinking, "if I don't say something, someone who's blameless could be hurt. I've been passive for too long. I should have taken action to keep Summer from getting hurt in the first place. I've been so sickeningly docile and cowardly."

"I'm going to tell you something," Aubrey said. "It's something that will hurt. Hurt in the same way you now feel hurt by Ethan. I didn't want to tell you -- but now I see that I have to. Something I should have told you two weeks ago when all this started -- it was cowardly of me not to.

Summer looked at Aubrey with intensity and apprehension. She had been, was still, going through a lot of pain. Was there more she didn't know about? She wasn't sure she could bear anything more.

"There's no easy way to say this, Sum. Bren, Court, and Cam were the ones who posted and emailed your pictures."

Summer stared at Aubrey. Her green eyes wide, her mouth open in shock.

"It's partly my fault too. I didn't want them to do it. I should have done something to make sure it didn't happen. This went a lot further than I thought it would, but I was far too passive so I'm also to blame."

Summer remained frozen, slowly absorbing what Aubrey had said. She shifted her gaze to the window, remaining deep in thought.

"I don't believe you," she finally said, anger in her voice. "Cam would never do something like this to me."

"Well, she didn't post the pictures. But she took them from you -- I still don't understand why. Bren and Court posted them. I know Cam regretted giving your pictures to them afterward and asked them to stop. But they didn't and Courtney..."

"How were you involved again?" Summer asked, interrupting.

Aubrey was frightened. Summer's eyes were intense, she looked furious. "I..I didn't do anything. But I knew about what was happening from seeing it on a group text. I should have done something. I didn't think it would go so far. I don't blame you for being mad at me."

"Yes, it certainly would have been nice if you had helped me. Helped me before this even started. You were going to say something about Courtney, I think."

"Courtney said she slept with Ethan. She said it was to try and help him. She was kind of joking about it."

"What! I know Courtney has a lot of boyfriends. Having one more might not be a big deal for her, but I know Ethan or, I don't know, I've been thinking maybe I don't. He wouldn't do that."

"Yes, I was surprised, too. But Ethan thought you were through with him. It was too fast, I agree, but he was upset that you broke up with him and was likely vulnerable to someone like Courtney.

Summer was again immersed deep in thought. Yes, Ethan has a strong libido, just like most guys. Is this really possible? Had she unjustly blamed Ethan -- the idea of that was too painful to think about. She wanted to believe that Ethan wouldn't hurt her, but at the same time, she also didn't want to believe what Aubrey was telling her could possibly be true.

"Cam would never betray me. There's no way that Cam would be able to break into Ethan's computer to steal my pictures. She's barely able to load system updates by herself let alone hack into a secure computer. I don't think that Bren and Court would be involved in something like this either."

"Cam said she took the pictures from your phone."

"What? That's not possible." Summer racked her brain. Cam hadn't used her phone...wait, she had given her friend the passcode -- she had changed the passcode a few days ago since it had been Ethan's birthdate, and she didn't need the constant reminder of him every time she accessed the home screen. Pizza. It all seemed so long ago now. But she had deleted the photos from her phone so there was nothing to steal.

Summer opened her phone and looked at the photo album. That's right. There were none of the notorious selfies and even very few photos beyond that --she had deleted all her pictures with Ethan from her phone a week ago -- seeing the two of them together sickened her. She had a sudden thought. She opened the text app and found her thread with Ethan. Though she had blocked Ethan so that he could no longer call or text her almost two weeks ago she had forgot to delete their text thread. As she scrolled up she found all twelve of the pictures.

Aubrey had been sitting nearby looking at her own phone while Summer had been searching through her phone. "Summer, you might as well look at the text messages. I told you about them already. You might as well see the evidence. I have no reason to lie to you about it. Again, I'm so sorry for not doing something."

Summer took Aubrey's phone and started reading down the thread. A look of fury returned to Summer's face as she read. Her green eyes burned. When she had finished, she handed the phone back to Aubrey.

"What are you going to do Summer? I'll cooperate with you and do whatever you ask. If you want to go to Sarah Bowman and Zeta, the university administration, or the police, or all of them I'll back you. I understand that there will be likely be consequences for me as well as the others. I deserve whatever the punishment might be."

Summer was silent for a full five minutes as Aubrey waited uncomfortably, still seated next to Summer on her friend's rug.

Aubrey continually stole glances at her friend, hoping for some clue as to what she might be thinking, and what fate might have in store for her. She started thinking about possibilities. "Maybe I'll be expelled from Zeta. I could manage that if I had to. What if I'm kicked out of school? I'd have to start over somewhere else. Is it possible that i could be arrested? If I am, I probably wouldn't have to go to jail -- I'm trying to help Summer -- now at least. What about Bren, Court, and Cam? I can't worry about that too much. They're responsible for their own actions. They're going to be mad at me though. Or maybe Cam wouldn't be. I wonder what..."

"Aubrey, thanks for telling me about this. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to do that. I'm truly grateful and glad that you're my friend." Summer had a strange, serene look on her face, which greatly surprised Aubrey.

"Sum, that's just so nice, I..."

Summer cut Aubrey off. "I'm going to take my time and decide how I'd like to handle this. There are some things I must do immediately and some things that can wait. I need to try to reach Ethan and apologize. I'm not sure he'll even be willing to talk with me anymore. If not, so be it. He might well have moved on. That might be the best for me too. We were too serious. That made me do something stupid -- something I shouldn't have done."

"I have to let Bren, Court, and Cam know that I told you. They won't be happy with me. I hope in time they'll understand why I had to."

"No!" A serious expression emerged on Summer's face. "You'll not do that. You owe me that at least after your inaction. Well, late action."

"Alright Sum. If that's what you want."

"I have to decide what to do. It would be a mistake for me to rush into something and be careless. I can be as patient as necessary -- that's one of my strengths.