My Honey's a Vampire

(I was fixing some stools and doing some electrical work at this bar, when a drunken guy at the bar begins chatting away. He tells me some crazy tale about he and his girlfriend not being normal or human, and I think he is just drunk. But he sounds so damn convincing that I have to wonder. Is he for real, or just drunk? Since I can't tell which, I'll let you be the judge. Here's exactly what he said.)

*****

I first met Claudia in her senior year. She had just transferred in from the poorer side of town, and some of the more cruel high school babes were trying to bully her verbally along the halls, making fun of her bland, discount clothing and badly applied makeup. Still, I always felt her gothic, plain Jane, desperado look was more contrived and planned than accidental.

She came across as a geek, but I could tell it was more by design than by actually being clumsy and awkward. It never dawned on me then that she might be a vampire, not until some of her tormentors began disappearing. I don't think anyone else noticed the connection, but I sure did. And it got to the point where each time a new girl would tease her unbearably or get on her case with a cruel practical joke, that I just knew something weird was about to go down. Not that any of us ever saw what was happening. We only knew that sooner or later, anyone fucking with Claudia was bound to go missing from the high school hallways. One day you saw them, and the next day you didn't. Call me stupid, but even though we were kids, I thought for sure the damn bullies would catch on that they were being targeted and taken, but they never did. Not until it was too late that is.

From the beginning, however, I had made myself Claudia's friend. Like me, she had just turned eighteen and it wasn't long before the two of us became inseparable. I had never made love to a woman before, although I had jerked myself silly watching porn on numerous occasions. I wish I could tell you that I used the rest of my time wisely, studying for tests and working on churning out fine essays. But the only thing on my mind were the giant, firm tits that seem to defy gravity standing so straight and tall out of Claudia's heavenly chest. Her face, as I said was plain and unattractive, but she had these great eyes, that would light up and sparkle if ever she took a liking to you. I used to see them sparkle a lot.

"I'm still a virgin," she would sometimes remind me as I put my arm around her and peppered her face with moist, hopeful kisses. Looking back on it now, I can't honestly say if she were mentioning it cause she didn't want my kisses and petting to get too far, or if she was hoping I would deflower us both with one brave unveiling of my horny cock. But I always assumed that if the unveiling did finally come, she would blow me away by becoming the aggressor and my own wildly horny self, a mere spectator of her eventual sexual prowess. I'd think about it sometimes, then merely shrug at the thought, thinking that time would tell. But for now, we would both keep wallowing in the virgin way until she agreed it that it was definitely time. I was keeping my fingers crossed.

Claudia had no family that I or anyone else ever saw. I would sometimes ask her if she lived in a foster home or if she still shacked up with dear old mom and dad. But she was wildly evasive on both counts, preferring instead to merely shrug and say she didn't want to talk about her. Her mom or dad, if she had any, never showed up for any school events, or sporting games, not for plays or poetry readings, or basketball games or football games, and, well, you get the picture. Whenever Claudia did act up in class, the teacher would ask her for her parent's phone number but she would always shrug and say they didn't have a phone to which the teacher would inevitably reply that she didn't believe her, to which Claudia would simply respond that she didn't give a fuck one way or another what she believed. Such an outburst did win you points with some of your classmates, but it also won you a visit to the office of Vice-Principal Brian Dimarcas, a very scary and very burly Greek character whose neck was so damn thick that no shirt ever fit him properly, hence his collar and neck were always exposed. I didn't think much of it until Claudia one day got sent to his office again. I suppose in her mind it was one time too many, cause he was never heard of or seen again after that.

I first began to suspect that my girlfriend Claudia was a vampire when she began showing up with brown splotches on her dark colored t-shirts. It was hard to see the stains against the material's already dark colors, but if you looked hard enough and long enough, they looked like splatter drops of human blood. Not that I was an expert on human blood or anything. It was just that I had been cursed at birth with the dizzy condition of vertigo, and would get nose bleeds sometimes when climbing steps or jumping in gym exercises. So I kinda knew what blood drops looked like. I remember thinking that if she were feeding on some poor helpless sap's neck, then that would be exactly where you would expect the blood drops to fall. Her formidable sexy breasts stuck out so straight and so far that it would be easy for them to intercept a falling drop of blood.

