All Comments on 'My Fae College Roommate Ch. 01'

Like the story , so far. AAAA+++

What an interesting concept! Looking forward to wherever you take this.

Outstanding! You are using this strange situation of our protaganist in a very effective way. Keep it up! Or something like that... Well, you know what I mean.

Keep going please!!!!

Funny and sexy at the same time. Excellent story so far, more please!

What a fun little romp! I'm looking forward to more.

Awkward. Funny. Loving. Gentle. Sexy.

Not prefect. But dang good.

“Nervousity” is not a word. You wanted to say, “Nervousness.”

Cody is a strong character. And you have a good sense of dialog.

Okimo is too much. You get away with this because she is absolutely alien. But she’s too much.

If you revise this for publication (and you should revise, and you SHOULD publish), have Okimo be more dangerous. One way for her to solve the problem of Cosy would be to kill him, and convince the College he didn’t show up at all. Trust me, if she is deadly and a withheld threat, then she is much sexier. Sex is a power exchange. And exercise in trust, dominance and submission. I’m not talking about BDSM. That’s just a parody of the exchange or one facet of it.

You’ve established that Okimo gains energy directly from Cody’s mana. Mana is concentrated in cum. That’s obviously where it’s most delicious. But Okimo would probably enjoy the taste of swear, and she could survive off of drinking blood or even tears. Because those are all expressions of mana (the Life Force). And Okimo is not an Elven Fairy. She is more like a kindly Demon, or absolutely naive Succubus!!

SPOILER ALERT: Finally, the expression of Life Force that Okimo will find most delicious, frightening and dangerously binding is LOVE! At a certain point, Cody will rescue Okimo and save her life by giving her LOVE (his whole Heart and Soul) directly. I do not know what form this will take. But it will be at great personal risk and sacrifice to himself. He will come into this thinking he will die. But he won’t die because Okimo will share the Mana (the Force) back to him. This will bind them and curse Okimo, because she will be one mortal. That’s how this fairy-tale usually rocks.

@Anonymous Thank you, this kind of positive and constructive feedback is always appreciated! While your suggestions are not quite what I have in mind for this series, you do have some interesting ideas that I will definitely consider.