All Comments on 'Mixing Business and Pleasure'

Enjoyed your first story.

One comment, hopefully constructive is about your use of laid, as in "I laid down on the bed". That should be "I lay down on the bed". Laid is correct when it is I laid something down on the bed.

However I note that an awful lot of writers make that same mistate.

You had some incomplete phrases, so you might need an editor: "But as the months and years went by, spending time alone with me, even to just talk, let alone have sex."

Also, you might want to give a little more introduction of your other characters. I assume Frank, Bill, and Vanessa are coworkers but they seem to have been dropped into the paragraph where they are first mentioned.

Very nice story, enjoyed reading it!

Good start to what could be a great story. What is wife up to, how they continue to see each other, etc. I hope there are more chapters to this

The plot is common, but you did a nice job of prolonging the sex scene which leaves the reader wondering. Good character development, succinct dialogue, and illustrats the theme of "Cheating" in an interesting way. Well done for a first try.

Well done setting the mood and motivation, not just sex. I agree that an editor might be a good idea - almost stopped at the beginning when the wif came down the "isle" instead of "aisle."

I didn't want this to end!!! Great first attempt

Not only a sexy story, but had humanity that allowed me to relate. First time in years, I looked to see what else the author had written....hope there will be more.