All Comments on 'Mr. & Mrs. America, Aftermath'

I think the Dad and wife were right in trying to protect him. It's called love.

Wife and friend and dad, totally in the wrong. Sure. But SHUT THE FUCK UP. Oh no instead of being a spy or whatever the fuck I actually got into a career that I loved and had a family and comfort and alllll the shit that the vast majority don’t….such a fucking whiny bastard Jesus Christ.

I read this after reading the original, I have a fairly decent vocabulary, but even so, I find it difficult to find the words to describe how much I hated this story. I have always enjoyed your stories until now.

Like the rest, I’m still rolling this story around in my mind. Artfully done between the two. Apparently he started putting the pieces together and went from whimp to ???, a bit less of one? A different writing style. A bit out of the wronged guy comes back big time genre, but…. Have to admit my minds been chewing on this like a cow and cud for two days.

Ok, only a seven out of five because you went all serious and dark moody on me.

What’s in the fridge!? On to the next story….

Love it, fantastic story. 5 stars. No offense to the original author, but this was SO much better. There's no bigger betrayal than what they did to him, and we needed to see more than "pouting" from the MC, which is all the original reflected.

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It's not a matter of whether or not he was living a life he enjoyed, it was how they lied, cheated, and demonstrated nothing but disrespect towards him. If some readers are having trouble understanding what was going on and why he had a problem with their actions, that's on them.

Holy shit, this sequel sucks! The beginning of this trash is a total 180 compared yo tge end of the original. I skipped ahead srveral pages in this nightmare, and i couldn't believe how off the rails the story had gone.

My initial thoughts were the same as the previous commentator, that you had gone in a different direction from the original, and wasn't appreciating it, but as I got deeper into the story, I realised it was a better direction and really did enjoy it! I thought the MC was going to let his wife back into his life at the end, but I should have realised you wouldn't let that happen (I've read enough of your stories to understand that probably would never happen)! Anyway, thanks for your take on the way his life went after the original story! 5* as usual and please keep writing on this site, as you are one of the best authors here!

Dobbin55

I loved this ending for the MC (Jake/Pete?) and I am so glad he did not take Jo back. This story is in a somewhat different style from the original, but all sequels are when one author contines the story created by another. I was surprised that Mike turned out to be as evil as he was, but it makes sense to me. Mike's self image was dependent upon being better than Jake at everything, and he couldn't be that without destroying Jake. I hope he is still in therapy in this fictional world. Excellent! Is there a follow-up to this story?

It may be different direction but absolutely nonsensical & retarded one.

At least read the story & get the feel of “how characters come across to others”.

Instead of being grateful to the people who loved him so much he actually lashes out to them for protecting him.

& that jerk friend should have died before writing that letter.

Wife and friend and dad were right, they were trying to protect this dumbass. It's called love.

His wife sidetracked his dream out of fear for his life. To have someone who can love this much is already a luckiest thing for anyone but this bastard is actually a heartless whinny male child who thinks his spy career is more important & it is ok to subject his family members for constant fear of his life & any surprise news of his death.

If so then this bastard should have never married in 1st place. Really a fucking whiny bastard

MC behavior is outrageously stupid and he actually got nuclear on his own family members and separates from the people who love him.

I stopped reading after page 2, and jumped to page 9 to find that MC and Jo had split.

Jo is really lucky one here for getting rid of this brainless whiny male child.

Sorry but it seems author just wanted to be in different direction whether it made sense or not.

The conclusion this story tells is that

Loved ones are wrong to protect family member from a job which has high probability of death

It’s ok to go nuclear on one’s own family members and separates from the people who love you just because they stopped you from getting deadly job.

It’s ok to leave a loving caring wife, children to fulfill the desire of becoming “Spy”

The MC should have died brutally somewhere in middle east.

This was a travesty of the original. He sees co spiracy and lost opportunity and lies. Not people who loved him. Jo shouldn't have been part of the deceit but was crazy worried he woukd run off and get killed. In the real world if he goes off on these missions, he does. I stead he is a superhero with many amazing feats. Balderdash. That business will not only put you in finger, it will inevitably destroy your soul if you have any decency in you. Going to black sites, interrogating people, renditions, yeah that is the new modus operandi. Don't think it doesn't change. His friend was not a nice guy and knew that it woukd destroy the MC over time. Unfortunately Jo got involved in the deception and suddenly he freaked out. This was a terrible sequel. Total misfire. The way he turned on her and excorcisted her is just repugnant. Even some of the minor aspects of the "betrayal" got blown up to massive proportions. His friend obviously miscalculated with the letter. Feel sad for Jo. She loves him almost obsessively. He was able to set it side because he was deceived and lo he'd for what he thought he lost. Grow up!

