All Comments on 'Mother's Puppet Pt. 01'

keep going, provide more details

Good until the last few paragraphs they just confused everything.

Good start, I say keep going.....very intrigued

Well, this is a non-sequitur. Start left and then it all blows up.

You need an editor--you know the woman is a blonde, not blond, correct?

I am interested to see where this goes. I like incest stories with a lot of drama in them.

What on earth does 'roofie' mean?

As far as I can tell, Ben only kissed his sister and briefly groped her tit, so I suppose technically it was incest. But that is as close as it comes to there being any sexual activity.

Then we jump forward 2 years, to a black haired guy coming from a courthouse.

Plain clothes cop? Witness? Defendant? Plaintiff? Victim?

If there is a story here what was it? Who did what with whom? And when?

I find nothing here to make me want to read more, so I can't rate it.

This is just a short intro of a story to come, completely unedited and written quickly to see if it would get views or at the very least get people asking questions or wondering. Seeing as someone has already asked about what's going on in the last few paragraphs I'd say I accomplished what I wanted to. THIS IS NOT A FULL STORY IT'S ONLY AN INTRO. You'll have to wait for the whole story, when you read it all the pieces will come together very easily.

(I have gotten a few messages from people thinking that it was the brother who drugged Lyla.... It was most definitely not him).

just caught my attention and draw out different conclusions that maybe mom drugged her sister to keep her away from him for some reason...like mom is totally sick in the head like that or maybe sicko mom wants Ben for herself so decided to get Layla out of the picture...then mom made it look like he killed his sister to blackmail him...2 years later Ben is gonna get the verdict for Lyla's murder yet she seems to have been alive somewhere...somehow...or so I thought when the mysterious woman offered Ben a job in exchange for his sister ...don't wanna spoil your interesting premise but my crazy mind is wondering if I get the intro right?! Bring on the real story then... I think it's gonna be awesome...

A tasty little teaser...cant wait to see where you go with this.

Can't wait for part 2

Please don't keep us waiting too long.

From someone who doesn't like writing about incest,you definitely can't tell from how your stories come out,and with that said I think I'm gonna enjoy this series(hoping it will become one) and I also enjoyed your 'Thick As Thieves' series wholeheartedly ;)

Just to think,the last time you modified your page in 2016,only the first Thick As Thieves was posted,now in 2018 you got some many more chapters of that 'close family' lol along with more family related stories so Thank you for that!

A fan...