All Comments on 'Mr. & Mrs. America, Aftermath'

and wasnt nearly as emotional as the Jezzaz original.

where Mike was resurrected, then it became another pulp story on the site (except that in this case the wife did not suffer financially).

A forty-something sedentary professor suddenly became buff enough to take down the best of Annapolis - really?

A better story line, (IMHO) would have to been to have them get together after the separation, with a totally new relationship dynamic in place.

I would not consider this one of your better efforts.

I enjoyed the original story although I would have liked to see how that ended. Then you post this take on the ending and it was just excellent. I look forward to a sequel. The characters are fascinating.

Thank you for a fine story.

3 completely despicable people. Daddy, wifey and of course Mikey. As selfish and pragmatic as the lawyer/bitch was I would test the kids' DNA first thing. Still be my kids but I would need to know. I really don't understand her inability to say that she was sorry for what she did or even acknowledge how self-serving and underhanded she was on a daily basis. I suspect that maybe Daddy was hitting that too, for his cooperation in the op. As for Mikey, that's a forgone conclusion, he hit that every time he was in town. He envied Pete too much and since the bitch was so complicit in all of the other stuff, fucking the best friend and making Pete an unknowing cuckold would have gone a long way towards her need to be in control.

Well written story and I am personally looking forward to your next installment of this story line. Also the next anything that you write. Thanks for sharing your talent.

A reasonable explanation for not telling the kids; not so much for not letting them read the letter from their mother and listen to the recording of her verifying the authenticity of said letter.

And I was enthralled !

Man , this felt like I was 12 years old again , when the huge round rock started chasing after Indiana Jones. This was heady stuff indeed.

I read the Jezzaz story first ( thanks , I normally only peruse the LW section), and what a gem that was.

I guess I finally got it that this story was based on that, and not a true continuation when the Protag's name changed from Jason to Pete. I truly wish this happened more now , other than a few blips , it has seemed to fall out of favor here on Lit. A shame really.

But I digress, the Pete character was much different than Jason , he had balls. Jason was much more introverted . Couldn't see him swashbuckling like Pete.

The premise that jezzaz's story , made me think does the level of betrayal rise to the level of divorce and estrangement for the wife and father respectively , I liked the way he set up the story line but it also made me wince.

I kept waiting for you to reconcile them , and it actually fooled me when you didn't. Also would've liked to have a little bit more backstory on Pete's parents , that seems to be a story unto itself.

So overall yes I was entertained , Per Maximus Decimus Meridius of Gladiator fame !

I could actually see this as a Hollywood epic film.

thanks Q

5 *'s

This was really a great story with interesting adventures. One issue, maybe just me, were there things beyond the almost obvious that Jo, Mike and his dad might have done? What was the connection with Mike, friend, relative ...?

Tiny Tim

Q, that was another excellent read. I gave it a solid 5 star rating and can't wait for parts 2, 3 and 4 to follow. Keep up your excellent work. Thanks.

Excellent story. 5 Star+

About the only thing missing was mention of how he dealt with his "sperm donor" and mother at the wedding(s), or whether they were even in attendance.

This might be your best yet. Loved the development of the story. I started out thinking that this guy was making a mountain out of a molehill, and then more details made it evident what a bitch his wife truly was. I kept hoping for some breakthrough on her part, but it never came until apparently too late. Brilliant. Would love more. Five stars and an instant favorite.

Boston is still your best, and one of the best on this site. However, the potential of this tale is unlimited. Kind of like DQS's When We Were Married. She still loves him, that much is evident, but there is something there holding her back. Would love to see it develop and potentially resolve itself. Just like I dream of eventually seeing DQS finally publish his long awaited sequel, I want to see this story line continue.

But I liked the original just as much.

Very entertaining.

I'm seriously pissed that the stupid cunt destroyed her marriage over fucking pride!

Really disgusted with her behavior. So she was busily fucking other lawyers and that Allen guy?

That needs resolved and almost cost you a star. Too entertaining to not give you full measure however. Well done.

so I can see Jo get together with her lawyer friend or will seek out Mike. Am a little confused to just whos children they are?? I can see by the way this is written it could go eather way. The whole Miscarrage scam along with Jakes greaving is a tear jerker. I feel you have a very good story here and I for one hope you contilue this and do not have a rushed ending. ... On a nother thought....any chance you would like to write an ending to the 'alex_lover's' story Revelations. There have been afew but I believe you could write a very good ending to his story. Thanks Again 4*

Really. Just enough getting even without being "too" avenging. I though you did the original story a good turn and wrote what was - in fact - a reasonable and readable part two. (Though I don't think "Jezz" would have continued down the path you chose.) Looking forward to watching the world change...but that may have been a simple tease.

