Misery Breeds Company

"See, usually the ads on my site are cars or fishing gear. But I spotted this today when I watched the counter for a while. It's all this baby crap. I don't know what it's doing on my website and it doesn't make a lot of sense."

I nodded and glanced at Mary-Sue who was now bright red. "Alright... How can I put this delicately? Google uses the information it collects from users to generate ads. So people who look at cars online get ads for cars. People who look at fishing gear, get ads for fishing gear. It's completely unique to the computer. So if you went home and looked at this site from your own computer, you'd probably see the cars and fishing gear. At my house, I'd probably see graphics cards and such.

Jim just nodded for a moment, "so, you're telling me. That we're seeing baby stuff because someone's looking at baby stuff? On THIS computer?"

"Ah," I paused, not knowing how to respond other than honestly. "Yes..."

Jim just nodded his head and turned to face Mary-Sue, who was practically shaking in place. "You tell that no good son of mine, if he doesn't marry you before the baby comes, I'm gonna kick his ass into next year. Got it?"

Mary-Sue did a complete 180, staring up at Jim for a moment, "you knew?"

"Pfft," Jim waved her off. "Sweety, I saw the way he was staring at you the day I hired you. Not to mention I've noticed more than once you take your lunch breaks around the same time he drops by. Which is odd that he's always here, but I never actually get to see him." Jim chuckled as he walked back towards the door with me in tow. "Kids these days, think they're so smart."

I just grinned and refrained from reminding him about the fit he'd just had about the quality of the ads on his website. With that sorted, I took a walk around town. I didn't get out here often, but it had a few nice parks, so I liked to take a stroll when I could. Only, this time it was pouring with rain. Not that it bothered the ducks at the park. But, a couple hours later, I got a call letting me know my car was ready. So after picking it up, I took myself for a drive back to work.

Chapter Three

As expected, the dead hog was still on the road when I came back. I almost missed it, to be honest. I didn't realize the corner was so blind coming back this way and the hog was only visible at the last minute. If not for the quality of my tires and me having a rough idea where it was, I'd probably have either hit it or missed it entirely and kept driving. But, pulling such a hazard off the road was the safe thing to do. I didn't need some elderly farmer cleaning it up in the dark. So with a sigh, I pulled out my trusty umbrella for the second time and climbed out into the rain. With my hazard lights on, I was comfortable being out on the road as I moved to examine the animal. It didn't stink, so I knew it was pretty fresh. It also hadn't begun to bloat at all, which made me less cautious about touching it. So after examining the easiest way to do this one-handed, I took it by the rear leg and started hauling.

All things considered, a dead hog is heavy. Heavier still, when you're dragging it one-handed in the rain. You'd think the wet ground would help things, but their wiry fur just grabs the ground and makes it a bitch. So I spent more time trying not to fall over in the wet, than actually moving the dead animal. Looking up to check my progress, I just about had the hog over the line. But that's not what caught my eye... What really caught my eye, was a pair of black lines that went right over the hog, carving a path over to the side of the road and disappearing over the edge into a stormwater ditch.

"Oh fuck," I muttered. Dropping the leg, I rushed as quickly as I could to see what was down in the ditch. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck," I repeated to myself as I looked down.

It was a car... On its roof. I could see the underside. And... Well... Either it had a chopped exhaust, or the hog somehow split it in two and removed a section... The red paint just made it even more obvious. Dropping the umbrella, I sat on my ass with my legs over the side and slid down into the small river, pooling around the car. The water covered most of the roof and came up, just before the metal of the door where the glass stopped. I grabbed the handle and gave it a few tugs, but either it was wedged by something, or the weight of the flowing water stopped me from being able to open it.

"Mike!?" I yelled. "Mike you son of a bitch, are you okay?"

I gave it a minute and decided I needed to know if he was still in there. Reaching down into the water, either the window was down, or it broke on impact. So I could reach through into the car, straight into something cold and soft. "Shit," I groaned. Patting around gently, sure enough, it was a face. I couldn't be sure it was Mike, but... Colour of the car... Exhaust... Location... "Fuck... Why me..." I groaned softly.

