by Epicaste
So many names, so little description, no interest. Lousy grammar. Splitting image? The term is spitting image.
One star.
Maybe this should have been published under loving wives as I didn't see any incest here. The story also ended rather abruptly.
Don't let yourself be discouraged by a bad comment. I liked your story very much. Please continue!
Please, do not be swayed by those naysayers ... this could be very hot. Waiting for part 2...
Those tight little details place the reader right In the middle of this tightly written piece. Checking out mom's bra size is like a right of passage. Some people seek it out while others find a brassiere accidentally in the laundry and then fathom the importance.
I was a bit lost with the use of married name versus the son to which a parent was parenting but it works well. By not bogging down your story with, "Arnolds mom and Bryans mom," references it makes for a nice change. Nix that, it makes for a wonderfully readable change.
If you are not finished writing, please put a bush on one these women. Something for the people who do not find pre-pubescent pussy interesting.
I enjoyed your ideas, and that hot orgy on the trip up was a cool idea. Maybe you can reintroduce that by having Arnold ask Donna about it and making her blush again after he has had sex with her. Maybe sex, then a one hitter, and when she mellows in his arms he can ask about it.
Awesome stuff. I look forward to an unrushed well written 2nd chapter.
please continue this tale. Some on here will say it's crap because a paragraph into it, the story is not a spanker story. Most of us like a story with background and plot.
I find the story to be a nice start, but unless you continue, I have to ask where is the incest? The guys fantasizing about each others' moms does not meet the definition. Still, I feel it's a good introduction. As for the bush request, sure. Give him what he wants. But do not be mistaken that it's a prepubescent thing. Contrary to what many seem to think, this is not a recent development. Women have been waxing, shaving, plucking their pussies for millenia. In fact, Muslim women are required. They are considered 'unclean' if they are not smooth. What it really comes down to is a matter of preference. I leave you with this question: if a bald pussy looks 'prepubescent', then you must prefer your women to not shave their legs or pits either, right? If so, more power to ya, that's your preference. But if not, you have a double standard. You think women should shave their legs, but if they shave a few inches higher, they look like a little girl? Think on that. Keep writing dude.
... and very well written in a style that doesn't waste words and ideas, yet only has what one needs to know to appreciate the telling of the story. I could look forward to more of this tale. Hope you follow up with several chapters. 5 stars!