To all the upset members of the commentariat...what's up with that? Are we having trouble separating fact from fiction? Has Faux News and Conservative/Conspiracy radio got you all mixed up, turned around, and generally flummoxed? C'mon...it's a story, a tale well told, a yarn expertly spun. I liked it.

Well done Q

It was interesting to read. The dichotomy of two different plots ruined the emotional impact for me. Was this a marriage betrayed and his recovery. Or was this "Indiana Jones" action and archeology?

Then you bring Mike back to life which made this a real fantasy. It helped validate your protagonist' actions.

Gave it 3*s. That's entertainment,lol.

AMerryman

Action was very good, crazy middle east seemed to be as is where is. She never said she was sorry is so lame, I almost didn't finish it. They both needed to grow up and smell the roses. But, you have the opportunity to correct relationship mistakes with the new find. Hope you do.

By the way. I agree that Boston is one of my favorites on this sight!

I can not avoid noticing a similarity with Indiana Jones, but it was fun to read and the plot and betrayal made it interesting. Realizing your entire marriage was built on a lie created by those you truly love, must be a devastating feeling. Trying to see what was true and what was a lie, and on top of that the lost of the trust in the woman you have loved all your life can be earth shattering. A good reading. Thanks for the work.

So first thing, right off the bat, I really wish this was a completely separate story from the original Mr. and Mrs. America. It was very hard for me to reconcile the characters as they were COMPLETELY different than the original story. After a while, I just had to forget about the original story and treat it like an alternate dimension.

Now to the actual story, I thought it was good. I had hoped for reconciliation, but for some reason, Jo turned into a shrew. What I wanted was for Jake to do his grand adventure and realize that it wasn't what he always dreamed of. I wanted him to admitted to himself that while his father/wife/friend were all wrong for how they deceived him, they did have best interests at heart. Instead the story turned what was originally a difficult but well intentioned plan into a selfish act of betrayal.

Anyway, keep giving us stories because you're worst stories are STILL better than 80% of the crap on this site.

the 1st story could be real the 2ed not even close no- one in part two was anything like part one just a tall spy type story ..... stlcris

Great story! Truth is stranger than fiction as they say, and I'm sure that there are many people around the world who would astound everyone that they know if the truth about who they really are and what they really do came to light. The sad truth about this story is that there are far too many people in this world who are just as manipulative and self serving as those depicted by the characters in this story. I enjoyed the story, even though in some ways it's more of a sad tragedy than an adventure action story. I can't wait to read more about the characters created by this author. I do hope that the author will explain how he got the new wound though, I'm sure it will make for interesting reading.

You seem to have a hatred of all wives. I don't even have to read your stories to know where they are going. Very sad................

Loved it. Very pleased to read about a guy who doesn't wimp out and became a sissy for a heartless wife. And loved the adventure. This is cream that rises to the top from all the crude of LW.

Thanks for the read.

Agree - This should be a separate story because characters are not similar.

- The truth hurts sometimes. In Mike's case it hurt a lot.

Disagree - For all you one-star haters you can go chop off your left hand with a badass sword and shove both the hand and sword up your assholes. This story is fire.

- Run of the mill spy story? Heh. Q is a god and he weaves magic. Using words.

- Predictable? Ok, maybe just a little, but it was very enjoyable nontheless.

5 stars? Agree 110%.

I can't imagine this story ending without a reconciliation between Pete and Jo.

It's a pretty good story, as far as follow-ups go, but it just seems to lack the

emotion. the humanity this author usually puts into his stories.

While I was debating with FD45 === about the believability/crediblity of Mike & other issues and characters === I had the same thought Lance_Spearman noted: if there's any major character in this story that is a bit less than believable, it is our hero.

There is no way, in reality that is, that a soft-bellied, soft-handed, scholarly professor of 40 plus year-old... 100% "sedentary" ... that he's going to our-run, out-sword, out-wit, out-shoot killers IN THE BATTLE FIED chaos... of more than line front lines of hundreds of different groups all dangerous to each other and all outsiders...

