Monogamish - Bachelorette Party Day 01

Noor had just said 'cocks'! Out loud. In public.

Just then, Patty squealed and pointed across the main drag. I recognized the name of one of the fancy, overpriced 'craft' bars she was always yammering about when we first settled on New Orleans.

"Oh come on, Patty," Kerrie moaned.

"Please," Patty wheedled, looking at me, then Linda, then me again. "One drink. I'm buying!"

Oh, well if she was going to be reasonable about it...

We trooped happily over to the place. The sign at the entrance probably cost more than all the furniture in the lesbo bar we had just escaped.

The bouncer stared at us in increasing alarm as we bore down on him. He looked like he was probably an ex-Tulane football player establishing a career in the field he was most qualified for: Being extremely large.

He raised his hands out forbiddingly as we surrounded him.

"Hi there!" Patty chirped, taking the lead. "I know there is a lot of us, but we really want to just have one cocktail. My friend here," she said, pointing at me, "is getting married!"

I backed her play by sticking out my chest and smiling.

"Ladies, I'm sorry," the guy, who had to be our age at most, said in a reluctant tone. "I can't let you in here. We... we have a strict, uh, dress code," he finished in a strangled whisper.

"Of course," Patty wheedled on. "But we all know dress codes are kind of a judgement thing at heart, right? You look like you have excellent judgement," she added, letting her hand drag down his muscular arm.

Poor guy was in anguish. His eyes wanted to ogle all of us at once, but outright drooling over us would have severely undermined the authority of his refusal. "No tee shirts, no cut or torn garments, no shorts... that short," he babbled, desperately reciting rules his under-siege brain was screaming were bullshit.

Now, most of us did not give a shit about drinking in this joint. But not one of us were used to being turned away by doormen! Quite the opposite. He was now... a challenge.

Sixteen tits thrust his way, and eight toothy smiles turned up to eleven.

"Oh, come on and help me out," Linda cooed at him encouragingly. "What kind of maid of honor am I, if I can't get my bachelorette into one of her biggest bucket list bars?" She waved at me.

No way I could lie about this bar being important to me, so I just smiled even more brightly and tugged at my cleavage formed by my impermissibly cut, impermissible anyway, teeshirt.

"Guys, please," he begged us. "Seriously. I wouldn't just get fired for letting you in. My boss would make the next batch of the sausage balls out of my guts!"

I could not believe it. None of us could, as we saw his spine visibly stiffen and his jaw set in resolve.

We, all of us, had been stonewalled... by a doorman! It was an affront.

I mean, we could still have gotten past him. One of us could have blown him while the rest waltzed right in. But that is not how the game is played.

Besides, Patty was the only one of us sufficiently motivated to go for it at the moment, and then we'd be inside and she'd be outside, drinking a different cocktail than she had wanted in the first place.

Plus, he really would have been fired, and none of us would do that to the guy.

But Patty was pissed at him, though her smile of anger suddenly morphed into a smile of evil. "Well, I think we have to respect a guy who is so dedicated," she said softly. "We'll go elsewhere to drink and play Suck for Two Bucks... have you ever heard of it?"

I knew he had read it on our shirts, and the non-terrorized portion of his brain had wondered. He swallowed and shook his head.

"It's a bridal party game," Patty said brightly. "Guys give one of us two bucks, like Amy the bride there," she said, waving toward me. I backed her game with more waving boobage. "Then he gets to suck a candy off her shirt!"

"You should try it," Melody said softly.

Patty quietly shoved two dollars into the bouncer's hand, and everybody stepped back, away from me. I just stayed right in front of him.

He made an abortive attempt to lean forward and I stopped him. "Tut tut! Two dollars?"

He handed me the money just given to him and bent again. He was really tall (as well as wide), bigger even than my and Todd's good buddy Hassan, and he had to bend way over. By the time he bent over far enough to reach my tits, I had to put his hands on my hips for balance.

He looked me in the eyes wildly, and I just said, "Take your pick."

He took a deep breath and delicately, surprisingly delicately for such a behemoth, sucked the green one right off my nipple. Jesus, that nip got so hard, so fast, when he mouthed the candy free of it. I treated his hands on my hips to a slow, seductive shimmy.

It finally occurred to him that his lips were still on my tit, and he jerked upright, his hands yanking off my hips like they were a hot stove. "Uh... great game," he mumbled.

