All Comments on 'My Little Sister and the Toys'

As this was your maiden attempt at writing a story, I’ll try to be gentle and pop your cherry without too much discomfort.

The story seems, at first glance, to be grammatically correct. While I did speed read the story, no glaring amateur problems seemed apparent. It’s also possible that some lonely, but unloved guy read this story and busted his nut over your sister fantasy. Consider yourself as having served mankind! And . . . well, that’s the last nice thing I can say.

Whether you are 18 or 88, you’ve written this story with the egocentric myopia of a teen. The story revolves purely around the topic out of reach of most “engineers”, making human contact with another human. There is no love exhibited towards Amy. No shared childhood joy or trauma, no annoyance at having his sister horn in on his turf - cockblocking him from dating - something that never occurs to an “engineer” with little hope of that ever happening.

Amy is, in every way, not a person but a living, breathing fleshlight.

I truly hope you are 18, as this may prove a learning opportunity. Try getter no to know a woman as something other than spank bank material.

Part 2?????

More please, such a hot sexy story deserves more. I hope they will stay together and make a baby.

Not bad for what I'm assuming was your first story here. You write well enough, and the story and details kept me entertained.

For your next story, it could be longer. A lot of readers like a slow burn. Not necessarily chapter after chapter, but maybe 2-3 pages.

Oh, also - orgasm, not organism!

Story was good and to the point, I love fucking the sister after she was done with the toys. Pay no attention to what the ass hole said in the other comment. Good luck in future writings.

With more smile than while reading your story, I read the other comment.

I am not an engineer. My background is financial and sales. One of my passions used to be selling to engineers, as the clicked their rings on my desk and still had to yield to my logic, buying my product(s) and/or financial reasoning.

Engineers are not all uniniated geeks !

Fun read and, yes, most likely from a new/younger author. Still, fun to read and a joyful first offering.

Wow! Please continue.

I'm still waiting for the best organism of my life. Lol. A little more editing but all and all, great story.

Great story. I've been married twice and yet sex with my younger sister is the best I ever had. We did it often till I was 30 and she 26.

Great story, but could definitely use some clean up. Mostly of the issues are missing, extra, or incorrect words, but the biggest one that caught my attention was the fact that they never removed the toy be fore he plunged himself into her. So either he slid in beside it, or it was up her ass. These thing need to be taken into account and not assumed that the reader will fill in the gaps.