If Mike, the "rogue" CIA, who's in the game his entire life, couldn't cut it... our hero has next to no real chance of surviving in Syria with those different groups of Rebels and Jihadists... Hell, Assad's even worse, with KGB Col. Putin's personal help...

I just didn't or couldn't bring it up. So I'll just second Lance_Spearman on that very good observation.

I am also a bit disappointed neither the boy nor the twin girls were really fully developed, despite the length of the story. Except for platitudes and cliches, or as devices for the warring parents to use to express their outrage for each other, the three young people had very little to do in this rather long story. I almost know more about the dead/fake kid who was never born than I do about their "real" kids...

That said, this still was a very written little story.

normally qhml1 weaves a tale that engages and interests the readers.

The characters here.....well suck. UNBELIEVABLE is an understatement.

The main character is a whinnie bitch....so his wife lied to him. SO! That's the whole basis for the story.....try again buttercup because that just sucks for a jumping off point into the story.

Well everyone is allowed a miss......and you did in grand form.

Who is this guy and what is HE doing here?

My points:

For real your stuff is not the same caliber as the other stuff here. Ever heard of Penguin-Random House?

Second, why is this in Loving Wives? I guess for the comments, but then you get the irrational assholes. Had it been in any other category you'd be in the 485-490 range.

Third, about the content. The Jezzazz tale left me flat, so did this one. Why? Because this one ended. I could've used another seven or eight pages.

I do have some other comments.

His injuries were spectacular and romantic, the scar on the cheek, too Teutonic. Maybe something more serious, something that would have rendered him vulnerable and physically weak upon his return to England. Something that would have given Jo a chance to try to lavish some attention and affection. This to...

I would have like more ambivalence regarding Jo. "Oh she used me, but then the kids, and twenty-three wonderful..." BUT one 'almost affair' in twenty-three years. I would have liked to have seen a couple real skeletons come out of her closet, maybe one something that became the determining factor, maybe a confession, "Mike and I once...but nothing issued from it. Yes they're yours, you know they are." I bet they were there.

Mike should have died. He should have suffered mightily from his wounds, never fully recovered, and died an angry lonely man.

Gosh this was a great story, really fun to read!

Jedd Clampett

After reading this single story I am looking forward to reading more of your work!

First, you're a class act. I love your writing and look forward to anything with your name attached to it. So, consider this a quibble...

I get that you had this story in your head and decided to use Jezzaz's characters, but this went from an LW story to a Clive Cussler / Dan Brown kind of thing. That's fine. Yet in order to make it work, the characters had to change dramatically and that's what killed it for me. See in the original, Mike and Jo truly loved him yet did something horribly wrong. In this story, they were cold, manipulative people who never cared about him to begin with.

Mike went from being his best friend since childhood who tried to spare him a life that would have destroyed him, into a lying, spiteful, hateful, asshole who really wanted to steal his wife away and actually tried, and then did his utmost to make Jake's life miserable. And Jo? She went from a totally in love with Jake wife who did something wrong, to a never loved him, super career focused, willing to cheat but got caught, lying, cold, manipulative bitch. Let's just focus on these two. Forget, for a moment, how Jake went from college professor to super spy who can kill at point blank range with no hesitation.

All the dramatic tension was gone. This would have been so much more powerful if it was a "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" story, where Mike and Jonreally were good people who did a bad thing out of love for Jake. Instead, we all hate them and are happy they get their just desserts. Not enough for Mike to die in the original. Nope, stretch all credulity and have them meet again just so Jake can chop off some limbs. Because of course Jake has the stomachs for that now. And Jo too.

As I said before, you wanted to tell a Clive Cussler type of story and you did it well. Shame you had to ruin some interesting characters along the way to do so.

Looking forward as always.

This story would have been much better if you, the author, had created your own background. I read the original first (even though I found that I didn't really enjoy it after the first two pages.)

You changed all the characters so much that I was mentally screaming "NO, not again!" Had you created your own opening, I'm sure that this wouldn't have happened.

I stopped reading on page 5, which I normally would not do with one of your stories.

By page three, it became a work of stereotypes, with two dimensional characters.

Too bad.

ttom

OK..I read the whole story after going back and reading Mr & Mrs America as you suggested. I really wished I hadn't because you have changed the characters way too much. Each story would be better as a stand alone and not connected. I believe in the first story Pete and Jo after 23 years would have found common ground since they both loved one another so much. Also think you should have left Mike dead..when he is revealed to still be alive..it took the story down a level (kind of like the "Dallas Dream" sequence from years ago--anyone else remember that dumb shit?).

