All Comments on 'Mother Catches Son Having Sex'

The story was different yet sexy in a Kinky kind of way. It wasn't bad for a first but could have been longer maybe. Keep writing.

... I hope to hell that it's also your last. The bit of incest included was not nearly enough to wash away my disgust at the pain, humiliation, and choking.

This is a good hot story,Thanks.

Ones never knows what investigating something will bring

For a first story it was reasonably good. Keep writing, learn from your feedback and you will improve, oh and don`t take any notice from dickheads who believe that incest is all clean and healthy but a little pain and humiliation is totally unacceptable and disgustingly filthy. Don`t keep us waiting too long for your next effort and also remember to proof read it thoroughly.

No vote as this is not my style of story at all. I don't want to put a damper on your efforts so I'll not comment further. Good luck on future stories.

I liked the story line it was nasty, hot and moved quickly. You did miss a few possibilities in that while her son was being fucked by Natalie she could have slide under her kneeling son and sucked his cock as he ate her, some good sloppy creme pie action by Natalie cleaning out Daphne would have been hot too. But, again I liked the story.

A couple of technical suggestions, get a partner to work with to proof read and catch spelling errors and wrong words used. One of the first paragraphs spoke of Jacob's father had passed away, two paragraphs later you tell that it had been a long time since Daphne's husband had touched her.......I hope so since he was supposedly dead....LOL

Good effort, don't stop and enjoy your naughty stories.

Nadine.

Your story took a decidedly quick turn away from fun sex, unexpected discovery, and incest to a humiliation story. That is neither good nor bad but under the genre you have selected there will readers who turn off early and those who will read it out and then grade you low for this writing style. Called it unexpected change from what was assumed.

Here are a few structure thoughts and your words are numbered:

1. humming a made up tune to herself

leave it short because the thought is understood from the use of "humming,"

humming a made up tune to

2. seemed to be moving independently of her mind

use fewer words

moved independent of her thought

were moving forward without concern or thought

3. Her son, her only child, was completed naked and bent over on all fours on his bed

This was a great scene. Needs to hit the reader harder and again some of the words you have used are extraneous.

Her son, was naked and bent forward on elbow and knee atop his bed

4. She pulled them out and walked over to Natalie, slowly pushing fingers into her mouth.

Needs more ...

She pulled the now sloppy fingers out and went to Natalie, shoving them into the woman's mouth.

5. she pulled the cock out of his mouth,

This was a confusion which even close proof reading will miss, but the reader will see and be popped out of the fantasy reading to either quit or badger you. How many males were in the room or does son have so many vertebrate as to suck his own dick?

6. She realised it was herself,

This sentence very seldom works for me. The sex needs to be deeply emotional and passionate for it to appear consistent with described behavior. You missed it.

Daphne laid there for what seemed like hours, with her sons cum dripping out of her pussy onto his bed, before forcing her self onto her feet

Some good ideas and action in this story. Mom being the dominant one would be a better way to go. Keep writing you have a lot to offer.

I enjoyed the majority of the story, but that little rant that Natalie goes off on at the end, followed by the threat of a beating? Almost like a different story from one paragraph to the next.

Has a lot of potential just needs a lot of work. Also there are things I like about the story and other things not so much.

For future reference warn the reader of the male anal domination submission and so on. Helps to get a higher score for if a person is warned and this is not their cup of tea they might move on. But if they are not warned and find something that they do not like then they tend to give a lower score. To be fair I gave you a ***.

Next, the mother has to dominate her son for the gf's pleasure

really love the concept of a young girl dominating the entire family. dont get that to often, more please. thanks.

disgusting. where is the loving mom who should have stopped his abuser?