Mr. Mom

It seemed fair and fairly straight forward. I told George, "I don't see any problems, but let me have my attorney take a look at it. I'll have it back to you within a week."

Kate and I were married at the end of her second school year and we took a two week honeymoon vacation to several Caribbean Islands. While on vacation, we made a honeymoon baby and Kileigh was born nine months after our wedding. Our second daughter, Kara arrived sixteen months later, followed by the baby - Karla two and a half years after.

Life was mostly good. In addition to her teaching responsibilities, Kate went back to school for her Master's degree in Education, along with a certification to be a school administrator. It was a rough three years and it always seemed that Kate and I were going in opposite directions.

My business was doing well. With the advancements to the internet, I was able to change the direction of my company and got out of the renovation side of the real estate business.

Instead, using the access to information on the web, I searched for distressed vacation properties along the northeast coastline and ski country in Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont and upstate New York. When I found an appealing property and after the normal due diligence, I'd buy the property and immediately sell it to someone who wanted to renovate it. In real estate terms, this type of transaction is known as a wholesale flip.

I obviously wouldn't make as much money on each flip, but instead of twelve to fifteen regular flips a year, I was completing seventy five to one hundred wholesale flips.

I had continued to invest in residential apartments and currently owned eighteen buildings with a total of one hundred and twenty four units.

Because I had an above average reputation within a slimy industry, I also became a partner in an investment group that loaned money to flippers. It was one of the top companies of its kind in the northeast.

The most interesting part of the change in direction for me and my companies is that the amount of time I worked on a daily basis dropped. Instead of sixty hour work weeks including traveling from renovation project to renovation project and locating new projects, my new responsibilities required between twenty and thirty hours per work week.

I was able to devote more of my precious time to my family. An average work day consisted of getting up at four and exercising for an hour. I'd get my loving wife and kids up to the smell of a formal breakfast every morning and have a healthy homemade lunch prepared for them to take with them. I kissed my wife and kids goodbye and watched the kids catch the school bus each morning. From seven-thirty until one in the afternoon, I attended to work. I touched base with all of my real estate contacts looking for new wholesale flips, read the reports on our loan company and completed a thousand small details that were necessary in my line of work.

Most days, I was able to quit work in the early afternoon and I would get ready for the kids after school activities. I coached their sports teams, took them to dance class, made sure their homework was complete and brought them home to a healthy home cooked dinner.

I was the happiest man in the world. I had a successful career and was also, proudly, Mr. Mom.

During the same time frame, Kate changed careers. She left the classroom and became a school administrator. She started as a middle school vice principal, moved to an elementary school as principal, then a high school vice principal and finally in six short years our school systems assistant superintendent.

The biggest downside was, while my work hours decreased, Kate's increased. She was required to attend many evening sporting events and other school activities. She went to all Town Council and Board or Education meetings. However, Kate loved her work and the positive difference she made in our town, so I refused to complain. Instead, I gladly picked up the slack at home

Even with our complicated lifestyle, Kate and I made time to be together, both in and out of the bedroom. As we passed our twelfth anniversary, Kate and I were having sex three or four times every week.

The only real challenge to our relationship started a number of years earlier, during our third year of marriage. Kate and I were sitting together celebrating Valentine's Day at our favorite local restaurant. We had just started dessert, when Kate said, "I'd like to ask something and I'd like you to keep an open mind."

I'll admit that I was a little annoyed at her words and tone and I responded, "When have I ever been closed minded with you?"

Kate rolled her eyes and said, "I just think there's a chance ... a small chance that you'll get upset."

"So, after making reservations at our favorite restaurant and giving you a diamond pendent, to celebrate Valentine's Day, you decide that it's a good time to talk about something that might upset me. Great! Go ahead!"

"Oh for Christ's sake, Chris. I said there was a small chance you'd get upset."

I waved before Kate could continue her rant. "Just tell me what you want to talk about."

Kate stared at me for close to a minute, before she continued, "Mickie and Jan have been going on a five day cruise every spring. We've picked a cruise during my school's spring break. I'd like to go this year."

I laughed and said, "Why in the world would that upset me. It sounds like a great idea. Where are we going?"

