Mom Knows Best

Again a thank you to blackrandl1958 for her editing talent and encouragement.

"I'd do Mrs. Walsh in a heartbeat."

"Oh yeah, she looks good in those jean shorts."

"How about Mrs. P? She looks pretty good even if she's pregnant almost all the time."

"Her old man is a sluggard, but he's smart enough to know he married a good-looking piece of ass."

"Mrs. Jackson?"

"That churchy bitch? I want to stick my dick in her mouth until she drools, then come down her throat. You can fuck her, but I'd bet she'd complain the whole fucking time. She wouldn't be able to bitch with my dick in her mouth."

The preceding was a random conversation between two 18-year-old boys that could have taken place in any city or town in the United States. You get the picture.

******

"Hey Jerkface, could you help my mother and me build a small greenhouse on Saturday? Payment would be a home-cooked dinner, a 12-pack of pop and a day with me and my mom," Diane Holley, a University of Houston sophomore said to her friend, Josh Beachy.

The pair was sitting in the dining commons eating lunch on a Wednesday afternoon in late March. Diane was a towny, but paid a fee to be able to eat at the school three days a week, rather than taking a 30-minute drive back to her house in between morning and afternoon classes. Josh, a fellow soph, lived in a dorm, but he and Diane had become friends as they had several classes together.

Josh was good with both a home-cooked meal and the pop. He also didn't mind spending time with Diane, who in addition to being a friend was also a good-looking woman with a tendency to underdress. On this particular day, Diane was sitting across from him wearing a tight dark blue T-shirt that didn't completely undersell her small boobs and erect nipples underneath and low-rise jeans that showed off her taut abdominals.

Josh knew that he would never be more than good friends with Diane. He was good with that. It was never a bad thing to have good-looking friends, he thought. Just as easy to have pretty friends as ugly friends.

"Yeah, I'm in," Josh answered. "Like I told you, my dad and I built one of these. We can get it done in a few hours."

Josh was dumbfounded when the door opened at Diane's house early Saturday afternoon. His friend never told him she had a sister who looked like a doppelganger plus 10 years.

"I-I'm Josh," he stammered. "I'm here to help Diane and your mom build a greenhouse."

The woman's pretty face broke into a very becoming smile. He noticed she had the same dark brown hair and big brown doe eyes that Diane did. She was also wearing a T-shirt and jeans, both tight enough that he could see her body was very similar to Diane's.

"I am the mom," she said brightly, watching as Josh's mouth at first dropped open before morphing into a smile of his own. "I'm Lori."

"Hey Jerkface, stop perving on my mom and let's get to work," Diane said as she walked up behind her mother.

Josh blushed a deep red. Busted.

Led by Josh, the trio had the greenhouse together in several hours. Lori had to take several breaks to check on the lasagna that was cooking in the oven.

Josh totally enjoyed the lasagna and salad. He also enjoyed the conversation at the table.

"Are you going to the Pike's party next Saturday?" Diane asked Josh about the upcoming Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity party that was a big event on campus every spring.

"Wasn't planning on it," he replied. "I try to stay away from the frat guys. Most are a bunch of losers."

"Hey, Greg's a frat guy," Diane said about her occasional boyfriend. "You like Greg, don't you?"

"I said most, not all, are losers, remember?" he answered. "Besides, I don't have a date."

"I can fix that one for you. Mom can be your date. She can wear something of mine, look hot," Diane said.

"If you're going to do that, then yeah, I'll be there," Josh blurted out.

Both women's heads snapped to face Josh, who blushed profusely.

"You really are a perv," Diane laughed.

"No, no. I mean if she's going to dress like you, she's going to need somebody to keep the gropers at bay," Josh quickly responded.

"Actually, he's probably not wrong," Diane said.

"And you want me to go... dressed like you? Without a bodyguard?" Lori asked.

"Can I reserve you?" she asked Josh, who tried hard not to resemble a bobblehead as he nodded in agreement.

"No problem," he said with a huge grin.

"And I'm assuming you're taking Greg?" Lori asked.

"Oh yeah," Diane said.

Josh had agreed to meet the women and Greg at the Pike House the next Saturday. His eyes got huge as the trio approached him.

"Not a word, Josh!" Lori admonished him when they got to him. "I can't believe I agreed to this!"

