by combodrive
A pure BDSM fantasy abuse and rape. Not very erotic. I guess some people like that stuff. I read some BDSM, at times they can be erotic if the author knows how to write. Keep working, proof reading and editing.
How can you get โbutter sprayโ in your eyes but be perfectly fine afterwards. Were you even the person who wrote the first part??
Another want a be writer that doesnโt finish what they started...
YEAH SO FOR WHATEVER REASON THE AUTHOR BAILED ON CONTINUING THE STORY AND OR QUIT ALTOGETHER SO I GIVE ONLY A ONE STAR HOWEVER HOT IT WAS. I HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS FOR WHATEVER REASON! NO ACTIVITY SINCE 6/6/08
Where is Part#3 and 4 . There should be at least that many. He has his sisters and friend under control. and Possibly impregnating them. Where is Mom during this. Will he take control of Mom and what will Dad do about the Pregnant girl's including his wife.
Since this has been languishing, probably in absentia, for so long I can only hazard to guess that we have lost another writer.
Anyone know what has happened?
Vote 1* for every story rated by ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka ANON!
But where is Chapter #3 . it should be the Beginning for Erin and the Beginning for Kate.
So, part one was nothing but a wet dream? You should have made both parts separate stories. This way the whole doesn't make much sense. Two separate masturbatory fantasies stitched together do not a good story make. Sorry! I can tell you are quite young, so don't give up after a few criticisms, keep on writing, practice makes perfect!
Good luck!
Your stories read like the demented fantasies of a nerdy powerless 13-year-old. Seriously, one boy is going to take down 3 women, one of them described as an athlete? Lame.
I thought it was a good story As I said STORY some people just read to much into what people write . It was more of a fantasy . just remember it is your story. and do not let them with the bad comment get you down. just keep writing.
Some people get off to violence against women. You don't apparently, but you get off to something, not someone, or you wouldn't be here on this site would you? I bet there are things you get off to that others find sick. So thanks for commenting, but think before you type. Everyone has their turn-on, the only difference between mine and yours is how much pain and humiliation it takes to get there. So enjoy the other stories MR. Sad, me and MR. Happy are enjoying ourselves in our house, not my parents house.
..and we're not even sure of the connection with the first part. I dont get right why they dont rebel 3 against one boy. But anyway nice reading!
This story was just awful. Please don't write any more.
The chapter lost the eroyic edge the first one had, mostly because our hero became an abusive asshole.
Chapter 1, while implausable, was erotic. This has decended into tripe.
that some readers do not know what type of sex they will be reading if they choose the incest catagory. You did not try to hide this under novels or Humiliation, if you don't like incest don't read it. BTW readers, considering what you will find don't read BDSM if this type of play upsets you, this stuff is fairly mild for a BDSM heading.
Get a life.
Spank a cunt??
Treat women like--------Sick-sick-sick