"Bye," I said, giving him a wink before I turned and made sure to bounce my ass at him.

"Too bad you couldn't walk us in," Patty said over her shoulder. "You could have demonstrated the game for everybody with each of us. Ta ta!"

And we all swept away from the most frustrated dude in Nola. My nipples were still hard as rocks. Maybe I would have agreed to blow him, had we wanted to make the play.

Probably not.

I wondered, given my still strong commitment to getting fully wild, why I kept passing on opportunities... especially my bald, fellow First Class passenger.

I realized that with that guy, I was more attracted to him because of personality than anything purely physical. The last thing I was looking for now was a connection, except between body parts.

So why not our poor bouncer? He was just what I wanted, a slab of gorgeous meat whose name I didn't even know.

Eh. I just wasn't feeling it. I was not up to sucking cock in public under any circumstances anyway, I decided. Probably. It was not like I was feeling shy that evening...

What I was definitely interested in was getting to the next bar and getting my aching nipples sucked some more.

In fact, I was feeling distinctly... escalatory at this point.

We soon found a bar that made us all happy. Another off-street dive, this one had an, ahem, co-ed crowd, and wasn't even full. And there was dancing.

The eight of us grabbed wines in the inevitable plastic cups and took over the middle of the floor, laughing and shimmying our asses among the other patrons.

Inevitably, several dudes joined us to try their luck as the songs progressed, but we sent them all packing. Picking up guys in a bar was not the plan, after all.

Then one of them, a decent-looking blonde dude with a sweet smile, made an offer to Linda, who told him no, 'because we are all together,'

"That's cool. What's with the tee shirts though?"

"Oh those," Linda said dismissively over the music. "That's our game tonight. If you give me two bucks, you can suck one of these LifeSavers off my shirt."

He just looked at her. She just grinned at him.

He scrabbled for his wallet. Pulling out two singles, he showed them to her. "Are you serious?" he asked her.

Linda just took the bills from his nearly nerveless hand and stood tall.

He kept his eyes on hers all the way down as he bent, until the last moment, when he looked down to target a candy definitely on her tit, but cautiously clear of her nipplage area. He rested his hands lightly on her hips as he cautiously lipped the candy free, brushing her shirt with his lips as lightly as he could manage.

Touching us was not supposed to be part of the game, but I could see it here, and besides, the whole neighborhood, including us, were getting pretty drunk by now.

"Is this a real game?" the brave guy asked with a smile.

"Sure, all of us are playing," Linda smiled. "And if you go again, remember you don't have to be quite that careful about sucking it off."

The guy looked around, then reached out and grabbed his friend who had his back turned, still trying to chat up Jenn. "Dude!" he yelled. "Give her two bucks."

"Why?"

"Because this," the first dude said handing more ones to Linda. Then he leaned in and did a proper job sucking a candy off the middle of Linda's breast.

The second dude just stared, then looked at Jenn. She just smiled and indicated her shirt.

He almost pantsed himself getting out his wallet, and in a flash was sucking, suckling really, on Jenn's nipple through her shirt. Jenn honestly was the least in demand of all of us in the game that evening, but those she was popular with were really, really into her.

Blonde dude was desperately beckoning to some other friends who had been too shy to try their luck with us before, to come out on the dance floor.

Soon we were mingling with a lot of guys, and we all sort of decided to keep dancing when someone wanted to play. They had to match our gyrations if they wanted to get their lips where they wanted them.

The new rule was one try per. If your lips landed on my rib cage, that was the candy you got.

Inevitably, jostling happened, especially around Kerrie and her boobs. Next thing you know, I caught a big splash of bourbon on my front.

Original blondie, whose bourbon it was, turned to apologize and his eyes widened in commendable apology and flattering fascination. My left breast was soaked, and the fabric displayed my dark, round nipple pressing against the fabric clearly. The LifeSavers on the target had long been removed.

He had already contributed a bunch personally to my coffers, and had been a relentless promoter for us. I decided that a little mistake could be forgiven... sort of.

"Oh man!" I wailed.

"I'm really sorry!" He wailed back.

"Well, don't just stand there, Clumsy," I snapped. "Suck it off before it dries all sticky!"

Plus, he was more than a little cute, now that I really looked at him. I winked at him.

In a flash, I had his mouth clamped down on my tit, sucking bourbon from the fabric.

I just caressed his ears and kept dancing as I guided his head around my front.