It took me a few minutes to climb out of the ditch. It was wet and the walls kept collapsing as I tried to climb out. I finally managed it when I noticed the patches with more grass were more stable. Probably something to do with erosion, but whatever. As I got to the top, I spotted a slow-moving truck come to a sudden stop. The window dropped as I got to my feet.

"Tim, you okay?" A gruff voice called.

I looked up and spotted Mr. Harrison. He was the man who parcelled up his land and built the house that I bought. Originally it was for his son, but his son didn't want the farming life and moved to a larger city.

"Mr Harrison, call the cops. I think it's Mike down there." I called, heading towards the car.

"Mike? Fuck, what's he doing down there? Something stupid I bet," the old man grumbled.

I just shook my head, "looks like he hit that pig," I pointed to the carcass, "and went off the edge yesterday in the rain. He didn't show up to get Jess and whoever is in that car, is underwater."

Mr. Harrison just nodded, "poor Jess," he said softly. I just rolled my eyes. I'm sure there will be some kind of backlash, but really? She was 'poor Jess,' while the bastard was alive. Him being dead should be a relief. "I'll call the sheriff," Mr. Harrison continued.

I just nodded and headed back to my car. "Fuck... Now I'll need to get it shampooed again..."

Mr. Harrison was kind enough to let me borrow his work jacket to keep the wind off me. I tried sitting under the umbrella to keep it more or less dry, but he just laughed at me and I gave up. I was soaked through anyway. So that's how I spent the next forty minutes, waiting for the sheriff. Eventually, I spotted the blue and red lights in the distance and sighed with relief. Mr. Harrison's jacket was great, but I was still soaked to the bone in the wind. A few minutes Sheriff Roche climbed out, wearing a thick raincoat.

"Morning you pair, what have we got?" He asked. His white mustache was already dripping from the water blowing in his face. I just led him to the edge and pointed down at Mike's car. "Yeah... That's a problem..." he muttered to himself. "There anyone in there?"

"Yeah, I reached through the window. They're underwater," I said. "Pretty sure it's Mike."

Sheriff Roche looked at me a moment before nodding. "One way to find out. It'll be a real pain if our only tow truck driver isn't here to do a tow." Pulling out his phone, he dialed a number and hit send. A few moments later, a dull ringtone came from the upside-down car. "Well... That settles that then..." Sheriff Roche walked over the scene and looked at the skidmarks and the hog, before turning back to me. "You move that pig?" He asked.

"Yeah, I pulled over to move it. That's when I spotted the tire tracks. I climbed down to see if anyone was in there when... Well, when I found him. Mr. Harrison pulled over as I climbed back out and I asked him to ring you."

Sheriff Roche just nodded. "Death's always a nasty business. But... Maybe... No, shouldn't speak ill of the dead," the old man shook his head. "Look, you head on home. I'll be by to get an official statement from you later. This looks pretty open and shut to me."

I just nodded, "if I'm not home, check the store. Either way, you have my number and I won't be far."

The sheriff just nodded and I headed back towards Mr. Harrison, still sitting comfortably in his truck. When he saw me approaching he wound down the window. "You heading off?"

"Yeah, thought I'd give this back!"

He just shook his head, "don't worry about it. I've got a few more and you could probably use a new work jacket if you're gonna be climbing out in the rain like this. I'll let Martha know you'll be over for a barbeque after all this rain clears off!"

I just grinned, "I'll bring the beer!"

"Just the cheap crap. You know the good stuff is wasted on me!" he roared back with a fierce grin.

I just waved and headed back for my car. Sheriff Roche was out placing cones on the road to direct traffic but he waved me off as I went. So with a shrug of my shoulders, I opened my car door and jumped for joy. The car seat covers were still in, I wouldn't need to get the interior cleaned again! Fuck...That's a tad cold of me... A man just died and I'm worried about my upholstery... Is that what kind of man I really am? Or was Mike really that big a piece of shit? It took me all of three seconds to remember all of Jess's bruises before deciding Mike was a piece of shit who deserved to drown in a ditch. The whole town, let alone poor Jess, was far better off without Mike in it. There just wasn't a nice way to express that.