Kate's initial smile turned to concern and she said, "No. You don't understand. We're planning a girl's week away."

My eyes never left Kate's eyes, as I reached for my wine glass and very slowly took two small sips. After placing the glass back on the table, I asked, "What exactly are you asking me?"

Kate looked bewildered and said, "I don't understand your question."

"You started this conversation by asking me if you could ask me a question. What's your question, Kate? What are you asking me?"

Kate took a moment to collect herself and said, "Well ... I guess I'm asking you if you're OK with me going?"

My smile got big and I responded, "That's easy. No. I'm not OK with you going and am amazed that you have to ask."

"What's the matter with me going away with my sisters?" Kate was clearly annoyed.

I was stunned. I shook my head and responded, "As you well know, Mickie and Jan are sluts. They were sluts five years ago when we started dating, as you pointed out. They're sluts today, after each was divorced for cheating. Your sisters are each homing devices for heat seeking cock and you know it. That's what the matter is with you going without me."

"So, you don't trust me?"

"That's not the question we're discussing. You asked if I was OK with you going away, to dance, drink and lay around in bikinis on a weeklong cruise with your slut sisters. I'm not OK with that and never will be."

Kate took a few moments to calm herself before she said, "You can't tell me I can't go!"

"Once again sweetheart, that's not what we're discussing. We are discussing my feelings about you leaving your family to go on a vacation with your two slut sisters."

"I wish you would stop calling them sluts."

I shrugged and said, "I wish they weren't sluts."

Before we could continue, our waiter approached the table and asked if we were enjoying our dessert. When we agreed that it was delicious, she said, "Our last course is a glass of our award winning plum wine. May I bring it to you?"

Before Kate could agree, I said, "No thanks." I fished my credit card out of my wallet, handed it to the waiter and said, "Please run the card, add twenty percent for the tip and bring me the receipt to sign."

Kate was indignant. She raised her voice and said, "We will be staying for the wine" and to the waiter, said, "and we'll take it now. Thank you."

I suspect that the waiter knew that despite giving my wife a beautiful pendent, I wasn't getting laid at the end of our date.

I smiled at the waiter and said, "Bring my wife her wine and bring her my glass too. When you've run my card, give it back to my wife and call her a cab."

The waiter's eyes almost popped out of her head as I tossed my napkin on the table, stood and headed to the coat room for my jacket.

After starting the car, I looked at the clock and gave Kate exactly three minutes to pay the tab and make her way to the parking lot. She made it with seven seconds to spare. She was fuming, as she climbed into the car.

"Don't you ever ... EVER embarrass me like that again! Do you understand me?"

I drove for half a mile, before I calmly responded. "We just finished a discussion where I was informed that I can't tell you not to go away for a week with your slut sisters. If that's the case, you can't tell me not to embarrass you in public and I'll fucking do it any time I want!"

Kate was flabbergasted. I'd never talked to her like that before. She wisely decided to remain quiet for the remainder of our drive.

I parked our car in the barn. While Kate made her way to the door that led outside and to the house, I climbed the stairs to my office.

"Where are you going? We're not finished talking. Come to the house, now!"

I was halfway up the stairs. I turned and yelled, "Who the fuck do you think you're talking too? Don't ever again tell me what to do!" Kate was standing with her jaw unhinged, when I slammed my office door behind me.

The temperature in our home varied over the next few weeks from frosty to artic cold. Depending on the temperature, I slept in my office many nights.

It was four days before Kate was scheduled to leave, when she cornered me in my office. "Can we talk?" she asked.

"Sure." I pointed to a chair and said, "Please. Have a seat."

Kate stared at me for quite a while before she said, "I don't want to leave with you mad at me."

I shrugged and said, "There's an easy way to change my mood."

"Chris! I'm going on the cruise. That's final!"

We sat quietly for a few moments, before I asked, "Can I say a few things?"

After Kate nodded in agreement, I told her, "This is the first time in our entire life together, that I've been concerned about the health of our marriage. It's the first time I've been concerned that your actions could ... could lead to our family splitting up."

