Mutual Benefits Ch. 20

She looked at me with a blank face, asking me wordlessly to continue.

"'Who knows' keeps everything ambiguous. You just talked about how important it was to just end things, some things, and not keep them going forever. The anticipation, the unknowing, the complications, it all leads to drama. If this is the way we're going, I'd rather say 'we're going to stop now' instead of saying 'we're going to stop for now.' The future can still surprise us, but I'd rather go into it at least pretending to know what we want. Let's admit that we enjoyed what happened, and that we want it to stop. No caveats or conditions. Just, 'we're going to stop now.'"

Taylor's smile grew as I talked. "I think I actually like that, Quinn," she murmured. "That's the best thing I've ever heard from you. Give me a hug."

She shot forward from the beanbag chair and gave me a warm, friendly hug. "I, like, totally agree," she admitted. "That sounds like the best way to go forward with us. As, y'know, friends."

"As friends," I agreed.

Her smile got even bigger as she hugged me again.

***

"Okay," I grunted, flexing my arm from lifting up a whole wardrobe. "What's next?"

Morgan looked over all of her furniture tightly packed into the U-Haul. "I think that's everything," she commented, and sat down on the porch. I nearly collapsed alongside her. Physical labor wasn't exactly my strong suit, but I agreed to help her, so I wanted to see the job done.

I panted a few times, looking over our handiwork. "So what's next?"

"Tomorrow, Doug and I drive to my new place, and I leave with my stuff."

"What, you're doing both the packing and unpacking?" I asked. "That's gotta be exhausting."

Morgan chuckled and grabbed one of my hands, starting to play with it. "No, there's some kind of program there. Some of the current student clubs help out with moving furniture in exchange for their time at the school clubs fair or something. It actually seems like a good system. I'll be doing some of the lifting, but not all."

"Oh, okay," I replied with a nod. "Otherwise you'd ask me to come with you and help you there, I assume?"

"Oh come on, I'm not using you that much," Morgan chuckled again, teasingly pushing my chest. Upon seeing her hand approach me, I winced and my hands went up in defense.

She paused, then quietly moved her hands back to her side. "...Can I put my arm on your shoulder?" she asked timidly.

"Yeah, of course," I replied. "I'm sorry, I dunno why I reacted the way I did."

"You're saying sorry because I did something terrible once," she scoffed, putting her arm around me. "Stop that. I should be the one to apologize every time you do that."

"I mean, it wasn't even that hard. It didn't actually hurt... well, I mean, physically." My voice was as small as her.

"Yo, move," the assertive voice of Doug rang from behind us. I turned around to see him holding a box of something, and awkwardly shifted with Morgan's arm around me to the edge of the porch. It didn't give him enough room, so I lifted her arm off of me and walked off the porch to let Doug pass, then walked back, opting to remain standing.

"What's in the box?" Morgan called out.

"Kitchen stuff. Mom and dad are giving it to you. They can tell you what's in it," he called back, finding a place to put it.

Morgan and I looked back at each other, now in front of each other instead of next to each other. "I don't blame you," I continued. "For anything. People get mad in certain ways."

"I've never hit anyone before," she replied.

"Maybe you never got that mad at someone before," I replied. "I was being a little... confrontational."

"You're seriously going to blame yourself for me hitting you? And for getting scared if I ever playfully, like, push you?" She rolled her eyes, even if sorrowfully. "C'mon. It's okay. I just hope it'll go away. I don't want it to ever happen again."

"I think I'd rather be okay with it being a part of you at your worst if it ever does happen again," I replied thoughtfully. "If I truly believe it'll never happen again, and it happens, then what?"

"Then I never deserved you," Morgan scoffed, looking away.

"You deserve a lot, Morgan."

"You're more than a lot." She said it effortlessly, as if it were obvious. "Want to scan over my room one last time? In case we forgot anything."

"Sure," I said with a shrug, offering my hand to help her stand up. The two of us left Doug outside and went inside, kicking off our shoes.

"Hey, Morgan!" Mr. Jones' voice rang from the kitchen. "Did you get the box?"

"Doug brought it out to the truck, yeah," Morgan replied swiftly.

"Do you think it's enough?" Mrs. Jones added. "We know the cooking area will likely be small, but..."

"I don't know, I never got to see what was inside. Doug told me to ask you."

