by Sexybeast8899
enjoyed this little tale,,and it was flowing so good and then wham,,,very abrupt ending!!
A hot story, but not well written. I is all short, choppy, repetitive sentences.
Another good story idea with potential. Enjoyed the read.
Sorry note: the guys positions should have changed at least at start as well. With only 5 not too hard to have remembered who was where and then add that 3 of the 5 women's outfits were distinct from each other ...
Russ is a bit of a douche but whatever if they all had fun
This is probably one of my favorites thus far while reading. It’s shorter and I could have used a lot more. Still amazing!
The story was very imaginatively conceived and masterfully crafted.
It was Russ who fucked Paige from behind during musical chairs game.
Paige is not an angel, but she is a keeper nevertheless.
I gave the story a 5.0 = 100%.
Excerpt from the story:
"Something just seemed off. My gut told me Paige was being fucked from behind by someone else. I wasn't sure what to think but I was so turned on. Paige went back to sucking my cock and I couldn't last any longer. I came in her mouth. As I was cumming, I felt Paige also cum."
The music stopped and we all paused.
In my erotic fantasies, my wife:
(a) takes part in musical chairs, and
(b) Russ is fucking her.
She needs to shed her inhibitions.
5.0 = 💯% (💜💙💛🧡❤)
Very very erotic.
The storyline was imaginatively conceived and masterfully crafted. The story was very convincing.
His girlfriend is a keeper. Full stop. End of story.
"We" should head home now?
Yeah, I don't think so. BF got raped - his hands were handcuffed behind his back - leaving him at the mercy of whoever stood in front of him.
But she voluntarily and by her own decision and hands stripped herself naked, and let her boss (who else could have grabbed her? all male players were handcuffed and seated - except the MC/music player - the boss) fuck her.
So no, there's no more "we"; and there's no more "home". There's just my apartment and some skank whore's stuff that needs to be cleared out before morning.
like something my husband and I would do. there should have been a few rounds with each wife sitting on the different laps more then once going farther each time
Spoiler alert!
I am quoting an excerpt from the story:
... I looked at Paige as she took off my blindfold. She was standing in front of me in just her top and her heels. Her jeans were somewhere else and her panties were on the ground behind her. I could see the cum running down her leg...
:-)
Kinda ruined the fantasy that his girlfriend got fucked too and by that scum Russ, he had obviously planned to cuckold someone.
You really need to pay more attention to details, grammar and spelling. I have yet to see the word "grinded" anywhere. I think you meant "ground". Once again your story is way too short. You could have done more with this premise. Great idea though. It just needed more help.
This is why I stopped writing for this site. You take the time to write a story and you get comments from mostly people you are to lazy to write anything of their own but can't wait to put down every story they read. For me I liked the story other then it may've been a little rushed but I do understand cause not all us have nothing but time on our hands. But I guess when your retired or on welfare you have all the time in the world to put other people down. I will get off my soap box now and just say keep writing.
He wore a polo shirt and dress pants. Later one of the women unzipped his shorts and pulled his cock out of his boxers. Then you said his pants were unzipped and his cock poked out. Again you went back to him having shorts on when they were pulled down along with his boxers.
The story is a reasonable story, just pay attention to details, especially if you made a change--make it consistent throughout the story.
I love it when everybody gets fucked, and partners find out by noticing jizz running down legs.
ryeandgingerayle2@yahoo.ca
I enjoyed the story. Gave you 4 stars. Every story doesn't have to be a marathon of character development. Sounds like a fun group of people.
This is a collection of 'sort of' related sentences.
Get an Editor and/or a Proof Reader.