All Comments on 'Mud and Magic Ch. 11'

Great story.

This is great. You write well. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I have to say that the plot twist of delivering celeste to desire has ruined the story for me. I didn't bother to read any further. After supposedly being tortured and raped repeatedly by faedal and having fought against him and carver her whole life, she suddenly becomes the stupidest person on the world and joins their patron goddess? It isnt a plot twist if its moronic, i dont see how that is a recoverable decision. Without some b.s. like "i had my fingers crossed, so it doesnt count"

Fantastic....the Celeste part both amazing and tragic

Anon "Disappointed": Seriously? "Suddenly"? There was nothing "sudden" about Celeste's breakdown. I've been working toward this since chapter 6, since the first time Celeste and Thurguz clashed. She didn't "fight" her whole life, Thurguz had used her as a glorified observer wasting her potential, which is the core of her frustration. Her ordeal at Faedal's hands obviously has left its mark - which should be obvious if you compate her in chapters two and six onward. She is clearly traumatized and not quite in possession of all her faculties. She THINKS she is, but it should be rather obvious that she is not. Add to that the mounting despair in regards to Rhys' absence and a little bit of prodding on Desire's part - did you think everyone in the tower suddenly fucking like bunnies is a coincidence? I'm sorry you missed the subtle hints I planted freaking everywhere. Next time if you tear someone's work to shreds, be at least gracious enough and offer your version - how would you have staged these events in a less moronic fashion? Go on, humor me.

what a story, what a chapter, I did not want it to end..... cant wait to read the next chapter.

Thank you blind justice and i agree with your comment. I did expect something to happen but not quite like this. Again i am glad to be along for this ride of yours. Looking forward to where you will take us.

Until the next chapter.

Sorry you felt I "tore your work apart" and I didn't miss all the precursors, just hoped that you would have her breakdown and be built back up by her "teammates" (not sure of a better term) or possibly even have her find a new Goddess to follow like the dark elves. I mean there are a myriad of different story arcs that could have her staying loyal to herself. It is your story, I am not writing it you are. Some authors ask for feedback, I mistakenly thought you wanted fans of the story to share their likes/dislikes . I was simply offering some feedback and my perspective of her totally throwing away her "love" for Rhys and her ability to just capitulate because some people are fucking and she's horny and the goddess of her tormentor gets her off. Did not mean to offend, I will just stop reading your work, sorry.

Warmonger

@Warmonger: I can't handcuff you to my stories, so feel free to do what makes you happy. The thing is - you're completely missing the point. Celeste was desperate. Celeste was preyed upon by Desire. The goddess perfectly exploited Celeste's weakness. In my previous chapters I clearly established that particular goddess is rather proactive in trying to secure new believers. FFS, she tried to get Rhys on board as well, remember? When Rhys snubbed her, she turned her attention to someone close to him who she felt was easier to corrupt and found it in Celeste. Celeste the frustrated. Celeste the desperate. And no, Celeste did not throw away her love for Rhys. She believes she is doing all of this FOR him. Since she never was a cleric to begin with, it does not matter to her who grants her the power she craves. No one else bothered to help, so fuck it. And yes, it is a wrong decision and a giant mistake and it bites Celeste in the ass within that same chapter - but my characters are allowed to make wrong decisions. Much more interesting storytelling that way.

What a wonderful story you're writing. I just wanted to say that I'm thoroughly enjoying it and I look forward to reading all the new future chapters to come. I tip my hat to your writing skills and can't wait to read how you spin your tail.

It does suck that she fell, but it felt far more natural than anything happening like that with Rhys. The real tragedy/ hopefully just cliffhanger considering all the magic whirling around, is that finale scene. Dear Mercy...

Never accept a deal for something you wouldn't miss. Their are so many malicious ways to twist that offer, even something as innocuous as some Shrek nonsense ^.^

The most jarring thing about this chapter was just her point of view, which considering her mental state might actually be very much intended and appropriate, for which I applaud you. Its important to consider when reading a story or just absorbing information, from whom is the information coming. When you're reading a top-down X does Y and you're told about Z, you can usually trust that. But when the story is told from more of inside a persons thoughts and perspectives, that can and should alter how you interpret "facts" being presented to you. After all, Carver is in the right, even now, in his own mind.

This story hasn't disappointed. I have no issue with Celeste's story - as you mention in your comment it was a long time coming, and I'm actually glad that storyline wasn't built up only to be meaningless if Celeste had been brought back from the edge before causing any meaningful problems. Whether Celeste can eventually be saved from Desire's influence or not, I appreciate that there were legitimate consequences to her giving in to Desure.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Overall enjoying this tale. But the celeste stuff regardless of how you've built it up still comes across as heavy handed. It's been my least favorite part of the story but I dont have to like everything to still enjoy this tale. If Hilgrun is dying thats lame. Hopefully theres redemption on the way.

I have really enjoyed this story so far. I was hoping to see more chapters. I hope to see some soon.

!

It wasn’t believable at all...

There wasn’t a believable motive that would put her on that path. And if you’re going to portray a character that “snapped”.