Molly's Haunted Dildo!!!

This is a work of fiction. All characters are over eighteen years of age.

It was a Saturday night and Molly was home alone. Her husband was on a fishing trip and the kids were at Disneyland with their grandparents, she could finally relax!

Molly Jacobsen was a mom in her late thirties. Short and busty, with sandy blonde hair and a narrow waist, she didn't consider herself a milf, even though she definitely was one. Lately she'd been neglected in the sex department by her husband, she planned to make up for it tonight.

Molly loved her husband and her kids but every once in a while, a woman needs some time to herself. She'd taken a long bubble bath, watched a steamy movie on cable and now she was stretched out in bed naked, ready for a few nice relaxing orgasms!

Molly's husband didn't completely neglect her needs but after all these years, there was no denying the magic was gone. That's what Molly wanted in her sex life, a little magic; something new and different and exciting. She was a believer in crystals and pyramid energy and the like, sometimes she would fantasize about wizards or unicorns in naughty situations.

Molly had a thing for shopping online as well, she liked finding unique items at bargain prices. Tonight she was going to use a new dildo she'd found, it supposedly had mystical energies infused in the design, according to the website. To her it looked like a normal faux-dick; eight inches of sparkly purple plastic. But she was willing to believe!

Molly held it in her hands to warm it, then guided it down to her waiting womanhood. Just shy of her opening the dildo flew off to the side, bumping into her thigh. Weird. She tried it again. It veered off to the other side. Molly held it up to her eyes, examined it closely. It looked supremely normal. She grabbed it with both hands and brought it to her crotch. It would not go in! It was like there was a force-field around her pussy!

"What the heck?" Molly tried slow pressure, repeated stabs, sneaking up from the side, nothing worked! It was like the head of the dildo was the opposite polarity of her pussy. Molly got on all fours, thinking to try a different position. She brought the dildo up from behind.

Whups! Nope, not that hole! The dildo was now trying it's best to wiggle into Molly's tight anus! Molly had to hold on tight or the rubber toy would have impaled itself in her rectum! "No, you stupid thing, not there!" Molly yelled and threw the toy across the room.

"Ouch!"

Molly froze. She was hearing things, right? A tiny voice did not just speak up from the floor where the dildo was now laying.

"What was that for, you bitch? I was just trying to help! Pu-lease!"

Molly looked over the edge of the bed. Just the dildo on the floor, no intruders, no hidden microphone, perfectly normal talking dildo, see them every day, right?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!" yelled Molly, grabbing the sheets and pulling them up to her chest. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"Oh please, did you hear me scream when you pointed me at that mess?" the dildo said. It lay on the floor, doing everything a normal sex toy of it's type would do, which was nothing. Except for talking of course.

"What, how, who, how come..." began Molly.

"Now I'd happily go in your butt, well not happily, you are a woman, but it's better than your gash, ew." The dildo sounded snarky. "I'm Melvin, nice to meet you, I'll be your haunted sex toy for the evening."

Molly was torn; proof of the afterlife, right here on her carpet! But also, there went $19.95 she'd never see again. She wasn't sticking that thing in any holes, no way! "Go away, shoo!" Molly waved her hands at the dildo, hoping whatever was in there would leave, pronto.

"Sorry hun, not budging until I give someone an anal orgasm, then I'll go into the light or whatever. They don't tell us ghosts anything either, can you believe it?" Melvin sounded peeved. "So the story goes, I was deep in the closet when I was alive, my one regret seems to be never giving when it came to sex, so now I have to yada yada yada, booooring!"

Molly had gone from fear to fascination. "Wow, a real spirit! So cool! What's it like? How did you die? How come you picked a dildo? Or did you, did you just wake up there or what? Oh and what's God like? I bet he's tall..."

"Oh for, just shut up, oh my god! What's with all the questions? Just stick me in your butt already, I'll do the rest, come on!" If a purple plastic dildo could sound impatient, then it did, it sounded very impatient.

"Nope, no way, that's exit only!" Molly was adamant. "I let George try going in my butt once, on his birthday? Nuh-huh. Never again." Molly was shaking her head, her mouth set in a thin line. "That's just nasty. I'm never doing that again, ever."

"Well then I'm trapped here for eternity!" wailed Melvin. "Oh wait, no I'm not. Just until someone else puts me up their poop chute! Geeze, wake up!"

Molly thought about it. If she did give in and let this supernatural being inside her how did she know it wouldn't try to posses her? No, too dangerous. She thought about giving the cursed toy away, ideally to an enemy. Throwing it away was an option but Molly worried about the karma of tossing a ghost in the trash.

"Honestly woman, don't you have any gay friends? Just hand me off to someone curious!" Melvin sounded as if he were getting tired of arguing.

Molly began getting dressed again, clearly the mood was gone for the night. "All my friends are housewives like me, and if you think I'm asking any of them if they do butt stuff, think again." Molly said, pulling a t-shirt over her head. "This whole town is pretty conservative, I don't think we're gonna find you anyone anytime soon." She picked the dildo up off the floor. "C'mon, let's have a drink."

