All Comments on 'Mommy is All I Want For Christmas'

You did a very good job describing the social culture in a "coal town". I enjoyed the build up and mental surrender.

This is the first story of yours that I have read and I enjoyed it 5 stars worth. Thank you for your story.

While I appreciated that you wanted to describe the town and the people in it to add colour to the story, I thought it was getting monotonous and boring.

I think that you have to remember that this is Literotica.com, not a vehicle to practice writing a war and peace novel.

Still keep trying.

This is such an enjoyable break for all those stories that have no character development or storyline. I need to read a more realistic story, as this one was, than a porn script to get off.

I can't count the times I stopped reading a story because they launched into sex without even describing the characters. For me, at least, I need for the writer to engage me.

Perhaps, the commentor below should not read this writer, a real writer, and read some of the other garbage that fills this site and ruins it for the rest of us, who have a brain in our heads.

This was top notch erotic entertainment and I loved it. Great, great, great. I gave you a 5 vote and if I could have given you a 100 vote, I would.

Thank you for making my day a better one.

Your writting is very good, the story took to long to develop, fuck stories need to get you there.

I know this is not a family site.I enjoy the back drop story you create for your venue. I appreciate your entertaining stories and the lives you portray.

Thank you for those who have read and voted for my story.

Some of the comments say the story is too long. When I write a shorter story, they say it's too short.

My creative writing teacher used to enjoy telling his students, when asked how long of a story he wanted and he replied, as long as it takes to tell the story, no more and no less.

I think in this instance this story needed to be a bit longer to show the reader that the mother was afraid of crossing the incest line, that is, until she read what he son wrote in his notebook.

Use your space to describe the sexual foreplay. Leave the family mumbo jumbo out. Foreplay is a far better arousal mechanism then a dead husband.

If life was only about foreplay, how grand would that be?

Unfortunately, all the mumbo jumbo of life gets in the way of foreplay, doesn't it?

Sometimes getting lost in some fictional fantasy is just as good or a nice prelude to some foreplay.

Thanks for reading my story...I think (lol).

I liked the description of what always took place during "sleep". I only wish that you described a little more when it came to the intercourse - such as him stroking your pussy ....etc.

Really enjoyed the long and detailed prelude - made the end even more enjoyable and sexy! A five star read.

Outstanding story brilliant writing. love this story your stories only getting better and better. so very exiting to read, and so very hot and really horny. i never get fail to get turn on with your awesome writing.

most excellent thank you for this one jr.

it would have been shorter and maybe, 2 pages. In my opinion the author didn't do what his writing teacher suggested - to write as long as it took to tell the story. The beginning could have been cut significantly, since it was mostly unimportant and not sexy, and the quandery could have still been emphasized without repeating the same thoughts so many times. Better if a bit shorter.

very real , was it? either way wonderful story

kathy2b46

Got me hott right away and very well written, descriptive as well.

This wasn't the worst story ever written, only the most confused. I invite anyone to take out a piece of paper and try and track the action; just the last page had the son's private parts inside, in her hand, in her oral cavity, and back. The mother portrayed is not a tender agrieved mother but, umm, a tramp. A tender mother doesn't offer to go down on her loving son when the most meaingful act is the act of love and not foreplay.

To the last basher, I mean, commentor.

If you took the time to actually read the story, instead of just bashing it, you'd realize that the mother was imagining having her son's cock in her hand, in her mouth, and in her pussy.

If you are confused, my story has nothing to do with your confusion. I suspect this is a constant and continual state for you.

If you don't like me and/or my stories, thank you for not reading any more of my stories.

I believe you both got your christmas wish. Nice fucking.

Hi Susan this is Terry thanks soooooooooooo much for this story, very persoanl from you the mother to your stepson, i had to laugh at page 3 i think you mentioned public hair, that was a line i liked to use to my wife and some other girls, they always giggl;ed and said like it woill ever be public

thanks Susan i gave you a 5 star

love to meet and or meat you in the flesh

terry

This is the firt time that I've read anything written by this author. Nice job and very creative with lots of details included. Wishing you good luck in this contest.

the only bad thing I can see is that hubby died at 47...she's 38... son 23... So she was 15 when she had the kid and hubby was 24 when he was born as well.......

I thought he story dragged a little, but everything else was good.

Thanks for the read

Had you read the story, maybe you did and don't have reading comprehension, but had you understood, you would have realized that she's a stepmother. Hello? That's not her son. She's been caring for him, since he was 8-years-old and she was 23-years-old, when she married her 32-year-old husband.

Do you understand now or should I put it on the blackboard for you?

I liked the line about having your own personal pacifier. Good luck in the contest.