Josh let his eyes do the talking for him. She was wearing one of Diane's jean miniskirts that started on her hips and ended at mid-thigh. The white cotton crop top finished just below her ribcage, leaving several inches of skin on display above the skirt. From the look of the top, she was braless, as well.

Josh's eyes about fell out of his head. Diane and Greg both laughed while Lori reddened from her head to her toes showing out of her three-inch heeled sandals.

"You'd better stay right next to me all night long, young man!" Lori hissed.

"Yes, ma'am," Josh croaked out.

"First off, close your mouth, perv-boy," Diane giggled. "Second, it's Lori, not ma'am, not Mrs. Holley. Got it?"

"Whooo," Josh whispered, nodding his head.

Reflexively, Josh stuck out his hand to Lori. She took it, then the two went into the party.

"God, I feel like I'm naked and everybody's looking at me," she whispered to Josh.

"Well, you're not quite naked, but everybody is sort of looking," he whispered back. "You look really hot."

Lori blushed again from head to toe.

"You know that's really adorable when you do that," he whispered again.

Diane and Greg went off in one direction. Lori stuck to Josh like... she was his girlfriend, keeping her hand in his or holding onto his arm the whole time. He noticed she was especially careful when she sat down in her short skirt, obviously trying not to show her panties to anyone in the room.

It wasn't long before a young man asked Lori to dance, looking her up and down as he did so. She flushed once again and shook her head, small, nervous shakes. The man stayed in front of Lori and stretched out his hand.

"That's a no in case you missed it," Josh told the young man, who frowned.

"You her son?" the student sneered.

"No, I'm her boyfriend, and you're about to lose some teeth," Josh growled.

The other student looked sharply at Josh. He was at least two inches taller and 30 pounds heavier than Josh's 6-2, 180 pounds. There was something in the smaller man's eyes that didn't make him comfortable. He walked away.

"That was quick. Now you're my boyfriend?" she teased, smiling brightly.

"Absolutely. I made an executive decision," Josh answered seriously.

He stuck his hand out and she again put hers into it. He guided her over to the bar, and over to a quiet corner after he got Cokes for both.

The two spent the next three hours telling each other about their lives. Josh learned that Diane's mother was married for 10 years before her then-husband cheated on her. She had been divorced for the last 10 years.

"I know it's rude to ask a woman her age, but..."

"I'm 40. It's okay. You should know how old your girlfriend is," she giggled.

The two left the party soon after and headed over to a Starbucks near campus. Lori was fidgety as they walked in and tried to pull her skirt a bit lower, although it didn't budge from her hips.

"I'm more than a little uncomfortable dressed like this in public," she admitted. "I'm too old to be walking around like some 20-year-old hottie."

"But you're not too old to be walking around like some 40-year-old hottie. I think you look sexy as hell," Josh rasped.

"You're not embarrassed to be seen in public with me dressed like this?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Truthfully, I love the way you're dressed. I'd take you anywhere dressed like that."

She blushed yet again, then stood fidgeting as Josh ordered coffees for both.

"Diane is right. You are a perv," she joked.

"Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that you are a sexy woman."

Both blushed at that statement and sipped their coffee.

They talked for a while longer before Josh drove Lori home. He walked her to the door, where she gave him a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I had a great time. You're a nice guy for a perv," she said.

Diane and Josh had a class together Monday morning at 9, but she got in just before the class started and wound up sitting on the other side of the room from him. The two never got a chance to talk until she walked in to the dining commons at lunch, carrying a tray loaded with food. Josh always wondered how a girl that thin could eat that much and yet keep her figure.

"Hey, perv, have a good time with my MOM Saturday night at the Pike house? How about after?" she said in a jovial manner as she sat down.

Once upon a time, Josh never used to blush. Since Saturday night it had become a regular occurrence. He did it again and tried to answer her question and/or defend himself, but nothing came out of his mouth. Seeing the blank look on his face told her everything she needed to know. She wasn't going to let him off the hook.

"I know, she did look hot Saturday night," Diane confirmed to both of them. "Greg and I both thought you were going to lose your shit when you first saw her.

"You really liked that look, didn't you, perv-boy?"

Josh dropped his head, embarrassed that she had seen through him so easily.

"Jesus, Josh, she's my MOM for God sake. You wanted to BANG her Saturday night. I could tell."

She giggled adorably. It was the very same giggle that her mother had, Josh noted. He looked up to find her staring at him, not unkindly.

