All Comments on 'Ms. Laura Ch. 04'

I can't fault your enthusiasm in writing. I've enjoyed the whole idea of what you have written.

But, with examples like these, any enjoyment I might have had reading the story has gone:

"you can't control those organisms"

"a wade of dollar bills in her pocket."

"They had an unusual sent somewhere between flowery detergent and something else I didn't recognize"

"While she talked I felt her play footsy on my leg with she stocking foot."

"My mind race back and forth between this was bad and I'm I dreaming."

"incapable of sleeping out of shear sexual frustration."

"My hands could not go below my waste "

" down my back and to the sizable soar on my butt cheek. "

" I heart sunk what she going to hit me with a chain or something."

I'm embarrassed for you. Did you not read through this before you submitted it?

It seems to me that you didn't. I hope that you try to improve, because you've made what might be enjoyable into something else.

It's simple: it needs you to review it and edit out the mistakes.

And why can't you read what you have written before you submit it. And who is you editor?

the words are "Where is youR editor?

Follow your own advise please

Has the makings of something special.....if you got an editor. They make all the difference and provide the polish.

advice!" Advise - Dictionary.com

dictionary.reference.com › Word FAQs

What is the difference between advice and advise? The first is a noun, the second a verb.

Interesting story line but marred by numerous spelling and grammar errors. I suggest running future works thru grammar and spell checks.

I didn't get into the place they're eating before I can't keep count of the mistakes!!!

As much as I appreciate spell-check and editing, I also appreciate good story-telling. This is a lovely story and I'm enjoying the ride.