All that being said...I enjoyed the overall tale and look forward to your sequels. Don't be afraid to have Jo reappear from time to time...after all they share kids and 23 years together. And in the end she did apologize which was what he said he wanted. There should still be some bond there. ("Bond"..get it..James Bond...OK maybe not).

Thanks for the story!

"Buckeye Fan"

I've never liked it when raped is used as a tool to create drama, I would have liked this story more if the author had restrained himself from having Fatima raped. The story could have progressed the exact same way without that tasteless bit, if they had tried to keep Fatima safe, the father-daughter charade was pretty retarded, and instead had two men travelling back and forth, with one of them knocked unconscious and brought to the village to be executed.

As another commenter noted, you definitely took a different tack from the original story, I think. But that's fine with me.

I just wanted to comment a tad on a couple of myths you mentioned in the story.

It is true that very early Islamic culture remained a tad ahead of Europe's in some "technology" aspects before 1000AD. But that's basically because they DID have access to a lot of Greek classics - especially Aristotle - that were housed in Alexandria and other cities in the Mideast that never suffered from Germanic tribal barbarians who DID pillage and rape and destroy books in Rome and Western Europe before their own eventual conversion to Christianity. But other than that (and the Bubonic Plague 150 years from @1350-1500AD)) the "Dark Ages" is really mostly myth. All kinds of technological advances occurred in Europe from 500 to 1000AD, including widespread adoption of windmills and waterwheels AND the elimination of slavery as the basic economy. (Something that did NOT occur in the Islamic world.) Classical Rome had waterwheel technology but never used it much because human slaves were so cheap and plentiful. One book to read is "The Victory of Reason" by sociologist and historian Rodney Stark.

Also check out Pope Sylvester II - at least read the Wikipedia article.

Sorry to seem pedantic but all the current false history myths just bother me a tad - especially nonsense like "The Da Vinci Code". (Not that your writings are anything like the internal inconsistencies presented in that best selling comic book. ;-)

re:

I just wanted to comment a tad on a couple of myths you mentioned in the story.

--------

Oh come on now.

Slavery has been illegal in Saudi Arabia since 1969 (AD or CE, whichever you prefer).

I have not ever, nor will I ever accept rape as literary fodder. That one bit of uncalled for paragraph consuming tripe cost one star.

Rape IS a vile, degrading brutal act. How about murder? Can we write about that? Genocide? How about racial violence then? All bad but yet acceptable to write about.

My answer to annony mouse is, get off your high horse! It was a good story and was well writen. Just because it had a part in it you didn't like doesn't make it a 'bad book'.

I understand that book burning was acceptable once, would that be something you would encourage? I know a story where a bloke was actually nailed to a cross! Yet it's still accepted as a good read.

Slavery in SA, may have been outlawed but in 1991, I had sheiks trying to buy soldiers in my unit from me.

I convinced them that the US Army "owned" the soldiers, and they were not for sale.

Pjryan

Congrats. What a brilliant sequel. Five out of five. Probably the best thing you've written since Boston to Birmingham, IMHO.

I loved Jezzaz's original and was hoping for a sequel. Your story fits perfectly and preserves the original characters exactly.

A constructive criticism I notice a couple of very minor typos, a couple of times I wasn't sure if a character was speaking out loud or thinking because the quote marks seem wrong or missing, and I still think the main character would have DNA testing done on his kids.

Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for writing it.

Steve

Thanks for sharing.

Till the end of the story was telling in and of itself. Kind of shows that she really didn't love him truly all those years. Fake miscarriage is the lowest of the low. You never did mention what happened with his mother and father, did he reconcile with either of them?

Congratulations on taking a perfectly good story by another author and doing exactly as this drooling, chest slapping, pathetically over-compensating "machismo" man straight out of Michael Bay's wettest camo dreams did and pissing all over it.

I should've suspected from 500 Annies but man you really pushed the point home here that there is no such thing as grey in your stories. God forbid there's any sort of ambiguity or actual characters that aren't laughably cartoonish, that might *le gasp!* force your readers to actually think! And heaven knows none of us simple clods would know how to deal with that kind of complexity!!

You somehow managed to take a character that had a half-way decent life and had an understandable reaction to one lie that turned out to be in his best interests (because let's be honest, the Jake in the original Mr. & Mrs. America and especially the parody of him in your steroid-wanking fantasy could never handle actual espionage work) and turned him into the worst kind of pointless Rambo/Taken/Equalizer/god-knows-how-many-other Generic Action Guy caricature.

