Mr Computer Cleaner Ch. 04

"A house deeply in need of expensive restoration and crowded with mostly rather crappy furniture, but I guess if you flick it on quickly and walk away with the fifty grand you will be doing very nicely."

When he left, Carra downed her whisky in a gulp, coughed and said: "What a nasty thing to say."

"In my job I've struggled to work out people," Dio said. "I'm thinking perhaps it's best to take them just as you find them and hope sometimes to be surprised. Tom Taylor is rather a disappointment to us but Alice wasn't, was she?"

"No, indeed, but you're not talking about material things are you?"

"No, you're got that right. I admired her spirit and her courage. I'm hoping that she has bequeathed me something of her spirit and courage. Tom's holding some keys for us. I'll get them and we'll go to the house, get something from the liquor cabinet and toast Alice. Okay?"

"Yes, I'd like to do that."

The day after the funeral Dio and Carra entered the small but rather expensive looking office suite of Battersby & Associates, business consultants – the objective being to allow Carra to benefit from an independent assessment of the franchising proposal. Dio wanted to make sure she was well informed before she committed to it.

Part of Philip's proposal was to form a company, with Dio and Carra being majority shareholders with Ronnie their accountant holding one share.

To Dio's surprise, Philip Battersby was much higher qualified that he expected. He hadn't bothered to read Philip's business card. He heard Philip tell Carra that as well as qualifications in communications and financial management, he'd gone on to complete a MBA. He followed that by spending four years working in international finance in London before returning with his homesick wife to her hometown.

A photograph of Philip and his wife in Regent Street, London, hung behind his desk. It established that Ella Battersby was a pleasant looking woman. She was a school teacher, Phil had said, looking very intently at his departing personal assistant.

That gaze made Dio suspect that she'd been the person that Philip had been weekending with at home and unsuccessfully 'ripping' downloaded adult videos with while his wife had been away at a conference.

Within thirty minutes Philip had Carra's mind at ease and he then went off to get his associate, Felix Van Oosterom, who'd followed Philip from London to join him in partnership.

"My word Philip's a smoothie," Carra said. "And did you notice the way he watched that woman as she was leaving the room? I suspect something's going on there."

"Yes to both questions, dear one. You won't be like that, will you?"

While Carra had her mouth open to retort, Dio said smoothly: "Don't get distracted with the accent and apparent arrogance of Felix. I met him briefly just recently at the bar when drinking with Ronnie. He joined us and we got along well. He's South African, and was a miner and boxer in his younger days before losing his right eye in a car crash. He won compensation and used that money to complete an accountancy degree and then went to the UK looking for work; a company schooled him in new business planning and guess what he specialized in?"

"Sports or medical accident compensation-related businesses; how would I know?"

"No bad, but no. He became hooked on franchising."

"Oh, we shall be in good hands, then?"

"One would think so. I must ask Cal is he knows about these guys."

"If he doesn't, he'll enquire at Rotary or one of his other clubs."

Just as Carra finished saying that she looked with widening eyes at the man following Philip into the room. Philip was similar in statue to Dio, a lean six-footer-plus. In comparison, Felix was enormous, virtually having to duck to pass through the door. He was thick through as well. Carra wondered if his chair would be capable of supporting him – it did, but protested audibly.

During the introductions Carra put out her hand bravely, momentarily closing her eyes but Felix's grip was gentle. She looked surprised, straight into his bemused gaze.

"Nice to meet you, Felix," she said, managing to block a quaver from her voice.

"Likewise, ma'am. Some how I guessed that Dio would not be teaming up with a run-of-the-mill lady."

Good gracious, how posh. Nobody had ever called her ma'am before, thought Carra, but judged his subsequent comment to be a little too familiar at a first meeting.

"I'm sorry, you were saying...?" she asked, realizing Felix had said something and the other two men were looking at her.

"Kindly sit over there with the gentlemen as you shall get a better view of the screen."

"Of course."

She sat close to Dio, who was grinning.

"You look small standing beside him," he whispered. "He's a fuckin' mountain."

"Watch you language," ma'am censured.

Many of the points Philip had outlined were expanded by Felix, who projected on-screen a mix of bullet points and diagrams.

First up came a map of the country titled, Mr Computer Cleaner (MCC) Land. Then subsequent maps showed the country broken down into smaller and smaller units until it came to their hometown region. This slide was titled, Founding Territory of MCC.