I drove back home at a sedate pace. No doubt Mike was probably drunk when he crashed, but that didn't mean I should be reckless. That was the second time I'd seen pigs on the road. Seems even the rain didn't stop them. I knew they caused issues for the farmers. I'd heard the rifle shots occasionally. Even Mr. Harrison had a few jawbones on display in his home. But I put that all aside as Jess's home came into view. I had no idea when she'd find out. Nor did I know how she'd take it. I supposed I would just have to play it by ear.

Pulling up in the garage, I climbed out and hung the jacket on the door handle of the garage. I just headed inside and showered. Once I was warmed up and feeling more human, I got into a dry set of clothes and headed back downstairs to my car. Quickly switching out the seat cover for a fresh one, I made the twenty-minute drive into work. Sure enough, as I unlocked the door, nobody was waiting for me. The answering machine had a single message on it, letting me know Sandra would be kicking her ethernet cord out tomorrow at noon and would like me to come to plug it back in. I couldn't help the laugh, knowing the old bat had me pegged. Truth be told, she reminded me of my own nanna.

My thoughts were broken, by a young man opening the door. He looked nervous as he handed over his phone with a smashed screen. But $200 later, I had reassured him he could pick it up in the afternoon before closing and it would be fixed. It was one of the latest models, and knowing the young people usually came to me for advice on hardware, I knew to stock up on the basics well in advance.

It was as I sat at my desk, replacing the screws that held the case together, I spotted the police car. I put my work down to just watch as Sheriff Roche headed inside and stopped Jess at the door. Seemed she was on the floor today. She must have finished her cooking already. It's how she paid 'her bills' If she wanted clothes or perfume, Mike never paid for it. She had to work for her own money. So she got a job in the diner across the road. Both as a waitress and as a cook. She made their baked goods mostly and got everything prepped in advance during the day for the evening rush. But right now, she was standing in front of the main windows as Sheriff Roche took off his hat. I saw her hands clench the front of her face, I saw her head fall and nod. And I saw the Sheriff reach out to place his hand on her shoulder, just as she flinched and took a step away. With that, she disappeared into the back and the Sheriff left shortly after speaking to Harry, the owner.

"You're gonna be okay," I said softly. "You've got the whole town watching you. All you gotta do is recognize those of us willing to help."

Five-thirty on the clock, I saw her exit the diner. After all this, she'd finished working her shift. I didn't know what that meant, but it was probably a reaction to shock. I watched as she paused at her spot for a few moments, before seeming to wipe at her face a moment. Without looking back she started walking... At least today she had that plastic sheet she carried as a rain barrier. So with a sigh, I flicked the lock on the front door and headed out the back to my car. Pulling onto the road like yesterday, I could at least see her this time. Without the darkness of the countryside at eight at night, this was far simpler. Pulling over just in front of her, I opened the door and popped out my umbrella.

"Want a lift!?" I called.

Of all the things I expected, I didn't expect her to come storming up to me. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded harshly.

Taken aback, I paused for a moment. "I... I was just offering a lift. I thought you might prefer that to walking in the rain."

"So it's got nothing to do with you finding Mike, dead in a ditch, and taking pity on the fat bitch who has to walk?" I just gaped and shook my head. "Then what? You think you'll just move in where he left and run my life for me?"

I just blinked at her, before muttering, "I'm sorry."

Without another word, she stormed off past me. I just got back in my car and closed the door. It took me a few minutes to calm down and start driving again. It only took a few minutes before I passed her. She stared at the ground at her feet until I rounded the corner from view. "What was I thinking? Mike was a bastard, but he was still her partner. How would I react in her situation, when the person who dug out my dead life partner offered me a lift?" I just shook my head.

It was about six when I got home and threw in a microwave carbonara. This time I ate inside in front of the television. I'm sure something was on, but I couldn't remember what it was. I found myself dreading the morning. My usual routine of watching the front counter meant I had a clear, unobstructed view of the diner where Jess worked. Seeing her flash that smile at every customer was one of the highlights on my quiet days. With a sigh, I threw away the remains of the dinner I didn't feel like eating and went upstairs. Moving to sit in my office, I found a good streamer to watch. But I still wasn't really in it. I smiled where appropriate, laughed a couple times, and around ten, I turned it off and went for a shower. When I climbed out, feeling clean, but no less settled, I finally groaned and walked into the spare room. Like a small jolt to my heart, Jess's lights were on. It was pushing eleven, so it was a seriously long walk. But she got there safely in the end. Fuck... It was time for bed before I did, said, or thought anything stupid again.

