All Comments on 'Moving Day With Mom'

Despite a few grammatical 5*

I loved the way you built the story adding detail after detail until the final climax (no pun intended). Some might complain about the length of the story and how there's no sex for the first half but I say the length was great and I'm glad it wasn't a wham bam story 3 paragraphs in. I actually wished it was longer as I wanted to read more about these characters. Hopefully there will be a followup chapter when the mom moves to Memphis. Five stars and a favorite point!

all I can say is WOW...

Some families are closer than others. It's all relative. This was a fast moving fun fantasy. Well done.

This story was awesome. I could only imagine living in this story and being Bub.

I had to read the whole story, from beginning to end.

Great story, thank you for it.

5 stars. I hope you continue the story. There are so few these days I feel that about.

Amazing story. Loved how you wrote it. I hope this will have many chapters. Love the story, glad that Gwen and him never got together.

WOW! I guess I shouldn't have been surprised given that I recognized the writer of 80 stories as the prolific blackrandy1957. Why on earth you would need ANY editor was a surprise to me, let alone your pantheon of accomplished writers up to and including the legendary GA. I intend to follow you from now on. Imagine, a publisher of 80 stories has NEVER scored lower than a 4.07 average rating, and rarely below 4.50!

Absolutely Beautiful, Randi! Wonderfully exciting love story!

Wow, what a great story. You made what should have been the weirdest thing into a wonderfully erotic sensuous story. I should have been repulsed, but with your cleverly crafted story line you drew me in.

To write such a compelling story is only possible for a great writer.

Congratulations on a good tale, well done. Five stars from me

TERRIFIC.

Wow! what a sexy little story! If I could dream up fantasies like that I wouldn't need Literoica! Wonderful well done indeed. And the grammar police can take a hike! Honestly, people!

First story of yours I have read. Many more to come I am sure. I should have listened to Harddaysknight years ago!

As of today you have one more follower and I have lots of reading to catch up!

Cheers

SAGE

Wow! I really enjoyed your story! I hope that you will continue telling us about “Mom” and her kids.

i always love reading your stories , the characters are so well fleshed out and their interactions so erotic and sensual, 5*s !

loved it hope the 2nd is soon great read thx

Excellent story of family love growing closer then it naturally was.

The one thing I expect based on the discussions between mom and Kit is that they both love Mason equally and the surprise was a separate apartment for mom instead of a larger condo for the three. Sex between the three and with Mason separately.

Please keep developing this story line, will love to see where you take it

I loved the way you built up this story and made it a very loving love story. But I love that you used "yeet" as a tag even more, and even fit the word into the story.

I really liked reading this. I'm kind of hopeing you do one or two more chapters with them.

Well Done!! Excellent build up the sex between both women was not rushed and flowed nicely. Another chapter would be nice to explore the family dynamic when their mother moves to Memphis. 5 stars!!

Not your usual but this was a trip. This was still a typical Randi fast-paced, tightly-written story.

Always a good day when there's a Randi story posted.

Hooked

"I knew I had a bottle of maple syrup up in the cabinet I had never opened,"

I'm sure Mason had opened the cabinet. Otherwise, how would he know the syrup was in there?

"I knew I had a bottle of maple syrup, up in a cabinet, I had never opened." would have said what you wanted it to say.

This was the only bone-jarring grammatical fauxpas, and very few others, which were more like chances for improvement rather than mistakes.

Thanks to your team for their wonderful work, but maybe a little reaming for dangling your participle is due.

With that said, I thoroughly enjoyed the story and your writing; it's why I put up with all the less-than-delectable submissions I have to sort through to find the gems.

It is definitely a rare pleasure when I get to click on that fifth star.

It was a good erotic romp. My only issue was that there was a romantic build up to the brother sister relationship, then wham mom is sucking his dick! I didn't get where that came from, it felt like there should have been a least a little build up like you did for the brother-sister. I think if you'd done that this would have been perfect. I give it 5 stars mainly of your writing skills and because I can't give it a 4.5; it certainly doesn't deserve a 4.

One of the best. Hope there’s a part 2 when mom moves to Memphis. Would love to see how they worked things out. Maybe a bit of 3 way???

Well-written, excellent plot and your pacing was fantastic. It flowed like warm honey over soft skin!!

As always I thoroughly enjoyed this story. This time there was some extra enjoyment with all the reminders of Memphis. As someone who’s been getting drunk on Beale since he was a teenager it was spot on although I prefer the Rendezvous for my BBQ fix lol.

In closing let me just say thank you for being one of the ones that inspired me to finally write my own story. I'd love to hear what you think if it if you find the time

Jack

The obligatory 'Yeet' good work, again.

Well hell's bells - One of your best stories to date in this genre! I know it probably isn't in your plans, but I'd love to see the story play its way out someday. Brilliant character development with a few twists along the way. 5*

I hope there is another chapter when the Mom moves to Memphis. Such a great story.

Normally I struggle to read a lengthy story when it has little to do with the theme of the overall story. In other words, there was very little "erotica" in much of the beginning or middle of this particular piece. But trust me, the description of these characters and the warmth they share as a family had me longing to read more.

