All Comments on 'Miss Renfield's Last Day'

More! The end is just another beginning!

With the world building this seems like SciFi to me.

That was wierd as hell. I loved it.

Anonymous: Isn't *every* end just another beginning? (It does have a lot of sequel potential, doesn't it?)

MasterBaiter: Thank you, good sir! It's amazing what the bored mind gets up to in an office...

Dang! I was so prepared to hate this story. It took me three tries to get halfway through the first page... and then my mind-worm twisted and I realized that I was reading Pure Genius. Thank you for sharing your Art with us. Seriously, best new story I've seen on Lit for weeks now.

What an utterly wonderful and enchanting story!

ZzChrome: HA! I love it. Somehow that makes me happier than if you’d liked it right off the bat. Thanks.

What the MasterBaiter Said!

5-stars for certain!

Tentacles: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! It's a bit of Forrest Gump meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer, isn't it? There's an older movie called "Being There" that this reminded me of, too. By the way, if your username is indicative of a proclivity, I'd recommend Part 5 of my "What Dreams May Come" series.

Anonymous MasterBaiter Supporter: Thanks! It really was weird, wasn't it? I was laughing through writing most of it.

Thoroughly enjoyed this! Great job.

Having both read and loved this, I’m still not 100% sure if it’s a brilliant satire on corporate/cubicle life, the tale of an ingenue or the love child of a bad acid trip, or possibly even a combination of all three. I’m definitely giving it 5 stars, although I’d have liked better continuity and clarity from the point where she gives the Lawyers the pizzas, it feels as if you’d written it in one hit up until then and you just couldn’t regain the state of mind/muse to finish it off in the same fashion. Might just be me though. Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

Anonymous III: Thanks! I appreciate the encouragement.

Purplefizz: Thank you and that’s a very fair comment! I was kind to the lawyers and the end had a different feel from the rest of the romp. Here were a few elements that I was working with there: 1. Eden’s training wears off during the day, so she gets more intuitive as she goes. She’s almost normal by the time she gets there, aside from her lack of memory. 2. Eden needed to get some bad news in the scene and I admittedly lack the skills to deliver the blow with heartless wit. 3. I like lawyers… aside from most of them being incapable of answering a question without asking 27 prerequisite questions, I find them to be a fun bunch of smart alecks.

So, you’re absolutely right - and thanks for making me work for my credibility. Good fiction needs continuity, too.

Completely bizarre but bloody brilliant. As I was reading it I could almost visualize it cinematically in my mind. Which almost immediately made me think of 2 films from the late 80's ("Naked Lunch" and "Brazil"). The descriptions she gave of her first night with the boss brought a stupid grin to my face that I couldn't shake. That was so funny. Question: i understand why he made her his assistant but why wait the entire year before acting on what he really wanted? He had to know that as a suicide she would be gone after her term of service. Did he have someway around it or was he just saying goodbye? I hope you spend more time playing in this sandbox.

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Cheers

Completely surreal in so many ways. It sometimes felt like the story could be drawn out in anime at times, especially the flying bat scene. As for category it would be impossible to define it as one thing or another. All I can say is it certainly isn't Twilight.

Harga! I’ve missed you!

I think I saw Naked Lunch, but not Brazil. I think I was mostly in a visual mode when I was writing this. Thrall Eden didn’t have a lot of complexity or inner dialogue, just simple observations of a duplicitous world. She experiences the moment purely because that’s pretty much what she has to work with.

Mr. Durant has a problem. He loves Eden, but she’s been turned into a thrall that is incapable of real consent, in his mind. He thinks he would be taking advantage of her… until he discovered that she changed her HR training. Then, he figured she was capable of consenting (and actually willing), but he was still a little conflicted and resisted until he had breasts literally in his face. Bare breasts in one’s face tend to clear up conflicted feelings.

The rest, I’ll have to figure out in the next installments. This is a fun sandbox, and I’m glad it wasn’t just fun for me!

Anonymous IV: Thank you! I never thought about anime, but you’re right - anime could do something really cool with this. Animation - especially the less realistic styles - can express surreal concepts in a way the mind can accept much better than CGI or other things. Thanks for sharing that thought!

Aaargghhh!!! I absolutely love this. Super-funny, super-sweet and also I love vampires. Shout out to the Rage Demons from Hell for winning the SharePoint tender. Would love a sequel. Thanks for writing.

I commented earlier and have now just read this a second time and also noticed from one of your comments that you are considering a sequel - yay :). In light of your request on the bio for specific feedback may I make the respectful suggestion/plea that any sequel preserves the master/slave power dynamic in some form ... I guess Adrian is not going to be all about whips and chains but the tension inherent in the dynamic is hot imho. I will be following your work anyhow.

Don't quite know what to make of this. I read your intro so thought I'd start reading and got caught up in the story which was brilliantly written and so evocative then I'm completely thrown at the end with the bilty to alter the computer programmimg and the union stuff. You'll have to write a sequel to sort out the relationship of love and confict between Eden and her Adam. 5⛤

Oh my god. I'm obsessed

Anonymous V: There's something to be said for an honest SharePoint vendor. Thanks!

Anonymous VI or Earlier Anonymous: I like the tension, too, and it will be different to get that tension back when she is such a different person now. I look forward to it. Somehow, it's even more exciting to get someone sharp and independent to overcome their need to control everything and allow themselves to accept something against their instincts.

Ravey19: Ravey! Long time no comment! I figured her SharePoint abilities could be useful in many ways - everyone throwing things onto the SharePoint without a thought because no one understood it much anyway. I also wonder about the new Eden/Adrian-Adam dynamic. I figure he liked her before she became a thrall - but her being a thrall showed him what she enjoyed when all her baggage wasn't in the way. Now, he just needs to convince her of it.

ToxicFetish: Does that mean my work is toxic? (sits up proudly)

I so appreciate you and your writing. Came here for sexy vampire action, left with sexy vampire action and hilarious insight into corporate life (which I feel SO STRONGLY).

I stumbled across this work purely by accident, but I'm so happy I did

Anonymous VII: My work here is done.

This just scratched every itch I had. And can't wait for the sequel!

jra13 - I'm working on it! It has a different feel, now that Eden's no longer a thrall, but it's still a fun ride.

This is without doubt the best story I have read on this site. Three thumbs up!

Killara: Thanks! It felt like a really weird one when I wrote it, but I was glad to see it clicked for some.

So, Lingie... I just popped in after reading one of your new works, and decided to read the rest of your stuff. I didn't, though, I just read the stuff that I had bookmarked. This tale is... feels... better than I remembered.

I'm glad to hear my work ages well. I couldn't have a better encouragement for my upcoming birthday!

Very very nice, loved the intercatoon where she says all truth and is made dumb by training but he knows all, and the setting of suicide. The thoughts of both of them, him knowing it all, the end...way too good. Your entrapment story is great as well, the 1st page was literally thought of every1. You are a great writer, must see publishing