All Comments on 'Mother-In-Law May I Ch. 10'

It was a shame the story took the turn it did. Respect your desire to get the family back together but are they. Not sure how the new house works. You seemed to suck the life out of the story with Luke. You turned Brian into a wimp with no say and no part no strength, just a puppet where the first 8 chapters built him to be the Man.

The story was interesting and found it was entertaining. You did good and you will never please even close to everyone on this site. You wrote the story as you saw fit and learn some things along the way. That is what is important. Thanks for your valuable time to write and publish. To be on this type of free site you have to be able to write for your enjoyment so as long as you are enjoying what you do keep doing. Cheers

Great job. Glad all are reunited.

@Keeperon - Brian didn't turn into a wimp so much as he just wasn't the target of the story line anymore. There's a difference. He was no longer relevant since his part in the story was completed - he knocked up his mother-in-law as was the goal from the start. I understand many people didn't like Luke entering the story. I'll be happy to tailor a story just for them if the money is right! :-)

I loved every single chapter and am sad to not read more. Thank you.

I agree with keeperson the ending you had planned just wasn’t great and the direction you decided to take the characters didn’t make sense, but as poorly written and explained, conflicted with what was said and done earlier in the story about events and people, you left plot points unanswered,unneeded,poorly written and poorly explained, and overall even then seems weird out of place and illogical, it just didn’t make sense and poor writing was the problem

Even though you wanted to do it this way, chapters 8, 9, and 10 worsened the story. Sometimes it is better to have a better story (that is different than your original plan) than a not as good story (that is your original plan).

@Anonymous - "Better" is always in the eye of the beholder. I understand some think it went astray after chapter seven, but some did not. I can't please everyone and with that understanding, I do not try.

I think Luke and Calley really needed more pages to do them (and maybe Jack Sr.) justice, but I'm not sure whether that would just further dilute the main story. Maybe cutting to them a little in each chapter would work.

Still, overall, it's a good story. And what you tell and how you tell it is your own decision. Don't yield to comments that you don't agree with. Keep your own voice.

This is actually a very good story. But this is not supposed to be the end yet because there are still lots of questions need to be clarified as of yet.

It became obvious to the family that Luke and Calley also end up in an incestuous relationship when Luke kissed Calley passionately when they first got home.

So, what’s gonna be their arrangement when they all be living together? Since Calley already know the incestuous relationships of her whole family and learned that they openly having sex in the presence of other family members and most of all they casually having group sex.

So, are they going to sit and talk on how they are all going to act around the house with the addition of new family members? Will they continue openly having group sex?

If ever Luke and Calley will constantly witnessing the incestuous acts of their mother, sister, and in-laws, will Luke eventually end up fucking his sister, his mother and Catherine?

Will Calley also end up getting fucked by her brother in law Brian? And eventually having sex with the rest of the women in the family?

Hope these will all happen.

overall a good story I will agree with others I wasn't a big fan of the last few chapters (needed to be fleshed out more), I will aldo say that I think Brian's reaction to handjob to Luke was wrong take. Having experienced being cheated on by a partner leaves me to believe that his reaction would have been different. They have a pretty open idea of sex but I so often see this in stories and I will say it's not the sex act that causes the most pain it is the loss of trust, multiple times now Mackenzie has acted without letting Brian know first and that is the problem not the actual sex act itself. Just wanted to give something for other to think about when writting. Overall good job, it kept me reading till the end.

Outstanding story, wonderfully written and told............():\

Don’t give it a second thought. It was an exceptional read that brought enjoyment to your readers. Thank you for sharing your writing journey! Well done!!

Great story and great sex. But, I especially enjoyed the ending.

Long story, but a good story. Happy endings ate always best! You done good!!