I wanted to experience that gorgeous redheaded little sister, all the while wondering how their mother would fall into the story. Then, when Bub and his mother came together, it was like "WOW"! And there again, what about sis?

I could've enjoyed another page of Kit and Bub. But then again, if I could read into this, I think it's possible we may. Somehow someway, perhaps the family will come together.

What a lucky man Bub would be.

An awesome story with potential for more to come.

Wowsers ! Great story, it pulled me in and left me dazed ! 5 Stars @

You are an outstanding story teller! I really enjoyed the pace and the way it continued to build until the very end.

Thank you for writing for us!

DOS

More please!!!......I wanna see how this all plays out.

I'm always amazed how much you build your stories with so much detail and your sex scenes are insanely hot. This one was particularly fun and I always look forward to seeing that you've released a new story.

Very hot story!! Five Stars. Makes me envious of Mason.

Good story! Hope you can continue this story line.

Probably the best written most detailed piece of erotica I've ever read. Bravo!

Hope there's a follow up.

I've always loved you BlackRandl1958, so thank you so much for the stories.

Johnny

5 star..wonderful.

Fantastic !! I am in my seventies and have read a lot of stories over the years and this one is one of my all time favourites. keep up the good work !!

Top marks for a really great story of family love. There is so much more to be told as they go through life and I dearly hope you will keep going with this wonderful tale. 10/10

I liked the story and thought that all of the family elements worked well. My big challenge was with one key element of the character development in the beginning. The "lie" was a good opening to create sympathy for the lead character but disclosing that he had tickets for an event that he knew she had always wanted to attend instantly made me lose all sympathy for him. The message I took away when he handed her the envelope was 'I really don't care what you want, I wanted to go to a concert'. I lost all respect for the character at that point. If the envelope didn't exist or if it showed tickets for a future event it might have worked better..... On the positive side, everything after that was extremely well done.

One of the better stories I have read.

This story was great. Hope you continue it.

5 stars, and hopefully, more chapters on the way!

It's always a good day when you find a new Randi story. Thank you for a good one! 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

Love it

Great and extremely stimulating story!!!! Ready for part 2...I just need an hour or so to recover

Awesome story

Hope to hear more!

Thanks, Randi, for this delightful fantasy AND for all you do here on Lit to create the special events we all enjoy!

I don't read incest stories, except I read anything written by blackrandl1958. Given my aversion to incest stories,, I appreciated your well-written story Likeable characters in a story that kept my interest. However, I kept waiting for the reveal that the brother and sister were not genetic siblings There were hints along the way, describing the differences in skin tone, eye color, and hair color. I initially thought Kit was not a true sibling, but when mom appeared and was similar to Kit and mom blew Mason, I figured Mason would be adopted. But no statement about either child being adopted was made. If I am wrong about Kit and Mason not being genetic siblings, then the story is creepy to me, and rated 4 stars. Otherwise, a typically excellent blackrandl1958 story.

Your dialogue needs improvement.

There is no natural flow to it, and it's not how people talk.

It's as a bad as over-indulgent soap opera speak. I could tell you how to improve it, and it's a very simple fix once your eyes have been opened, but your sycophants - your "team" and fans - would just tell you there isn't a problem, so, on your own, because your "team" obviously can't help you, try and figure out what you're doing wrong.

@Annie: “Your dialogue...”

Yeah, well, anyone with so little taste and so lacking in manners as to insult kind people and friends who, out of the goodness of their hearts, donate their time and energy to help writers really has very little credibility, in my eyes. Zero, in fact. I know I have a vagina, but Imma need you to suck my dick.

Hey Anonymous with the dialogue hang up, how about you get yourself a user name and write a few stories to show us all how it's done. Obviously you must be a far superior writer than most author's here so we would love to see you put pen to paper to show everyone just how good you really are.

Great story keep up the great writing

Excellent!. I HAD to keep reading. How about part 2?

@Anonymous Re: Dialog - You DO realize that you are criticizing one of the best writers on this site, and I'm not just talking about the sycophants, her scores and positive comments from across the spectrum attest to that. Meanwhile you give ZERO examples, even though you "could" tell her how to fix it. Instead, you expect her to "figure out what [she's] doing wrong," when she doesn't believe that she's doing anything wrong! If you're going to make a critique, have the balls to pick ONE piece of dialog, and show how YOU would do it, and share your brilliance with the rest of us. Of course you don't because you know that everyone will see that her dialog blows yours out of the water, while yours just blows. Of course, you're Anon, so we can't see how you write dialog in your stories.

Loved the plot enjoyed it all the way through, hope you write parts 2 to follow it up

I enjoyed this story. There seemed as much Romance as Incest - the clueless guy just happened to be Kit’s brother. Their mother clearly had known Kit’s feelings for a while, had given it a lot of thought. She explained her rationale, but I think that she planned the playing in the truck to ease Mason into a discussion about Kit. He wasn’t ready to accept Kit without mom’s endorsement.

