All Comments on 'Multiple Units #311'

Jesus, guy, is this all you can do?

Fantastic as always!! I just love your stories and the way you write. Thanks for sharing your stories with us.

The dialect was hard to understand and for college educated teens, they spoke like a bunch of retards.

It seems unlikely that Heather would keep their daughters birth a secret. There was no reason for it and no explanation why she would go with Damien, or fuck his dad.

So for all that, I could only give 4 stars.

Great story... it was like a disturbing snapshot of the grim and seedy underbelly of American society.

I'm glad David and Honey got a happy ending. I hope you write a sequel with Briah, where she gets rescued from that nightmarish life by her real father.

-zzzzz-zzzzzzzz

It was an enjoyable read, buy a little too much graphic sex and random sprinkling of GD words and such. It was a good plot, could have been expanded upon, ntl, it was enjoyable. 4 *

This story got a lot of them chunky women. That ain’t a thing for me. Fat chicks take the starch right out of my cock.

When I read erotic shit I like some hot babes. But hey, some dudes get off on fat chicks. Good for them.

and it wasn't boring at all (to anony). Your stories are well-written, grueling glimpses into the Louisiana white under class whose bad habits and lack of good ones doom most of them never to rise above their origins. Not always a pleasure to read, but I enjoy them whenever you actually include a protagonist who is decent and hardworking, as in this tale.

It read like he had sex with Natalie but then it said he had never gotten past his one girlfriends boobs

when I read commenters complaining about the vernacular JimBob44 uses for his characters. He's consistent. It's a significant part of his stories. I've heard that type of speech all my life. It fits them. The story is simple and straightforward. Heather is a train wreck and will always be a train wreck. Luckily, David found a good woman and is prospering. Sure would have liked to meet his mother though. She could be interesting. Thanks for the story. 5*

I like dem bigger gals! Not heffers but thick and curv, big T&A, like described here.

I guess some guys only date models, cheerleaders, and gymnasts. Good for them.

I felt bad for Heather here. Sounds like she was trapped with ‘Don’ due to lack of options (which she COMPLETELY brought on herself when she chose loser-Damien over goodguy-David). She ended up with another guys daughter and a boyfriend in jail and at the mercy of the boyfriend’s skeevy dad to not end up on the street.

I’m glad David found someone who appreciates him and don’t see any better future for Heather so it’s just sad.

JB, I always enjoy the colorful characters you develop. The Cajun English dialect adds another enjoyable element.

Thanks and keep em coming.

them thar missin prepsotins keepin me in arkinsaw.

Ain' any more to say. People are just people I guess. But not all of them, praises be!

I don't know why you went into such minute detail on the buildings, maybe it will become apparent later, but a couple of things strike me as odd. First, I think it's kind of unusual for a developer to design buildings with different layouts, it's much more economical to have them all the same. Second, unless the NW and SE buildings are smaller than the other two, there should be more than four efficiency apartments in the space occupied by two two-bedroom and three one-bedroom apartments, since efficiency apartments are usually smaller than one-bedroom. Third, each building doesn't have it's own laundry room? That's a nuisance if you have to do laundry on a rainy day!

I know it's needed for the story, and Damien obviously kept the rent money, but when you pay in cash you get a receipt.

Who cares about the damn toilet seat? What do guys do if they need to take a shit and the seats up? They put it down, or if they have to pee and it's down, they put it up, it's not rocket science.

And David dodged a bullet. Heather needs more than her dad to figure out her demons.

>>>**Author's Note: I write these stories for my pleasure; I post them here for your enjoyment.<<<

No! I figure you post them for my enjoyment! I really like your stories....Keep them coming!

The good old boys just flopping around. Not interesting in the least. Fat, dumb women doing really stupid things. What's with your having all the women be short and fat? No good looking women down south? Try something new. This simply wasn't entertaining to read.

i think there was about 100 or more huhs in there huh. lol

The twist with Heather leaving was a huge O Henry twist for me.

Now I am in love with Honey and wish I had met her when I was out of school. :)

sbrooks13x you complain about JimBob44's going into such detail describing the building layout. Then you go into even more detail critiquing the description itself? Now I'm commenting on the comment and none of it is relevant to the story. That's some funny stuff right there. Peace.

JimBob’s stories are an acquired taste. I acquired my taste for them by growing up in the Deep South, on the economy. In other words, not in gated communities. One of our family friends once mentioned eating summer squash they had home-canned (Ball or Mason jars ... or sometimes used jelly jars.) I commented that wasn’t a delectable thing to bother canning. His response was poignant “Come Wintertime, it is better than a snowball.” Shut MY tater-trap!

Folks really live the way JimBob describes in his stories, and speak that way. If you don’t know that, you should! Call it ‘liberal education’ to read on for another coupla pages.

5* for honest (and interesting) reportage.

Anon always being the loudest. Wouldn't surprise me if it's the same anon every time. Every time JB44 has a story on LW it's the same anon first comment or 2 every time.

Excellent story and I hope you write a sequel where he gets to meet his daughter so she has a chance in life.

Writing in dialect is hard, and some readers may struggle a bit, but it flows well. It’s common to assume bad grammar and limited vocabulary mean the person is stupid, but often it’s not the case, just poor education

Thanks for a good story.

Chilleywilley

From the start it was so much effort to decipher the dialogue and try to understand the relevance of the buildings units etc. By the time I'd read most of the first page I was fed up so sadly turned to end to see if it was worth fighting through all the, for me, weird language and ramblings. It wasn't. Sorry not for me.

And a big ass tube o" lube. Love a little trip to Degardand the small town struggles. Disappointed so many people think if one talks differently that makes you stupid. Thanks for the read.

I love the characters and dialog, please don't change your style at all, and post again soon!

Excellent as always.

Nice follow through with the prior appear. Also, a good call putting this in LW rather than anal. As an author you can categorize for the sex, or for the story; the story in general isn’t about anal sex - it’s about how damaged Heather is (and how she is tied to Damien while having lots of sex elsewhere).

A very entertaining story from JB44. I always enjoy your characters very much.

That baby's meeting her father and not having to deal with Donny and Damien or anyone like them is just the beginning of what I'd hope for her. Heather knew where staying in that house would take her and for a while had sense enough to stay away from that situation, so why does she think she deserves, not only Damien's lousy treatment, but his father's abuse as well? Now she is no longer in college (probably), just working (maybe) and getting drunk with Donny and having sex with him while Damien's in prison -- again.

Is she trying to prove something to her father, punish him maybe for not giving her a way out? Would Heather's father step in for his grands? Maybe someone should kick her daddy's behind and get him to get his daughter in counseling (intensive and he needs to go, too), so she can free herself and they all can get a better life.

Sad thing is so many people are attracted or settle for people who treat them bad. Whether bad boys or shrill women it’s just something you see everyday.

It was difficult but i got all way to the 'semen bubbling out of her anus' bit before i quit. I can just imagine you laughing while you wrote that.

Can't judge, been in a toxic relationship for years with someone who was bad for me like I was to them so can't throw shade on Heather. Can say its a very real trap that's not easy to escape from even when ya know full well ur caught. Wish I had the resolve David did to walk away the first time she hurt him badly though. Good story very real.

Your dark stuff is some of your best work.

And you still fill us in on the characters and settings. 5*

Good work, interesting concept.

Heather's toxic relationship with Damien cuts across another story. Don't remember the title but it is the one where Dmaine gets out of jail, and then he and Heather destroy the house that Heather's love interest (the MC of the story) owned, and then Heather just leaves. Remember it being sad because the MC had been great with the kids, especially Farley.