My Journey into Spiritual Sex Ch. 03

Soraya continued, "The biggest lesson of tantric sex is learning to become free of grasping for more, rushing to reach a conclusion, and learning to let go of the outcome. The outcome is the outcome. Let go of trying to force it or control the pace at which your play progresses. Do not judge whether a sexual experience has been successful by whether it has resulted in orgasm; instead start to appreciate the pleasure of all sexual interactions regardless of how far they progress, or how rapidly, and where they get to. This is about mindfulness and being in the moment and appreciating the moment without obsessing that you have got to get to a particular outcome or conclusion and quickly! Try to see the pleasure in every moment-even for example when you are just holding your partner's hand."

I found this a very rewarding and thought-provoking session and it continued in this vein.

Cuddling and Hugging

Soraya then moved the session on into talking about cuddling and hugging. Soraya asked us to each choose a partner. She told us, as she was fond of doing, not to agonise over our choice as 'you'll not be marrying them!'

She said we will be rotating anyway. Soraya invited us to now get our kit off again if we felt comfortable. I chose Mark and thankfully he also seemed happy to be with me. We knew each other of course from the first retreat. I had always liked him but somehow at the first retreat we never spent much time together until the party on the last night. Soraya invited us to cuddle and hug our partners either standing up or sitting or lying on the yoga mats-whatever we felt most drawn to do. The important thing was that we had to concentrate on enjoying just the hug and enjoy it and savour it for what it is. Not for how it might develop. I want you to feel absolute pleasure and contentment from just the hug and dismiss any thoughts of going further.

Mark and I sat down on a yoga mat and enthusiastically put our arms around each other tightly. We were glad to have the chance. I imagined our energy flowing through our fingers into each other. I then asked him to lie on his side and I did the same facing him. We were both then able to put our arms around each other and hold each other's buttocks tight. We held our groins tightly together. We picked up where we had left off at the last night party at the naturist retreat. We were permitted to rock backwards and forwards a little but not to try to progress any further. The idea was to concentrate on how agreeable just doing this felt. And it certainly did. However, I did notice to Mark's annoyance that he had a semi-erection. I laughed and said, "I am not sure that is allowed. Better not let Soraya see!"

We were rudely interrupted. Soraya then asked us to find a different partner. Amy and I chose each other. Mark wondered off with his semi-erection and may have had some difficulty finding someone else to hug him in that state! Amy and I chose to remain standing and cuddle up tight. We were also carrying on from where we had got to at the naturist retreat last night party. So, I had cheated and not actually cuddled anyone new. But it was a cuddle of genuine love, unconditional approval, friendship and affection which was the point of the exercise. We just showed each other that true human to human deep connection that is possible especially when you come together naked.

Soraya reminded us, "So only gentle rocking is allowed, but no wriggling or grinding or exploring with your hands. I want you to mindfully just concentrate on the pleasure and bliss from what is now, and not keep trying to develop or advance your engagement. Pay attention to all your five senses. Let it be a magic moment."

We just looked into each other's eyes staring intently and smiling. We held each other as tightly and closely as we could. I felt sure that one day we would take this further. I believe we really did enjoy the static pleasure of this intense holding and touching experience. The ongoing skin to skin sensations and the mutual warmth of each other's bodies. For a while our living bodies were fused together.

I genuinely did get the point of this exercise; that is to enjoy the moment and not be grasping for more, and I understood why this was important to preparing us to understand tantric techniques.

Soraya then called a halt to this and said that we were a little bit early to break for lunch so would finish off the morning with half an hour's yoga. We all remained naked for this. We were all old hands. Veterans of the naturist retreat!

Soraya and the Truth about Gender Fluidity

After lunch we all gathered back in the temple wondering what was coming next especially when Soraya is involved. This session did not disappoint.

Soraya began the session by asking,"OK so how many genders are there? Two maybe?"