"We told Doug to show you what was inside," Mr. Jones said back annoyedly.

"Well, he didn't do that," Morgan replied.

"Can you go outside and ask him to-"

"Can it wait a bit?" Morgan asked impatiently. "I, uh, have one more thing I need to do."

Mr. Jones snorted. "Sure," he said with a clearly frustrated voice.

The two of us went upstairs, with Morgan taking the lead, me in tow. "Why couldn't you just ask Doug?" I asked.

"I didn't really want to talk to him right now," she answered. "It's going to turn into some kind of 'I'm better than you and know more' speech from him somehow, or something is going to be my fault when it isn't, and I'm under a lot of pressure as it is, and I just wanted to come here where it's either going to be silent or your voice." She flopped down on the bed (which she was allowed to keep in this room since her new dorm came with a bed), and Cheesecake started noisily bouncing around in his cage. "Or Cheesecake."

Morgan was clearly under a lot of stress. I wasn't sure if she really stopped drinking, but whether she had or hadn't, she never mentioned it and never was even tipsy around me anymore, so clearly she was putting in the effort. It was clear that a lot was going on in her life right now, and, dumbly, only at that moment was when something clicked.

It was easy to see me and her friend group as the only things in her life, but Morgan had a whole life she was dealing with, and clearly, a lot of pressure. Maybe just from her family, maybe more. Sure, there was cheating and insults and hitting and breakups, but I couldn't look at it as only that one night. Maybe things at home had been difficult for a while. I never asked. Maybe she was feeling inadequate, and was too shy to outright say that, even with her blunt nature. I never asked. Maybe her being single was hitting her doubly hard because not only was she losing me, she was losing her biggest supporter unabashedly being there for her, even if I was hesitantly there for her in other ways.

I never asked.

"Why are you still around, anyway?" Morgan asked. "You can move in any time now, right? MIT is farther away. Why'd you stay?"

I shrugged. "To be honest, a lot of it is probably just Mother," I answered. "You know her -- she both wants me out of the house making something of myself as soon as possible, and wants me under her roof for as long as she can make me until I have to go."

Morgan nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like her," she admitted. "How is she lately? I haven't seen her in a while."

"Oh, she's like she always is," I admitted. "Probably stressed with the whole empty nest thing. Father is too, but he's, uh... emotionally stunted, I think, if I'm being honest."

Morgan sat up and nodded, listening intently.

"I mean, I had to get it from someone," I laughed nervously.

"I don't think you're emotionally stunted at all," she replied. "I think you're actually more like your mom than your dad. In a good way."

"My mom's a tradition-or-nothing fascist," I joked.

"What's your dad?" she asked with a smirk.

"A crash test dummy in a suit that learned about emotions by reading a book once," I laughed. "I guess, yeah. I certainly stir the pot like she does."

"You have your moments," Morgan agreed. "How did she react to learning that we broke up?"

My mouth opened immediately, then slowly closed.

It didn't take long for Morgan to catch on. "You never told her," she murmured.

I scratched the back of my head. "Just because of the nature of how we broke up, it seemed... unwise. Everything is so volatile right now, and it feels like how we're adopting changes every week, if not every day, and..." I hung my head. "Yeah. I should have told her. I will soon, I promise."

I lifted my head and, to my surprise, saw Morgan smiling sweetly. "No, it's okay," she nearly whispered. "This is actually... I dunno, it's kind of sweet. It's like the one still living memory of it we have."

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy playing along every so often," I admitted, sitting down next to her. "God, we're weird."

"We're not weird, our friendship is," Morgan replied, playing with my hand again. "And, y'know, I could deal with us never being boyfriend and girlfriend again if we can just have what we have now. I'd, like, miss it, obviously, but... I'm still really lucky."

"We're still really lucky," I corrected her.

She nodded. "Boyfriend and girlfriend are just labels anyway. There are boyfriends and girlfriends that hate each other. There are friends that love each other more than most couples will ever love. Like, even romantically, not just... emotional love or whatever." She turned my hand over and started tracing lines on my palm.

"And then there's whatever we are," I said jokingly. I didn't know why, but towards the end of that sentence, it felt like my heart caught up into my throat. I looked at Morgan, and she looked up from my hand at me, and at once, we were kissing again.