As always, well planned and well written.

Good story. Characters were well described. The brother/son to lover bit went a little fast for me. There was not enough shared as to why these women loved him.

Actually, cageysea9725, you still have it wrong! All you did was add a comma, where the REAL fix would be to move the modifier next to the noun:

...

"I knew I had a bottle of maple syrup I had never opened, up in the cabinet"

Loved it! Loved the way you introduced the characters, loved the way you layered the seduction, loved the way you did everything. Hopefully there will be more story's with this family. Maybe one or two with Mason and Kit through the internship, then a few more with Mom in Memphis, while Kit is finishing up at school.. then who knows... You just became one of my favorites here.... thank you.

Great story. Try for another chapter.

There has to be more. When is the next chapter coming....

Little to say .... other than AWESOME

Great story and so hot. I would like it if you continued the story but this also a good place to stop. As always you knocked it out of the park. Keep them coming because I have now read everything you have posted on Lit. with the exception of "Eye in the sky". I have been waiting for it to be complete before starting. Two thumbs up for Mom and Sis and another FIVE*****. Thank you for making me hard.

Well done! Always think of you as one of the best on Literotica. Loved the character development and build up. Would have liked a slightly longer seduction by mom, but still pretty hot. Thanks for all the entertainment you provide.

I was totally taken up in your story and left my life behind. Thank you!

Great story.

This was a great story. So beautiful. It would be nice if you would continue this!

That was a really, really great story. Perfect, thanks.

Few people write so well. 5 stars...could be more.!

It is a great story. Is there a follow up on how mum, sis & you grow together? AAAA++++

Lines like that distinguish you from the hacks on this site. I enjoyed your words as much as the sex, but then I'm a word geek! At any rate, I'm looking forward to more of your writing.

~B

Excellent story again! Epic tale of mother/sister/son where everyone will be happy. :-)

DT

Adding Mom was a pleasant surprise.

Why not move into a big house?

Fantastic story, Randi, thanks! Love the slow build-up and detail of the story.

You have a wonderful gift Randi I enjoyed this story from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing that gift with us.

Very nice. Will be reading more from you.

As it's you in thought I'd read this story and as usual, despite the category, I found it impressive. A lot crammed into 4 pages as a story so loving and well written one actually can forget the classification and revel in the lovecstory that unfolds. 5 stars.

As usual, probably no chance of a continuation.

Well written. Very fast paced but there is a lot going on and it all fits well together. Thought it was a little odd that there never was any conversation about birth control. He just dumped a load into his 50 year old mother and his younger sister. Could be a house full of kids in the future. I did enjoy the mother actions from the car ride to getting her in the bed. The sis wasn't bad either, just something about having sex with your mother that is more intriguing. Good story all the same.

Randi always tells a really great tale and I love everything she does! Five Stars for another beautiful story by one of the best there is.

Slow down and tell me more.

Good leads, though long at first, it pick up with anticipation. Imagination keeps readers drooling for more. 5*

excellent !!! Mom should have bought a big house with a HUGE Master Bedroom, LOL

Hi Randi.

Thanks for the hot erotic descriptions. The mom should have bought a bigger house right from the start.

BJ

What a sweet story.. 5🌟+

Another erotically fantastic story. Why are we limited to only 5 stars?!?!

I think more chapters need to be done. At least have Kit get pregnant

(11/28/2021) Nicely done. This was a loving, and erotic fantasy. I agree with the commenters below. Yes, a bigger house, and more chapters with babies. Why is Kit a redhead? Is she really his sister or just half-sister? Who was daddy and what did he die of? I do love redheads. 5 stars from me.

Extremely well written story. Great plot line. One of the best stories I've read on Literotica. Great job!

Very nice story...spicy, even!!

Where is the next chapter? Please!!??

Wow.i love this like that story care package.alot of details

Damn, that was a fantastic story, I can't help but to ask for more.

Randi, love your stories. Was so bummed when you seemed to have gone silent but then I saw you were editing and working with other writers. This story lends itself to another chapter and I imagine it would be great too. Thanks for your writing!

Awesome!!

Randi, without any effort to "blow smoke up..." I gotta tell ya that IMNSHO you are the BEST EROTIC WRITER IN THE WORLD, and most likely the Milky Way galaxy. May 2022 be wonderful for you!

All the best,

Paul

Wow and re-wow! A masterpiece! Worth two sets of 5 stars each, back to back. This is the best erotic description I ever read from any writer. Worth reading over and over again. If you feel blue, it will make you see pink and prepare you for a time of deep and warm intimacy. If you are already in the pink, it will make it glow in warmth and intensity. Somehow, I feel as if you are digging deep in your own life and slowly describe this experience as you lived it or as you would like to experience the joys of life and sex. This adds to the reality and intensity of this story of love with a mother AND a sister; it also adds a very personal touch. Will there be a follow up?

Thx

BJ

wow, I hope you expand on this story and make multiple chapters....way to go.

Great,except that silly scene with mom in the truck!

LeB