Still, I never mentioned my suspicions verbally to Claudia, just keeping my thoughts bottled up inside. And she never picked up on it either, assuming I was just oogling her fantastic tits like I usually did, and not staring at drops to decipher whether or not they were made of human blood. It wasn't until a mere month left to go in grade twelve that she finally confirmed to me, as true, the things that I had suspected about her all along.

Then one day, while my parents were out, I invited her up into my room, hoping we might finally make love, but I was nervous over her having secret fangs, and she started to pick up on it with her uncanny psychic powers.

"You know, don't you?" she asked. You think I'm the cause of the increased police and security guard presence that had infiltrated the school since the vice principal and so many girls had started disappearing.

"Know about what?" I asked coyly, uncertain of what she would do considering I had uncovered her secret.

"It's okay," she whispered with an arm around my shoulder, her gorgeous green eyes sparkling so hard they took my breath away. "I really like you," she added. "And I would never, ever do anything to hurt you, neither would I ever let something bad happen for you. I would even kill for you," she explained, which is why a light bulb went off inside my head right there and then, because that would explain why my tormentor, Daniel Stevens had so mysteriously disappeared from high school halls in between classes after slapping me around in gym class one day. I had mentioned how I got the black eye to Claudia and my guess was that she and her razor sharp fangs took it from there.

"As much as I like you," I tell her sincerely. "And I do really, really, really like you, I'm kind of terrified by the whole vampire thing. I mean I think it's really cool and all, having a vamp as a girlfriend, only...well...I...how should I put it?"

"You're afraid of becoming one yourself, is that it? You're afraid I might bite you to make you just like me, is that it?"

"Well, I remember seeing a movie once where the female vampire couldn't make love to her boyfriend unless she bit him first. But that was only a movie. But I mean, what do I know about it really."

"Is that why you haven't really pushed us making love, even though we're both virgins and you really want to get it on with me? Cause you're afraid I'll have to bite you first?"

"I guess," I said, shrugging sheepishly.

She suddenly takes of her top and then unzips her pants, pulling them down and kicking them away.

She was wearing no bra and panties, so now all she has on are a pair of socks. Her boobs are absolutely stunning and all I can think about is sucking the shit out of them.

She picks up on my thoughts. "You want me to kneel and stick your cock in between these giant boobies, don't you?" she teased. "Or would you like me to take these plain Jane lips and just suck the shit out of your cock until you come down my throat?" she again teased. "Or perhaps you would like me to bend over so you can stick your iron hard cock deep into my virgin pussy from behind?"

I start to pant. I step towards her until we are toe to toe and mouth to mouth. She waits for me to start something, and I do, sucking hard on her pointy, giant breasts.

"Wait," she says, gently pushing my mouth away. "You know that movie you saw that says a female vampire has to bite a guy she likes before she can make love to him?"

I nod, thinking she's going to tell me that it is all bullshit and that she does not have to bite me first. She tells me no such thing.

"Unfortunately, the movie is correct. Before you and I make love, I would have to bite you. You would have to officially become a vampire first before I let that beautiful, tempting cock anywhere near my pussy. It's obviously not something I could force you into, especially since chosen partners have to remain the property of their spouses forever and ever. I now in the mortal world the vows are until death do us part. But us vampires don't die. I was bitten some fifty years ago, at age eighteen, and have remained with the same eighteen year old looks for that entire fifty years. I will always look this way, and if you let me bite you, than you will always look this way as well, except that you will have super human strength, and be able to fly at night.

"But you go to school during the day? Don't vampires have to stay out of the sunlight?"

She laughs, her dangling, eye popping boobs like irresistible, tempting carrots. "That's just Hollywood getting carried away with rumors. It looks a lot scarier for a vampire to sleep in a coffin than to sleep in a common bed. The truth is, sunlight has never effected vampires and it never will. The only thing that can harm a vampire is if he or she makes love to a partner that has not been bitten yet."