Whoa! This story sure has stirred up some feelings. Probably a sign that it's actually pretty good. So a vastly different direction than the original ended on. For me a more realistic version. He was lied to, manipulated, deceived and cheated by the people he loved most and should have supported him. Of course he would be angry and hurt and want to extract some payback for what 3 people did in cold blood. Love him? Hmmm sorry if that's love then I live on a different planet. As a parent you try your best to support and guide and help your children but you have to let them make their own decisions in life (unless it's harmful to themselves of others) all you can do is be there to pick up the pieces if necessary. You do not deceive them and control their career choices. As a wife/husband you support and help your partner 100% and have their back and you do nothing to hurt them. Did Jo do that? She wasn't even close. She was and I think still is a cold manipulating person. She can't be honest with herself, her husband nor her children. Unless she has a total epiphany she will stay a shallow awful excuse for a human being. Mike? A friend? Bollocks he is just a manipulating dick. The MC was right in what he did but his love for his wife and children stopped her being burnt as she should have been by him exposing her and the dad and the friend for what they were. The story did get a bit surreal but this is just a story and remember that Monument Men was based on a true story so it's not implausible how this story went. I enjoyed it. The direction valid as it was written by a different author. The story was well written and the characterisation was good. Worth 5 stars and a good read. Please read the original it's necessary for this story to be understood. Thanks for this BardnotBard

Well, at 300+ comments and counting, at the very least this is a story that has people thinking and tongues wagging. I can't say I fully agree with the direction you decided to take here. But I also wonder if you discussed this with Jezzaz first when you pitched your idea for a sequel or sequels. I understand Mike's character. That I'd probably wouldn't have changed. BUT. I think I would have spun it with Jo in a better light, an unwilling or rather unknowing pawn, who only knew the top layer: 'Old' Mike wanted his friend safe. We didn't need Jo in an infidelity arc. Nor a controlling one. Felt a bit too much of a trope. 'Current' Mike peeling back another layer when facing judgement could have shown that Jo was as bamboozled as Jake was. Keep the dad character as it is. If we put all that to the side for a bit, we're left with a fun Indiana Jones / Jack Ryan / Dirk Pitt style adventure. I'll give it 4/5 stars.

I am overwhelmed at your talent! Don’t stop writing.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Too bad he and No couldn't stay together, she really did love I m. Think he wento er the top in dumping her. Otherwise, good job

Another great read.

To those cry-babies who don't like the direction a yarn goes, write your own bloody story.

Authors should feel free to write how & what they like; damn the torpedoes & the critics!

Thank you qhml1: 5 outta 5

nothing like a woman who has to have everything her way . also,those who think history is dull and dry ,have no idea that some of our ' discoveries ' of history have come from people who probably did just what they did in this story . in the 1800's especially and probably earlier english ' explorers ' traveled the world and brought back in some cases almost priceless relics to put in museums . some very famous museum displays were nothing more than either stolen directly or bought from thieves in the countries of origin . a little unbelievable is the amputation in the field and the not so likely outcome of him surviving it in those conditions . still ... good read, thanks .

What a precious little princess. Really thought he was Jason Bourne. Deluded fool in far too many ways to mention.

He would never been chosen, at best he would have been made a desk bound analyst. The very idea that his birth and specifically his dad's position wouldn't have played the major role in him even being considered is hilarious. Prick thought he had autonomy, typical arrogant knobshite.

The icing on the cake though was his inability to objectively assess information. That's why he wouldn't have made the grade as a field operative.

BTW, no sane group of people would use a dead language like Latin to talk about anything important concerning the modern age. Or do you really think that the Roman clowns had mobile phones, inet, cars etc etc. it'd be a total hindrance, and peppered with so many English terms that it'd quickly become redundant, just like the Romans.

I liked the first Mr and Mrs America but in this story I came to have a vitriolic dislike for Jake.

I guess he was happy with who and what he had become rather than who he was before.

If someone like that was in my life, he would have been carved out.

In the end, it seems like he becoming just like Mike.

A very nice well written story. I had a hard time adjusting to the second story (the Aftermath) from the first story but both were very good as written.

"I noticed she used the word regret. "

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Actually, she didn't. He did.

Jo finally figured it out after it was too late. Sad.

@ ncdeepdiver. You are right, Jake had changed from the 'academic' he never really wanted to be to a man prepared to take action in defence of those thigs he held dear. It is perhaps arguable whether any number of scrolls, any 'earth shattering' new interpretation of history is worth the lives of Jakes team members. But many have risked, and lost, their lives for less worthy causes. So had Jake become 'just like Mike'? I think not; ultimately Mike's actions were driven by expediency, not least his own survival. He chose to maintain his cover by raping Fatima even though he could have found another way to retain his credibility. Jake on the other hand, whilst being prepared to do whatever is necessary to achieve S7's purpose, retains his moral compass. He takes care of his people, he plans directs and coordinates their actions to achieve the task. In short, wheres Mike is just a spook, driven more by self preservation, Jake has become acharismatic leader; albeit one with a deeply flawed personality.

