My Love

I greeted her between the doors with a friendly hug. Or rather, it was she who greeted me because I didn't have a second to move from my spot and she was already glued to me with her hands behind my back.

"Welcome home, sister," I said smiling and patting her back.

"Thank you," she replied a little softly and snuggled up to me more. "I'm happy to be back," she added as she leaned away from me a little and looked up into my face with those big brown eyes of hers. I just smiled back at her with another smile and once again I held her lightly against me and stroked her back. "And I'm glad you're alive, little brother. I missed you so much."

"Me too Jana. I missed you too..." I replied, this time looking into her face.

I had an incredible urge to kiss her. I still remembered how her lips tasted, but we both wanted to start over and wanted to get rid of our aroused feelings for each other somehow, even though we knew it would be hard.

After a few more seconds of hugging we pulled away and I helped my sister upstairs to her room with her things. She was really happy to be back home because she believed she was among people who loved her. She told me in the hospital that some of the students didn't like her but they didn't hurt her, they just refused to interact with her sometimes or they left when she was around them. She felt lonely then and now she was glad to be back among her own people and her brown eyes told me that she was most glad to be with me again.

That love was still between us. We both felt it and had the will to ignore it.

When I walked into her room with her, it reminded me of the day she came here last year. I remembered how I treated her then. It was pretty cruel of me. It actually made me think of what happened afterwards... all that... what separated us in the end.

Jana looked around her room on the spot, her expression full of joy, and then she turned and saw my eyes staring into space, my brain in thoughts.

"What's on your mind?" She asked gently, stepping closer to me, startling me when she saw me stuck like a nail in the wall.

"That last year..." I answered her quietly, hanging my head a little sadly. "It's like it's all happening again... only... this time I'm glad you're here..." I added with a small smile and looked at my beautiful sister again.

My sister took one last step towards me, only a few inches separating us. She then took my wrists in her hands and looked at me seriously with a sad smile. "Let's forget all this..." She whispered. She studied my face as I should react to it. I could see that deep down she felt she wished the opposite of what she just said. "There's always a second chance, Danny." She studied my reaction again. "Let's take that chance... let's stop worrying and think about what once was."

I swallowed and tensed a little nervously. She was right. We both had a second chance and we were going to take it. Just the one with the endless love that was still between us and the eyes of each other constantly reminding us... could still destroy us again.

Wouldn't it have been easier for both of us... if we were alone in the world? A lot of things would be solved.

"I know, Jana... we have to take advantage of this and be strong and brave," I replied with a smile, wrapping my arms around her shoulders again as she wrapped hers around my waist and let out a small sigh of contentment.

***

A few hours later...

I was in my room at my computer, continuing to write my book. Jana was in her room unpacking her things. I gave her time. After all... if we were together all the time... it wouldn't have done much for the relationship we were about to start again.

About an hour and a few minutes passed after she arrived and when I had enough writing for the day I got up and went to see what my sister was doing after all.

Her bedroom door was wide open so I stepped between the doors and noticed she was sitting in front of her mirror making a bun out of her hair. She was dressed only in a light blue two-piece swimsuit and was sitting with her back to me.

Oh, how beautiful she was...

I slowly walked towards her, she spotted me in the mirror so I didn't have a chance to scare her. I leaned back against the back of her chair and watched in the mirror as she smiled at me and rubber banded her bun.

"Going for a swim?" I asked, a loose strand of her shiny hair reaching her face, so I tucked it behind her ear.

"Uhmm..." She replied with a murmur.

After she had finished her bun, she sighed loudly in relief, her hands resting in her lap. She looked at my face in the mirror with a big smile. I leaned lower to Jana, still looking at her face in the mirror, silently staring at her as she did.

We stared at each other in silence, checking each other's faces.

Then I leaned my left side of my head against hers and sighed too, but softly. "I'm really glad you're here," I told her silently, closing my eyes.

I felt her hand on my right cheek as she stroked me smoothly and then my sister whispered, "Me too, Danny... me too..."