I am stunned and want more information. "You mean they'll get sick if they try?"

"No, they'll die if they try."

I must have looked really stunned because she saw that surprised blank look on my stunned face and continued without me saying anything.

"It's nature's way of preventing an unholy union of sorts. A vampire's body knows if a human is crossing that line that must never be crossed. I would have to kill any man that tried dare make love to me that was human. Kill or be killed, really is what it would boil down to."

"I had no idea," I said, staring feverishly at her magnificent tits, so turned on and so irrevocably horny that I was almost ready to tell her to go ahead and bite my damn neck, just so I could fuck her round, gorgeous ass off.

"You would not believe how very much I've fallen for you," she tells me, seductively pressing her tits up against my sinewy, chest and running her red painted nails down my washboard, six pack abs. "You are just so damn sexy," she adds, "and you can't imagine how sweet it is for two vampires to fuck. I've been told that is so heavenly an orgasm will actually make you almost pass out."

I'm getting hotter but I hold my ground. Do I really want her to bite me? To face eternal damnation? To come over to the demonic side?

She frowns. "I don't even have to read your mind to know that you are hesitating. You are just so damn afraid of becoming a vampire. It terrifies you more than anything, and yet...and yet...and yet I can tell you are more in love with me than life itself."

"I'm on fire for you," I agree. "But making love to you carries too high a price. If I let you bite me so we can make love, I'll become a vampire, but if I don't let you bite me and we make love anyways, you'll die!"

"I guess we're at a crossroads," she whimpers, a fat tear rolling down her cheek at the realization I am actually turning down her super sexy, naked body. She is suddenly humiliated and grabs her clothes, whipping them on quickly. "I never imagined you would turn down the chance to make love to the woman of your dreams. I guess I'm not so special to you after all?"

"Don't say that," I replied, my own heart breaking at the sight of her crying. A solitary tear now suddenly graces my cheek and I fight it, brushing it away. "It breaks my heart to turn down the chance to make sweet passionate love to me."

"In a way this is all my fault," she whines. "I should have told you from the very beginning, long before we fell so deeply in love. The second I saw us becoming infatuated with each other I should have let you know before it could develop into love. Now we're hopelessly hooked on each other with no way out."

"Well, I sigh, perhaps in time we'll just fall out of love the same way we fell into it."

"You can't," she insisted. "That's one of the problems with a vamp loving a human or a human loving a vamp. Once in love, the heart is sealed and the love will continue to grow and flourish whether we keep seeing each other or not."

"You can't be serious," I said, not worried sick.

"Why would I lie about a thing like that? Our love will continue to grow for each other whether we want it to or not. I've...I've got to go. I am so humiliated by your rejection. I mean, I understand it, but it really hurts. I have to get away, cry myself to sleep."

A fog comes out of nowhere and as it thickens I lose sight of her. Suddenly the fog mysteriously dissipates and she is gone.

I shed another tear then toss myself onto my bed, staring to cry inconsolably. I have found the love of my life, and my heart aches uncontrollably for her, and yet, as much as I so desperately want her, I am just unwilling and unable to pay that price.

She doesn't come to school the next day, neither the day after that. I now know she was telling the truth about us growing more in love with each passing day, because my heart aches for her more than burning fire itself. Two weeks pass and she still doesn't show. She has never taken me to where she lives and so don't know where to find her. I email and text her many times daily but she does not respond, and I know what she is waiting for. She is refusing to respond to my calls or texts until I tell her I am ready to let her bite me. But the thought of me growing fangs and then having to bite people's necks to feed off their blood is just too repulsive to me. She doesn't show up for the rest of the school year and I am absolutely devastated.

I find it hard to concentrate on school work, and because of my poor exam showings, my grades slip from straight A's to a C average. My parents freak, saying that my poor showing means my scholarship will be revoked and I won't get to go to college. I tell them I don't care about college and it is then and there that they realize I must be in love, because it is written like some damnable book, all over my love sick face.

