by JoeDreamer
Very well written. What happens if you add more friends? Sounds like she could handle it?
It says "Ch 01"... so I am hoping that means there is more! Much, MUCH more... Great story!
Another great one Joe! I hope there are many more chapters to come! I just hope it doesn't interfere with your other story of Joel and Carrie!
I hope this is chapter 1 of part 1. That was amazing! I can hardly wait to see what happens in chapter 2. Please, keep it going.
Can't wait for the next chapter that is!!!!! Very well told!!!!
That was smokin'. Thanks, Joe. Looking forward to chapter two.
What a great story you have started.
Looking forward to subsequent chapters.
Great story, and pretty well written. I gave you 4 out 5 though, as there is some room for improvement. Don't let that make you think you didn't do a great job though.
The only recommendation I have is to find ways to take things just a little bit slower. As those things go, you did far better than most. However, I think just a little bit more detail, and moving the erotic encounters forward without any hurry at all will improve the story telling aspect. Just my opinion though, take it or leave it as you like. Keep up the good writing.
Your plots are good, your descriptions of people are excellent, the dialog is good. You are an excellent story teller. The only thing that keeps it from being a "5" is the terrible grammar, the misspelling and the poor proofreading. Sorry.
Please use the services of a good proofreader and a grammarian.
de Jay
I read the first line---laying---story cannot be good if this person does not know the difference between --to lie and to lay---
Anonymous person don't judge someone just because they can't differentiate between two different words
they are the best fucks ever - they never run - they never tell - they just come back for me......always preferred older women as they are so much better and know what they want and teach you how to please them....and are ready and willing to fuck....much better than trying to get some young girl to fuck and then it was usually a rushed thing and never satisfying....always go for the older women - they know what they want and what they like.....
Really liked it. My only really qualm was the fact that his mom told him to go over there and check on Mrs Tyler instead of just call back. The fact that a high schooler is the person that a divorcee feels comfortable opening up to would be a red flag for any mother and deemed wildly inappropriate. She wouldn’t be urging him to go over there.
Brings back memories of my youth.
Then, there's some 'anonymous' moron that says "get her pregnant."
Love a mature hairy pussy that is swollen and dripping with juice. Great sex!