Ya know: espionage work? The things like getting innocent kids hooked on drugs in order to blackmail their rich executive parents, fucking complete strangers in order to get dirt on their employers/spouses, turning people's private security against them, doing terrible things in order to advance what might be your country's interests or your country's political agenda with no actual out or end or resolution in sight? Things the story you claimed to have enjoyed and read actually listed off as examples that you could've easily worked backward from?

But why bother with that kind of pansy-ass, high-fallutin' "intellectual" crap when you can just shamelessly rip off so much Indiana Jones and replace the Nazis with "dem turrists" so that there's zero shred of doubt that the family he's had for twenty plus years are the bad guys and that our paragon of manliness is the only one who can possibly be right?

But that's not enough, no no no. Why stop at making what was an interesting, conflicted, realistic (for a given standard on literotica anyway) set of characters into a bunch of one dimensional hatchet jobs that exist for no other reason than the drunken frat boy's idea of a manly man that is your "Jake" to prove his moral superiority to?

The friend who resented getting into the espionage game but didn't want his friend to suffer even as he wanted to trade places with him, who was like a brother to him, who his kids loved like an uncle even when they didn't get to see him too often? FUCK DAT, MAKE 'IM A RAPIST IN CAHOOTS WIT DA TURRISTS AND LET'S CUT HIS FEET OFF AND FUCK HIM WITH HIS OWN COCK AND RAGGLE BRAGGLE!!!!

The wife who loved her husband and never backed down from his anger and calmly, rationally explained her position and why she felt that way? FUCKING MANIPULATIVE CUNTBAG SLUT, SHE ALMOST SLEPT HER WAY TO DA TOP, SHE WAS HOLDIN' ME BACK FROM BEIN' DA NEXT JAMES BOND FUCK-ASS CUNTY LYING UPPITY BITCH!!!

The father who actually did espionage work for a living for most of his life and so you'd think would actually know something about whether his son (the actual one, not the self-congratulatory asshated shitstain you replaced him with in this story) was suited to that sort of thing, and did absolutely nothing to stop his Jake from doing exactly what Mike did and actually getting introduced to people in the business before he met Jo? EVIL SPERM DONATERIN' BASTURD HELD ME BACK FROM MA DREAMS!! FUCK HIM, I'LL SEND HIM MAH FORMER RAPIST FRIEND'S HANDS, THAT'LL SHOW 'IM HOW TOTALLY WELL-ADJUSTED AND MENTALLY SUITED TO THIS I AM!!! AND FUCK HIS CUNT WIFE FOR LYIN' TO ME AND NEVER TELLIN' ME I WAZ DA BESTEST OF ALL DA BESTEST SPIES IN ALL DA WORLDZ!!!!!

But hey, the ratings appear to bear you out right? You've got countless howler monkeys flinging their feces at the caricatures you've already been giving your own personal golden shower to, and they love you for it. So I guess it turns out Michael Bay was right. All it takes is flashy lights plus lowest common denominator pandering and boom!! You'll get all the idiots you could ever want crawling out of the woodwork to defend their newly lionized manly man who don't take no shit from nobody.

Personally, I only made it to about page 2 before I mentally kept replacing the name Jake with the word Fuck-face. If for no other reason than to make it so that when the other characters talk to him, they would address him by the name he earned. Personally, I think his wife and family are better off without his delusional, self-obsessed, whiny, bitchy, drama queen bullshit.

If you put this Jake in a barber's chair and shaved him bald, the charge would be for a bikini wax.

If you stuck an electric socket in front this Jake and said "Don't stick your cock in there," he'd wail about how he was being oppressed and attempt to fuck it less than two seconds later.

If you took a recording of all the times this Jake whined and moaned and complained about being manipulated into a life many people would kill to have and turned it up to full volume blast, every gynecologist within earshot would wonder who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick a microphone in her cunt and let out such a long queef into the pa system.

If you put this Jake at a cooking station with every reality show star, he'd still sweep first place for Pissiest Bitch in the Kitchen.

If this Jake ever met the characters from the Twilight novels, they'd call him a fucking drama queen.

So congrats again on taking a perfectly good story and managing to taint it by association. I sincerely hope you're proud of yourself.

Your proponent should have just stood in a corner and pouted.