After a few minutes of mutual contemplation I returned to my room to put on my swimsuit and go to the pool with her. Then we both met in the hallway and walked down the stairs together.

I noticed how she looked in her bikini from the front and it stuck in my mind again... just like back then... whether Jana was already complete.

"Can I ask you something?" I spoke as we walked down the stairs together.

"Sure?" She answered immediately.

"Have you... you know? Are you done with your transition?" I asked her a little nervously. I didn't want this conversation to end where it did the last time I asked her.

"Are you wondering if I already have my pussy?" She answered my question while acting normal and continuing to walk.

"Please... a Yes or No is all I need."

"Nope... I still have a sausage and two eggs," she replied, giggling softly.

I froze at that moment like a stone in the sole.

"Really?" I looked a little surprised. "Hasn't it been a while since you've been in transition?"

"Danny..." She sighed, stopping and turning to face me, her right hand on her hip. "Gender reassignment surgery isn't mandatory... and I still can't decide. I'd like to have a cunt... but at the same time I think... I'm gonna miss my dick."

That's when I realized something very important.

"Oh, my God, what are we doing?" I looked at her desperately.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are we talking about pussies and dicks? It ended badly last time. Isn't that what we both want to avoid?"

She was silent for a moment, just looking at me thoughtfully, her head drooping as she scratched her right elbow.

"You're right. I don't know why I spoke in such detail."

"It's hard for me too..." I stepped closer to her. "But as we promised each other a moment ago... we have to be strong if we want to have a better future."

"I know..." She let out a sad sigh and looked into my eyes.

"Come on..." I put my arm around her shoulders. "Water is waiting."

We both ended up laughing a little and immediately felt better.

We ended up in our pool together. We swam around in circles, splashed water on each other and towards the end we just relaxed on the edges of the pool and talked.

Then after we had been in the water long enough I started getting cramps in my toes on my left foot we both climbed out into the sun to dry off.

Immediately the horseflies swarmed over to us and started nipping at us until we were thoroughly dry. I knew that Jana was very sensitive when it came to pinches and burns. She didn't like nature very much.

Afterwards, Jana spread a large towel on the lawn that I had trimmed and lay down with her back on it. She began to relax and catch the bronze on her perfect body.

"You should put on sunscreen..." I grinned a little loudly and laid down on my towel next to her, but more into a smaller sunburn.

"Oh fuck..." She cursed. "You're right." And she ran inside to get her sunscreen.

A few minutes later she was back with the lotion and sat back down in her seat next to me. I rolled onto my side, propped my head up with my hand, and watched my sister smear sunscreen all over her body.

It was really hard to be around her and not look at her and admire how beautiful she was. I knew it was wrong... but the boy couldn't help himself in that regard no matter how hard he tried.

"Will you rub my back?" She asked, snapping me out of my thoughts and my dull stare at her.

Was that wise?

"Are you sure?" I answered her with a little uncertainty.

"Of course..." She said with a smile.

With a sigh, I took her sunscreen from her and sat on her towel behind her to get better access. I squeezed the bottle and let some of the cream run into my palm. I then smeared a little of the cream in my palm as if I were a masseur and began to spread it over Jana's amazing back.

There was nothing special about it, at least to me... until I smeared the cream on her neck and shoulders. I applied a little pressure and started massaging my sister. She arched her back a little and bent her head down.

She was obviously enjoying it because I heard a faint moan come out of her mouth and it started to make me nervous because I was getting turned on by this whole situation and could feel the pressure in my swimsuit.

God, no...

I looked a little desperate but I continued to rub her until I had enough and didn't want to make things worse. Jana then thanked me and lay down on her flat tummy and I went back to my towel, also belly down so she wouldn't see my hard-on.

Everything was pretty much the same as before. Same way I was getting hard on my sister before. Why was it so hard? How could two people who were once brothers fall in love like that?

This was going to be a long summer.