"That's not fair Chris. Do you really think I'm going to fuck some guy on the cruise?"

"Sitting here now, I know that you aren't considering cheating on me. But in a few days, you'll be with your sisters and you'll be drinking and partying. Three gorgeous women, in that type of environment will attract men and that could easily lead to unintended consequences, especially when two of the women are sluts. And Kate? You know I'm right!"

I could tell that Kate was formulating a response and was caught off guard when I insisted that she knew I was correct. She had the decency to blush.

I continued, "You need to understand that I am concerned about a lot of things and not just sex. Are you going to kiss any men? Are you going to hold hands? How about slow dancing, with his hands on your ass or allowing a man to spread sunscreen over your body, while you lay by the pool?"

"Chris, you're being ridiculous! I'm not planning on doing any of those things, but even if they happen, those things aren't that bad."

I think my smile unnerved Kate. I asked, "Why aren't you planning on doing any of those things?"

"Why? Because a married woman shouldn't be involved with a man in that way. But if a drunken mistake happens, it doesn't in any way mean that it should lead to divorce."

I shook my head and shared, "We keep going round in the same stupid circle. You have not considered my very strong feelings and concerns about this trip. If I find out that you have acted in an inappropriate manner, I will not consider your feelings. I'll do what's best for me and my daughters, up to and including divorce."

"I can't believe that you're talking about divorce."

"And I can't believe that your decision to go on this vacation has led to us to talking about divorce."

"Listen," I continued. "I've accepted that you'll be taking this trip. I obviously don't like it, but I accept it. I hope you and your sisters have an enjoyable time. But I want you to understand my concerns and know ... without fail ... if you cross the line and do something inappropriate and I find out, I'll throw you to the curb in a second."

I was surprised when tears streamed out of Kate's eyes and rolled over her cheek. She jumped from her seat, walked to my office door and over her shoulder shouted, "I'm not planning on doing anything wrong!"

On the morning of Kate's departure, we were sitting around the kitchen table. The leftover scraps of a waffle breakfast were the only evidence left from our delicious meal. Kate was asking the girls about their plans for the week.

When the kitchen clock hit eight in the morning, Kate looked at me and said, "We need to get going. I told Mickie that we'd pick her up at eight thirty and Jan at nine."

"We"? I asked.

"Of course. You're driving us to the airport."

"Kate. I've got conference calls scheduled for 8:30, 9:00 and 9:45. I'm going to my office."

"What the hells the matter with you? What kind of husband doesn't drive his wife to the airport?"

I was halfway to the kitchen door when I answered, "The kind of husband who won't support this vacation in any way." And then turning to the girls, I told them, "Please clean off the table and counters, before you turn on the TV."

=================

The next nine years flew. Kileigh had just turned thirteen, Kara was eleven and Karla eight. I continued to love the responsibility of being Mr. Mom and being the primary caregiver to the children.

Kate appreciated my efforts, as it allowed her to continue as a top administrator in our town's school system, as well as posts on several State of Connecticut and national education boards. I was incredibly proud of my wife, while at the same time enjoying the close bond I had formed with my three daughters.

It was a Friday afternoon during the last full week in April. Kate had returned two weeks earlier from her ninth spring vacation cruise with her sisters.

My phone was muted and I was listening in on a conference call. I wasn't scheduled to contribute to the call. Only listen. I was standing by the open office window enjoying the warm spring breeze, when Kate's car sped into the driveway. It was closely followed by her sister Jan's car.

Kate jumped out of her car and Jan and Mickie climbed out of the other car. I heard Jan ask, "What's so important?"

Kate shushed her sister and said, "Let's talk in the kitchen. I don't want to take the chance that Chris will hear us."

"This sounds like it's more important than my conference call," I thought as I disconnected my phone. Almost immediately, I punched the home security app on my cell phone and navigated to the camera in our kitchen.

I watched as the women came through the back door. As Mickie and Jan took seats around our table, Kate poured two glasses of wine for her sisters.

"Aren't you having any?" Mickie asked.

After a pause, Kate answered, "I can't. I'm on antibiotics."

"What's wrong with you?" Jan wanted to know.

