My Ex's Ex

Yes, I am jealous. "Get off of him you skank!" dream me shouts.

Yes, I am jealous, but not in the way I expected. "He's not yours," I try to say, but words get stuck. He's too pure, too kind. You are cruel and wasteful. Nica seems to know what I want to say. Grinding her hips on Micah's lap, she fake pouts at me and then says, "Aww, sweetie. You could never. Not you."

*******

I was gloomy at breakfast. Micah sensed it (really, it was obvious), and tried to be upbeat about our chances of retrieving my car. I responded politely but without feeling. It wasn't my car that was bugging me. It was my stupid dream. My stupid insecurity. My stupid inferiority complex. Nica was everything I could never be, and Nica could have everything I couldn't get. And she squandered it. I knew it wasn't true, but feelings don't just change because you know they're based on lies. It takes a lot to reprogram your default settings. I pictured us finding Nica and me driving away in my car as she and Micah rekindle their "romance." It was stupid and foolish, I knew, but it was there and I couldn't make it stop.

After my dream, I found myself lusting after Micah, if only to prove to myself and dream-Nica that I can attract people. I'm alluring in my own way, to certain guys and girls. I think. I hope.

Micah was cleaning up breakfast and tactfully giving me space. Until a knock on the front door.

It wasn't Nica, but it was someone like her - I could see her through a side window. She seemed like this town's version of Nica. Blonde, chesty, smiley, confident. I overheard Micah's soft voice and her abrasive (to me) seductive tones going back and forth. I forced myself out of my gloomhole and tuned in to the conversation that was none of my business.

"...told me you were in town last night and I said there's no way you would be back here without calling me. And now I see what a fool you made me out to be." It was accusative and flirty at the same time.

"You know better than that, Aria. You and-"

"But we're still friends, right?" I could picture her putting her chest out a little and pouting glossy lips as she either flipped or twirled a lock of hair. "We didn't stop being friends just because-"

"I'm only here to get something that someone took from me, and then I'm leaving."

"Micaaah," she whined, "you took something from me, remember? But I guess you didn't really, because I was happy to give-"

"Aria, stop. Please. I'm not playing games. I'm trying to track down a thief and nothing else."

"And then you're going back to... wherever?" She was sounding serious now. And sad. Hurt.

"As soon as I can."

"You're really not coming back here to stay?"

"No, Aria. I'm not."

"I miss you."

"I know." He wasn't snarky when he said it. There was a sad compassion in his voice.

"Maybe I could go there with you this time," she said softly.

"That's not... that's never going to work Aria, and you know it just as well as I do." I felt a little guilty listening in on what was becoming a very personal moment between them. But not guilty enough to stop listening.

"I don't have friends here, not like you," she lamented softly. "Everyone wants to just... you know."

"Yeah," Micah answered, "and after a while that just feels..."

"Empty."

Micah's silence seemed to agree.

"If I did follow you out there, would you still be my friend? Like... a real friend?" Dammit. In a matter of minutes I had gone from despising her to feeling sorry for her. She was Nica before Nica had been so deeply hurt that she couldn't really care about someone anymore.

"I... I don't know. I mean... I would help you find some good people. I know some good people and you could be yourself."

They were silent for almost a full minute. I wondered if they were hugging. Staring into eyes. Remembering something between them from days past.

Aria broke the silence. "I heard you brought another girl with you. Is she pretty?"

"It's not... I just met her. She's trying to find the same girl for the same reason."

"You're blushing, Micah."

"You're insufferable, Aria."

"Well, I hope you find what you're looking for," she concluded.

"Oh... yeah, hang on..." Micah fumbled around until he had out his phone. "If you see this girl," I assumed he was showing her a picture, "give me a call, OK? My number hasn't changed."

"This girl? I think I... wait. Is that Granny Gert's ring? You gave her-"

"She stole it. You know I wouldn't just give something like that to someone."

"Yeah... yeah, I know. But I think... no, I know I saw her. She was trying to land every guy at Bullseye's last night until last call. I think she went off with some trucker nobody knew. I only remember because the guy looked like bad news and Dee-dee said she wouldn't be surprised if the girl turned up dead in the morning."