The town and hinterland were divided into three zones.

"I calculate on information supplied by Dio that this area with the right promotion will support three viable franchises," Felix said. "Using Government Census data, we know that the population of the city three years ago was 32,788 people and another 29,050 in the hinterland in farms, country towns and villages. So, give or take a thousand people, each of the franchise areas shown here contains a little over 20,500 people plus increases of population of the past three years of up to 4 per cent."

Felix then showed another slide of the same area divided into two.

"Should estimates of calls for service not reach expectation, then we have this Plan B of the area, dropping one of the franchisees through a buy-out. However, if the business promotion person – which I understand will be you, Carra – unleashes and sustains an appropriate marketing campaign, we may be looking at four operators in this area eventually."

"Good thinking," said Carra. "You've got the situation covered both ways."

"Thank you," said Felix. "I wonder if Dio or Philip has briefed you about our latest suggestion for immediate business development?"

"Ah, not yet," said Dio. "Philip and Felix reckon we should leave the operational name of the business as Mr Computer Cleaner but also offer small hardware repairs and upgrades. Philip reckons many people – particularly older people have no desire to lug computers into repair shops – and having house calls saves them the hassle of traipsing off to town with their computer and then trying to find parking outside the repair shop and then repeating that process when collecting their computer."

"Again, good thinking," said Carra. "I like this approach of conceptualizing a business model from the user's point of view rather than conforming to the single-minded vision of the business proprietor, although in this case I must say he's been very consumer-oriented up to this point."

"Saved at the bell," Dio joked. They all laughed.

"We've come up with the slogan, 'It's Cleaner with Mr Computer Cleaner'," smiled Felix. "What do you think, Carra?"

So, it's Carra already? she thought. I would have enjoyed being ma'am just a little longer. "That's brilliant, quite brilliant. I can see great minds have been at work." She noted that both Philip and Felix had looked at her when she said that, and were still looking at her. What were they wanting – more praise?"

Oh goodness, she thought, they're expecting professional input from me as person in charge of business development. "We should incorporate that slogan at the bottom of all business cards, on vehicle signage and letterheads. The meaning of it should be repeatedly promoted to elicit public understanding of what we're about."

The two consultants nodded approvingly, and looked at Dio.

"I agree," Dio said wisely.

"Right," said Philip. "Let's move on."

Just at that instant the PA knocked and brought in coffee and biscuit. As she leaned over the desk her right haunch strained against her short leather skirt.

Carra looked at the three men. Dio and Felix had their eyes on Philip and were obviously amused. Philip had his eyes riveted on the skirt, the tip of his tongue brushing along his top lip. He looked enchanted. Men! she thought.

The partners took them to lunch; the three men stand aside to allow Carra to slip into the semi-round booth first. As soon as she was seated, Carra motioned to one of the men to sit on her left, another on her right, leaving the third to sit where he chose. She immediately opened her compact, checked her face and hair and applied lipstick – a totally queenly performance.

"Dio told me on the phone that you guys have been given the farmhouse property," Philip said to Carra. "What a great gift!"

"Yes, it certainly bowled us over, but it's Dio's property not mine." Carra said.

"Well, I have two recommendations," said Philip. "One, which is a professional recommendation, is that you either buy or build in the central commercial premises that can be expanded to become regional headquarters of the business and perhaps even the national office, though by that time you may have done the intelligent thing and sold out for big money, allowing some other company to take over the massive development work. You could, of course, remain the master franchiser of this whole region.

"The second thought is a part business and part personal recommendation: that you live on-site until the business is large enough to place into the hands of a general manager. That would allow you to sell the farmhouse if you so choose. If you did so that I'd put my hand up as a purchaser of the farmhouse and as much of the quality furniture you wish to leave behind."

"Why would you be interested in the farmhouse?" asked Carra, not bothering to conceal her surprise. Philip's suggestion interested her greatly.

"I visited the home a couple of times. Alice's lawyer and I worked with her on setting up the trust. I liked the feel of the place and I know that my wife Ella would be infatuated with it as it's very much like her parent's farmhouse on the other side of town where she grew up. Unfortunately that homestead, which she loves, will go to her older brother when he takes over the family farm. Our house is quite posh, but only has three bedrooms. It's in Ella's mind to breed a small tribe."

Carra laughed. "Your Ella sounds quite a character."