As a method for removing liquid moisture from thin cotton, it was remarkably ineffective. But I thought it was awesome. At least, he got to drink a little of what he had spilled.

I did spin away from him before he could fully monopolize me, though that idea was sounding better and better.

"Whoa, Amy!" Jenn said, looking at my still quite transparent shirt. I just shrugged.

My shirt had legitimately half dried when I realized that the only candies I had left on my shirt were not in very tempting locations. We were all running low.

"Linda! Do we have another roll? I'm mostly out," I yelled over the music.

She hauled out our last roll, eyeing my shirt. I was not caring at this point. But it might have been reducing our candy sales, as guys just scoped me, rather than ponying up.

I wandered toward the bar with Linda and Melody. We were all three thirsty. I tried to apply some more LifeSavers, but was frustrated by them all falling right off in my hands. My tape was shot.

"I need some new tape," I grumbled. "Linda, who has the tape?"

"Melody, you have it, right?" Linda asked, turning around.

"Patty used the last of it after some guy bought twenty sucks," Melody said.

Linda slugged back her drink and sighed, "Looks like maybe bedtime then. Big night tomorrow!"

"Hush your mouth," I snorted. "Look you guys, we have spent all night demanding and receiving worship from every guy we encountered."

"And a lot of chicks, too," Melody added.

"Yeah. And I'm not ready to be done quite yet. We still have candies." I turned to the bartender. "Do you have tape?"

"Masking tape, sorry," he said, real regret in his voice.

I swore quietly. Then I had a terrible, wonderful idea. I leaned way over the bar and beckoned the bartender. He approached and I whispered in his ear.

"Fuuuuck," he said. "Yeah, I can make the happen."

I turned back to my buddies. "Tell everybody that the Bachelorette herself is now Suck for Twenty Bucks!"

"You might get a few, Amy," Linda said dubiously.

"Yeah?" I said, pulling my teeshirt right off over my head. "But now it includes a cognac body shot as well as a candy." Then I popped up onto the bar, looked over the room, shook my tits, and woohooed!

Linda shook her head, and caught my eye to evaluate my level of sobriety... or rather my level of drunkenness. And she gave me some rope.

"Hey girls," she called getting my buddies' attention, a lot of other people's too. "The Bride is now Suck and a Body Shot for Twenty Bucks!"

I saw all my buddies rush toward me, both to run interference, and to watch me embarrass myself.

"I'm thirsty. I'll go first," chirped Melody.

I looked at her.

She whispered to me, "I really could use a shot. This'll show the guys what they are getting. And it will drive Patty absolutely nuts."

We shared a grin. It hadn't just been me who was noticing.

"First customer, Juan," I said. I laid down on the bar top and flipped the first candy out of the roll. I licked it, and stuck it atop my bare, erect nipple. I sucked in my stomach, and Juan sluiced a generous pour of Courvoisier into my navel.

Melody handed him a twenty and he put it in a fresh jar. My married buddy leaned over me, sucked the candy extravagantly off my boob, then sucked my navel dry.

She stood back up, threw her hands in the air, and screamed in triumph.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Patty yelled. Now if she tried it herself, she'd just be copying Melody. Melody and I shared a conspiratorial look.

"That's good Cognac," some guy who thought he was clever said, and stepped up eagerly. Juan extended his hand and he paid up. I popped another candied ring on my tit, and Juan poured.

This was going to be fun.

Linda and Melody flanked me as bodyguards. I appreciated that. I was a little, um, exposed here. Patty and Kerrie stood close as well.

After about three more profitable bodyshots, A guy leaned over to Melody and said, "I'm the Designated Driver. I want the suck without the shot. Think maybe you could help with that?" He held up a ten.

Melody just looked at him coolly, then pulled a candy off her shirt, licked it, then smoothly pulled up her shirt to expose an almost unreasonably cute nipple. She stuck the wet LifeSaver to her nipple and took the ten. The guy leaned over and gently, softly, but very slowly sucked the candy off her tit. He even let his hand cup the breast, giving it a gentle rolling squeeze from below. He stood back up and smiled. "Thank you for supporting safety on our roads," he said solemnly.

Well, that changed things up. The crowd around me got even thicker, and suddenly Melody, Linda, Patty, and Kerrie were all selling ten dollar bare sucks. And now all five of us were getting felt up, just a little, with each round.