Wonderful sequel! This as good as it gets and I can not wait for the next installation!!!

WDS

Mr. Qhml1,

I usually enjoy your writing, but in this case, I think you really went off the rails here. I don't believe the characters in Jezzaz's original story were written in such a way as to make this story at all realistic, They may have the same names, but they are completely different characters, and not very enjoyable ones, particularly Jake.

He has mutated from a thoughtful, perhaps ultimately grateful man into another LW prototypical man-as-victim-of-women. Resentful, whiny, staggering, fleeing, reacting, hateful, etc. All the most "manly", "un-wimpy" emotions and behaviors that the retarded denizens of Lit LW admire the most about a "man".

He has turned from a pretty decent guy, who seems comfortable in his life, into a real wastrel, who starts throwing tantrums in order to feel "like a man".

I don't understand what impelled you to trash the original story so badly. It is almost as if the only successful formula for this genre is the emotional 12-year-old who rages against every woman who is not a fairy-tale princess. One who spews hatred and destruction all around him to distract himself from his own insecurities and lack of self-worth. One who cannot or will not see the consequences of his actions, and won't act in his own best interest, because of some comic book moral code.

You took Jezzaz's original characters and sucked the humanity out of them. Turned them from real, multi-dimensional people into caricatures that fit the one-dimensional "story line" that the LW readers demand. If you want the highest marks in the voting, however, you need to completely ruin the lives of all the women in the story, including Jake's mother. Gotta burn them bitches!

Please stop pandering to the trolls. You're better than this.

... and fairly eloquently and completely, too!

So, what's in the scroll? 🤔😎

This is epic! Always love your writing. Keep on!

The really high-risk assignments are like elite corps in the military and the qualifications for them are very, very rigorous. So there's a high probability that he would have washed out early on in the evaluation process and ended up working behind a desk as an analyst and going home to the wife and kiddies every night anyway. Instead, he found out later in life what his family had done, went out looking for "the life" he'd been "cheated" out of and found opportunities for danger with much looser standards. So they ended up manipulating him into more danger than he probably would have ever faced if they had just left him do what he had wanted to in the first place.

"But you were my husband. I'd come to expect things like that from you, and that negated any thrill I may have gotten." - The old "it doesn't mean anything if the husband does it" crap!

"I was a single parent, juggling my job against the needs of the kids, while you chased your dream." - Yeah, she gets to chase HER dream, but fuck his!

"Will you ever tell me what caused the split?" - I would have Polly tell her mother that either she told them or I will, that they deserved to know.

what is out there we don't know and probably never will. TK U MLJ LV NV

While the "continuation" barely resembles the original, it was a vivid portrayal of what could have been if only.

Enough kernels have been cast for several threads to spin off in multiple directions. A lengthy series could be on offer.

i usually rate this Authors work very highly

best i can say in regards to this tale ...

it's interesting

i did think that maybe the story tags could have been

Parody

comedy

silly

Voted 4 stars

I've read this a couple of times before, but for the first time I noticed that the idiot believed Jo when she said she was on the pill. Really? In a couple of months he'll get a call and this time she really will be pregnant.

A good saga apart froom spelling mistakes and wrong words

So well written, I had to go and read the 1st before attempting to respond or rate.

But so sad, I simply comment.

And thank you for sharing your superlative imagination and writing skills with us.

5* After rereading the original story for the background. I really liked where you've taken this story.

But not much. In an effort to eliminate vindictiveness from the protagonist you managed to turn him into Mahatma Gandhi reincarnated. And the kids? Really? Those are supposed to be adults? Jeez

Still one of the best.

But the original version was much more realistic...

I kept thinking that with a little more "adventure" this would have made a best selling novel. Thanks for sharing this fine piece if work. BK

Better than chap. 1. Was glad to see point hammered home there needs to be honest remorse. To me, a faked miscarriage hurts more deeply than a fuck session. Trust is much harder to reestablish.

Sorry to see you have not continued this series, such a shame.

Some of these comments apply to the later S7 series also:

When Pete confronts Mike about Mike not being shot wasnt consistent with the original Mr and Mrs America as in that Jake spent three weeks with Mike somewhere while Mike recovered from a gunshot.

Petes comment about loving Jo doesnt ring true within this section otherwise he would have talked rather than acted like a two year old having a temper tantrum.

Pete takes to Maddy just taking everything as gospel from her even though she has been lying and not telling the truth for 20 plus years to anyone as part of her training. So why does he believe her and not Jo.

