by poetcynic
what a way to get into mommy's pants. Hope they do it again.
If you are not fluent in English don't bother writing a story in it. It makes no sense. Write in your native language.
I agree with a previous reader that the comments are more entertaining than the story itself. This story was awful and the intro about trying to untie the incestous knot and losing your time, getting bloody nails...WTF???
Also, what is up with using an accented capital "O" in place of a capital "T" in some words. Reading about Mervin, the Hooter Jiggling Retard over in The Mom Memeries 17 was time better spent than reading this story.
What I would like to know is how the anonymous commenter can type so much with their dick in one of their hands. And not one of them have the balls to leave their name,so that tell me how bold they are. Well you bunch of assholes,why not read the Saturday Evening Post of you want perfectly written literature.It amazes me on how many of you motherfuckers are English professors, and read erotic stories to bone up on your grading skills.I didn't have any problems reading what the author was trying to say in his story, so what is the real reason you people leave comments.I would hope that the author has the chance to write you back and tell you to fuck-off, but what the hell you are probably just one step above brain dead anyway....Rich
when the comments left about a story are far more entertaining than the story itself!
LIE, LYING, LAY, LAYING, and LAID (forget about LAIN for now): <p>
I was LYING because I did not want to tell the truth, lest I got in deeper trouble. As you can see, it's a stupid way to "reason" when ones uses LIE as a basis. <p>
Being dead tired --- LYING there, on that old, dirty mattress --- I was drifting in and out of sleep, before you arrived... <p>
Although you said for me to LAY this precious, 2,000-year-old Etruscan vast on that old mattress, in the bedroom third from the entrance, I didn't feel like an invaluable object such as this should be LAYING on such a moldy and unsafe platform. <p>
I was supposed to get "laid" yesterday and do nothing but having fun drinking and celebrating my 21st birthday but, instead, here I am, hovering above everyone, in the Church yard, watching my sad parents and friends, as they solemnly LAID my body down and lowered it into the ground for its eternal rest...
I couldn't really tell if this was a good story or not. I only read English.
I got a headache from reading just the first 2 or 3 "paragraphs".
The baffling introduction, the convoluted metaphor, the bewildering misuse of words, the nonsense goes on. And what the fuck is a swagger swimsuit? Please do not write the remaining seven or eight parts to this story. (This guy can't even count.)
I got about one quarter the way down the first page and had to stop. Not only is the story a typical boring story but the writer can't seem to entertain the idea of using quotations for the speaking dialogue. Totally ruined it because of the lack of it. "" <---Those are quotation marks, man.
Pathetic crap, badly written. Don't bother writing the other chapters, if they are going to be as badly written as this is. It looks like it was written by an immature school-kid.
more like illiteratechild. What the hell were you doing? Jerking off as you wrote? I don't think even an editor could save this crap.
Before launching into more of this stuff, you'd better take a course in writing English or get a good editor.