"For what it's worth, Josh, she said you were a perfect gentleman and upheld her honor once. She also said she had a nice time.

"She also said that you really liked her outfit."

"Yeah," Josh gasped.

"And yet somehow, dumbass, you didn't get her phone number."

Josh's mouth opened in surprise, then closed. His eyes glazed over.

"You didn't do that because you were being a gentleman. You froze. You choked," she chided her friend.

"Aarrgghh!" he huffed, then looked back at the woman. "Wait a minute. She's your mom. Of course you've got her number."

Diane gave him a look he couldn't decipher.

"You don't think I'd actually give you her phone number SO YOU COULD CALL MY MOM TO ASK HER FOR A DATE?"

"Uh... maybe... uh... yeah, actually," Josh finally choked out. "I mean, not a date DATE, you know. Just maybe we could get some coffee... or something."

"Dude, you're 19 years old. She's 40. She's probably the same age as your MOTHER. Don't you think you're punching a little above your weight class here. Not to mention that she's my MOTHER," Diane exploded.

Josh was at a total loss for an answer. He took several bites of his lunch to formulate a response.

"I just want to talk to her some more," he said weakly. "We really hit it off the other night... And yeah, she is a good-looking babe."

"Not winning points by calling my mom a babe, Jerkface," she reiterated. "But she really is, when she turns it loose a bit. She almost didn't leave the house after she got dressed in my stuff Saturday night. She probably wouldn't have if she was going someplace where people would know her."

She started to laugh before choking on a bite of fish.

"Serves you right, bitch," Josh said as she quickly took a sip of his pop.

A serious look came across the girl's face.

"She needs to go out with you again. Seriously. She has hardly dated since Dad screwed her over, and Saturday night was the best time she's had out with a guy since the divorce. You got something to write on? Here's her number."

Lori was surprised when Josh called Wednesday and asked her out on a date for Saturday night. The young man was timid, and while Lori had found him to be good company last week, she came to the realization that a 19-year-old boy, a friend of her daughter's, was asking her out on a real date.

"Umm... are you sure about this, Josh?" she asked, probably as timidly as Josh asked her. "A date... an actual date?"

"Yes, Lori, I'm sure. I had a good time with you last Saturday, and I think you had a good time with me. We'll get something to eat, maybe go out dancing. We can talk some more," he said.

"Dancing, with me? Wouldn't that be like dancing with your own mother? Wouldn't that be kind of weird for you?" she asked.

"You definitely don't look like anyone's mom that I know," Josh said. "Please. It will be fun."

Lori could hear the pleading tone in his voice.

"Okay, since you were my guardian last week, I guess I owe you. I'd love to go out with you this week."

Josh tried not to let his disappointment show when Lori answered the door Saturday night in a skirt about two inches above her knees and a "nice" blouse. Lori smiled to herself, figuring that this would be the last time Josh would want a date.

The two had a nice dinner at Olive Garden before they went out dancing. They spent a lot of time talking again, and Lori had to admit to herself that she enjoyed the young man's company. He again walked her to the door at the end of the evening, but this time she just said good night and turned to go in the door.

"W-wait a minute," Josh said, not quite timidly. "First you give me the bland clothing look, now I don't even get a kiss?"

Lori looked surprised. She didn't figure the young man had that kind of nerve. She smiled and moved toward Josh, prepared to give him a kiss on his cheek, but when she leaned in he turned his head and planted his best kiss on the woman, quickly snaking his tongue inside her mouth.

"Mmm," she moaned into his mouth, half in shock and half in pleasure.

"The boy can kiss," she thought to herself.

"The woman can kiss," Josh thought to himself.

Monday at lunch Josh was anxious to find out from Diane what her mother thought about the date. He was pleased when Diane told him Lori said she enjoyed herself.

"You do know she was trying to let you down easy, dressing like your mom. She didn't want to hurt your feelings, but she figured if she dressed like herself, you wouldn't want to go out with her anymore," Diane said. "Also, she was really uncomfortable dressed like me."

"Yeah, but she looked really hot," Josh said.

"You can't be perving on my mom, Josh," she giggled. "Seriously."

"Not even a little bit, Di? Please?" he pleaded.

"Okay, but just a little," she answered.

Josh waited two weeks before calling for another date. He was feeling more confident this time around. Lori was very surprised to get the call.