I go to bed one night drunk and stoned, my mind is a haze of mental images of my vampi lady's super huge breasts and her sparkling green eyes, radiating such warmth and charm.

My room is thick with pot smoke and I imagine her wide, curvy hips pressing onto my rippling waist muscles as she grips my stiff erection and guides it toward her wet pink tunnel.

I panic because I don't want her to die. I want to tell her that I'll change my mind and let her bite me, only I scream at her that I don't want her to commit suicide by making love to me without that bite!!

Suddenly I wake up, all covered in sweat. I realize that it has merely been a dream. But then I see her, cowering in a corner, watching me with those emerald green eyes, her giant breasts illuminated by the moon through my bedroom window.

I call to her, asking if I am imagining things or if it is really her, come to visit.

She rises and comes over, standing above me. She asks me to stand. I do. Like her, I am naked. She asks me if I have thought about getting that bite. I tell her I have thought about it and that I am now ready to receive her fangs. I ask her if it will hurt, and she says that it will, but not to worry, because the lovemaking will be worth it. Her breasts are just so damn impressive that I never get used to seeing them.

She has an eerie music raging in her head. I too can hear the sounds of it faintly. A violin, a flute, and some strange beating drum with crashing cymbals. She begins to wind her body round and round, grinding those luscious hips and flashing that gorgeous ass at me as she dances to make me hard, panting and covered with sweat.

I want her so bad, so damn fucking bad. And so I'm willing to take that bite. I'm willing to have her razor sharp fangs pierce my juggler vein and siphon off blood. She reads my thoughts and waves no at my neck.

"I'm not going to bite your neck," she says seductively. "Biting necks is for ordinary humans. My chosen lover shall watch me bite on his cock, and the drawing of blood will keep it hard while I suck it for hours. And just remember. I swallow!"

Hearing her say those things excites me. She is going to bite my cock! She is going to make it hard as iron! And she is going to make me spew my cum down her throat.

She begins to kiss my body, starting with my face and neck. Then she pours over my chest and stomach muscles.

She sits me on the bed with my cock standing straight up in the air. Then she grabs a tube of lipstick and gives her lips a fresh, glossy, wet sheen. I am hard as a steel pipe just staring at those fabulous lips. Then she bends over, spreading her legs slightly to give my raised eyes a good view of her pussy. "You can fuck me after I've sucked on your cock for a few hours," she says, driving me out of my mind.

Still standing and bent over, she then lowers her head to my cock, knowing that the sight of her giant dangling breasts will accost my senses. I reach up with my hands and fondle them. She moans at my touch. Her mouth rolls over my shaft, and I feel a slice of heaven waft over my body and mind. She rolls up and down with her glossy lips, paying special attention to my sensitive cock head. Then, she lowers her mouth as far down as it can go, allowing my cock head to tap off the back of her throat. She squeezes into my penis flesh with sharp pincers on her tongue. I can feel the blood being drawn through my thighs and into my cock. From there, the flow keeps my cock supremely hard while at the same time sending droplets of blood onto her attached tongue.

She sucks away for well over an hour. At first, the pincers on her tongue did hurt, as she said they would, but after ten minutes or so, they began to feel heavenly.

She kept reading my thoughts the whole time through, and she had this uncanny knack for being able to sense when I might come to orgasm. And each time I got close, she would back off. I could tell she wanted to make sure I would stay hard so she could feed and my cock could enjoy it, until later I might have one joyous, spectacular climactic explosion once she had finished her feeding.

When that climactic explosion did finally come, I was amazed at just how much sensational pleasure was thundering along my cock as I erupted down her blessed throat. True to her word, she swallowed every drop, and made me feel so damn special, that I knew right there and then that I was king of her world, and she was the queen in mine. Queen of the damned!

I had supposed that my cock would have shrunken after such a heart stopping sweet release, but she explained that the suction of her past sucking would keep drawing blood for about another hour.

I now felt super human strength begin to take hold as her biting along my cock acted just as though she had bitten my neck. I lift her up and slammed her against the wall, feeling my muscles tense and the sweat begin to pour off of me.