Molly and the sex toy were in the kitchen. Molly was having Bloody Marys, Melvin was not. She was complaining about her sex life. "When we first got married, sure, every day, sometimes twice a day! Now? Nothing! Sports, sports sports, god I hate sports!" It wasn't Molly's first Mary.

"Sounds like a normal marriage, look, can we please talk about my problem now? You've been going on about hubby for days, ugh!" If a dildo could roll it's eyes, it... well, you get the idea.

"And he's still so handsome, man, I just wish he'd be a little more frisky!" Molly took out her phone, scrolled through it for a moment, then held it out towards the fake cock. "See, this is George. A hunk, right?"

"Oh Em Gee, you're right! Molly, oh my god! He's gorgeous!" Melvin was definitely interested. "He reminds me of Ryan Reynolds, so dreamy! And this is the guy who's giving you the cold shoulder? What, did he lose the lead out of his pencil?"

"I dunno," slurred Molly. "He got into watching football first. I liked it too, those tight asses, man! But then golf, then baseball, sports just kinda... crept in where our sex life used to be!" Molly wailed the last sentence in tears, mourning the loss of her orgasms.

"Hmm," said Melvin. The dildo thought for a moment. "What kind of sex life did you guys have anyway, more vanilla or more Fifty Shades?"

"Oh, nothing fancy," Molly said, hoping the room would stop spinning soon and having another swallow of her drink. "No whips or shains, I mean chains or anything like that. We'd give each other oral, used different sopitions, stuff like that. Positions! Positions." Molly laid her head on the table. "Just gonna take a lil nap now."

The house was quiet. Eventually a key rattled in the door. George came in, trailing disappointment. "Molly? Honey? We got rained out, terrible thunderstorms. Hello?"

He wandered into the kitchen. Molly was asleep at the kitchen table, an almost empty pitcher of what was probably Bloody Marys beside her, sitting across from what looked like a brand new sex toy. Odd.

"Molly? Hun?" George gently shook his wife's shoulder. He got a delicate snore in return. She was out for the count. She must have been pretty drunk, to sit across the table from that thing instead of using it. He picked it up, intending to put it away.

Much later Molly woke up, bleary eyed and hung over. She looked around her muzzily. She'd fallen asleep in the kitchen, the last thing she remembered was... Wait, where was her new dildo? Was she really talking to it? Was all that some drunken hallucination?

Her head was clearing some. She spied her husband's keys on the counter, when did he get home? What about his fishing trip? Did he take the dildo? Molly got up and headed into the house, calling her husband's name.

"George? George? Where are... Oh my God!" Molly had entered the master bedroom only to see George on the bed, ass in the air, Melvin sticking out of his butt. George's hands were clutching the sheets as Melvin slid in and out of his ass.

"George!" cried Molly. "Melvin, how could you?"

George was moaning in bliss, his rod was sticking down towards the mattress, hard as a rock. "Oh fuck! Yes!" he cried as the dildo rammed itself in and out of his rosebud.

"Take it, bitch!" yelled Melvin the dildo. If a dildo had a face his would be smirking in satisfaction. "I knew it," Melvin said to Molly. "Repressed homosexual urges sublimated into sports. You just need to peg this guy once in a while! Oh yeah, George, you're gonna be Molly's bitch, what do you think about that?"

George didn't answer in words, stimulation finally drove him over the edge and he started cumming, shooting his spunk onto Molly's good sheets and moaning. Molly's first reaction was, ew, but the more she thought about it, the more appealing it became. If she was in charge she'd make damn sure she always had her own orgasm instead of faking it to spare George's feelings.

Suddenly Melvin began to glow. "Oh god, it's happening!" Melvin sang. "Time for the next stage! Thank you Molly, thank you George!" The dildo got brighter and brighter; it flashed brilliant purple-white for a moment, then sagged downwards as it's animating spirit left for parts unknown.

George pulled the now lifeless toy from it's current location with as much dignity as he could muster, tossed it aside. "So, yeah, big thunderstorms, whole county, had to re-schedule. Did you have a good time? Get to relax?"

Molly looked at George for a moment, then burst out laughing. "Oh yeah, real relaxing, finding out your new dildo is haunted by some random gay guy!" She collapsed on the bed, holding her sides and guffawing.

"And then waking up to find it in my ass, how nuts was that? Hahahahaha!" George was less amused, more hoping-his-wife-didn't-explode. Or divorce him. Or remember the combination to the gun safe.

"Ah George, ya big nut." Molly gave her hubby a kiss. "From now on let's talk more in the bedroom, sound like a plan?" She rested her forehead on his, caressed his cheek. She'd never divorce this man, are you kidding, he looks like Ryan Freakin' Reynolds, she'd never get that lucky again!

Let's leave the two of them there on the bed, a newer, possibly better sex life ahead of them, shall we?

The End