All Comments on 'Missing Cousin'

I tried to read this, really. Your lack of language skills made it impossible for me to finish it. I'm not sure a proof reader/editor could help. There may have been a good idea but it certainly didn't come to fruition.

I loved it... Bravo and continue writing your stories... I keep hoping that you will continue the Jake's Sisters and The Show stories as they're quite hot.

Very Good, keep up the great work

Your story has lots of promise for future chapters. You really need to use an editor or proofreader in the future. Those little grammatical and spelling errors do take away from your story. Keep writing.

As others have said, the writing/editing is terrible, but in addition, there are inconsistencies here. For example, he buys large (the largest size he states) condoms, they don't fit, and he wants to go back to buy large condoms? This makes little sense.

The story was fine, but it was annoying that you inserted yourself -- the author -- and made specific quotes from your stories. If a reader likes your work, he will check your submissions page and look for your name under new stoies.

If this story is 99% true and specifically in regard to you having such a discussion of your stories, then it's okay, but you would have to make it clear it is true story.

As usual a good story. Also as usual the editing is horrible. Spellcheck won't fix it because you're spelling the wrong words correctly. And, as mentioned, inconsistency. How does he always have a hot chick on his arm if he's a "loser" and afraid to ask anyone out? I really like your stuff, but, PLEASE!

As everyone else has said. Good idea, hot idea . . . but work on the spelling and grammar . . .PROOFREAD THOROUGHLY. Another thing, get some consistency . . . it takes away when I'm saying "WTF?" every few paragraphs. You can be one of the best writers on the site, but this will not do.

PS: STOP THE FUCKING PROMOTIONS . . . that's cheap and it cheapens your story.

Not really a 'bad' story, but it seems to have been written from the prospective of a horny high school sophomore. What college man wouldn't have nearly leaped at the prospect of making love with a young woman as she was described. Remember, a stiff prick has no conscience.

I don't think this is your very best work... The Show and Jake's Sisters were written with more style and flair, I think. But this is a good enough diversion. If you aren't a writer yourself I don't know how you can flame Musicankane. At least this guy's going out and giving it a go. Grammer does need improvement, though, but it doesn't take anything drastic away from the story itself in my opinion. I honestly do not think it's your strongest work, Kane, that and the errors in grammer are the reasons why it's getting 75 instead of 100%

You must understand I really like your stories, you are an outstanding writer. But this story just didn't hold me. It didn't capture my interest like any of your other stories. I thought the build up took to long, and sort of was dull by the end. It was sort of disapointing. Keep writing though, love your stories, except for this one.

The story did leave a lot of room for sequels, which is a good thing if you planned it that way. However, the grammatical mistakes did take a bit away from it. The ending felt a little rushed as well. However, I applaude you for knowing and actually listening to Dream Theater, for they are an awesome band. And if you can really play Home, nice!

Hey musicankane,

Dude I love your stuff...you are a very good erotic writer but you have to listen to you readers and the comments people post...please spell check. I don't get it...your ALWAYS asking for feedback yet you do nothing with the feedback. If your a busy person get a friend or a devoted reader on Literotica (and you can easily find them) to proof read your work. Cool :)Keep up the good work.

come on man thats like a prue fantasy with no possiblity

Over looking the bad gramme,and spelling,I loved the story line but let the Kid get her in bed. Get all the required knowledge so he is no longer a "Minuteman." And just how large is he;hopefully he will have explored all body openings with her,and I think a nice touch is that he does knock her up!

Dude nice reference to Dream Theater, I'm a drummer and I fuckin worship Mike Portnoy he's the man. Other than that the story was pretty good but you make way too many spelling mistakes.

Nice story, with room to have sequals, my only suggestion, is get some one to edit for you, do spell and gammar checks, stories may take a little longer to put out, but it will more than make up for it in the advancement in quality. Still a good story.

You need to work on continuity and grammar. Spelling isn't a strong point either. As good a story teller as you are in this genre, leaving words out of sentences and other simple mistakes detract from the overall quality.

you seem to start some stories mking it seem like there will be sequel I'm still waiting for Chapter 8 of Jake's sisters i liked how you included yourself in the story though that was cool.

Thanks for another good story. As far as grammar and spelling are concerned, they may be a bit distracting, but are of little consequence. I have a good friend, whom I regard as the best writer on this site, and she would likely tell you about yourself if you were to pick on her spelling and grammar. Keep telling your tales and screw the anonymous critics.

You left this Wide open for another chapter and possible outcomes I am eagerly waiting for another chapter

Not to pile on here, but yes, grammar, spelling and punctuation showed major problems. I had to re-read some sections to get the context of what you were trying to communicate. In sort of a defense, I notice many works of not only yours, but other authors have the same problems...on a site using the root of the word "literary"...hmmmf!

Your frequent "advertising" of this site within this story was annoying. I'm here already! You don't have lure me here as a subplot. The story did interest me, just a tough read.

Don't take this all personally-I would hope ALL authors here heed this advice!

ml

but wait: how does he have time to write erotic stories if he so busy working and going to "music college" that he forgot about a total babe coming to live with them??

Any rational guy would be counting down the days till she arrived. And using fantasies of her in his porn stories.

If otherwise legal, e.g. not under age, marriage or sex between second cousins (step or not) is legal in all States of the USA. Further marriage or sex between first cousins in legal in California, where this story is set. So in what way is this incest/taboo?

Should be in erotic couplings.

The story had/has real promise, but as many have noted it has issues. The author obviously one-offed this, probably while sleepy or dead tired, and didn't bother to take the time to read it to see how it turned out.

Spelling errors of course, but worse are the grammatical/sentence structure problems that are so bad they make you groan! Really, some of the paragraphs looked like they were written in chinese and then someone used an internet conversion program to switch them to english! Then a a few paragraphs would be fine before it went bad sgain, lol.

I don't mind the self promotion thing, however if this story is a quality reference then it's not likely I'll be champing at the bit to read the other stories:/

The condom bit made no sense at all.

Please, please rewrite the story and submit it again (maybe with a new chapter?) so we can enjoy it! ;)

P.s. Start using contractions on *everything*!!!!! The speech looks so un natural if you don't.

So a guy on here with no talent and ridiculous stories writes a story specifically to have a woman tell him how great he is?

Pathetic.

I would like to see it develop into a love story and they end up married...

This is an amazing start to a wonderful story, more please!!

We want MORE!!!!! Please

One of the best stories I’ve read on Literotica, but the spelling and grammar are so bad it distracts greatly from the enjoyment. Please find an editor or at least a proof reader. There are areas on their website where you can find help.

1. "you want me to loss this" = lose

2. "she looked piss" = pissed off (pissed means drunk)

Great story, but it really deserves a sequel or three.

Pretty disjointed............ doesn't deserve even one star........... aggghhhhhhh

[02.08.23]

Well Done!

11/10!!!!!