My Hermaphrodite Boss Pt. 05a

"It ain't what god meant."

"Please don't insert god into your narrow, homophobic, misogynistic worldview. I'd also appreciate if you keep your opinions to yourself."

"Who the fuck asked your permission, you coffee fag?"

"That's a new one. Can I use that next time I'm getting off with your mom?"

Richard rose, which meant he could look down on me. "I'm gonna wipe the floor with your face."

"Sure you are." I picked up one of the heavy meat knives I bought for Jasmine's kitchen yesterday.

"You're fucking nuts." Richard took a step back.

"No, I'm a Marine, you see, they taught me on Parris Island how to even the odds. How bout that floor wiping then?"

"Ok, that's gone far enough." Ruth stepped between us, which made my opinion of her go skyrocket. "We're adults, lets behave like adults."

"I'm going to the bedroom." Richard shot me a venomous stare. "Your coffee tastes like dog-piss, asshole."

"That's from personal experience?" I shouted at his back.

Ruth placed her palm on my arm and gently pushed me down. I sat down to the new wooden oak table, across from her. I wasn't shaking much and most of it was anger, not fear.

"Don't." Ruth didn't let go of my arm. It stirred a fuzzy warm feeling down in my gut. "Don't mind him, he's really... You know?"

"Actually I don't. What's the connection between you two, anyway?"

"We just work for the same agency."

"You're also an actress?" I said.

"I'm a hooker."

I nearly choked. I tried to hide it but I'm certain my face changed colors. "Oh, that's nice." I said which must have won me a Nobel Prize for the dumbest conversation piece ever.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No, hell no." I stammered. "Actually, I think I'm a hooker too."

"Really?" She laughed. "I thought you were a software engineer."

"I've only just begun and I only have a single client, and she doesn't pay me but I'm certain the things I do for her qualify me as your colleague."

She smiled and I discovered a very cute dimple at the corner of her mouth. "Are you really an ex-marine?"

"No such thing as ex-marine," I gave the automatic response drilled into me. "Once a marine always- Oh, fuck that. I'm an ex-marine."

"Did you really intend sticking him with that knife?"

"I only got as far as intermediate knife technique in MCSlap, and I wasn't any good at it either. I only meant to make the asshole think twice. If push came to shove, I could always scream for Jasmine. The girl can rip his arm off and shove it up his ass using her left, without even spilling the cappuccino in her right."

"You're funny."

"Story of my life."

Ruth reached out and touched my face, almost apologetically.

That moment Jasmine decided to show up again. It took her a second to take in the scene and I recognized, for a millisecond, a snarl forming on her beautiful face before it disappeared. Mr. Robbins is downstairs," she said. "Ian, come with me."

I followed my boss to her huge gym room and she used the remote to open a back door that was always kept locked. I peered curiously inside. The room beyond was tiny. It had a chair, a small table and a camera. One of the room's walls was made almost entirely out of glass.

"We're inside your closet," I said.

The glass wall showed Jasmine's bedroom. Richard was inside it, taking off his clothes. The opposite mirrors, reflecting his pumped body to infinitum, caused the man a hard-on the size of the Empire State Building. Ok, the Empire State Building on top of the Eifel Tower, actually. I really hated that guy and I'm man enough to admit I was a tiny bit jealous.

"It's a one way mirror." Jasmine said. "Wait here. You can watch, though don't make a sound. This may take awhile."

"What will?"

"Ian!"

"Ok, ok. You're trying to get GeoMatrix's CTO, Ethan Robbins, to sign a contract."

"You're quick."

"And you're doing that through your bedroom."

"We're just sealing the deal. I have a certain reputation for arranging some wild private parties and man has a weakness for the sort of show we're staging tonight."

"Very professional of you."

"You got some serious growing up to do. I told you, I'll do what it takes to get what I need. Don't give me that Mother Theresa look. This could save next quarter. It's going to fill our empty coffers. Think of all your clueless colleagues it's going to save."

"I'll be quiet as a fish." I pantomimed a zipper closing over my mouth.

"My adorable geeky lover-boy." Jasmine patted my head. "Try to keep an open mind, I bet you'll even enjoy the show."

"There's no tissue here."

"Save some for me."

"You mean you still have plans for later? I'm shocked." I placed my palm over my mouth.

"I want you to wear your sexy pajamas tonight, the one with the elephants riding the tricycles." Jasmine bit her lower lip.

"Laugh all you want, those pajamas are vintage."

"I'm taking the remote." Jasmine said.