"I know you were trying to cool me down with your mom outfit last time. Didn't work. So how about this time you let Diane pick out the outfit?"

Josh heard the soft gasp on the other end of the line. He pictured Lori doing that full-body blush that he found adorable.

"Okay," she whispered, "But we can't go to anyplace I normally go, not dressed like that."

"Dressed like what?" he asked, not innocently.

"Like... like a young woman dressing to impress," she breathed out.

"Well, color me impressed," Josh said, sure the woman was blushing on the other end of the line.

The next time Josh saw Diane, he told her that Lori had agreed to let her pick out the outfit for the pair's next date. Diane raised her eyebrows and smiled brightly.

"Full slut?" she asked.

"I would probably like that, but I'm pretty sure your mom wouldn't be happy, and that wouldn't be good for me. Plus, I don't want to have to beat somebody's ass because she looks too good," he said. "I'm thinking miniature golf and barbecue."

Lori answered the door in a pair of short, tight jean shorts and a red T-shirt crop top on date night. Josh couldn't stop himself as he looked the woman up and down. As he expected, she automatically did the full-body blush thing.

"No too much, is it?" she asked shyly. "Diane seems to think you are some kind of a perv."

Josh dropped his eyes and blushed in return.

"Well... she does know me pretty well... and yeah... I think you look pretty good with less clothing..."

"I'm an old lady, Josh. Y-you can't be serious," she said.

"You are hardly an old lady, Lori. I think you are one hell of a sexy woman," he asserted.

"Thank you, I think," she giggled nervously.

Once she got over her anxiety about her outfit, or lack thereof as she referred to it, Lori again enjoyed the evening with the young man. As they were finishing their meal, two college students--a man and a woman--stopped at their table to say hello to Josh. He noticed Lori fidgeting in her chair as she tried to adjust her shorts while he made introductions. He nonchalantly took her hand and gave his head a tiny shake.

"She was looking at me like..." Lori started to say softly before Josh interrupted.

"Like she was checking out the competition, babe," Josh said. "You women are very competitive. I'm pretty sure you passed inspection. She was worried that her boyfriend was eyeing you too much."

Lori invited Josh into the house for a cup of coffee when the young man drove her home. Within minutes the two were kissing intensely on the sofa. Lori responded eagerly when Josh's tongue sought hers in her mouth. She felt her body responding to the young man's touch, something that she had not experienced very often since she split from her husband.

Things might have gone farther but the pair heard a car pull into the driveway and knew it was Diane and Greg. They separated and Lori quickly pulled her shorts out of her crotch and down her butt before her daughter and Greg entered the house.

"Hey, you two, good night out?" Diane asked with a smirk on her face.

Lori blushed deeply and mumbled an affirmative as Diane walked over to Josh, took the middle finger of her left hand and wiped a splotch of lipstick from the side of his mouth.

"I'd say that's a yes, wouldn't you, Greg?" Diane said.

"Umm... there's fresh coffee in the pot," Lori volunteered.

"We're not invading your space, are we, Mom. We can leave," Diane said. "You don't have a problem, do you, Jerkface?"

"No, we're good," Josh answered with a crooked smile on his face.

Lori and Josh continued to date after coming to a compromise about her wardrobe. She would dress like her daughter most of the time the two were together, but would dress like the banker she was when the two did something in what Josh referred to as "Lori's world." For the latter, Josh would wear dress slacks and open-necked dress shirts, so they would appear as more of a couple and less as a "cougar chasing a younger man," Lori explained.

"I still like the half-dressed look much better," Josh said with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, I know, but I can't do that in front of my friends and co-workers. I'd die of embarrassment. Hell, I practically die of nerves any time we go out. I know I've accidentally flashed half the world in those shorts and skimpy tops you so like," she said with a smile.

"Diane keeps telling me not to worry about it. It happens to every woman from time to time. I should only worry if no one looks when that happens."

While Josh really liked Lori, he had to admit he was somewhat confused about how to proceed with the woman because of her age. The pair had engaged in some heavy make-out sessions, but Josh was careful to watch where he placed his hands, and was unsure how far he could go. Lori realized the young man was holding back out of respect.

"Josh, baby, if this is going to work you have to be yourself," Lori said one time when she felt him holding back when they were kissing. "Pretend for a second you were doing this with my daughter..."