Cant locate it exactly but seems one of the daughters names got changed somewhere in one of his toasts to the lost in one of the S7's.

Some or all of these may have already been commented on but I havent read all the comments.

Otherwise really good read.. your stories are some of the best on this site well thought out and constructed. End had an especially nice twist with the headlines.

waiting for the next part. it has been awhile. great read

I read the original story because I wanted to read this one. I can't express how disappointed I am with this sequel. Jake went from being a likeable semi-victom in the first story, to a complete D-bag in a little over 1 page in this sequel. Honestly that was all I could read!!!!

You went from a single agenda - people who "knew" what the life would be like and "knew" it would destroy him convincing someone who loved him something fierce to do something to save him from that destruction of self - even though that something was horrible...

To people fucking with him his whole life and then INTENTIONALLY destroying that life he thought he had...

I mean, yeah he's pissed they took that choice but would he really have had the kids he did if he'd taken that choice...? And is he going to really be mad that he now has them...?

And you just had to keep making each of the three worse as the story progressed... just seemed highly unlikely as takes go no matter how well it was written...

Let me say that I love your story, I love the way you write. I love the way you develop your chacters, but this time you completely wronged the original story.

First, why writing a sequel of s story that was already ended. Take most of Just PLain Bob stories and finish some of them. God knows that the guy can't go further than the first chapter (I love his stories but let's be honest, he left most of them without ending).

Second, you completely changed the story and the characters. The original plot was kind of childish and inmature but at least made sense with the way Jezzaz ended. Your story makes no sense at all. You made Jake a compelte asshole.

Sorry man 1* for me. Nice story but not a sequel of the original.

Fodder for the virgin neckbeards is fine, just don't do it on some other author's vastly superior work.

Do yourself and everyone else a favor and beg the mods to pull this stinking turd of a story down.

You took a character from the first chapter who was a total pussy who let everyone in his life walk all over him and gave him a backbone. After the first chapter I really despised the guy for being the who he was. I also hated his wife for being such a controlling bitch. I was glad to see her getting exactly what she deserved. The first chapter got a 3* from me but this ending earned an easy 5*. The only thing that would have made it better would have been a little discussion between him and her lawyer almost-lover. It was also nice to see that Mike ended up with a mundane dead end job. Makes my heart glad.

Funny how all the detractors are anonymous. To bad they can't write and tell a good story.

What a follow up. Brilliant! Simply brilliant. If you can not appreciate the terrific skills of this author and AFTER reading this the whole way through....AND still spew nonsense about this story, I am at a loss. An amazing read that comes with all the bells and whistles. High adventure, action, drama, and the all the makings of a, "Loving Wives" story...a wife unworthy of the man she choose. This is NOT a flash story. But it is well written and a joy to read. Thanks author for sharing again your talented skills.

"FUCK DAT, MAKE 'IM A RAPIST IN CAHOOTS WIT DA TURRISTS"

Far be it from little ol' me to interrupt a classic internet rant, but are you even aware of a fraction of the dealings the CIA that have been made public? Q made Mike very realistic, I'm sure Maura Clarke, Ita Ford, Dorothy Kazel and Jean Donovan would agree if they were alive to do so.

You did a decent job making the turn around from from original Jezzaz story. I sympathize more with your take of his emotions. I also think it plausible the additional details provided about Jo's part in life such as her almost affair and ruthless career. I can see someone who manipulates her boyfriend to that extent do those very things. And in my opinion I imagine she still isn't truly sorry for what she did... My gut feeling is that she was sorry she was caught and lost her husband but not actually sorry she manipulated him. Finally blaming her almost affair on Pete because he was boring even though her actions caused the whole situation just shows once more how selfish, manipulative, and disrespectful she is... Only stopping because she was afraid of getting caught not because of her marriage.

Can't wait to read the next chapter.

I enjoyed the story but I'm confused as hell by the switching back and forth of the main characters names from Jake to Pete to Jake and back to Pete. I'm not really sure what that was all about. All the other character's names didn't change but his. Is there significance in that?

You had him waffling so long and still claiming to love the evil witch. He had to be one sick dude himself to still love such an evil person. Also those were not clips they were magazines get you s h it straight.

Too long - Too Convoluted - And in the end he was just another wimp !