"What if I need to get out?"

"What for? You want to make Ruth another daring killer cappuccino?"

"Jealous?"

"In your dreams, little bunny."

"You are."

Jasmine showed me her middle finger.

"Take your own advice and keep an open mind, sweetie."

"I've created a monster."

@@@@@

Groucho Marx once said, "Now there's a man with an open mind -- you can feel the breeze from here!" Dr. Schidlowsky drilled the inns and outs of software contracts into me. My NYU lecturer for the "Production Quality Software" course has been an academic with an open mind. Yet try as hard as I might, and I was an A student, I couldn't remember anything in his course about a gorgeous hooker and an almost seven foot tall hermaphrodite Amazon. I believe Law student courses suffer from the same problem. Ethan Robbins' lawyer, Mrs. Lopez, looked like she was about to have a stroke.

I was empathetic immediately. Mrs. Lopez was the kind of girl that if a friend would try to set you up with, he would describe as having a fun personality and a curvy kind of figure. He'd be stretching the truth on both accounts as Mrs. Lopez was as much fun as Dick Cheney on a hunting trip and could easily enjoy a balanced seesaw session with Roseanne Barr.

Her eyes, two black frightened mice, darted between my boss and the door. Mrs. Lopez's hands kept smoothing an invisible crease in her uninspiring business suit. Her employer sat himself on the bed as soon as he entered the room. Mrs. Lopez, very slowly, sat herself near him but jumped right back on her feet when she discovered there was a very much naked Richard underneath the covers. Her face went, in a record time, from white to the hood color of that little girl who had a thing for wolves and grandmas.

"It's not too late to change your mind." Jasmine pulled out her top charming smile. "I can still offer you that drink."

"I'm good." Ethan Robbins stretched himself on the satin sheets and motioned Ruth with his finger to approach. "I'm planning on getting much better."

"Mrs. Lopez?" Jasmine scrutinized the woman from head to toe. "Something from the bar? Martini perhaps?"

"Ah, no!" was all the lawyer managed to blurt. She looked hard at Richard. Her tongue darted out of her mouth and licked nervously at her upper lip.

Richard chose that moment to pinch the big woman's bottom. Mrs. Lopez stifled a scream and jumped in the air. Jasmine gave him a nasty look and the self-proclaimed actor shrugged his shoulders. He smiled at the big lawyer and flexed his muscles.

"You can touch." He told her. "Don't be shy. I know you want to."

There was a struggle on the big woman's face. Fear dipped with just a pinch of lust. The crimson areas on her cheeks invaded her neck.

"It's alright." Jasmine smiled like the Barracuda when it got the message that Nemo's Sea Anemone just died. "Richard is a pro. I've especially asked for his services tonight."

"Come on, Sofia." Ethan said. "You said buff and hung. Well..." He raised his palm towards Richard. "The next size they got on the store must be 'horse on steroids'. Don't fold on me now. I would have taken Lina Levin instead, if I knew you'd be like this."

"What happens in this room stays in this room." Jasmine purred. "Your husband will never be wiser."

"I need... Just a second." Mrs. Lopez blurted.

"There're some toys I bought for the occasion." Jasmine pointed at a duffle bag lying on the foot of the bed. "You might wanna start with them if you're too nervous. They're clean, never been used before."

"It's... It's all right. I just need a sec."

"No need for the toys. I'll be gentle." Richard stepped behind the big woman and started massaging her shoulders. Mrs. Lopez tensed but soon enough gave up to the caressing touch.

Ruth sat down on the bed corner, legs crossed. Ethan, imitating Richard's lead, slid forward until his legs encircled the petite blond and touched her lightly on her neck.

"I know you're eager, Ethan, but there is still the matter of the test phase deployment." Jasmine took her laptop from a small shelf near the bed and opened it.

"You're no fun," Ethan said.

"I need the test phase, Ethan."

Ethan ran his fingers through the honey like river that was Ruth's hair. The man was in his mid-forties but looked like sixty. Too little exercise, too much good food and late hour meetings, I guess. "We can start deploying by December, five hundred desktops and five mixers."

"That's way too late and way too little. I need to start deploying next quarter."

Mrs. Lopez moaned and leaned backward against the naked man rubbing her shoulders, she closed her eyes and Richard started rubbing his huge erection on the crevice of her ass that was enshrouded in a tight blue miniskirt.

"I want two thousand desktops and twenty MCU-mixers for the initial test phase. Five hundred deployed by the end of next month," Jasmine said.

"That's a lot."