No one was going to be caught out by that. Everybody knows that is a minefield nowadays.

Soraya went on, "I want to say a little about trying to focus less on gender. We can all be too wrapped up in gender. We need to look for connection, love and kindred spirits wherever we find them. People are just people and their gender is just a label. It does not change them as a person. And in any case, we are all somewhere on a scale of gender and not always in the same position. None of us are always 100% male or 100% female. Nearly all of us is somewhere between the two and most of us can be to some degree fluid.

Soraya continued, "Ok we are now going to conduct a little experiment to try to convince you that it makes no difference, who is touching you. For this exercise we will be blindfolded."

You could always rely on Soraya for something exotic to happen. She was never boring or predictable.

Soraya went on, "I am now coming around with eye shades again. Have them ready to put on."

"Now I want you to pair off with someone of your own gender. This is only a short exercise so again do not agonise over who you choose. You will not be marrying them as I say."

Amy and me quickly chose each other again with some glee and girlish giggles. I think Soraya may have seen this and said, "Find someone new please. Not someone who you worked with before lunch."

Suitably admonished we separated, and I ended up with Carol who was a little older than me who had been on my first naturist retreat. Carol was slim and looked elegant and well preserved. She looked like she was a regular at the Pilates and yoga classes. In her introduction she had said she was bisexual but lived alone.

"Then I want you find a free yoga mat and lie down with them and cuddle up with your partner."

Soraya turned the lights off in the temple and started some background spa type music.

"I know that some of you will feel uncomfortable with this exercise. But that is the point really. If any of you feel just too uncomfortable then you can sit it out and just watch. Otherwise now please put on your eye shades."

We all did as we were instructed. No one would go against the goddess that was Soraya. But there was a fair bit of nervous giggling. Even from the blokes! In fact, especially from the blokes!

Soraya nipped that in the bud. She instructed, "OK from now onwards you are not allowed to speak or comment in any way. What I want you to do is gently caress and massage your partner. If you like you can slowly creep under their robe with your hands but above all concentrate on them and just respond to how they feel."

"I also want you to just enjoy the touches of your partner."

"OK now I want you to each choose one of you to go first and the other to go second. You are going to be either givers or receivers and those who are receiving must be totally passive and just concentrate on the act of receiving pleasure. Even that is a skill. Everything in tantric sex is a skill. And those of you who are giving must just concentrate on that with no thought of what you will get back."

Carol who had always claimed to be the shy demure type, suggested assertively, "I will go first if you like. You just lie back and receive."

I thought it was funny that Carol had used Soraya's word-receive. What an obedient model student she was I thought. Anyway, I was both surprised and pleased by her proactivity and delighted to accept.

I got myself comfortable lying on my front. I felt Carol's soft gentle female hands gently sliding up the backs of my legs. It felt surprisingly nice. What is not to like I thought. This was in my memory the first slightly erotic touch I had ever received from a woman.

Soraya continued, "Those of you who are giving at the moment -this phase is going to last for about 10 minutes. You may find that a long time. So, try to settle in and just concentrate on the responses and signs from your partner to guide you."

"Now for those of you who are receiving I want you to concentrate only on the feeling of the touch. Please do not start trying to predict what will happen next. Where they will touch you next. No thoughts of what you want to happen next. Just see how the touch from another feels so gorgeous regardless of whether it is from a male or a female. See how it makes absolutely no difference whether the giver is the same gender as you. A touch can always feel loving and beautiful. It is only our minds that delude us that it cannot come from someone of the same gender. When we are blindfolded then our minds cease trying to interfere with the experience by alerting us that it is coming from someone of the same gender. Just be in the moment, be aware, be alive, live in and enjoy the moment. Do not judge or evaluate the moment. Just let the sensations and pleasure flow through you. Trust what feels right."

