All Comments on 'Mouse Bk. 01 Ch. 01'

A powerful start to the story. Bitterness, anger, lust and love come together for a terrific Ch. 1. The author has created very interesting characters in the two sisters who are polar opposites. Michael, the brother in between them, is drawn as a 40 year old hulk, not handsome in any sense and still suffering the aftereffects of a divorce from a year ago. The author paints a picture of a somewhat dysfunctional family with each member having their own personality and their own agenda. I'm really looking forward to reading Ch. 2.

Fuck that was hot.

From the title, it looks like this will be a huge work. You're definitely off to a great start. Good back-story, strong characters, full descriptions. Excellent story. Would Read Again. A+++!!!111! ;-)

Wow! Mona is quite the character. I love the way she is so bold and takes what she wants. To see her so submissive at one point makes me think she is every man's perfect fantasy. Bold, slutty, yielding... I just want to BE her.

Perhaps even unique.

Mona is a hot little woman and I too liked that history of conflict. Michael didn't understand that sexual tension or her needs, she made it happen. He needs to marry his sister and put babies in her little belly. Sibling sex is hot and dirty and they have love too. Hope this story takes a long time, Michael needs to court her and make her his forever.

You have described a woman all men want, lady, slut and whore in the bedroom. Hope she was real in your life and you were blessed with mouse love.

no real guy would act like that and would deffinetly not allow her to stay at his house and would avoid her even at the risk of having to miss all family get togethers keep it realistic also it is illegal to delet any comments posted it is a violation of our 1st amendment rights and is punishable by fine and jail if the fcc finds out

Nice buildup of suspense.

Anon, illegal? Get real.

Your stories are so weird. But in a good way.

That sex scene was one of the hottest I've read on here. The anger and tension at the beginning were almost palpable. On to the next chapter...

Very nice........

Nice to read ya! Hellava start son. Unique story line, and really dislikeable characters. That translates as normal and disfunctional. Looking forward to reading all your stories.

Get a life and a hooker to relieve you of your virginity. augh dickhead.

I wasn't going to comment on this story until I read that dickhead's comment.

It was really well written, a bit spooky for me. Me being a 'mouse', the ex a Michael, and my chat name Melanie.

I'll eventually get through the rest of the chapters, and look forward to having the time to read them in peace so I can truly enjoy them.

Well done.

...the 'gutless one' can't spell worth a tinker's damn, so, the way I see it, you don't even have to listen to him; much less, count his opinion!

Looking to be a favorate, keep up the good work.

The descriptions are so vivid and clear that it made me feel as a part of the story. The sex scene is hot as well. On an all, a perfect story

You've got an amazing story going, keep it up, PLEASE!

This story is a gem on literotica, thanks for it.

I'm hooked. An incredible read. Thank you.

I read the entire series.... It was an absolutely fantastic saga. One of the best and most superbly told love stories I've ever read ANYwhere. It's now one of my all time favorites.

As promised, I'm reading Mouse (and loving it). Great story, you have me hooked, right along with Mona/Mouse and Michael.

Ai

The hot and very intense sex certainly doesn't hurt but what grabs more than anything is the way you establish the characters and their family dynamic so effectively and so quickly. What follows builds on a solid foundation and you absolutely kept this reading doing the electronic equivalent of turning the pages to see what happened next.

brilliant, I cant wait to see where this story goes

Beautiful!!

You're a very prolific writer... the best I've seen on this site. Would love to get a pdf of the story, if possible. A very beautifully well written story. I 5starred every chapter.

trying to ger pdf

A great first chapter for a great series.

Even if it is like Michael raped his sister which I think she deserved, it was like she wanted it to happen anyway, I hoped it would have gotten her pregnant.

Great setup for the series. Mouse is such an intriguing character: an annoying but lovable little sister.

This was one fantastic story. The plot and character development was spot on. I loved the sex scene. Hell I loved the built up. I can't wait to read the rest.

Wow...what a way to open up a series! I loved this first chapter! I give it a TEN!

Skillfully written with the right pace.

MICHAEL HAS A FUCKED UP ANNOYING FAMILY AND HE SHOULD GROW A PAIR AND ACT LIKE A MAN, NOT A WEAK SOFT WIMP

In spite of the fact that I found the bickering distasteful and that the sex was too violent to be affectionate, I'm mostly enjoying this so far. I'll give the opening installment a five even though I'm inclined to rate it lower. 5/5