***

The next few weeks were hard for the two of us again. We were trying to get used to being apart so we wouldn't torture each other. We usually stayed in our own rooms and only got together for meals or by the pool, but we never stayed in our rooms together.

I could see in Jana that even she was worried when I was around her too long. Even though we wanted to be together and be friends, we had to keep our distance.

Eventually we agreed to go out in the fresh air and do some walking.

And so we went out together.

We took our backpacks to put our stuff in, like drinks, cell phones, wallets and house keys. We wore something comfortable and also shoes that were suitable for walking.

At first we just walked around our village. Jana greeted the people we occasionally met and talked to them for a while and then we continued on into the forest.

Even though I sometimes had blackouts I knew very well that the paths in the forest were sometimes overgrown and so we had to walk in the thick grass. We both had our legs sprayed with tick repellent, only Jana didn't wear pants for such a situation. She only wore short denim shorts.

We arrived at a place I knew very well and I hoped Jana did too, but even when we arrived at our spring, Jana looked surprised and her mouth stretched into a long O.

"Oh my god..." She put her hand on her chest. "I had completely forgotten about this place..." She sounded so surprised and started to look happy. "You still remember this place?" she asked me after looking at our place for a while.

"Of course. I've been here a few times. Before you came," I answered her and sat down on a bench that was not far from the spring.

I opened my backpack, grabbed a bottle of water and took a small sip. Jana then sat down next to me with her hands in her lap, still looking at the spring with shining eyes and a big smile.

The area around us was quiet, only the frequent singing of birds and the chirping of bugs in the grass could be heard. This was the place to relax and it was truly beautiful.

We were here extra in the morning because later there would be mosquitoes and I always wanted to avoid that, if only for my sister who wasn't fond of insects. She wasn't the nature type, but she always loved this place.

I, on the other hand, loved nature. Even though I didn't like insects, I liked to go into the woods or among the meadows and look at the Bohemian Central Highlands, where you could see how our land was surrounded by mountains and formed such a valley. The forefather Czech chose a beautiful place, right in the middle, and so our country became the heart of Europe. If only our history had not been so cruel and violent. Being in the center of Europe always made us part of some oppression and also a strategic place for the Nazis during World War II.

Now we had freedom and could enjoy such beautiful places in our country like this. Jana and I just sat next to each other, relaxing and thinking, occasionally looking at each other.

After a moment of staring and contemplation, I felt my sister leaning against me and resting her head on my right shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and continued to relax until a few minutes later I heard my sister's soft snoring.

She must have been very relaxed to fall asleep so early in the morning... on my shoulder. Apparently it was time to go so I leaned in a little to wake her up, but at that moment my nose caught her sweet scent.

Even though Jana no longer had her cherry look her perfume was still the same and I always liked it, so I sniffed again and enjoyed her wonderful scent.

"Jana?" I whispered, moving her a little.

Jana opened her eyes and yawned a little. Then she lifted her head and looked at me for a long moment. Right into my eyes and sighed. Her sigh sounded sad though.

"What?" I asked her gently when I saw that even her expression had turned a little sorrowful.

She continued to stare into my eyes for a long time until she swallowed weakly and took a deep breath.

"Do you think we could ever be normal? Like before?"

I had no idea where she was going with that question.

"What do you mean?"

"Like before... when we were brothers?"

I stared at her blankly.

"I don't believe... we'll ever be able to do that. Not after all this time," she whispered, eyes closed, moving closer to my face for a few seconds until she placed a sweet little kiss on my lips. "I'm still in love with you, Danny. I can't resist it. I'm so sorry," she added desperately. I could see her sad eyes getting wet and her lips starting to tremble as she tried not to cry.

I looked at my sister for a long time. I felt like crying too, but I had a stronger will than her, because streams of her tears were already streaming down her cheeks.

But I thought my sister was much stronger in her feelings and was braver in allowing our relationship to be normal again. Apparently not.

"Jana... you're making it harder for both of us..." I replied desperately.

"I know..." She whimpered softly. "I believed I would have the strength to get through this... that I could just forget about it. I could only forget our past... but my love for you, Danny... that's something that can't be forgotten. Please forgive me..." She sobbed at the end.