Carol did not seem to need any of this guidance. She was a natural. She had though told us she was bisexual. She seemed to be far too good at this. No barriers for her to overcome. She had done this before with other women many times that was for sure. Carol tried to turn me over onto my back. I willingly helped her. Immediately Carol was parting my robe and stroking me all over my tummy and pussy. She was going for it. She parted my legs to give her better access. I was loving it and fully encouraging her all the way.

Soraya added," Again you givers-go as far or be as reserved as the signs from your receiver guide you. You will know what is welcome and what is not. Your receiver will show you the limits. Feel your way. Excuse the pun!"

Carol did not need any encouragement from Soraya I thought. Anyway, the point of this exercise was 100% made on me. I loved the feel of Carol caressing me and although I was not supposed to, I could not help but want more and did not want it to end. She certainly had my nipples standing pert and erect. I was so moist. When she slid her delicate fingers up and down the lips of my eager pussy, I certainly did not care who was doing this to me. It was as equally irresistible as ever. I could see for myself that attention from another woman could feel every bit as nice as attention from a man. Why had I always been so fixed and unquestioning in my attitudes and prejudices? I felt sure that I would continue this with another woman one day-maybe Amy perhaps. Or even Carol?

All too soon the 10 minutes were up. It was brutal when Soraya instructed us that it was time to swop places and roles. Carol had been making pretty rapid progress. I shudder to think where she would have got to with me given another 10 minutes!

I temporarily lifted my eye shades onto my forehead so I could get organised. I clambered up onto my feet and smiled in a knowing connected way at Carol. She smiled back. We had a new bond already. A new level of connection. Funny how intimacy does that.

Then not so innocent and demure Carol surprised me again by immediately whipping off her robe and lying on her back naked from the outset on the yoga mat. I saw her in a new light. Never trust a banana! She could clearly teach me a thing or two.

I felt under pressure. Could I give to Carol as much pleasure as she had given me with such natural ease? It seemed right that I should also slip off my own robe. Two naked girls together. I had completely forgotten by now that we were still in the temple full of everybody. But it did not matter. We were all in our own bubble.

I knelt down on the mat and separated her legs like she had mine. I could feel her pushing her tummy up at me. Lifting her bum up off the mat. Kneeling between her legs I slid my hands under the delicious soft cheeks of her bum. It felt so petite and neat. Much smaller than mine. I was enjoying just sliding my hands up and down her lower back and over her bum from underneath. I squeezed both cheeks in my hands. Carol wriggled with delight. I had never enjoyed feeling the body of another woman quite so purely before. Not that I could remember anyway. I gingerly and tentatively stroked my hands over her breasts, tummy and vagina. I loved the softness and smooth ness of her feminine skin.

I laid down on her, our bare breasts squashed together. Delightful. I kissed her on the mouth lovingly. It just felt right at that moment. She signalled her approval with a tongue that darted between my own lips. I could get into all this girl on girl stuff I am sure. I wondered why I had always been so preoccupied with blokes.

Soraya asked us all to break up now and gather our thoughts. We were all a bit disoriented obviously from all this same sex experimenting. Thankfully it was time for some tea and reflection. It was unusually quiet over tea especially the guys. They really did not know how to react or what they felt about being asked to experiment sexually with other guys. Maybe most guys have much bigger prejudices to overcome, and are more rigid in their thinking where this is concerned than women? I don't know.

After tea Soraya spoke about the now bewildering subject of gender definition. She went into the almost unlimited permutations that can now be separated. These apparently arise from whether someone is gay, heterosexual or bisexual. And then there is pre and post op trans gender. There are those who are just curious to explore. Those who do not know. Those who are fluid and have multiple genders. Those who object to even being asked. There are some people who are just asexual and have no interest, those who seek only romantic relationships but without sex, those who seek only sexual relationships but without romance etc. There are if you tabulated it literally hundreds of possible permutations. The important thing is to accept the right of everyone to be what or whoever they want to be and to be open minded in your own desires, attitudes and assumptions.

