All Comments on 'My First Time...With a Demoness'

I enjoyed this story very much. I hope to see more chapters.

Not a bad start. I would love to see how this story develops and the things John and Mia get up to. One of my favorite fantasy genres here are the relationships between humans and being like aliens, demons, genies, witches, or other magical creatures.

Hey, I recommend doing an editing pass on this. The change in tenses is very distracting. You clearly put some work into it so I'm not going to leave a bad rating, but I'm sure you could fix it up a bit.

The plot is good, but please consider chosing either present or past tense!

Great first start, my only comment is to try working on the flow of your writing. Sometimes, the sentences came off as bullet points, instead of flowing together. But at times it did seem like you were starting to get a flow going. Being a good writer is not easy for most people, but you seem to have the ability as you practice and grow in your writing.

Great start, please keep it going.