by Mysweetlover889
I have nothing to add to trigudis' comments. I would like to see you continue to write and hopefully improve. I was curious about the choice of names, remembering Raksha from the Jungle Book, and Matthew being staunchly Anglo-Saxon. Is it possible that you are from India originally? Not that it would make any difference. Anyway I look forward to your next chapter.
Run-on sentences, syntax and tense issues (going from past to present and back again) show your inexperience, though I like your concept.
The subtitle says, "Raksha's older brother comes home. What is a girl to do?" I'll tell you what. Spread her slender legs, offer him her cute little coochie, and have him blow his brotherly balls up her tight little twat. That's what.
Though you write it's your first erotic story, your easy style suggest you've written before. Eager for the next part.
You have a wonderful start to a nice story. A brother who loves his sister and she who dreams of him as her lover.. What a wonderful start.. Keep the story going....
I and other readers are looking for more... You have a gift....
Very sweet and honest story... please write further! Can't wait for it!!!!
Matt sounds like a very sexy young man of 24. I hope Rocky can undress him slowly, and marvel at the dark hair on his muscular chest, his treasure trail, thick pubes, and great cock all for her!
I liked it. Good job for your first story. Looking forward to reading what happens next