By that point I was done hiding in the hallway. I walked out as confidently as I could and tried to think of something to say that wouldn't make me look rude or foolish. Micah intervened. "Aria, this is Nadia. The same girl that took Granny Gert's ring took Nadia's car."

Aria seemed to be sizing me up and I had to consciously control the urge to slouch. "The green hybrid?" she asked. I straightened up and raised my eyebrows.

"Yes! You've seen it?"

Aria chuckled. "Only hybrid parked outside Bullseye's last night. I think it was towed, though. She left with that trucker guy and had people blocked in. I mean, what kind of-"

"The lying," Micah began,

"stealing," I added,

"deceiving," he prodded,

"narcissistic," I threw in,

"self-obsessed," he hissed,

"inconsiderate kind of bitch," I concluded. Micah nodded in approval. Aria looked back and forth between us and then smiled weakly.

"Anyway, check the tow yards, if you can," she suggested before awkwardly trying to hug Micah. He returned it weakly and Aria left without another word.

We watched her walk to her truck and were silent as she drove off.

I waited as long as I could and then said, "So... the tow yards?"

Micah gave a long sigh and replied, "we can try to look, but I don't think either of them will be open for a few hours."

"I would really like to look and see if we can at least find it," I said, walking down the hall to get dressed.

"Yeah," I heard from the open doorway, where Micah stood, still staring off into the distance.

*******

Late Saturday morning, we confirmed that my car was indeed locked up behind a rusty fence and could be claimed sometime that afternoon.

"Why aren't they open in the morning?" I asked, pacing with impatience.

"Because Alan and his boyfriend go fishing on Saturday mornings," Micah answered distractedly. He was trying to get us back in his car. "No one messes with their fishing time. Should be back after lunch."

"His boyfriend?" I didn't mean it to sound as confused as it came out.

Micah paused with one foot in his car, his elbow resting on the top of the vehicle. "Yeah. Why is that so weird to you of all people?" Not waiting for an answer, he got in the driver's seat and started the engine, compelling me to take my seat.

"I guess... I just didn't expect people here to be... out. And others to be... you know... accepting."

Micah laughed softly and asked, "What gave you that idea?"

I opened my mouth to reply then realized I didn't have an answer. At least not a good one. "Movies," seemed about the only thing I could think of. I must have been quiet longer than I thought, because Micah spoke up again.

"I mean, sure, there are assholes here and ignorance and other shit to deal with. But for the most part, it's just a few loudmouths. Same as just about everywhere. Did you have problems being accepted... when you...? Y'know what, it's rude of me to ask that. I'm sorry."

"No no no no," I hastened to reply. "Not rude at all. It's rude to press it if someone says they don't want to talk about it, but... it's fine. And no, not really. I mean, not really."

After another few minutes of driving in silence, Micah asked, "So I guess you'll want to pack up and be ready to go?"

As eager as I was to leave, it didn't feel right. "Maybe," was all I could say. "We'll see."

*******

We got back to the farm and I slowly put my few things back in my overnight bag. As I picked up my keys, I realized that leaving wasn't an option yet. I heard Micah moving around in the kitchen and went to tell him what was on my mind. His back was to me, cutting vegetables near the sink.

"When did you get fresh veggies?" I asked.

Micah quickly turned to look at me, then looked back at his work. I got close enough to observe him from the side as he carefully sliced up some cucumbers and tomatoes. "Marisol," he answered, as if that was explanation enough. He scraped the diced up veggies into two bowls, then began chopping an onion. "Two properties down the road. Heard I was in town and put a bag of stuff on the porch from her garden. She's always been like a second mom to us. Especially after... Anyway, she still thinks I'm a kid that needs to be fed."

Micah had found some feta cheese in a take home box that Nica had put in the fridge and was putting together a nice little Greek salad. Some olives from a jar in the pantry and a sprinkle of herbs, and...

"Is this OK?" he asked, handing me a bowl.

"My last name is Onasis," I answered with a laugh. "Greek on both sides. Yes, this will be just fine."

"Figures we should eat before we get your car. And this way you might not need to stop until dinner."

"About that," I said, shoving a big bite into my mouth. Micah did the same and waited for me to continue. "I want to get the car, but I don't think I'm ready to leave."

He tilted his head and gave me a confused look.