She deserved everything she got - what they did to him was unconscionable. The deceitful attitudes of his "friends" and family was beyond the pale. What they did, they did TO him, not FOR him. She wanted a respectable husband, a breadwinner, someone who would always be there for her and the family - so she lied, cheated, and stole his dreams, claiming it was done out of love, but really because she needed him to fit into her mold. What a complete bitch. So happy you gave him a backbone and a "whatever it takes to get the job done" attitude.

Thanks for a great story. I'm starting the others right away. Great writing.

And it for sure takes away the bad taste in my mouth that the original Jezzaz story left. Except for the Jake/Pete confusion, an excellent job -- plotting, characters, consequences, denouement....

Thanks for another fine one -- now on to the S7 follow-ups.

A fine tale thank you.

Enjoyed it much. All the wife ever had to do was recognize she was wrong to do it

Thanks for making him consistant from beginning to end.

"Mr and Mrs America" provides no basis for this story. In the original, the protagonist agrees that he is happy with the way his life turned out and while he has some regrets he is happy with wife and parents and the decision to keep him out of covert affairs. There is absolutely no basis for his reaction to his wife, parents, and life as portrayed here. Basically, you have written a sequel to Gone With the Wind where you use all the names of the characters from that book but place them in a world where the South won the Civil War. There is no basis for your interpersonal relationships so all your angst is laughable. If you had actually taken the time and effort to create an original backstory, this might have been a decent story.

Me thinks we all know why most men read Literotica, so why should this reader be much different. Standing here accused be me. That said good authors are few and far between so except this complement, you are good. With my limited experence the story was based in knowledge of the subject with just enough of what we read Literotica for to keep it interesting. Be well and enjoy good fortune in the future.

Second or third time reading this and it is just as good as the first time.

Thank you for your writing and the entertainment.

Mike from Texas.

But I question the wisdom of allowing Mike to live - even after his amputations. He knew too much. Jake should have let Fatima castrate him, or completely remove his manhood. Fitting for a rapist... Then Jake could have sent that appendage to Jo.

Just wow.

OK that was funny.

No, someone speaking Fassa would not be Arab but Persian. You are way to loose with your faclts.

Man. U. NOT Mann U. And Bentley not Bently.

"cuck in a closet"

Really enjoyed your story, however there was a promise of a further one or two episodes in three weeks.. That was on 06/11/16 it is now 08/02/18 what happened ?

Ever heard of "Don't make promises that you don't intend to keep" ? You're now over 14 months overdue.....

You will find the sequel you demanded at #10 rated LW story - S7:Holy War.

That is further continued in the #1 rated LW story - S7:Jihad.

But don't bother reading the sequels, it's just more entitled man-baby-cum-super-spy stuff.

Perhaps if you had one of your own instead of just borrowing many you would know what the word actually means?

Nice job. The Jake/Pete character was a cockold of sorts for almost nine pages. Jo should have been as dead to him as his father. He should have told the kids right away. I was waiting for the "cheat" shoe to drop. Knew it was coming. If he had known that on page 2 or 3, he could have ended it right then. Mike was a bastard.

I wrote the same thing some time ago. You seem to be the first to agree with me. A good story, but not a sequel of the original. He totally changed the characters

Who was it Jake or Pete? Seemed that you were confused. Not surprising as the main character did not follow the original story. Definitely an unexpected change.

Your usual anger did come out in this story. This mostly the differentiation from the original.

Look forward to your next one

Not quite the same as the original but I did find this “sequel” to be a better read. Each author has their style. Would like to see qhml1 rewrite the original with this character style. I do not think jezzaz could have done a sequel as well.

Very nicely done.

Read the original again and it pissed me off again. Has to be something wrong with authors who write stories like that however talented they may be. Feel much better after reading this one. Thank you.

jezzaz's Jake would not have disowned his mother and broken his father's nose. He would not have gone into BTB mode over Jo. He would not have been able to become a super-spy, much as he dreamed it growing up.

I can understand you wanting to give Jake the life he missed, and writing a good story to do so. The problem is that yours is NOT a sequel; it is an alternate universe.

And by the way, you also totally contradict the point of jezzaz's story. Sequels don't repudiate the message of the original.

Thank god you destroyed that wimpy-ass Jake character that Jezzaz created. Nobody wants a spineless candy-ass for a main character. I love the way he's standing up for himself and living the life he wants for a change. After all, men and women should be able to live however they want, doing what they want. His horrible harpy of a cheating wife deserves all the pain she's feeling.

Thanks for another fantastic story, Q. Lovin' it.