Liked the story line,,,,didn't like stepson,,,Looking forward to more of the same in the future,,you;ve got a special place in my heart. Syd

More garbage from one of Literotica's leading garbage producers...BOSTONFICTIONWRITER! Once again, he's put on his "girl" costume and is trying to pass the first of MANY stories that will be entered into this contest as the work of one of his exes'. GIVE US A BREAK FREDDIE! Pretty much the only positive comments that will be posted on an andtheend story are going to be from BFW alts. Everyone else can see this for the drivel and refuse that it is. A waste of contest space and since this one is so long, an utter waste of time as well.

Please, Laurel and Manu! End the misery for your worthwhile contibuting authors. Please get rid of BostonFictionWriter (and all alts) and Scouries (and all alts.) Clean up your contests, clean up your forums, and make Literotica a fun place to be again. Get rid of the rabble-rousers/shit stirrers/whiny idiots.

Jealous because you cannot write as well as I can that you have to defame and insult a writer, while hiding yourself beneath the cloak of anonmity? Why not just write a story?

Go ahead, I dare you. This is a story site, after all. Now, tell me, why would Laurel and Manu ban someone from writing a story? Wouldn't they be more apt to ban someone like the likes of you for bashing the work of authors and making an ass of yourself?

The incredible amount of commas and short sentences ruin the story. Also, this story goes out of it's way to be 'realistic' yet the dialogue is so childish.

And LOL at looking like Kim Basinger:

"Ray said I looked like Kim Basinger, only prettier and, admittedly, I did back then, before I put on a few pounds."

give me a break

To the basher below. Thank you for raising my story higher on the 7 day list. Please give me more bashing comments, so that my story can make the 30 day list. You're doing a good job keeping my story in the lime light. Thank you very much.

You want to bash me? You want to bash my story?

At least identify yourself. Log in so we all know what a low life piece of shit you really are.

It's obvious that you didn't even read the story. It's obvious you are not capable of writing your own story because if you could, you'd have more respect for the writers who write here.

Don't listen to these negative comments. I thought this stroy was hot and I came twice before getting to the end. Please keep up the good writing

A lot of you bashers are missing the truly profound talent that this writer demonstrates in the overwhelming breadth of his work. Incredibly profound. As in deep. If you would bother to look deep, deep, deep down and find the unique, singular gem of a sentence glinting within each story and combine it with the gems from each of his hundreds of other stories, you would have hundreds of beautiful little gems which you could then combine in various ways which very likely would produce, eventually, the greatest erotic story anyone has ever read here.

Almost like...hmm...like a hundred monkeys typing on typewriters...?

The best thing about andtheend stories are the caustically defensive replies he can't seem to resist making. Very amusing.

Thank you, Mom...I think.

WHILE EYE COULD NEVER RIGHT A STORY,ANY WHERE AS GOOD AS EWE DEW.THE ONES EWE WROTE THAT EYE HAVE RED WERE ALL EXTREMELY GOOD. EYE ALL-SEW ENJOY READING COMMENTS..WHICH BRINGS UP THIS THOUGHT.. EYE FOUND OUT THAT, EYE AM A LOT MORE INTELLIGENT THAN EYE THOUGHT..THE PROOF IS ; THAT SHOULD EYE FIND A BOOK THAT EYE WAS READING TWO BEE BORING, EYE WOOD SIMPLY STOP READING IT..LOL!!THEIR-FOUR EYE WOOD KNOT HAVE TWO POST ANY COMMENTS..AS FOR THOSE THAT WANTED IT SHORTER..ALL I CAN SAY " I LIKED IT & HAD OUR AUTHOR SHORTENED IT, WELL THEN IT WOULD NOT BE THE SAME STORY"..JOE

The next one of you monkeys that leaves a comment on my stories will not get any more bananas. Repeat. No more bananas.

Now get back to work. I need another story.

Where'd Bonzo go?

Uh oh. Freddie's losing it again.

The story was a great one. I really liked it. It was a good plot and you described everything really well.

And, it seems funny how you have been telling the people who comment on your stories things or correcting them. I don't think most of them check if their comments have got some replies. But, yeah... you just seem quite different when you do that.

Keep it up. And, Good Luck for contest.

That was fucking great I have never been this emotional sence I found out santa may not exist if you know what I mean that is I was 10 when I found out

It's not bad enough they bash my story, but now they spam my story with advertisements for a video link of Bollywood Moms.

What's next (lol)?

All in all, I liked this story. Sure, it's not the strokefest some readers get off on (read not a reel of fuck scenes connected by something only loosely defined as a plot). For those readers I suggest "Dale's Special Family".

While I thought the backstory a little long, it certainly does set the stage for the emotional issues the protagonist had to face, then overcome, all while still maintaining some sense of her or personal dignity/morality.