"At the very least, Nica still has a set of my keys, and that's unsettling. Car keys and apartment keys."

Micah nodded in understanding.

"And also, if I leave this afternoon, I'm going to be driving at night, and I hate that. I'd rather start in the morning."

Micah nodded while shoveling salad into his mouth.

"And besides, I think it's right to try to help you find her. Really get closure for both of us."

"It's totally up to you," he said with a shrug. "I appreciate the help and don't mind the company. But don't feel like you owe me anything, OK? You're free to go when you're ready."

"You don't mind me staying here?" I asked

"Not at all," he smiled.

*******

A little after 12:30 I met Alan, who didn't strike me as gay at all: late forties, a little pudgy, scruffy face, dirty ball cap, jeans and a graphic t-shirt. I was being reminded that I had a whole world of my own prejudices and stereotypes that had never been pointed out before. Micah and Alan chit-chatted about the fish while Alan looked things up in his system, confirming what we already knew. Once I had proved ownership to his satisfaction, he told us the cost of the tow and the cost of the overnight storage. It was in the hundreds of dollars. I broke down in tears.

Micah explained the situation to Alan, who seemed sympathetic. But someone had to pay the bill. A police officer walked out of the back area and seemed to have been listening to our conversation. He leaned closer to Alan and said in a quiet voice, "Maybe let her take the car but leave it in the system until the thief shows up. Let her pay for it."

Alan smiled at the suggestion, as did Micah. Then Alan's expression turned serious. "Supposing she doesn't show up? It's not her car, what if she decides to just abandon it and steal another?"

"I'll put my credit card on file," Micah offered.

"No!" I objected. "I... I can put my card... on file."

Alan looked back and forth at us as we looked at each other. "I don't care who," Alan said. "Just pick one." I acted first and got my credit card out. It would be a lot of money, but with a little luck, I wouldn't need to pay for it.

"And you know what to do if she shows up looking for the car, right?" the police officer asked, putting his hand on Alan's shoulder. Alan rolled his eyes, "I'm no fool," he mumbled. The officer laughed and squeezed Alan's shoulder. Wait, was he...? Micah caught my expression and gave a quick affirming nod. Yes, the police officer was Alan's boyfriend. They were... hilariously mismatched. Roger was clean cut, in good shape, Hispanic, and probably barely 30. Alan was... it made me chuckle. Thankfully no one noticed or asked what was so funny.

As the officer headed towards the door, Micah pulled him aside and explained more of the situation. The officer - Roger - promised to let us know if he heard of anything that might be Nica.

Ten minutes later, I was slowly pulling my car out of the tow lot. I pulled into the parking space next to Micah and got out. We didn't know what to do next. As we discussed options, Alan came out and had one more thing for me to sign. Then he said, "Probably want to check to make sure nothing's missing. Registration, insurance card, anything important you kept in there..." With that he walked inside. Micah was looking at his phone while I did a quick check. Everything seemed to be there, plus a few extra bags of fast food trash and a mustard stain on the center console - yuck. As I was about to close the glove compartment, something sparkled and caught my eye. I reached in to check it out (I only ever kept documents in there) and withdrew a silver chain with a diamond ring on it.

"Micah..."

"Hmm?" he answered, not looking up from his screen.

"Micah!"

"Hang on. Aria talked to someone who may have gotten in an argument with Nica at a restaurant this morning. I'm asking if-"

"Micah, look!" I insisted loudly. He lifted his head, initially with some annoyance until he saw what was hanging from my finger. I extended it to him and his face lit up with excitement.

"Where did...?"

"In the glove compartment!" I shouted with amazement.

He hurried over to me and took the ring from my hands. Both of us were giddy with excitement. I hugged him and squealed with joy, then looked up to say something about Could you imagine if Alan hadn't told me to check there? But as soon as I looked up, Micah was looking down and he leaned forward and planted a kiss on me. It was probably supposed to be on my forehead or cheek, but the timing was perfectly off and our lips met.

We both jumped back and Micah began apologizing. "So inappropriate, I can't believe... I'm just happy... Nadia, I'm really sorry..."

