Moon Witch Ch. 06

Though his actions have put me in this place, I had noticed the tenderness with which he treated me while he was still in the palace grounds. I frown. You're losing it, I scold myself. He may not have taken advantage of me in the basest way, but you know he's just like the other men who did.

As if it will help me to avoid thinking about my predicament, I roll over to face the wall and pull the blanket up over my head.

That night, sleep eludes me as I try to remind myself to keep my eyes closed, ideas of life magic and death, the mysterious author of the journal, Azrath's commanding body, Era waiting for me at home, and the general's confusing presence all swirling around in my head.

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The next day, I awake and see a note that Hes has left for me. It says: At palace grounds. Feel better, aeya. Drink the tea, feel free to explore! I smile, nearly able to hear the voice of the portly man.

Awvag somehow seems to sense that I'm awake and appears with a cup of the ghastly tea. I cringe, trying my best to hide my expression of disgust and replace it with a much more gracious one, taking the cup from the tall man.

"Thank you," I say in Gra'marian. Awvag nods, staring at me for a little too long for me to feel comfortable. Then, he beckons me to head outside with him into the mild morning desert temperature. Staring curiously at the darker man, I follow him.

He leads me, past the side garden with all the vining plants, to behind the structure where my eyes widen in disbelief. I can't believe I never realized all of this was mere footsteps away from where I rested my head last night. Perhaps the first day I'd been too tired to properly notice it.

Hes's backyard is what can only be described as a small oasis. A tiny body of water, clear and blue, interrupts the monotony of sand that stretches across my vision. So many of the plants Hes has taught me about are planted and thriving what I can only describe as a plot of land.

"Vegetable," nods Awvag, the Sorrean word sounding foreign on his tongue. It definitely seems like an odd word to use to describe the garden in front of us, but I can see what the tall man was wanting to communicate.

"Pretty," I respond in Gra'marian with a smile. I'm distinctly aware that because I picked up this word as a nickname from the old ladies who serve meals in the palace, it probably isn't the right word to describe the beauty of this little slice of peace. Yet, Awvag gives me a slight smile in response as if our broken efforts to use the other's language bonds us together.

That afternoon, I stay outside in the shade, enjoying the gentle breeze that plays with the hem of my robes. Alone, I re-read portions of the mysterious journal, every so often stopping to cross-reference some unfamiliar desert flora with what is in Hes's plot. Not everything is present. In fact, most are not. However, still, I get to freely examine a sizeable list of the journal's ingredient index.

Awvag pokes his head out every so often, sometimes bringing me a bowl of sunfruit and other times packets of dried meats. He treats me with the same parental instinct that Hes does, and I allow myself to feel safe in the giant's presence. If this is Hes's love, then he must be at least a decent fellow.

When I feel that he's not watching, though, I practice some of the magic I've been playing with. I close my eyes until I can feel the excitement spark between my fingers, then stroke the bottom of a jellyweed's stem. I can see the leaves spread out a little more fully, the translucent bud popping open to reveal the white flower. I smile at the fresh petals and wipe at some of the moisture at my forehead.

For what I've learned about life magic, I wonder how coaxing the jellyweed to grow is a manipulation of life. Rather, where is it coming from? I do feel quite exhausted after just a few times of releasing magic into the plant, but I don't feel any less... dead. Maybe I don't understand life magic quite as well as I thought I did.

"Selene," calls Awvag. I scramble to my feet, hoping that he hasn't seen anything I was doing. I go to him, and he leads me to a room of the house. Though the house is small, I didn't expect to walk into what can only be described as a workshop.

It reminds me a little bit of the shed I have for myself in Sorreas, with just how lived-in it is. This is a place that is frequently used and is treated as a second home. Although, with it being in their home in the first place, maybe workshop is a weird label to put on it.

The tall man goes to a table at the side of the room and retrieves something. I follow him a little dumbly, taking in many of the tools that look so very foreign to me.

"You." Awvag pushes towards me a box, and I look up at him curiously. But, probably from the limitations of our communication, he only repeats, "You."

I gulp and take the box from him. It's very light despite its medium size. I cast another anxious look at the dark-skinned man and push open the lid.

"Oh." I feel my eyes widen as I look down at the open box. He nods and gestures around his neck. "For me?"

Awvag just slides the box closer to me once again in response. Inside is a delicate gold-colored piece of jewelry. The metal is stretched thin and curved in a way I can't decipher. I reach in to pull it out and it springs to life or unravels or something - expanding to thrice its size and making itself obvious to me as a necklace.

I see now that one part should wrap around the back of the neck. Then, like a tear drop, the other side comes to a point and curves downward, so I can see that it would extend down towards the space between my breasts. At the point is a red jewel and a small hoop that rattles when I move the curious piece of metal back and forth.

