All Comments on 'Modified Adverts Ch. 01'
by Jason_T
- 9 Comments
Anonymousover 1 year agoYou are all over the place with this one, better that you split into different parts!!
cageysea9725over 1 year agoI read the first half of the first page, and found nothing there that was not stupid.
"Over the years" in the life of an 18-year-old doesn't make sense.
Ms. (notice the period there? It's required) Arton is a 'lecturer' at a college, yet it's her first teaching position and that she just finished her teacher training. I don't know what part of the world you come from, but in the developed world, a college does not have teachers or lecturers. They have professors (associate professors, tenured professors, etc.) which have not just gone to college, but graduate school for both Masters and Doctorate degrees.
How about you try to thing of something original instead of trying a rehash of something you've read? Do you think you can do that after you find some logic and reason? Maybe an education would help. It might help if you waited until you're an adult, too.
ScottishTexanabout 1 year agoThe introduction was a little bit too dry and boring. 😴 I didn't even make it past where the narrator was describing his favorite teacher before I gave up on trying to wade through it and jump to the end.
It could have greatly benefited if some dialog with his sister could have come before all of the mad-scientist explanation and plot. Maybe he experiments on his sister while she was still a High School Senior in the year before she left for college? 🤔 I'm not familiar with the original story that you mentioned taking ideas from, but it's possible that going back to that piece of work and studying it for format and plots would have helped you to write a better opening page. 1/5
Anonymous7 months agoThis story is almost identical to a story written by someone else on mcstories.com. I have the distinct feeling that this is a stolen story.