This is a well written and absorbing story; well rooted in Jezzaz's Mr. and Mrs. America. I look forward to reading the next part of the saga.

Crater7527

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so angry reading a story. This version took beautifully crafted characters and completely destroyed them. What was the purpose of dismantling the original story? I can’t even begin to understand.

Your little history lesson depicting Jews and Muslims getting along is incorrect. Jews were considered infidels, paying special taxes to the ruling Muslims. Their livelihoods, in fact, their lives were always subject to the whims of the rulers. The simplest proof of this is that a million Jews were kicked penniless out of Muslim countries (where they had lived for thousands of years} in 1948. No one said boo.

So Clark Kent the mild mannered history professor, finally reveals himself as Super Bond! Over the top heroics with take no prisoners revenge mentality.

Ho him.

I liked the story BUT there was too much information NOT given to us Sure i can read between the line BUT why should i have to Tell us the story behind the animosity (jaybee186)

I preferred the original. This was just too over the top. I disliked the way you twisted the characters, especially Jo.

In hindsight I might have enjoyed this better by not reading

the original.

Jake or Peter? Seems like the name changed multiple times per page. Never did get the contents of Jo's letter or his father's letter. Was his father at the wedding? How did Mike escape with his manhood intact? - Would have been appropriate to lose the family jewels after raping Fatima. Should have been more about the value of the scrolls and the enhancement to Jake's academic reputation.

Still, well written as expected by this author.

Better ending than original. The confrontation with parents and his wife were needed. To those commenters lamenting his overreaction to the deliberate planned betrayal of him in the "name of love" you confuse lovingly conducted rationale discussions to convince a loved one a particular course of action is dangerous or inappropriate with this underhanded decision to deceive and manipulate. Sure parents should try to guide but to lie and deceive is almost if not in actuality unforgivable. Faking the death of a child is reprehensible! Jake (MC) response is not unreasonable or over the top. Pain is due those responsible for his pain from betrayal. John.

I'm new to Literotica but have come across your stories and you write incredibly well. Thank you and well done

He went completely off the track! He "emotionally " killed his entire family. Well, he got his adventure and sold his soul to do it.

Uggh. Jack is a reprehensible character. Blew up his family. Came off as a narcissist, despite his protestations of seeking the truth. Didn't care who he hurt. Of course this turns into a long series. The original was much better. One of author's worst stories.

I liked the story, but I can't say that I liked many of the characters in it, especially Pete and Jo. Pete is obviously a bit of an asshole - he says things like he's trying to find a way back to his wife, but really - he's not. He undermines the relationship and cuts her legs off every chance he gets. He's waiting for her to try and do something that will make it all better, but not really giving her even an inch from his side to try to facilitate it. You can't actually reconcile if you do that, you're just dragging the other person through some punishment with the anticipation of dumping them later (which he eventually did). The thing that makes this gross however is that after the initial "miscarriage" he's more or less as responsible for the next 20+ years of his life as Jo was and he never really accepts ANY responsibility for it, instead preferring to play the victim/martyr. He certainly could have gone off to join the CIA or the NSA or whatever he wanted to, at any time in his life but he settled for the life that Jo pushed him into and never acknowledged it. Yeah, like I said, it was gross/repelling.

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Jo is also a strange duck in the story. She seemingly loves Pete like crazy, yet never says "sorry"? Never shows any remorse for what she did? It doesn't make sense at all, it's so illogical that it's like she has brain damage. I mean it, narcissism doesn't even cover this because a narcissist would at least pretend to have those feelings to get what they want (something that LW writers seem to not understand, but I digress...) Also, I think making her an "almost cheater" was just a manipulation of the reader to get them to dislike her more (not needed imho, she was already pretty dislikable). If you were going to run with it anyway, I think it would have been better to make her not cheat on her own violation rather than through a miraculous intervention by Pete's mom. At least then the story would have been more tragic and clear - she truly loved Pete, but couldn't resist manipulating him for "his own good". As it stands, that simple throw away minor plot really ruined a lot of the story because it took something grey and made it more black and white, and it did it with a big "bomb" instead of through a paced reveal.

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Overall this is a great story. I just think some of it could have been better.

Really a different story using the same characters as the original. It twisted the original MC into a different person.

No likeable characters.

I did not rate this one.

Fun, in a twisted way, thank you.

I love this story and reread it every few months. Tragic betrayal, great character development, interesting history backstory, and well wriiten!