Jenn, Paula, and Noor hastily retreated to a booth to watch, and avoid invitations of their own. I occasionally saw them through the crowd, giggling uncontrollably.

Regardless of whatever female predilections Patty may have been previously hiding, she was way into this whole phase of operations. Unlike the other three, Patty was pulling her shirt up to expose both nipples each time. And guys were being invited to give both her tits a little feel. Maybe I had been imagining the lez-curious dynamic.

Then the very next person to step up over me as I lay on the bar was... Patty! She was going to copycat anyway?

"Juan," she said, holding up two twenties. "Want to do shots with me?" Ah, she had figured out her angle...

He looked down at me, I looked at him and approved. Patty, I was less sure about, but here we were. What's a little being a naked serving dish between friends?

I popped out two more candies from my diminishing roll, and stuck them to both my nipples. Juan poured the first shot in my navel. Then he and Patty leaned down simultaneously and mouthed the candies. Patty held his eyes and sucked hard on my nipple, pulling up slightly to tug it upward, stretching out my breast. Juan followed her lead and I gasped in near shock. This was so fucking hot all of a sudden. They both released my nipples with a loud pop, and before he could do anything, Patty leaned forward and kissed him, quickly but comprehensively. Then she bent again and sucked softly at the Cognac in my navel. She straightened up and gestured grandly. Juan poured an extravagant amount for himself. Had I relaxed my stomach at all, much of it would have spilt over my sides. But I somehow controlled my fluttering abdominals, and he bent to suck me dry. His tongue swirled eagerly around in my navel.

Oh shit, I was beginning to consider designs on Juan when I ran out of candies. Especially since he had been the first guy to be a gentleman in a while and not grope me while getting his suck on. Patty had fondled me pretty eagerly...

And I was going to run out of candies soon.

When there were three left, who should appear at the bar than Blondie again. I had thought he had gone. Maybe he had heard and returned. Patty and Kerrie were out. Kerrie had given her last few LifeSavers to Melody, who along with Linda were still guarding me and taking a few last offers.

"I'll have a double," Blondie said, smiling blandly down at me. I found myself smiling back eagerly. Too bad, Juan.

I thumbed out two candies and let the wrapper with the last one fall behind the bar. "All out after this," I said to Juan, but especially to Blondie. He and I traded a private grin. "Make it count," I told him sternly. I licked both candies and stuck them firmly to my pointy little nipples.

Blondie handed over two twenties and bent over me. His hands came up and pressed gently against the outside of both tits, thrusting the nipples higher. He gently licked first one, then the other without dislodging either. He clasped his lips so damned gently around the far nipple and twiddled the candy around in his mouth, its tumbling hardness bumping into my nipple occasionally, sending a few quality gasps from my lips.

He rose slightly, and I heard him crunch the first one.

Then he bent straight back down, even his restraint reaching its limits. I rolled my torso as he sucked the candy swiftly free and just outright nursed on me, his hands outright groping both tits.

"Shot time," said Melody sternly, from beside my head. He looked up at her with a mischievous grin. Juan poured the first shot. Goldie looked down at my navel, making me wait with my stomach held in, the delicious asshole. As he bent, he left the one hand still on my tit, but slid the other down to the bare skin of my thigh just below my shorts. As he began to noisily slurp the shot off me, his hand on my leg slid up the inside of my thigh, moving over my shorts.

I felt Linda's hand gently rest atop his, and slowly lift it back down onto my bare skin. She did not take his hand off my leg, she just moved it to where I could probably maintain control. He left both hands where they now were, and nodded for his second shot. Juan jealously poured him a second one. Full points, Juan didn't stint on portions.

Both Blondie's hands slid free of my body on their own, and I saw him fold them behind his back, while he sucked the second shot very slowly out of my belly. I flexed my stomach up toward him and he had to guzzle quick to keep the last bit from spilling. He looked up at me as he rose, glaring at my dirty pool. I grinned back and started to sit up. "And with that, I am out of..."

"Wait," Blondie said swiftly, holding up a hand but not quite pushing me back down on the bar top. I lay back anyway. "Before you get up, I need to buy you a drink. What do you think, bartender? A MIM Margarita?"

"What's that?" I asked, intrigued. And also thirsty.

"Mix in your mouth," Juan said with a grin of his own, suddenly brandishing a bottle of tequila in one hand and a bottle of sour mix in the other. "Open wide," he added. "Half or full shot?" he added, much more quietly.