"Usually she is, but at present her interests are fixed on two things – problem-solving at work and becoming pregnant. She has just achieved the latter."

"Oh, congratulations, Philip," said Carra, squeezing his arm. "How lovely for you,"

"Well done," said Dio, leaning over Carra to shake Philip's hand.

Felix, sitting beside Philip, leaned back to get a better angle and growled "Well done, stickman" and gave him a bone jarring thump on the back that caused Carra to blurt, "Ouch!"

Dio looked at her. So, she was interested in selling.

When sitting in house the previous evening 'with Alice' drinking various liquors, they had talked about what to do with the house. She'd said, "This place isn't what I had in mind for us." He'd had been non-committal, perhaps just in case Alice was listening.

He said, "Well, we can think about it."

Carra had nodded and reaching into the well-stocked cabinet pulled out a bottle of something she triumphantly called Sambuca. She poked around in the cabinet again and found a bottle of Tequila and Coffee Liqueur.

"Loosen your belt," she grinned. "I'm going to make something to rev up your motor. My grandmother in Santa Fe came across this drink when visiting Sweden and ever since drinks nothing else apart from wine."

"What's it called?"

"Be patient. I'll mix a jug of the concoction. You get out two small sherry glasses, she won't have shot glasses."

"Oh, then what are these?" Dio asked, holding up two shot glasses.

"My, our benefactor really was an interesting lady. Incidentally, why did she call for a visit by Mr Computer Cleaner? Is there something I should know?"

"Client confidentially," Dio replied, with Carra gritting her teeth and saying, "Just you wait – you're not going to get away with that. Wait until I fill you with Raging Bull cocktails."

They were sipping their cocktails in silence when they were aware of a change in the room – afterwards when they discussed it Dio likened it to a change in air pressure with a something of a hint that someone was there. At the time, with Carra quite frightened, he described it as 'a presence'.

"I think it is Alice," he'd said quite calmly, and although Carra continued to clutch him she appeared to relax a little.

Dio called out, but there was no response and no change until after about three minutes they realized they could not longer feel 'it'.

Carra wanted to leave immediately but Dio persuaded her to stay, saying it had been Alice's home and she was welcome to visit.

"Yes, yes of course," Carra said weakly.

So, in that reaction to Philip's rather undiplomatic comment about being interest if the house was for sale, obviously it had moved Carra moved a step closer to thinking about a sale if that was what he wanted, Dio thought. She was bound to push and would ask, "What do you think about selling the property?"

So, what did he think about it? Dio was interrupted in these musings by Carra shaking his arm and saying, "The waitress wants your answer – what do you want to drink?"

"A Raging Bull, please."

She smiled at him and also ordered a Raging Bull. Their consultants ordered beers.

"My Janet drinks bitter beer," Felix commented and that produced a conversation about the exploit of beer-guzzling women.

The red Holden left the parking lot and heading to the new mall, where Carra was to meet her mother to look at something called going away clothes. Dio wondered where Carmen was going, but didn't bother to ask.

He was waiting for the question, and didn't have to wait long.

"Selling the farmhouse – what do you think?"

"I've got something ticking over in my mind that involves selling it. Just give me until tonight and I should be ready to give you my thoughts."

"But I'm staying at home tonight, mama made me promised. I could cancel?"

"Nah, just get me an invite to dinner and I'll come early and have a chat with Cal about franchising and our advisers. They will like to know what we plan to do with the farmhouse and I know your mother is just itching to take a gander at it. We could do that after dinner and then I'll go home, leaving you free to listen to your mother plan your wedding for you."

Carra pretended she didn't hear that last comment, choosing instead to check out her eye make-up and to apply fresh lipstick.

Dio loved her playing around like that. He caught a whiff of perfume and wondered if there was time to call at home for something before Carra was due at the mall.

"We're a bit late but fortunately mama is never on time for anything," she sighed, effectively blockading her finance's detour plan. "I'm feeling a little horny – those two dry martinis I had were really quite strong."

Dio threw the Holden into a u-turn and accelerated towards his mother's house.

They arrived late for dinner so the farmhouse inspection that evening did not proceed.

Cal didn't know anything about the credibility of the business consultants but would make some discrete enquiries. Dio left as soon as he heard Carmen mention "morning suits for the men".

"What, only one kiss?" Carra cried in dismay, as Dio bolted.

TO BE CONTINUED