All Comments on 'My Damsel, My Rescuer'

From first word to last word in 24hrs or under this is a good story, I’m not sure if you had the thread of the story either jotted down or just in your head, or even let it flow as you were writing, but even assuming a little prep work it’s still pretty good. Yes, as you pointed out it lacks polish, I came across a number of minor errors, but tbh they’re nothing that wouldn’t be caught by a good beta reader.

The time limitation you imposed on yourself really shows with the easy sequential downfall of the Ugly Sisters, life is never that easy and I have no doubt they’d have thrown their ex-toy under the bus in some way, shape or form, either as one half of the college cheating or at the very least accusing him of being the father and forcing DNA tests, throw enough mud etc. the real question is, could I have done it better? No, is the answer, you’ve let the story flow, plus it’s finished and posted. I’m not really sure how to mark it though, so I’m using my 750 word story rule, that is to say, mark it according to the rules imposed, on that basis it’s a 5⭐️ simply because I enjoyed reading it and you didn’t have time to either fix the errata or the aforementioned plot issue.

Many thanks for writing something different, the limited timescale piece is a good idea for a future competition I think, plus my thanks for posting it up on here, flaws and all, best wishes, Ppfzz.

I second the comments of Purplefizz - an enjoyable story, with very good narrative, and well written. Thank you for sharing.

BTW, 24 hours to write this is pretty amazing IMHO.

You warned us, so point taken. Solid narrative and storyline. While I admire the 24-hour restriction, it forced some of the plot point to seem checked off as you screamed to your conclusion. As a result, about a third of the way through you lost my buy-in and it became a casual read rather than being engrossed in your universe. If you need an editor, reach out to me as I do edit for a few authors on the site. My strengths are identifying plot gaps, obvious spelling/grammar errors. 4.5*

Standard cliché story. Deserving people get rewarded and the baddies get punished...and hit hard. Did like the MCs, but as advertised, this story didn't have the attention to make it worth reading. 3*

For a quick story it was great

Maybe a sequel could help the nay sayers

Lovely story.

BUT...

terrible writing. Seriously. You can't have main characters that all the time describe (correctly) what is happening, what will happen, and other people's personality. A good writer will hint at their thoughts and feelings by describing the details of their actions. A good writer will avoid putting everybody into one of two categories: all good or all bad.

A really nice story. The cliche of good and evil worked for me. Thanks for sharing

Fun, sexy, great read - thank you.