Awvag slowly pulls it from my hands and then gestures for me to lower my head. I comply and he places it on me, the thin metal curving over my neck. As I'd assumed, the sharp portion of the jewelry dips down, tracking over my breastbone so the jewel sits flush to my skin. At least, it would if it weren't for the robe that otherwise is loose over my torso.

Awvag gestures again and turns his gaze away, as if telling me I should fix it under my clothes. I feel my face warm, but turn away to do it still.

As I tuck it away and rearrange my robe, I wonder at what this is. Is it just a gift? Is this a weird Gra'marian ceremonial piece? Or is it something else completely? I wish I could ask him, but my knowledge of Gra'marian is too limited for me to ask anything close to what I'm wondering, much less understand a response.

For just how tight and fitted to my form this jewelry is, it also fits beautifully well, the jewel completely flush to the space between my breasts.

I turn back towards Awvag and consider the man in front of me with my brow furrowed. I trust him because of Hes, but he also seems to have his own agenda in giving me this necklace. Else I'm sure that Hes would have reassured me about it at some point last night.

He is standing patiently with his back to me, his large silhouette dwarfing my comparatively insignificant one. He is such a mystery to me, this quiet giant. I wonder what he's like when it's just him and Hes.

I shake the thinking out of my head and then fix the neckline of my robe, making sure everything is tucked away and covered. I look back up at the tall man and clear my throat to let him know I'm done.

He turns around and we make brief eye contact before a thump elsewhere in the house breaks the moment. The two of us go to the front of the house to find Hes doubled over clutching his foot.

He looks up with a pained expression and wordlessly points at the table where he must have stubbed his toe. "Good day," he manages out in Sorrean.

Awvag and I both get out a greeting while the other man regains his composure, straightening up.

We settle down in the living area, Awvag bustling back and forth collecting some belongings. Hes gives Awvag a kiss on the cheek, who disappears out the door to head into town. Hes fills me in about the state of affairs back in the palace.

"They're searching for you," says Hes. "I've been asked about it directly, but there are also whispers around. It is good that you are in a safe place."

"I can't thank you enough, Hes." I look down. The memories of being trapped with Azrath for days seem to be fading much too quickly than I can feel good about. I wonder at the other side effects of lembi Byrne didn't tell me about. There also wasn't any information about it in the mysterious journal, so maybe there isn't much magic associated with the drug itself.

"No need to thank me, aeya." Hes pats my shoulder. "I just want you to feel that you are okay."

"I'm okay," I say automatically, but then stop myself. "I think I'm okay, anyways. I'm glad for your help, Hes. I- there are still many things that are on my mind. I feel that I'm having a hard time not shutting everything out, though."

"I just need you for a few more days." He plans a kiss on my forehead. A lump rises in my throat. It reminds me so much of papa that my missing him is visceral. "Afterwards, you can run free with your Era."

I smile in response, grateful for this rotund man in the strange land of Gra'marah.

It is true. Despite the ever present love I have for my sister and the yearning I have to see her again, I feel like my focus has been compromised. I can only hope that it is a result of lembi, or else I'm not sure what I can hold onto.

"So," he claps his hands. "I've been working hard to get you to your home. When I was still traveling as a merchant, I had a colleague of the name Abelo. He is of Sorreas, just as you are.

Abelo is still traveling, in fact. I ran into him 6 suns ago when he was passing through Gra'marah and he told me he will be back after one week. He owes me a favor, I am sure I can ask him to help. It would not be too much to have you hidden among his wares."

"That would be wonderful." I feel hope rush into me, imagining the moment that I get back home. I can already hear Era's squeal as she runs towards me and smile despite myself. She'll officially be a year older by the time I see her again, having missed her birthday.

"Yes, and I am sure with the route he takes that he will be passing through Sorreas so it should be no difficulty for him." He grins and I grin right back. But something at the back of my head bothers me.

"Hes, have you never wanted to leave? I can't say that I've wondered why you are still here. Or wondered why anyone who could leave has not left." At my words, Hes nods.

"I understand. For foreigners the way that Gra'marah is... seems... bad." He frowns in response to the word, as if it's not enough to fully express his thoughts. "I think it is different. Sorreas, the Eastern Isles, these places see the desert tribes as less. Perhaps in some ways, yes. How they have treated you I do not like. This is not how women are treated in my homeland. But in Gra'marah it is normal.

I have discovered something I enjoy doing, aeya. Helping people brings me joy. Why I do not leave, perhaps because it is the way it is. I have a home here, where else do I go?"

I smile, but I know it's empty. "That's a very old person way of talking, Hes."