I hugged my sister and stroked her blonde hair. "YOU have to forgive ME, Jana..." I paused to consider my next words carefully, but unfortunately I had no choice but to stop it where it was and not get further into something worse. "We can't be together. It's not right. Fuck what happened! I don't care that you seduced me that time and we did porn together. I've put that behind me... but even if we forget all that... it's just not possible."

Jana let out a few more pitiful sobs, but finally calmed down a bit and with her head hanging down she answered me quietly, "I think I understand..."

But her tone told me she was disappointed... but this really couldn't happen again. It would just make everything worse.

"I'm really sorry..." I put my arms around her shoulders one last time and stroked her back. Then I got up from the bench and walked away with slow steps, my sister following me a moment later with a small sniffle.

I felt sorry for my sister. I didn't want her to feel rejected like that, but I had to keep my cock in my pants because I didn't want our relationship to ever end really badly.

We walked slowly for a few minutes through the forest paths further to the other end of the woods, I could hear my sister's slow footsteps behind me. We didn't talk for long, but at least I couldn't hear her whimpering and crying anymore.

I kept thinking about the two of us, though. The fact was, if we were together and things could ever go wrong... we could both end up in the wrong way. A lot of Czechs were bad people and there was a chance someone might turn us into the police. In that case, we could go to jail for up to three years if the police found out about our past business. I couldn't imagine what kind of prison my big sister would be sent to. She was a woman on top, still a man on the bottom, and she was also identified as a male in our state until she was castrated, and just the thought of what could happen to her in a men's prison made me discouraged.

"Ummm... Danny?" I heard my sister's alarmed voice as she snapped me out of my thoughts.

I turned behind me and found that my sister was a little way from me, as I had just passed a place where the path was quite narrow and led through waist-high nettles.

Jana didn't like pinches and stings, so I could see why she stopped. Besides, she was only wearing denim shorts and her legs were bare so she was afraid to go any further. Unfortunately we had to continue this way as it would take a really long time to get back.

How to solve this situation?

I walked back a little way to her. She was still sad, but she was also afraid to just walk that way.

"You'll be fine..." I comforted her. "It's just a little sting, and if you're careful, maybe you'll get through without being touched." I smiled a little hopefully.

She shook her head and hugged her shoulders.

"You know what?" I said after a moment when I got an idea. "Put your arms around my neck..." I added, and Jana stared at me for a moment, but finally did.

When she wrapped her arms around my neck, I leaned down a little, grabbed her below the knees and lifted her into my arms. That way it would be safe for her and we could get through without my sister getting burned.

Her eyes immediately lit up with surprise and understanding of what I had planned. She also smiled a little and looked better than she had a few minutes ago.

So I slowly made my way through the path between the nettles, Jana straightened her legs to make sure she really wasn't touching anything and I carefully carried her over to the other side.

As I walked with her in my arms, I couldn't help but watch her look so happy and content in my arms that she even rested her head against my neck and relaxed a little.

I liked to see her happy. It was better than seeing her sad face full of tears. Could we be together again?

It ran through my mind again as I carried my sister through the nettles. We'd have to be very careful, though. Besides, we could never have a family together. Not because Jana couldn't have children, but because we were siblings.

But despite everything, I still loved her and I still knew that my heart would always belong to her... but I was worried about the consequences if our relationship became public.

Why was incest such a hated act and forbidden fruit in the first place? How can we be punished for loving someone? People shouldn't have the right to say who we can and can't love. It wasn't right.

But at that moment I was snapped out of my thoughts by a low branch hitting me on the forehead and I fell to the ground with my sister. But the only one who groaned loudly in pain was Jana.

"Oh my God... are you okay, baby?" I asked her, worried that she had hurt herself somehow. We were already far away from where the nettles were but Jana had hit her elbow on a sharp rock and hurt herself a little and was bleeding a little. "I'm so sorry. I'm stupid!"