We still kissed occasionally since the breakup, but it was getting rarer and rarer; it was like the reality of our breakup was only slowly settling in. Plus, our more recent kisses were getting more and more tame and polite, as opposed to passionate. Not like this. This was like... two teens that recently broke up, kissing in the girl's room with both teens knowing it was going to be the last time they lived in the same city for a very long time.

Our kisses weren't tame, nor polite. They were invasive, and hungry, and knowing. We knew our situation, and we knew what came next. We knew this would be the last time, and above all, we knew what we wanted. We had gone from embracing each other in our arms to me being on top of her, our lips locked, our tongues fighting, my pelvis grinding against hers. Our lips practically never left each other's in that time.

As our lips departed, our eyes opened at the same time. Her beautiful green eyes carried a want -- no, a need that needed to be fulfilled. Couple or not, and at this point, who the hell knew, it was clear that this felt right, and okay. This is what we both wanted.

"Do you feel it too?" I practically whispered.

"I want to have sex with you," she agreed. "If you want it with me. If that's too much, I understand."

"No, it's okay," I reassured her. "Just as long as you know that it doesn't mean-"

"It means us sharing this moment together, and that's all I care about," she breathed.

We kissed again, briefly, and broke away. Instead of changing at the same time, she just smiled as I took off my shirt.

"You look good," she remarked.

I chuckled. It felt like our 'breakup' happened just recently, but a fair bit of time had actually elapsed. Long enough to make the break between meaningful, anyway. As silly as it seemed, us seeing each other naked again was a big thing for us. I jokingly flexed with my shirt off, knowing I didn't really have any noticeable muscles or anything, but Morgan just chuckled and bit her lip.

"Oh come on," I laughed. "There's nothing here."

"You're you," she said sweetly. "I've learned to see that as the most attractive thing ever."

I smiled and shook her head. If we didn't get back together, God help her next boyfriend. I took my pants and socks off, then stopped, motioning to her, smiling.

She gave a nervous smile and got up off the bed, fiddling with her blouse. I was glad to see her wearing something other than old hoodies again. She was even wearing makeup again, even if it was seemingly just for me today. When the blouse was off, she modeled herself in her bra and jeans, grabbing her hefty boobs and squeezing them a little, winking at me.

I shook my head, smiling. "They're easier to work with without the bra in the way, you know."

"Wow, good suggestion," she sarcastically quipped, reaching behind her and undoing the bra. I could see her holding her breath and the bra fell off her chest, revealing her breasts in all their glory to me. Her nipples were clearly already hard, something that happened frequently after our kissing sessions. She resumed playing with her breasts for me, this time rolling her nipples between her fingers and closing her eyes sensually.

"It's better when you play with them," she breathed.

"Want to leave the pants on or off?" I asked.

"Get over here."

Moments later, Morgan was up against the wall, moaning and cooing lightly as I kissed and licked her left nipple whilst playing with the right with my free hand. Morgan's left hand was busy against the wall keeping her steady while her right was sliding up and down the crotch of my pants, tracing and rubbing over my dick print. She could definitely feel it moving and jumping in my pants, though to be fair, I could hear her heartbeat through her chest, and knew her pussy was throbbing too.

My tongue, lips, and teeth all worked tirelessly to make her moan, and soon she was, as loudly as she thought she could get away with given her parents were downstairs. We were used to being quieter when they were home, but given they knew we had broken up, today of all days wouldn't have been a great day to get caught.

After a few minutes, Morgan gently brought my head up and then, suddenly, forced me against the wall, where she feverishly ground up against me and made out for a few more seconds. It was clear what was coming next.

"D-do you have..." I breathed once the kiss ended.

"Shit. Fuck," Morgan cursed, then thought to herself.

"It's okay, we can j-"

"No. Either you're telling me to stop or this is happening," Morgan insisted. "I don't fucking care. Do you care?"

Morgan's chest rose and fell with her breathing, and eventually her eyes got misty. I looked at her intently, probably mirroring her look. We both could see the look in each others' eyes.

"We're supposed to be safe," I said weakly. "You could get pregnant. We're going to different cities."

"It's a safe time in my cycle," she replied quickly. "I can get a morning-after pill. I'll handle it. We'll be safe."

A silence tore between us. "It's either that or we stop," she added.