Meanwhile, I was awkwardly trying to assure him it was no problem. Neither of us really listened to the other for a few seconds until Micah stopped and looked closely at the ring. I stepped closer to him again and asked to have a look. It was beautiful. I had seen it many times around Nica's neck, but it was so much better in Micah's hand with the story it carried. He had told me a little of the night before. His great-grandfather had received the diamond as a reward for saving some rich French person's life during World War 2. He had given it to his only child, a son, who saved up for months to pay someone to convert it into a ring that he could give to his bride-to-be. It had been stolen once in the 50's and recovered. It had been lost on vacation in the 70's and miraculously returned through the mail by an honest hotel worker. It had briefly belonged to his aunt until she passed away from cancer two months before her wedding. She left it to Micah on condition it stay in the family forever. It felt disgusting to think of Nica wearing it around as if it belonged to her. I was glad to see it back with Micah, who was actually crying as he looked at it. I put my hand over the ring and held his hand, pulling him closer for a chaste hug.

Once we separated, Micah leaned against his car and said, "Well, mission accomplished? Are we both ready to go?"

"I think so," I answered cautiously. I was uncertain.

"Oh, your keys!"

"Right, she has my keys!" Mentally I was thinking about how it was Saturday, and I wasn't due back at work until Tuesday, but I'd need to drive all day Monday. That didn't leave much time.

"Oh shit, I almost forgot," Micah continued. He pulled out his phone and finished writing a text. "Aria says it was almost definitely Nica this morning at... damn, it was the Waffle House."

"Why is that bad?"

"Because it's an hour away. And it's probably irrelevant. She won't be there anymore, this was 4 hours ago."

I was already pulling up the number for the restaurant on my phone. There was only one Waffle House within a hundred miles. I called it and asked about the incident that morning. My call had fortunately been answered by an eager and chatty employee who told me more than I needed to know. From what he told me, I pieced together that Nica had been stranded out that way and was trying to seduce her way back here. Unfortunately for her, she was trying to seduce a married man in the parking lot whose wife was paying the bill before coming out to the car. They got into a loud but brief argument that involved some shoving and almost came to blows. The Waffle House employee had seen her go to another diner as well as a gas station, trying the same thing. Then she came back to the Waffle House and only 30 minutes or so before I called had found a guy heading this way who was willing to give her a ride.

"I wouldn't have let her in my truck, didn't matter what she was offering," the man on the phone was telling me. "You know what they say. Don't stick your dick in crazy. And that girl is crazy. You a reporter or something? Is she in trouble?"

I ignored his questions, thanked him and quickly hung up. I filled Micah in and we tried to make a plan.

"She'll go to the bar to get your car," he said.

"She'll find out it's towed and then come here," I continued.

"It's a long walk. She might try to persuade someone to drive her."

"Either way, she'll be here mid-afternoon."

Micah added, "I'll warn Alan to have Roger nearby. I don't think there's anything else we can do."

It felt like closure was around the bend.

*******

Just as we had anticipated, Nica went to the bar. She threw a fit when her/my car was missing. She persuaded someone to drive her to the tow lot. She tried to seduce Alan into letting her have the car back for free (that was fun to hear about). She finally paid the bill and then went ballistic when she found out the car was already gone. Thankfully, by that time Roger was on his way in the door.

We visited Nica in the county lock-up. She probably wasn't going to stay very long, since I hadn't actually reported the vehicle as stolen. But they were happy to make her suffer a little until the courts opened on Monday.

The expression on her face was priceless when Micah and I walked in together to visit her. It was like she was trying to decide whether to sweet-talk one or both of us. Then an instant later like she was ready to spit in both our faces. Then she focused her attention on me and tried to sound happy.

"Nadia... What a complete surprise to see the two of you. Together. Here. What... is... happening?" Her smile was forced, her voice strained.

Micah answered, "Oh come on, Dommie, you're not that stupid. You took her car to my house. What did you think was going to happen?"

"I just borrowed your car, Naddie, baby. I needed a little space and then I was going to come back. You know I still love you, right? Let's get me out of here and go find a little place for the two of us to spend the night."

So that was her play. She thought I was pressing charges, so she tried to act like she hadn't told me it was over between us. I think two days earlier I might have fallen for her seduction. I was very much over her now. I had seen through the cracks of her perfect lies.