We Finally Get to Tantric Sex Techniques

The Tuesday morning started with the usual meditation in the temple and then after breakfast we eagerly gathered again in the temple. Having prepared us mentally for a whole day it was finally time to begin to reveal their version of tantric sex to us. That was the reason we all came here, and we were all keen to get started by now but would not disagree that the previous day's conditioning and preparation had been useful. The only person who could possibly do that was of course the irrepressible Soraya. She asked us how we were all feeling and whether anyone had any questions from the previous day. Nobody did. We were all anxious to finally get going on the real meat of the retreat.

Soraya was dressed again in a beautiful sari but today it was a navy blue one with a gold sash. I wondered if that would be coming off this morning. I pictured her demonstrating some advanced coupling position in front of the group with one of the guys! I would not have put that past her.

At the start of this session in some ways I was apprehensive about exactly what tantric techniques were going to be covered and how we were going to be asked to try them. In particular I was worried about her bringing up fellatio. You may not have noticed that I have never mentioned sucking anyone's dick in my stories and this is because on the one or two occasions that I have tried it early on I hated it. It is just not for me I am afraid. Sorry guys! I need not have worried. It was never covered at this retreat.

Soraya brought an end to my day dreaming by beginning, "Some people believe that sexual arousal and desire are at odds with being spiritual and mindful. But here we believe the opposite is true. In fact, you can harness sexual arousal to elevate you to a higher state of consciousness and bliss. An orgasm is arguably an out of body experience that connects you with the universe."

I was not sure I believed in this stuff yet, but it was going to be fun putting it to the test I thought.

She continued, "Being spiritual and mindful starts as you know with the cultivation of living in the moment, feeling love for others, and that means everybody-all other human beings, and developing inner peace and contentment. Now living in the moment means celebrating and savouring the physical experiences during sexual play as they occur and to forget about pushing for a conclusion or goal for example usually an orgasm. I know you have heard this before but we cannot repeat it enough. It is the foundation of tantric sex. Just concentrate on what is happening now. Using tantric practice, sex can be made to last much longer and higher states of arousal can be maintained sometimes for hours. Another important aspect of tantric sex is to concentrate completely on your partner, and your love for them and your wish to connect with them. Tantric sex is magical due to the intense states of spiritual connection that are achieved with your partner through physical touch. A meeting of souls."

"You will all have experienced that situation whereby whenever you have an amazing sexual experience and reach the heights of pleasure, your mind immediately starts fretting about if and when that experience is likely to be repeated. Any of you recognise that?"

A few of us grunted agreement.

"What a tragedy it is that the mind is never truly satisfied. Even when your body is satiated and exhausted your mind is already saying, 'Don't get too excited or complacent. How long is it going to be before that experience with that person is going to happen again? Will it be a one-off?

"Tantric sex teaches us to take control of our minds and that great sexual experiences can live on in our minds and be enjoyed over and over again in our minds like the treasured memories of a good holiday. You do not necessarily have to be sure of repeating it to still enjoy it."

"Now I am going to ask a question just to the girls. What is the most important erogenous zone for a woman?"

Various suggestions were offered up by the group of different parts of the female anatomy.

"No, I am afraid you are all wrong. It is your mind."

I realised that I have heard this before.

"A woman has to be in the right place with her fantasies and imagination else orgasm is never going to happen. Am I right?"

We all nodded. No one was going to question Soraya.

"How many of you girls can remember your first time?"

We all shuffled around and looked at the floor. None of us wanted to get picked on.

Soraya went on to tell us, "For most young girls the first time they have penetrative sex it is usually disappointing. No fireworks. They wonder what all the fuss is about after all the anticipation and build up."

She was right about this.

Soraya carried on saying, "Sex gets better with practice. But the biggest difference is that you learn how to relax and not worry about it and embrace it without guilt. Some fucks are better than others. That is life."

Soraya had finally used the word 'fuck' I thought.