"I need to show results and fast, I can get flexible with the price."

Ethan put his thumb into his mouth and sucked like a toddler.

"Ethan?"

GeoMatrix's CTO, pulled his thumb out of his mouth, raised with one finger the hem of Ruth's dress and started massaging her buttocks.

Ruth lifted her evening-dress, slowly, above her head.

I held my breath, my eyes glued to the one-way mirror.

She wore nothing underneath.

My heart somersaulted.

Small round tits, winked at me. The kind that fit the palm of your hand so perfectly so you never want to let go. Her golden skin stretched over tight muscles and flat belly you want to kiss till the sun stops rotating around the earth. Pear-shaped and pear-sized buttocks you could sink your teeth in until the Palestinians and the Israelis actually make peace.

Oh god, though art fucking hot.

"Ethan?" Jasmine snapped.

"What? You're asking a lot. I'm not sure I can convince the board."

"Ethan!"

"I want another ninety thousand in stocks."

"What?" Jasmine eyes opened like two huge saucers.

"Take it or leave it."

"You're becoming fucking greedy."

"I'll deploy two hundred and fifty endpoints by the end of next week."

"You can manage that?" Jasmine anger dissipated.

"I'll assign a special task force."

"That's really going to stretch my budget." Jasmine started playing her laptop keyboard. "But if you can make it that quick it's worth it. It means we will save this quarter. Are you sure you can make it this quick?"

"You're questioning me?"

"God forbid. Same as before?"

"Mrs. Lopez will handle the transaction."

GeoMatrix's CTO, a firm with over fifteen thousand employees, licked his thumb, and hammered it inside Ruth's perfect ass.

"Awwww." The girl shouted. It wasn't pain or fear, just surprise.

Ethan started buggering Ruth with his finger. The girl didn't seem to mind. She moaned and kissed the CTO hairy chest.

"I want to see the newly written contract." Jasmine said. "Two hundred fifty endpoints next week. and another two hundred fifty a week later."

"Ok, already. Give me your laptop I'll connect to my VPN through your network." Ethan took his finger out of Ruth's ass. He fiddled on the keyboard and handed the laptop to his lawyer. "Make the necessary adjustments in the contract."

Mrs. Lopez snapped from the bliss she was experiencing and pushed Richard a little backward. "Two hundred fifty endpoints. That's per seat or concurrent users license?" There was no sign of the distress she was in, just a moment ago. Million dollar contracts must be her natural playground, and no seven-foot tall hermaphrodite, naked blond or a Hercules humping her huge bottom could faze her. "Per seat or concurrent users license?"

"It doesn't matter, GeoMatrix only deploys per seat licenses." Jasmine snarled. "That's the first time you're representing them?"

"I know that." Mrs. Lopez wasn't intimidated. "Still everything should be tied up. You don't want GeoMatrix to be able to claim, Non est factum, do you?"

Ethan Robbins winked at my boss. "They don't call Sofia, The Contracts Rottweiler for nothing."

"Ninety thousand fucking shares." Jasmine growled. "I'd like to see GeoMatrix make claims in fucking Latin or in any other language for that matter."

Some sort of silent exchange went between the lawyer and the CTO. She didn't say a word, took the laptop and sat down on the bed corner.

"Now that is out of the way..." Ethan gave a crooked smile.

Ruth jumped out of the bed. For the first time I've noticed she wasn't exactly naked. She wore a string of tiny silver bells that snaked and slithered all around her body, circling her crotch and hugging her small waist. With each movement, the sexy little thing sent a whisper of jingling all around the room. She started swaying her hips, small circles, her eyes closed and a small smile adorning her cherry lips.

Jasmine pressed a sound system remote and the low strings of an oud sang a slow tune from far away land. Ruth's hips and belly painted tiny arcs and her small bottom twitched to the music as if it was not attached to the rest of her body. Like a pendulum on a string, her ass rotated left and right vibrating the air and my penis.

Ruth widened her circles. She stood at the room's edge but she was the center of it. The center of the universe for all I cared. I forced my eyelids to freeze, afraid that I might lose a millisecond of that perfect creature in an eye-blink. Yet despite my inability to take my eyes off her, a tiny feeling at the tip of my fingers, kept nagging me that I was forgetting something important.