Clearly you know how you want to tell a tale. Don't sweat the haters. I, for one, think you a talented writer.

Why is the voting turned off on all your red H stories? It's as though you turned off the voting just in time to freeze those little red Hs. But isn't that against the rules of Literotica? You can only have the red H if you LEAVE THE VOTING TURNED ON.

Strangely enough, Bostonfictionwriter has done the same thing with all of his red H stories.

Actually, it is not against the rules of Literotica to turn off the voting. What it does though is excludes me from winning the contest.

Why do I turn off the voting? Because of whackos like you who take pleasure in erasing the red H's of authors that have spent time and considerable effort to write free stories for the pleasure of readers. Many authors have turned off the voting on their red H stories, PrincessErin for one.

Now, let me ask you a question? Why are you such an asshole on Thanksgiving Day. What did your mother do to raise such a miserable fuck as yourself to piss on everyone's story.

Your IP address has been reported.

Have a happy holiday.

Liked the character development. The editing, however, needs another visit.

i liked your story it started a little slow but thats ok it was good. i dont want to sound stupid but as a new reader here i dont know what a red h story is can u answer that question for me?

This could have been half as long and not lost a thing in the telling. All the "I couldn't believe how ashamed I was, but I was so horny" were a bit silly. There was just too much of it.

What I can't believe is the ignorance and stupidity of some of our readers.

Hi andtheend,

I enjoyed some of this story. I appreciatd getting the backstory of the characters but felt you repeated yourself a little when explaining that. I'm not sure if you get your stories proofread, but a good proofreader will be able to point out to you that you've already adressed something and reduce unnecessary repetition in your writing.

I could also relate to the step-mother's dilemma of wanting her step-son, but fearing to make the first move. The only thing I didn't like about that was what she said near the end when he was finally confessing his thoughts about her. She told him twice that he needed to put those dirty thoughts out of his head (or something to that effect). She was doing that to limit her feelings of guilt, by putting the guilt onto her stepson. That was emotional cowardice in my book but I guess that's merely a preference of mine, so I can't fault you for having her behave in a way that doesn't quite tie in to my personal tastes.

What I did wish to raise with you was the matter of verb tense. At times, I got quite confused about what was coming, what had just happened and what had happened long ago, because you mixed your verb tenses. Again, I feel this is something that a good proofreader could have addressed with you.

Please don't insult me as you did a previous commenter who said that they were confused. I am not trying to bash here, but just offer some feedback from my point of view. Feel free to discard it if you don't like it or agree with it.

I only wish to say that I think this story would be even better if some issues of clarity were cleared up.

All the best,

CuriousAusGal

Gee a bit overboard eh?

This just seemed to repeat the same few phrases too much. I guess that's what the loopy person before meant and not the loopy like in crazy?

The basic set up of shared grief and being lonely and vulnerable was a good theme for the category but the back and forth from real to imaginary thoughts was too tedious to follow after a while, especially as it was nearly always the same words. I've tried a couple more of your stories in the category and it seems like a set style you use of flipping freely back and forth while unfolding a tale.

I'll try to find one more that's a newer effort to see if anything changes. Anyway, thanks for sharing your efforts.

By the way, your earlier remark about story length is spot on. If a story is well told, the length is, by default, just perfect. People who want "a two-pager" or "less than four" pages are kind of like the types who search for a perfect lover or wife that is five feet five inches tall and no more no less - all other ladies need not apply. Too funny!

Being too wordy happens when you keep repeating a thought over and over again. Overkill on the fluff.

Keeping talking about her dead husband all throughout the story was overkill and ruined it for the readers at least the ones who has common since

SHE WANTS HIM TO FUCK BUT BUT SHE DON'T WANT HIM TO FUCK HER OVER AND OVER AGAIN! SHE WANTS TO SUCK HIS COCK BUT SHE DON'T WANT TO SUCK HIS COCK OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I GIVE YOU CREDIT ON FINDING A HUNDRED WAY TO SAY THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

We get it. The husband died. No need to mention it 300 times.

I liked the story but the stepmother did not deserve her son. She did not accept him as a sexual human being who is/was her equal. She wan ted him but also wanted to maintain her position as mother controller. She wanted someone to blame after the fact. Finally, it is apparent that sgtep mother and son never talked, after 23 years. In a mutually consensual incestuous relationship the following must exist: (1) There is no positional powerplay. Each partner is recognied and accepted as a sexual being with equal statyus. (2) There is no implied nor actual threat of emotional abandonment. (3) There is no implied nor actual physical abuse. (4) Finally, after the initial sexual act, the partners/lovers must be willing to honestly discuss how they feel about what happened and whether or not they wish to continue the relationship.