All Comments on 'Mom's Surprise'

And take that title as a compliment. I enjoyed the setup and the narration was very good. Your dialogue, however, needs work.

Some of the dialogue was like a monologue and people don't speak like that. The shared conversations became weird, almost disturbing. I suggest you read those lines out loud and judge yourself if they sound natural.

Dialogue should be short and sharp with some broken spaces - an 'um' or an 'oh' and use ellipsis (three dots...) to indicate an incomplete sentence. Those techniques will make the story a faster read and also make it more believable.

I write this in hope it will aid your future output. Thanks for sharing.

Loved the story, and hope you will consider writing a sequel, would love to know how this pans out. Does Matt end up wearing knickers or more? Do they do more than masturbate for each other? does Mom take control and tell Matt what to do?

But hey your the one writing the story so it is of course up to you if you want to take it further and if so what direction.

Rgds Al

I loved the story but you ended it just as they got going!! Talk about cum-blocking!! There needs to be a followup chapter with what happens next. Also, it would help give the reader a better mind's eye picture if you gave a physical description of the characters. She's pretty and 5' 2" and his cock is the same size as her dildo but that's pretty much all we know. Hair color, what size tits, cock, shaved/natural, etc.?

Great story hope theres a 2nd chapter.

Many lads use mom's panties to masturbate. Mom usually knows and many are subtle but leave son pungent panties for pleasure. After the initial shock, it is flattering and fun to know son is jerking off for mom.

One of the best mommy pantie sniffing stories I've read. More please.

So far so good! I've given this story five stars in the hope that there will be a next chapter. I feel like a jockey riding a fast horse that's just about to win the race when it just stops in its tracks, not finishing the race. What a let down. I was getting up a head of steam and then, nothing. There is so much more to explore with his mother and she was giving him all the opportunity possible. Looking hopefully to a next chapter.

I too loved the story, as Anon wrote I too am hoping for a sequel. But Anon is right, it's your story, if this is all that we get then so be it. We will savor what you have given us.

Thank you for sharing. 5*

The build up was awesome but then it was over so fast. Add a part 2 and keep the panty stuff going.

There was no sex to speak of. There should have been some serious fucking going on here.

Thought your story was awesome! I really hope you continue this story!!!!

5stars!!!!! Great story so far, hope you continue with chapter 2. It was just getting really going when it ended? Please continue the story, the son needs to sucking on mommy's big titty and eat her juicy pussy too!

There should be a 2nd part or a follow up for this story. It's too good to end here.

You have a lot of talent. I was pretty well hooked on the story, but it ended too abruptly.

Love the story, so beautiful. I am also a panty fan. My fetish also started with my moms panties. Love everything about dirty panties. I often sniff and lick my wife’s. I also like to wear hers when I master bate.

I hope you continue the series

Sonny was offered to fuck her and all he did was jack off??? What an idiot!

Mom knew I used her panties but never said anything. She caught me spying on her but never said anything. I tried to put the moves on her a few times but she stopped me there.

Stupid kid, offered to fuck him and he doesn’t even eat her, get a blowjob or touch her pussy???? He is really a dumb shit no wonder his girlfriend dumped him!!!

If you do an encore make sure there is actual penetration incest instead of the pantry fetish. Geez :( .

Just an average story and where's the incest I think he's an idiot can't even fuck a woman when he's asked if he want's to maybe he's gay and just loves hard meat!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to continue with more and get him to fuck his mother, gave it 3 stars cause no sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just 4 stars there's no sex please continue????

cinnamon rolls take hours and hours to make. but overall a sweet and sexy story.

Any boy that age would have said YES to her offer, believe me! Sure those pussy-scented panties are great, but the pussy itself is what a boy wants. Thus was kind of a cock-tease story, and left one unfulfilled.

WTF?

Great build up.

Note that my Bacall are aching, I’m going to go find one I can try off on ,

The mom seemed to know what is coming. I hoped for her to be more assertive when the panties were removed.