"I can't believe it, but one of the assholes I slept with gave me gonorrhea," Kate admitted.

"Oh fuck!" Jan said. "You've given it to Chris!"

"No!" Kate yelled. "He's always pissed, when I get back from the cruise. We ease back into sex after a couple of weeks."

"When will your doctor be notifying Chris?" Mickie wanted to know.

"I don't think they will. I went to a walk-in clinic in Albany, NY and paid cash. I told them that I was single and the only sex I'd had in the last six months was on the cruise with strangers. I had to give the clinic our cruise-line information and the first name of the guys I slept with. The medical authorities will try to track down the guy who passed this to me."

I didn't need to hear any more and shut off the app. I went to the bookshelf, opened the bottle of Knob Creek and poured an inch. After sitting behind my desk and taking a healthy sip, I realized that I'd been preparing for this moment for a decade and had already thought through the tasks necessary to end my marriage to Kate. I was sad ... almost dead inside, but I was determined to look out for myself and my children.

I called my personal attorney and told him to start a divorce petition. I wanted the prenuptial agreement enforced; I wanted the house, as I'd inherited from my grandfather. Most importantly, as the primary caregiver, I insisted on full custody of my girls. My attorney agreed that the custody issue shouldn't be a problem.

I instructed my attorney to file the divorce papers using irreconcilable differences, but to have a second divorce petition prepared that listed infidelity.

I wasn't worried about splitting our banking accounts. Early on, my attorney advised Kate and I to keep separate accounts, in case my businesses failed. We each contributed equally to the household budget on a quarterly basis, but kept the remainder of our finances under our own name.

I did cancel two joint credit cards and paid off the balance using our household budget account.

Thirty minutes after hearing the fateful conversation, I grabbed the rest of my drink and headed to the kitchen. The girl's conversation died down, as I came through the door.

Kate looked at me and asked, "Bad day, Honey?"

I sat at my spot, at the far end of the kitchen table, nodded and said. "Yeah. Real bad."

The group looked on with interest, as Kate asked, "Do you want to tell us about it?"

As I was thinking about my response, we heard Kileigh coming through the front door. Her best friends Mom had given her a ride home from middle school. Kileigh skipped into the kitchen, hugged her Mom and Aunts, before circling the table and wrapping her arms around my neck.

Kileigh hadn't seen her aunts since they had left on their most recent cruise. Kileigh filled her Aunts in on her school and sports activities. They teased her about a boy who had a crush on her.

I looked around the table and everyone but Kate was absorbed in the conversation. Kate looked at me with a worried expression.

A few minutes later, we heard the school bus stop in front of the house and soon after, the front door crashed open. Kara followed Karla ran into the kitchen seconds later. After another round of hugs, Mickie and Jan started quizzing their three nieces about their recent lives.

As a group we laughed and talked for well over an hour. When things started to get quiet and I suspected that Jan and Mickie would make an excuse to leave, I said, "I'm calling a family meeting." And then looking at my sisters-in-law, I said, "You'll each be impacted by our discussion. You're welcome to stay."

When they agreed, I got up and refilled their wine glasses and poured another inch of bourbon for myself. After placing the glasses back on the table, I asked Kate, "Would you like some wine?"

Kate smiled, shook her head and said, "No. Thank you."

Kara laughed and said, "Wow! Mom doesn't want a glass of wine on a Friday afternoon. What's the occasion?"

We all laughed and let Kate answer, "I drank a little too much on the cruise. I'm trying to lose a few pounds."

"That's a relief," I said.

"What's a relief?" Kate asked.

Kate's face turned white, when I answered, "I thought you weren't drinking because you've been prescribed antibiotics."

The girls turned to Kate and Karla asked, "Are you sick Mom?"

Kate quickly answered, "No! Of course not!"

Everyone turned to me. I took two breaths to calm myself and turned to my girls. I told them, "Your Mom just lied to you."

"CHRIS!" Came the scream from Kate.

"Your Mom is taking antibiotics for a disease called gonorrhea. It's a sexually transmitted disease ... an STD. Your Mom got the gonorrhea when she cheated on me, while on her cruise with her sisters."