Richard reached out to grab Ruth but she just circled around him. She spun herself like a human Merry-Go-Round, slowly with the music. Navigating nimbly around the bed. When she reached Jasmine she stopped, planted a soft kiss on my boss' neck. Her hand caressed the strong shoulders. Butterfly fingers slowly pulled the black silk strap off one shoulder. Jasmine entire attention focused on the laptop in the lawyer's lap and she pulled her hand out of the strap in a sharp movement. Undaunted, the petite blond, caressed the other strap baring my boss' magnificent tits. Jasmine never did learn the advantages inherited in a bra. Ethan Robbins rolled down his pants and touched his semi-hard erection. My own penis was making it uncomfortable to sit, but still that uneasy tingling feeling, prevented me from doing like the CTO.

Ruth started planting soft kisses on my boss' back. She placed long fingers on Jasmine's tits and massaged them slowly.

"Just a second, dear." Jasmine didn't move her eyes from the laptop screen. She pointed at something and then nodded as the lawyer typed furiously on the keyboard.

A shark, she is a splice of great white and a torpedo, always gets what she wants. And that fat lawyer is really a German Rottweiler, ugly, big and her bite probably much worse than her bark. Two dangerous women. I once traveled to Munich for project integration with BMW and my colleague there proudly showed me his private kennel of champions. Three award-winning Shepherds and a Rottweiler. The Rottweiler nearly bit my hand off when I mistook the freaking monster for a pet. I needed seven stitches.

And then it hit me like a bite in the ass from a Rottweiler. "Jasmine." I called. "Come here!"

No one seemed to hear me, the glass must be sound proof. I banged on the glass. Jasmine was the only one who noticed. She raised her head and sent my way a murderous look. I knocked on the glass again.

"Is there someone there?" Ethan pointed at what from his side looked like a harmless mirror.

"Just vibrations from the sound system." Jasmine said and when everyone's head was in my direction she moved her finger across her neck in an unambiguous gesture.

I banged again. Jasmine whispered something in Ruth's ear. The girl left the room and soon enough she opened my door. She touched my shoulder and started laughing.

"Here to issue a life threat?" I was too well aware of the naked perfect body beside me.

"I'm not very good with threats." She giggled. "Especially when I'm butt naked."

"You're the most beautiful woman I ever saw, butt naked or dressed." I blurted and blushed. "There I said it. I'm not sure I should have, but I was going to be sorry for the rest of my life if I didn't. Please call Jasmine, tell her it's urgent."

"That was the nicest thing anyone told me in a long while. Are you sure?"

"Yep, I've made a list and you're on top."

"About Jasmine, not about my looks." She leaned and gave me a light kiss on my cheek. She had the scent of early spring meadows and heart braking promises.

"Dead sure on both accounts."

A minute later Jasmine barged into the room, followed by a worried Ruth. "I just left a four hundred and eighty million contract. There better be a goddamn good reason." My boss stood naked, save her high-heeled shoes, her hands on her hips.

"What's that?" Ruth said.

"What's what, sweetie?" Jasmine looked at the small blond.

"That." Ruth touched Jasmine's cock.

"An erection, you've probably seen a few in your days."

"I know it's an erection and I've been trying to coax it for fifteen minutes now. Apparently all it takes is to make you angry."

"That's not anger, that's Ian." Jasmine tousled my hair. "He's sort of a Viagra pill for me with no side effects."

Being unable to sit for a week is one hell of a side effect.

"Really? That's... wow." Ruth looked impressed.

"Unfortunately he's about to die." Jasmine said.

"Ethan Robbins is trying to fuck you." I said.

"He's not into hermaphrodites."

"Come on Jasmine, the man is bluffing. There is no way he's gonna deploy next week or even six months from now."

"He can't be bluffing." Jasmine said. "I'm about to transfer ninety thousand company stocks to his account, which will add to a total of two hundred thousand with what I've given him so far. If GeoMatrix won't sign the contract, those shares are going to amount to squat. That doesn't make any sense."

"But he's lying."

"How can you tell?"

"Something I read in CTO.COM and one of the Gartner reports. GeoMatrix is one of the firms that are going to adapt the German security model. I've seen it on BMW a couple of years back. It means everyone gets a computer with a seed containing all possible applications. No DVD no USB port, no network installment. You can't install a two-k worth of patch file. Only what's already on the seed and you can run it only if your directory service profile has permission rights."

"Cut to the point." Jasmine stamped her foot. "That's Chinese for all I care."

"We can't deploy without integrating with the seed, we can't deploy without adding the security check module."

"Meaning?"

"Six months development plus two to three months integration before you'll see the first desktop operating, and I'm real generous. There's not a chance in a million years GeoMatrix board is going to sign that contract. It's a bullshit contract."