"If you have been around the time I have, you also will have that thought."

"I don't think I could get used to living in a country where women are used the way they are here." My cheeks warm a bit at remembering one of the most shocking things I'd noticed in this country: partaking in intimate activities in the halls of the palace weren't entirely abnormal. Once while roaming the halls I happened upon a soldier, gripping the hips of a half-undressed young woman in white and slamming his hips forward into her.

I remember seeing the smooth brown skin of her collarbones as the neckline of her outer robe flapped to the rhythm of his thrusting. He was intent on his activity, eyes feasting on what curves of her body were visible, but she looked up into my eyes. What I saw in them was the same way I'd felt when I was in Azrath's tent - a pitiful mixture of pleasure and shame.

But then she closed her eyes and let out a guttural moan and the momentary spell was broken. I looked down and hurried away as quickly as I could, wishing that I'd not seen what I had. It reminded me of what I'd suffered in Azrath's tent. Moreso, it reminded me of the fact that there was a part of me that liked it.

Little did I know that in only a few short days I'd be back in the king's clutches, this time completely at the mercy of his hands.

"You don't have to, Selene. As soon as Abelo returns, we will be better equipped to have you return to Sorreas."

"So what you're telling me is I have no hope of convincing you to come with me?"

Hes laughs, but it sounds tired. "My home is here. I am not like you nor Eryx, young things with hope left."

"He thinks the same way you do," I mumble. "Things are just the way they are and he doesn't see that things in Gra'marah are wrong."

"Don't be hard on him. He has had a hard upbringing. I think that meeting you has been the first time he has had to question his self."

I give Hes a look. "I don't believe he's questioned anything. He seems pretty confident still in his king and country. And that's not even considering that he was the one who kidnapped me in the first place."

Hes gives me an equally serious look. "You do not understand, Selene. I have seen in him more change from meeting you than I have my whole life. You may not believe in him, it is understandable. But he is beginning to question things. You have done him good even if you did not want to."

I look down, not really believing Hes. He's biased towards the grim general anyways. But knowing how confident he is in his beliefs, I don't really want to fight about what he's trying to say. "I don't know."

"Well," Hes grins, throwing an arm behind himself and leaning back, "At the very least I wish you could give him a chance to love you."

I'd been taking a long overdue sip of my disgusting barren tea, but swallow it wrong at Hes's words and start a coughing fit.

"Love me?" I manage to choke out, not quite able to breathe in normally.

"Maybe that is not the right way to say," says Hes with a frown. But it's quickly replaced by the joking look I know so well. "You are good for him. I think he also would be good for you if you allow him. He wants this, at the least."

"You would want me to fall in love with my kidnapper?" I give a look at the older man, who only laughs in response.

"Your kidnapper is also like my peyo to me," Hes smiles warmly. "And at the least I wish you would not see him with hate."

I can't think of a clever response to his sincerity, so I just make a non-committal noise and stare down at my hands. I don't feel the need to explain to Hes my own weird feelings of attraction to Erik - especially since I can't even explain it to myself.

Hes grabs my hand and folds his own over my small one. "As a favor to your old friend. Next you see him, maybe you can see him a bit differently. From what I know of his childhood, I cannot blame him for the way that he thinks."

I give a small nod, despite my thought that I'm just relieved I won't have to see General Erik given the fact I'll be on my way back to Sorreas soon. "Okay, if I do see him again."

Hes pats my hand. "You are right, though. Perhaps you will not see him again."

I have to choke down my response that that's precisely the plan. So instead I paste on a smile and look at my friend, but he has an odd expression.

"Oh, gods. Hes?" I look at the man, not sure what's happening. The color has drained from his face and his eyes are closed.

He groans, and I can see his hands balled into fists, shaking. "Awvag," he manages to get out.

"He's not here! Didn't you say he went out into town?" I lean back over Hes, who I can see has broken out into a cold sweat. I put my hand on his shoulder but am at a complete loss as to what's going on or what to do.

His eyes are squeezed tightly shut, and his breaths are shaky. "I am dying," he says.

"No," I breathe out. The only thing that comes to mind is the simplest healing spell I remember seeing papa do when Era was growing up and hurt herself somewhere.

My heart is filled with panic, memories of facing the cold bodies of my parents running through my veins. I can't let the only one who's shown me kindness in Gra'marah to be met with the same premature fate. I place my hand on his forehead and repeat the same words over and over again. All I want is for him to not die.

I don't dare stop my spell - though desperate prayer may be a more accurate word to describe it - but I think I feel some of the tension leaving Hes. He seems more relaxed now? Maybe just a few more times, and...

The world tips on its side and I'm falling.

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