All Comments on 'Modeling in Amsterdam'

This was an uncomfortable example of manipulation by an artist with no ethics. Not admirable. Not pleasant.

Overall... Brava! Great plot and idea. Although, I think that it could be even better if you were to get rid some of the commas and replace them with either colons, semi-colons or even periods. Also, if you make your piece a bit longer and add in some sexual tension/frustration, it would lure your audience in more. Hope this helps you improve your style and voice!