"We're really going to do this? As a choice?" I asked her.

"I think you already know the answer," she replied. "Do you want me to convince you either way?"

I shook my head. "You're taking care of everything, right? We're being safe?" Morgan eagerly nodded and got onto the bed, laying down.

"Okay," I cautiously replied, feeling giddy. We were going to have unprotected sex. I was going to be completely inside Morgan, on purpose. "From the front or from behind?" I asked.

"I want to look you in the eyes," she requested. "If this is our last time..."

I was tempted to add, "And who knows if it is?" But that was a Who Knows. I needed to be a man of my word. The future will speak for itself, and our bodies will tell us when they've decided. In the here and now, we just knew that, whatever we were, we wanted this. Once we were in position we locked eyes, and smiled.

There was a nervousness I felt while lining myself up with her. It was similar to my first time. Our first time together. This heady giddy nervousness that made us smile as we locked eyes and I slid inside. I think Morgan felt it too, because I could see the giddiness in her face, and I could feel the eagerness throughout her whole body.

She shuddered, feeling me sink inside her. Her hand went down to her clit, instantly starting to play with it, her eyes going back. "Fuck," she moaned.

I allowed her some time to get used to the intrusion then slowly began to move my hips back and forth, her little moans getting me into a good rhythm. I felt the joy of our entire relationship and beyond flood me as I'm sure Morgan felt the same feelings flooding her.

I gripped the bedsheets, working my hips for all they were worth to ram her. I knew how she liked it. This was Morgan's favorite. I was Morgan's favorite, and I was going to give her exactly what she wanted. Reaching forward, I gripped her neck, making sure to put pressure at the sides of her neck. Morgan adopted this cute longing look as she realized what I was doing.

"Look at you, being confident..." she moaned.

"You want it," I growled back.

Her hands went up to stroke my arms, feel my chest, anything she could do to feel close to me. She started audibly moaning, her body shaking. Her eyes refocused on mine, and her face transformed into a squinty smile, even with my hand on her neck.

"That all you got?" she purred. Her pelvis started going up to meet mine, challenging me. Both her words and her body were asking me who was in charge, and I was determined to win this battle.

I moved my hips back more, slamming into her, making the bed itself start to move. I took my hand off of her throat, looked at her cocky smile, and playfully yet with just enough force, slapped her across the face. She instantly moaned and arched her back, enjoying herself thoroughly.

"Who owns you?" I demanded.

Her eyes refocused. "Who? Nobody. We broke up, remember?"

"Don't play games," I told her, slamming into her particularly hard for full effect. "You already know in your heart. Use your words, Morgan. Who has full access to your body?"

"Ungghhh..." she moaned, feeling a wave of pleasure take up her body. "You do, Quinnnn..."

I moved my hips around while inside her, stopping my thrusting for just a moment, letting her feel me fully in her for a few seconds more. "And why do I have full access?"

"Because I'm yoursss..." she moaned. "I'm your slut, Quinn. I'm your anything. Your friend, your fuckbuddy, your soulmate. Fucking name it, I'm yours."

I smiled, and kissed her deeply. "Good girl," I growled before resuming my act. With every thrust, Morgan was beginning to grip me more and more tightly. Every slam of my dick inside of her tight, eager, beautiful pussy made it more and more clear that Morgan was about to climax.

Morgan made a new sound I'd never heard from her before as she came. It was indescribable. It was like a mix of rapture and pure fulfillment. I felt her body practically vibrating on the bed, feeling her inner walls ripple, and knew that if I didn't get off too, she'd always remember that about this last hoorah of ours. So I kept going, lowering my head, knowing her climax was still surging through her but hoping she'd still enjoy my continued efforts as I now focused just a little more on myself.

I felt her hot breath on my ear as I kept going. "Do it, Quinn," she whispered. "Fuck me. I want you to cum for me. Please. I want to remember this moment forever. This is so special to me. You're so special to me."

Her words kept me going, and right when I was getting close, I felt a surge of realization hit me. I knew in my head that this was going to be our last time for a while, even if we got back together later on, but only now did my heart know. This was us saying goodbye to each other, or at least, promising to see each other later.

"I... I love you, Morgan..." I managed.

"I love you too," she moaned with no hesitation. "I always will. I'm so happy we're here, like this. Please... please do it."