Chapter Four

I woke, the same as I always did. Alone in a big comfortable bed. The rain was still going but seemed a lot lighter than the last couple of days. Flicking through my phone, I could see the forecast for the day, and it was expected, the rain would be breaking up. With a groan, I got up and showered again. I was off to see Sandra today. One of these days, she'd actually damage the plug and I'd end up charging her a fee for a repair. I dreaded that day. She was in her nineties and lived most of her life online. You hear about these old people who can't work phones? Sandra can't get up the flight of stairs in her house, but last time I gave her a go on Mario Kart... Well, let's just say I don't like talking about it. So with a groan, I climbed out of bed and into the shower. The hot water felt good. I'd half thought that being rained on for so many days I'd be sick of it. But the temperature was a nice buffer to my mood. Once clean, dried, dressed, and ready, I made the twenty-minute drive to the store.

The first thing I noticed pulling in was Sheriff Roche's car in the parking lot. The sheriff himself was leaning on the wall finishing a cigarette. I pulled up and nodded to the man as I climbed out and headed for the back door.

"Morning, come on in," I said, unlocking the door.

Sheriff Roche just took a last puff and dropped the butt on the ground. I ignored the fact he was littering on my property. He'd just laugh at me if I said something and it was easier to pick it up after he was gone.

"So," the large man started. "Initial results are back. He'd been dead for twelve to twenty-four hours when you found him. He was also blind drunk. Skid marks gave us an estimate of about a hundred and twenty when he clipped the hog. Hog broke its neck, and Mike went into the ditch and rolled. On its back it got itself wedged. Mike had wounds on his hands and water in his lungs. Drunken idiot drowned."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

Sheriff Roche just took a deep breath. "I thought you should know how it all happened. Jess might need a friend and you've been spotted talking to her."

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "Don't think she likes me all that much, to be honest."

He just patted my shoulder, "she was a firecracker as a kid. Trust me, you're still breathing. She likes you plenty."

I just shrugged again, remembering the look in her eyes yesterday evening. If she really was a firecracker as Roche said. How did she get shacked up with Mike?

"Alright, well thanks for letting me know. Is there anything else you need?"

Sheriff Roche shook his head slowly. "Not me lad. But... Jess will need a friend or two."

I watched with a raised eyebrow as the large man unlocked the front door and simply crossed the road without a second glance. I could see clearly how Jess smiled at him as he entered, and just as quickly drop. A few minutes later, he led her back out of the diner. Thankfully he didn't lead her through my shop, but he did take her around back and drive her away a few minutes later. I didn't get the feeling she was in trouble for anything. But I didn't think that this was a simple traffic accident if they had something to do with Jess.

But... She'd made it pretty clear, despite Roche's words, that she didn't want anything to do with me. So I shrugged my shoulders again and pulled out my shop vac and tidied the place up a bit. After all, unless I got a walk-in or a call out, I had nothing to do until noon when I needed to visit Sandra. So after vacuuming, I dusted the shelves and did a little browsing. I found a new set of computer cases. They were slimmer than the ones I used in my current builds and came with upgraded cooling units pre-installed. Either way, it seemed to be interesting enough I put in an order. If they were as good as they looked, I'd put it in the window on display until one of the young ones spotted it. Call it sneaky marketing, but they had the money and hadn't complained yet. A new tractor cost more than a Ferrari, what's a couple of hundred bucks on a computer upgrade?

Closing down the computer, I wrote out a note explaining my absence and taped it to the door. With a flick of the lock, I headed out back to my car. Now, the main reason I never bothered charging, was because Sandra lived in the town itself. She had a decent, two-story cottage right beside one of the parks. Honestly, I could walk, but there's always the chance I'll get a call from a local business. Besides, I needed to keep up appearances. So pulling onto the road in the opposite direction of home, I made a few quick turns before pulling up outside a familiar, green-roofed home. By the time I had my small work bag out of the boot, she was standing at the front door, leaning on her cane.