All Comments on 'Mock Rape, Inc.'

I really enjoyed your story until the end. I mean it was a five until the end. Obviously poor Claire will end up mutilated and dead from being the recepient of Manfred's temper at losing everything in his life. Instead of a story where bondage has a place in society, your story seems to support the bias that unless sex is sweet, any other type of sexual encounter is an abomination or deviant and needs to be punished. Bondage and other sexual games have a place in our society and do not need to be degenerated any more. Instead of a nice bondage fantasy, your story gives the reader the message that bondage or mock rape is wrong and the party who has the fantasy deserves to be punished. It is the deviants who need the power trip of rape or forced bondage to get off who deserve to be punished and personally I think that Manfred needs to be neutered because he cannot control himself. He is the one who is escalating the damage that he HAS to leave on the victim in order to enjoy his sexual encounter. Malcolm is fulfilling the fantasy of his sexual partner, not his victim. Don't you ever read true crime or watch any profiler shows that tells us how a person who has to punish or hurt their victim in order to reach sexual release will eventually become a cold blooded killer that has no natural restraints or boundaries?? You really scare me and should not submit any more stories.

I don't normally vote on my own stories, but I felt the previous comment deserved a reply and this seemed the only reasonable place to put one. A number of points are made, and I'll try to address them.

"Obviously poor Claire will end up mutilated and dead..."

I'm sorry if I left that impression. The intent of the ending was to leave open the possibility of a sequel. This is one of my earlier stories and endings aren't my strong point anyway. If it will help, assume Claire gets rescued. (Actually, she does, but I'm going to rework the ending a bit before posting the sequel here).

"your story seems to support the bias that... , any other type of sexual encounter is an abomination or deviant..."

It was not my intention to denigrate bondage or any other sexual proclivities. Chalk it up to ineptitude on my part. I would point out that there is an obvious good guy and an obvious bad guy here and it's clear, I think, which is which. The behavior of Manfred (the bad guy) is reprehensible and seen as such by the other characters. The story was not meant to approve or glorify his actions.

"personally I think that Manfred needs to be neutered because he cannot control himself"

Of course he can't. That's what makes him the villain.

"Malcolm is fulfilling the fantasy of his sexual partner,

Yes! That's what makes him the good guy. His behavior is to be emulated.

"Don't you ever read true crime or watch any profiler shows...?"

No. Not ever.

"You really scare me and should not submit any more stories."

It's tempting to be flippant and suggest that there is reason to be concerned about the person who wrote the above comment if he or she thought the intent of the story was to endorse criminal behavior and further suggest that maybe he or she shouldn't read any more stories. However, what I would rather do is suggest that anyone who is troubled by this story should read "Hooker" by the same author (me). It's the most recently written story I have on the site, has a happy ending, and all activity is consensual. Furthermore, in my own opinion, it's a better story than this one.

Harold

A nice blend of erotica and plot, altogether this was a delicious short story! Unlike many here that are either pure sex or pure plot this is just about the right amount. Talk about a cliff hanger, you did great with this. I'm curious if Mike and Grace ended up together, who shot at Man's toyota, and how Malcom will react when he finds out what happened to Clair. Keep up the great writing style!!

I liked this story a lot, and as someone who is a safe sane individual who likes to tie my girlfriend up in bed, (because she likes it so much!) I found nothing derogatory about this story to "the lifestyle." I liked its eroticism, its compelling characters, its imaginative situations and its hardboiled mood. It was like Dashiel Hammet meets Anne Rice. Very cool.

Please don't wait so long to post more stories Harold! You are one of (IMHO) the three best writers on this site, and I was excited to see that you had posted a new story. I am completely hooked by this one, and though I usually object to the cliff-hanger, it is completely congruent with the style and tone you have established in this story.

"Will Claire escape from the clutches of the vile Manfred? Will Malcolm discover how to give Claire what she craves? Will Manfred's cruel treatment provoke desires in Claire that Malcolm can never fulfil? Stay tuned dear readers, for the next episode of Mock Rape Incorporated!"

-Tom

Loved the story but what happens next.

Well, I gotta agree with much of what has already been said, both good and bad. Firstly, I think the gritty plot is superb. Vaguely reminiscent of "The Game" (that movie with Michael Douglas); I could honestly see this as a full length motion picture. The clever, yet easily understandable, twists add a flair that is commonly absent in erotic writing. A very nice blend of 'action' and story-telling. I will say that it was kind of difficult to read Claire's demeanor, mostly her thoughts on all that happened. I don't know how to better describe it, her character just came off as flat to me. The ending really got me though, I'm not certain I liked it. While I agree with most of the counter points you made to Mr. Stop-writing's argument, I will agree with him that the only realistic outcome is that Claire will end up dead or disfigured. Manfred has no reason to be moderate now that he's lost everything. An upsetting ending, which does not necessarily detract, but I never got the feeling you were writing a tragedy. All in all, a damn fine work of fiction. Ending wasn't my cup of tea, but that's a personal dealie. Keep writing, ya got the stuff.

Please write the sequel! I want to know what happens! It was a really good short story, and I cant wait to find out what happens next. Thank you for sharing this with us!

The ending totally ruined it for me.

Yeah, I was annoyed that manfred got away with it and hurt Claire again. Apart from that it was a great story

Hoping for sequel

The ending is sdistic and too darkly open ended for the personality involved, up until the end it was a fairly good story.